The Bard Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 This is an article that I wrote for my school magazine. (Original Draft, second had to have some “modifications”) Ok, so as many of you would have guessed by now, I am a person that gets incredibly annoyed by pretty much anything and everything, so I thought I would create this thread so you all can share my misanthropy, or point and laugh, whichever you prefer, I don’t really give a crap. Things that make me angry: “Reality” TV: Don’t let the name fool you, “reality” TV, has absolutely nothing remotely to do with reality. It is not real. It is, in fact, un-real, but that’s really not fair because seeing as it actually exists, it defies both these labels, so you can feel free to ignore the past sentence. Honest to god though, “Reality” TV ruins people, and I mean the people involved just as much as the viewers, it’s just a testimony to people’s boring, unsatisfying lives that they need to go and pry upon others’. Television and entertainment is not supposed to be used as a means for shameless voyeurism! What happened to the family sitcom? What happened to good natured fun like Happy Days, The A Team, Sanford and son and M.A.S.H.? Why is real TV dying out to be replaced by these pointless hunts for the next worthless celebrity? It is sadistic, and harmful, Christ, will people go to any lengths? You see people on TV everyday, sacrificing their dignity for money and whatever half-assed, undeserved fame they might reap from it. The Celebrities of yesteryear were celebrities because they were important. The celebrities of today are important because they are celebrities. People: To be honest, I don’t think there’s anything I hate more than people in general, and I’m not talking about any specific type of person, well, maybe, if you’re counting Jehovah’s witnesses and lawyers, but they don’t really count as people do they? Honestly, why do people have to be so intruding all the time? I don’t necessarily care about whatever god you’re touting to be the real and true deity, and I certainly don’t give a fuck about your views on: abortion, society, euthanasia, religion and all religion based products, literature, my hair and however blasphemous I may be, sport, politics, and in fact, anything, I don’t care about your views on anything, so would you please go ahead and preach elsewhere, or am I going to have to install an automatic turret aimed at knee height on my porch? I swear, people are the plague of the earth, I hate them, and boy do I hate them good. Modern Rap: My god is there any real way to sound more like a pretentious jackass than Snoop Dog or 50 fucking cent? So he got shot 9 times, fucking hell, he really picks the most odd things to boast about, how’s about I add a tenth for good luck eh? Nobody cares how “gangsta” you are or claim to be, turns out that you’re just illiterate dumbasses who, despite being 30 years of age, are still completely unable to correctly pronounce basic English words. Also way to go, yes, I’m talking to you, you rampant infidels, what’s the deal with parking your car, winding down the windows and cranking up the stereo in your “ghetto mobile” real loud just so that everyone in the vicinity with an IQ over 75 doesn’t think you’re cool, and in fact, thinks you’re an absolute insult to this already embarrassing breed of mammals we call “humans.” Chavs: I don’t have the energy to go into this one because if I remind myself of all the reasons I might just go out hunting with a fishing knife, but let’s just say they should be the chief recipients of the Darwin awards. Cars: Cars….where to begin? The number of times I’ve seen some old goon, who, if nature had its way, would have died long ago, driving around town in his seven seater by himself, oblivious to the number of oxide emissions he’s letting off, is enough to make me want to go Bourne Identity on his ass with a ball pen. I hate the look of cars, I hate the smell, I hate their greyness and bland ness and the irreparable and invasive damage they do, from road kills to the developments of roads themselves. Do we need to cover all visible landscape with grey ugliness? The internal combustion engine is nigh on the single most evil invention spawned from human minds including nuclear armaments, concentration camps, automatic weapons, landmines, torture devices, the guillotine, and as I stated before, everything on the face of the earth. The Government: This has to be the obvious one doesn’t it? Since even normal people hate the government, some of you may be able to relate to this. I hate the government and its absolute refusal to do anything remotely useful. Bring back the days of druids and Vikings! The days when if someone had a heart failure due to the fat contents of your big Mac’s you said tough shit fucker! Your fault for being a fat bastard! The days when your wealth didn’t determine your “class” or what people thought of you (oh wait, my bad, those days never existed, how peachy for the human race). There are far too many reasons and I’m far to tired to go into them here. McDonalds, KFC, and every fast food corporation: Primarily it’s the fact that we are turning into a nation of fat, ugly good for nothing confoundits that have nothing better to accomplish in life than flaunt our material possessions and wonder if those oh-so-sexy hot pants actually are available in XXXXL. Another thing is the animal cruelty that occurs, are people forgetting that animals can in fact feel? That they’re capable of experiencing emotions such as fear or pain? The Education System: What is the last genuinely useful thing you learnt in school? The last truly brilliant thing I learnt was how to pull off a decently timed shoryuken with Ken on street fighter. Examiners today are hell bent on cramming every possible thing that can be tested into an exam. What is the point of creative writing? What do you gain from being able to cram a half assed story or description you conjured in an hour and a half into a four or five page essay? More importantly, how does it make you better as a person? Why are we being forced to waste the best years of our lives in school, learning things that we (mostly) won’t ever need, just so that at the end of the year we can reproduce them in an exam and gain, perhaps, a university entry that will allow us to earn some meagre wage so we can continue to live a politically correct, mediocre life, working as a slave to the £? Do what you want, be merry, because after all “the only things worth knowing cannot be taught.” Porn: To quote a great man “If you went ahead and took all the porn off the internet, I’m pretty sure there would only be one website left, and it’d be called ‘bring back the porn’ “ dear lord, are people this lonely and lacking in any imagination? Go and get a girlfriend, I’m pretty sure there’s about a 50:50 ratio of men to women in the world so to be painfully honest there’s not really any excuse except that you’re lazy and don’t want to work for it. This society has gotten far too used to being given everything on a silver platter without having to try and they’ve come to think that voyeurism like this is acceptable. It isn’t. There are oh so many more things that make me lose my faith in existence, but these are the ones that come immediately to mind. Do share.
