bob

Also, i love not having to worry about stuff breaking. Boiler snuffed it? Cry to estate agent! Toilet blocked? Phone the landlord! If i owned the place, i would have to put money aside to deal with stuff like that, or claim on home insurance.

I love Ba.

The other day I was drying my hands in a public bathroom when the automatic air freshener in the corner of the ceiling went off. Because I'm 6'3", it puffed me in the face. Being tall has its drawbacks...

I think you have to divide by 2 before you consider the value of anyone bought during this transfer window.

My fiancé and I have enough savings to get a mortgage, but fuck that. Renting is cool.

It should hopefully make tomorrow very exciting!

Apparently Tottenham have yet to score from open play this season...

I struggle to remember game storylines. I even try and concentrate when the cut-scenes occur, but halfway through the game i realise that i haven't really been following and i have no idea what i'm killing X, Y and Z for anyway. I'm not sure why.

He is, but don't call me Shirley.

Can't shag her if it's not hard.

I was at an outdoor screening of Mamma Mia and they had an advert for Haagen Daas. 50 foot version of Bradley Coopers smug face on the screen. I tried taking photos but my phone couldn't handle the smugness. I thought people ought to know.

Christ people, I'm on my way to Bournemouth right now and you aren't selling it at all. Considering turning around and going back...

Yeah it struggles when I score so many goals it can't keep up.

And then there was one. YOU CAN NOT CONTAIN MY MIGHT.

Who are you playing next Cube?

I wonder how many uncircumcised boys use lube because they hear about it from America, but don't really need it...

I put this tie on with ruler and a spirit level.

Vote: Rummy

I think it is pretty ridiculous. Humans procreated for thousands of years with the tip on, only for someone to suddenly decide that it unecessary anatomy, and snip it off. Having said that, once people are old enough they can do it if they want to, but doing it to children who have no say in it is wrong I think. (edit: unless it's medically necessary at that age obvs)

You still had the tortilla though right? RIGHT?!

Wedding at the Intercontinental in London, open bar. Yay! Is good. Photos to follow, verdict on my tie needed @Jon

WHO TOLD YOU?!

My tactics are top secret.

That's all that can appear on the front of the screen.