dwarf

Yeah can someone embed Fuch's tweet, it's unreal. Football, man. Football.

You didn't notice you were rolling around like a crippled bison? Get yourself a Havel's Ring.

Invading people at the Profaned Capital is the most fun I've had playing this. Earlier I managed to drop-strike a phantom from one ledge, kick him off a second ledge, and somehow land a strike as he fell, with the fall damage finishing him off. Other times I've lured phantoms towards the Hand enemies who've then been 'eaten' (they've been peckish for me too, so that made me look like a mug once). Nothing beats this game for trolling. Edit - this isn't even the region I'm talking about, but I almost managed something pretty special. Fucked up the plunge, but worth it for the host soiling himself:

Yeah I didn't understand that fight either. If it took place in a confined space I might've understood, but as it was you could pop to the other side of the hall for a cup of tea and return at your leisure.

Do you use the estoc? Haha, the estus block animation is hilarious. I'm not even good at PVP, but it's immensely enjoyable ruining someone's day

You can play stats like vigor and endurance by ear, whereas the other stats that relate to specific equipment/buffs it's good to do homework on and plan your levels in bulk (e.g. only raising attunement when you have a few levels' worth of souls, due to the fact you only get an additional spell slot after multiple level upgrades). I've recently found that I'm getting stunlocked by higher level enemies, so extra endurance would be a good idea for me.

I watched a review of Star Fox: Zero earlier and was struck by how primitive the enemy ship models were. They've hardly evolved from the stapled-together polygons from the original, and the lack of action in the proper 3D sections was woeful. Insomniac's congested cityscapes from their R&C games cast a humiliating shadow over the whole thing.

Yeah, I noped out at that point having scraped through a phantom-aided fight with one of them earlier in Irithyll. Yeah it's a pain in the arse, but the loot is worth it. Bring a bow with you next time so you can aggro the feral dogs from a safe platform, and maybe equip some decent pyromancies for the magic tree bastards. You know the ones I mean - I managed to deal with them by luring them out to the stone tower (which houses 8 chunder-slugs) and playing Ring a Ring o' Roses with them, but with added fireball. If you were keen to get the Dark Sword, there is a hostile NPC in the Farron Keep area who drops one. At least he did for me, I kind of happened on it unexpectedly. Pro-tip: if you have any dual-wield dagger weapons, equip them so that you have one in each hand (i.e. equivalent of double-handing a single weapon) and use the L2 ability to boost through the swamp. The move uses FP, but it enables you to plough through the swamp without any movement penalty. Don't worry about running out of FP when doing so either, because you'll still be able to use it with adequate regularity when the bar is depleted - it doesn't fully deplete.

@The Bard Have you encountered that bullshit they've repeated from the original Dark Souls, by which I mean the sheer-drop walkways guarded by archers? It seems so doable, but then I cri evry tiem. Edit: did it lul. Bullshit has definitely been toned down slightly

There is a key later on at the High Wall which gives you access to a prisoner cell, and the prisoner will sell you some dope items back at the Shrine. There is another locked door near that second bonfire in the tower which I haven't found anywhere in the game as of yet though. Anyone ( @ThePigMarcher ) know where that key is? I've exhausted pretty much every area now apart from Irithyll and Smouldering Lake, both of which are going to be horrible, presumably. Have upgraded my Talisman and Dark Sword a fair amount now though, so should be ready. Dark miracles be bitchin'.

The synergy of the Knee team on Plunder was truly something to behold. Only a couple of weeks to go, chaps. I'll blitz through the campaign so I can sink my teeth into the multiplayer as soon as possible. If there's a season pass, it would be silly not to use the free £20 store voucher I pinched from the steelbook deal. Mmm.

Does it allow you to tank through powerful attacks and deal damage? I don't really understand what context it is useful in.

I've done that boss (& Abyss Watchers just now) but have had no luck reaching it. I keep looping back on myself. There is a little platform you can jump to from the top of the stairs but I don't think it leads to anything. Possibly an invisible wall somewhere but idk. @Daft Estus: http://darksouls3.wiki.fextralife.com/Undead+Bone+Shard You'll probably have found some undead bone shards already, just go to the firelink shrine bonfire and you should be able to burn the shards there. Gives you more health per heal. Have you made sure to reinforce the estus flask by handing estus shards into Blacksmith Andre? @Sheikah - I've upgraded the Dark Sword to +2 and infused it with hard gem. Will leave a review later.