Platty Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Things that make me angry.... The forums being down and red text.
James Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Obviously you dont drive, and cant see how great it is. Need to get beer. Just hop in the car. need to go to the LDV van final, hop in the car. Porn- Im sure alot of people who have a g/f also whack of to porn. That guy in Sex and the City did. While were at it. So what if McDonalds etc etc make fatty food, people know it's going to make them fat so its their own fucking fault. Reality TV - You can knock the TV off or change the channel and lets be honest its not everywhere. And my own rant Animal rights protesters are the biggest bunch of idiots ever, digging up graves. whoah!!! How big of you. Destroying peoples families and homes. Go get a fucking job.
Arragaun Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 I don’t care about your views on anything. Then why bother to make this thread asking us to share our views on things that we hate?
Hellfire Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Modern Rap (yo yo bitch chicka chicka bow bow, check mah bling bling before I bust a cap in yo ass hoe), Wrestling, Wrestling fans (yes I know a lot of you are :P ) and stupid people.
Meik Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 I don’t necessarily care about whatever god you’re touting to be the real and true deity, and I certainly don’t give a fuck about your views on: abortion, society, euthanasia, religion and all religion based products, literature, my hair and however blasphemous I may be, sport, politics, and In fact, anything, I don’t care about your views on anything, so would you please go ahead and preach elsewhere, or am I going to have to install an automatic turret aimed at knee height on my porch?Yes, this is good advice. It's a shame you don't follow it.
Fresh Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Hummmmmm.... thing that make me angry... Its got to be things that go mainstream and sell out; 24, Scrubs, The Artic Monkeys.
Sarka Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 People who are horribly immature. Who stcik the finger up from the back of a chair or shout "John is queer" as they leave the bus. It is so horribly annoying! Things like that make me want to kill - or people shouting crap or immatating disabled people, so annoying! Education - the way teachers are not strict enough. They really don't take responsibility. For example, there is a boy in our class who has behavioral problems. Fair enough. But leaving him in a room where he throws book, pointy objects and fights people is a bad idea. People could get hurt or anything. He also says that he doesn't want to learn anything - yet instead of putting him out of class or making him do work all they do is let him sit there doing nothing but distracting others. It's ridiculous! Sorry for any spelling mistakes, I type faster when I'm annoyed.
Haver Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Your grievances are immature and often wrong, and you will grow and disregard them with time, but I'm almost sure immature is your target audience so the article should go down a storm.
Colin Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Things that make me angry.... The forums being down and red text. haha.............I've been waiting for someone to mention his red text. Sometimes I can't bring myself to read his posts on the oldskool black background.
triforcemario Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Education - the way teachers are not strict enough. They really don't take responsibility. For example, there is a boy in our class who has behavioral problems. Fair enough. But leaving him in a room where he throws book, pointy objects and fights people is a bad idea. People could get hurt or anything. He also says that he doesn't want to learn anything - yet instead of putting him out of class or making him do work all they do is let him sit there doing nothing but distracting others. It's ridiculous! Thats why, in my opinion, the cane, because when that was around, there was very little bullying, or dissing, or anything like that.
Arragaun Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Thats why, in my opinion, the cane, because when that was around, there was very little bullying, or dissing, or anything like that. Yes but forcing people to conform isn't the right way about it. People need to choose to conform in order to really get along with each other.
Fresh Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Oh another thing that makes me mad, anything that ends in ...ism (eg, racism, there is just no point)
Athriller Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Your grievances are immature and often wrong, and you will grow and disregard them with time, but I'm almost sure immature is your target audience so the article should go down a storm. I have to agree with this. A lot of your points seem really anal and pointless, and trust me, I know. I used to hate the stupidest of shit, and now I look back, and think, why? It's so easy to hate anything, but so much more rewarding to be indifferent.
