arab_freak Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 I've been sitting around off and on trying to think of a good intellectual post to pop on general. You see, I CAN be an uber good intellect when I want, and I have a decent range of things I can discuss intelligently, but I just couldn't think of anything to post in Off-topic. You see, politics is usually a good topic to get a hot debate going... but we have a forum for that. I don't know much about flash and programming.... also have a forum for that. I could blab on about some news from my website... but there's a place for that. I would maybe discuss art and literature, but half the users here can barely type, and we know that would go downhill fast. Then it hit me. Everyone poops. So, let's discuss poop. More specifically, let's discuss the mechanics of it and how we humans can use our vast inttelect to improve this process. Firstly, there is the actual act. Americans must lower their drawers and sit on a toilet. The sitting position keeps the poop away from your clothes and positions you so any splashing will only hit your skin and can be easily wiped off. This is ideal for not having to put your drawers all the way to ankle level, but it doesn't give the ass crack maximum spreadage. This results in minor smearing on the way out, and god forbid you have ass hair: cling-ons. In Japan they have different toilets. These marvels do not have a seat, you simply squat over them much in the way you squat behind a bush when camping. The bowl is shaped for minimal splashing, but you do need to pull your pants down to the floor just to be safe. This extra time spent pulling the pands down is easily made up by the speed at wich you can wipe your optimally spread crack. While this method is ultimately cleaner and faster, it does require a degree of endurance, especially if you want to read the paper while you poop. It is general knowledge that japan is far far below america on the pollution offenders list. Is it possible that our method of pooping is contributing to this? On average an american uses 4x as much TP to clean thier crack, than any japanese person would use. Is it possible that improving how we poop could save the rain forrest? Please, discuss this most important topic and maybe one day we can make our world a better place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BGS Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 I don't care but I'd like for you all to poop on my chest sometime. Thanks very much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arragaun Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 That wouldn't be Cleaveland steaming chest-poop by any chance would it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supergrunch Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 Surely the poo falling through the air in the Japanese toilets would create heat due to air resistance, breaking down oxygen into O radicals, which would then react to produce ozone, poisoning us all and causing global warming? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arab_freak Posted July 30, 2006 Author Share Posted July 30, 2006 Surely the poo falling through the air in the Japanese toilets would create heat due to air resistance, breaking down oxygen into O radicals, which would then react to produce ozone, poisoning us all and causing global warming? Nah, I think their toilets have built-in air conditioning, so your ass stays cold no matter what you do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BGS Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 That wouldn't be Cleaveland steaming chest-poop by any chance would it? It most definitely would be All I'm askin' you to do Is drop trou And squeeze out A Cleveland Steamer on my chest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supergrunch Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 Nah, I think their toilets have built-in air conditioning, so your ass stays cold no matter what you do. It's probably part of the Kyoto agreement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Konfucius Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 This topic is somewhere between genius and insanity. I like it I agree it matters how much you open the so-called "crack" but also what you eat is a big factor. If it's like this then you'll need a roll to clean it while normally you need a few papers. Also the amount is very important because the bigger the "output" the more will leave it's mark around the ass-crack. So my suggestion to save the rainforest is. Feed Americans with Japanese food and give them only Japanese portions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ninty 182 Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 What do people do when they're squeezing one out? My fave's are playing guitar, playing my DS or reading a book. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supergrunch Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 So my suggestion to save the rainforest is. Feed Americans with Japanese food and give them only Japanese portions. Dear God! You want wasabi in their drains? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eenuh Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 What do people do when they're squeezing one out? My fave's are playing guitar, playing my DS or reading a book. I just sit on the toilet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EEVILMURRAY Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 It would be better if you stopped calling it "pooping" we're not Yankyland inhabitants. We're British and we say Shit like most of the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
system_error Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 This topic turned out to be pretty childish and disgusting. Such things show a lot about the character of a person. I don't want to insult the thread starter so I stop typing now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCK Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 Personally, I think inserting a vacuum cleaner some inches deep and then have it vacuum your intestines clean is the best way to get maximum hygene and efficiency. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dabookerman Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 Yes, now everyone is talking about shit..SHIT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ninty 182 Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 I just sit on the toilet. freak! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solo Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 If anyone has read Maddox's The Alphabet of Manliness book then they'll know about the 'D is for Taking a Dump' section. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cube Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 Surely the poo falling through the air in the Japanese toilets would create heat due to air resistance, breaking down oxygen into O radicals, which would then react to produce ozone, poisoning us all and causing global warming? Also, heat does not break Oxygen down into O radicals, it's light energy that does that. Any oxygen-breakup due to heat would just cause it to react with something else straight away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supergrunch Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 Also, heat does not break Oxygen down into O radicals, it's light energy that does that. Any oxygen-breakup due to heat would just cause it to react with something else straight away. I think you'll find it can in some cases... why else do electric engines smell of ozone? I don't know the exact mechanism for the reaction... but surely infra-red could increase oxygen molecules by a particular quantised level causing homolytic fission just as much as ultra-violet can in the stratosphere... Anyway, the O radicals would react with other oxygen, forming ozone. Edit: Presumably you're aware that I was joking in my earlier post. Edit 2: With a bit of googling, I have discovered that oxygen radicals are produced by the electrical discharge, which then react via a mechanism to form ozone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arab_freak Posted July 30, 2006 Author Share Posted July 30, 2006 It would be better if you stopped calling it "pooping" we're not Yankyland inhabitants. We're British and we say Shit like most of the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EEVILMURRAY Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Was that what you had in mind for your intellectual post? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic.php?id=529847 You wrote that did you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rokhed00 Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic.php?id=529847 You wrote that did you? Thought it looked copied. Should have known better than to expect an original thought from a_f. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arab_freak Posted July 31, 2006 Author Share Posted July 31, 2006 You ALL know I always copy my stuff. http://www.revo-europe.com/forum/showthread.php?p=194841#post194841 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atomic Boo Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 oooohhhwayyyy! go moria i also thought this thread was a bit suspicious. evil has been un-done once again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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