It depends what your starting weapon is, but many of the base weapons are viable options when upgraded. If it handles well for you, there might be a reason to stick with it. The Zweihander has a hilarious uppercut special that sends enemies soaring, but it's really hard to use and I can only see myself using the weapon here and there. Arstor's spear is OK but the katana is so versatile and user friendly that I'm reverting to that again. Really want to infuse it but I can't see the point at the moment. The refine gem balances the dex/strength scaling, effectively boosting the strength stat to C. Not exactly setting the world on fire, even with my high strength & dex (& faith) build. Anyone know how to reach this item in Road of Sacrifices - a bunch of wizards are located near hear, and there's also a hole in the floor that drops you next to a mad cunt in the swamp. Trying to mop up some items/explore past areas more thoroughly after storming through several them.

I'm pissed off with Sony because I bought my PS4 in the belief that it would run games in 4K. There was no 4K feature advertised on the box, and there was no 'free model upgrade to PS4K' guarantee on it either, but I'm still really fucked off with them that I only got what I paid for, and not what I wanted in my dreams. Fuck Sony.

I'm still upgrading the katana (can we all agree to call it that?) but I will give the Zweihander a go. I figure it'll come in useful when tanking bosses that don't require shielding, with the spunk tree being a good example of that. Yeah some of the bonfires actually make the shortcuts redundant. I'm never upset about seeing one, but like with your poem I'm not sure how I earned the privilege.

Do you just have to give the Spunky Tree soul to the blacksmith for that? Should probably have tried that by now. Currently running an upgraded Uchigatana, and trying to figure out if I prefer the drop you get from the Ice dog miniboss guarding the way to Road of Sacrifices (Irithyll Straight Sword). I rolled with a lightning Uchigatana for half of Dark Souls and I'm guessing it will work as well in this game. But then again, I don't want to be a boring sod. Tempted by this double-hand beast: http://darksouls3.wiki.fextralife.com/Zweihander Also, glad I found the stamina regen ring. God-Tier.

I don't feel like I earned this.

Yeah I was surprised how much crisper Bloodborne looks by comparison. Managed to dick over the first boss in this first time, which I was pretty happy with, despite him being a wetwipe*. *High poise of Knight class probably saved me from having my nut caved in.

I ordered this Yesterday at 3pm from 365games.co.uk and it arrived this morning. That shit doesn't happen to me, ever, considering I live in a village remoter and harder to find than Ash Lake. #ClumsyDarkSouls1Reference Shame I'll be travelling to London a little later because I'm super ready to die right now.

Fuck it, can't bear to see everyone talk about this and not have it myself. Ordered.

Even though I pointlessly add everything to my basket, I'm with Kav on this on principle. I'm never going to have the time to play most of these games and a lot of them look like dross.

Been in my new admin job for just under 2 months now and want to quit. The amount of calls I have to make stresses me out - I've always been anxious on the phone and I especially don't enjoy it in the context of having to chase things up or receive criticism about errors I've made. My organisational skills are not up to task, so I'm perpetually feeling incompetent, like I'm suffocating under the ballooning workload. The worst thing is that I'm tucked away in an office on my own with nobody else at the office to advise me on how to use the software I work on (software which, as you can probably guess by the way this is going, is an utter ballache). The only reason I've not handed in my notice is that the majority of my employment period so far has been training, and so out of goodwill I want to try to persevere for the sake of my manager, who would have to retrain someone else from scratch. But that's really not a compelling reason to stay either, partly due to the stress which I foresee only getting worse, and partly because if I'm to end my contract in a few months time (6 month temporary contract but with strong indication they would make the job permanent), they may as well get someone who is keen to train up now, rather than keep a ditherer who might abandon them just when they've finally been fully trained and settled in. Would be a huge weight off my shoulders to leave. Argh.

Any impressions? Saw @Daft playing it.