Zell Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Animal Rights Protesters - why do they exist?! Vegetarians/Vegans - Some people are so stupid. We are not equal to the animals, humans are superior to animals. It's called the food chain people: meat -> us. What do you think we were given canines for then? To help ingest grass? And vegans are completely retarded. Still at least they won't become... Fat people - STOP EATING YOU FAT BASTARDS! Religion in general - It has deprived people of their individualism. "You shouldn't use condoms because the Pope said you shouldn't." Have your own opinions for once. Football analysts - They know nothing. Just because you played for Liverpool once does not make you a good pundit.
Haver Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Oh another thing that makes me mad, anything that ends in ...ism (eg, racism, there is just no point) EVEN NEOFUNCTIONALISM? YOU ANIMAL!
The Bard Posted June 30, 2006 Author Posted June 30, 2006 Then why bother to make this thread asking us to share our views on things that we hate? Well, I wasn't talking about your views Arragaun, as it is of course known, I love your opinions on everything. Your grievances are immature and often wrong, and you will grow and disregard them with time, but I'm almost sure immature is your target audience so the article should go down a storm. Aye, I suppose that may be the case as I am only 17, but would you care to explain why they are "immature and often wrong?" I don't entirely think It's fair to say that just because you disagree with them. Obviously you dont drive, and cant see how great it is. Need to get beer. Just hop in the car. need to go to the LDV van final, hop in the car. Porn- Im sure alot of people who have a g/f also whack of to porn. That guy in Sex and the City did. And my own rant Animal rights protesters are the biggest bunch of idiots ever, digging up graves. whoah!!! How big of you. Destroying peoples families and homes. Go get a fucking job. I do drive, and it ain't all its cracked up to be. I'd much rather walk, and do something useful with my time than concentrate on the road ahead. The only reason I ever drive is if im lugging my amp around or need to transport 3-5 people. Well, whoopdedoo for "that guy in sex and the city." I agree with the animal rights protestors thing. haha.............I've been waiting for someone to mention his red text. Sometimes I can't bring myself to read his posts on the oldskool black background. Really? Is it that bad, ah well, I type in red on all forums I go on, and nobody anywhere else has any problem with it. This is the only forum I've ever been on where people don't customise their colour, etc...
Jimmy3000 Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 1. Modern Music: Modern rap is terrible, like some hiphop but most is complete trash singing about pimps and ho's or whatnot. Even most of the decent hiphop artists are swaying the way of just wanting to make money. hard rock, bands like slipknot etc, kudos to you if you like it but i dont see anything musical about it, its like my dog barking in the mornin when it wants me to let it out. Commercial dance: its crap, all the adverts for "clubland" cd's and gatecrasher etc, if these tunes actually came on in a proper club people would be pissed. Indie: like quite a few bands etc, but seriously, they all sound the same. Bring on ray Charles and Sam Cooke i say... 2. Political correctness and red tape, need i say more? 3. Hollywood films, granted there are quite a few good films that come out but there is so much crap its not even funny, fast and the furious etc and remakes of classic horror films (cant belive they are remaking the wikerman and setting it in the US with i think nicolas cage starring...). Best films these days are the kids ones like over the hedge. new pirates film looks awesome though. 4. People who walk slow. 5. WWE (still like wrestling though, roh + noah!) 6. Benefits, unless you have some sort of a problem, mental or physical, get a bloody job you leeching wankers!!!!?!>!?! It took me a day to find a job when i got home from uni, i may be earning minimum wage but whos give a crap. 7. People who have a go at people for spelling wrong on forums, get f**ked m8.... thats all i can think of for now, and the bard, that porn quote is brilliant, who said it?
Shino Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Aye, I suppose that may be the case as I am only 17, but would you care to explain why they are "immature and often wrong?" I don't entirely think It's fair to say that just because you disagree with them. Because it's extreme, and extremes make me angry, and you wouldn't like me when I'm angry...
Haver Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 Aye, I suppose that may be the case as I am only 17, but would you care to explain why they are "immature and often wrong?" I don't entirely think It's fair to say that just because you disagree with them. When you grow and mature you begin to understand different cultures and value systems and you become tolerant. And as you are further educated and develop a tighter grip on your understanding of society these things won't be issues anymore.
The Bard Posted June 30, 2006 Author Posted June 30, 2006 Because it's extreme, and extremes make me angry, and you wouldn't like me when I'm angry... Well to be honest, it is for a column in my school magazine, and I had to make it entertaining and whatnot to the average 15 year old. Would you say it's an entertaining read? If so, then thats my job done. The things I've stated do annoy me, but perhaps not to the extent that I made them out to . When you grow and mature you begin to understand different cultures and value systems and you become tolerant. And as you are further educated and develop a tighter grip on your understanding of society these things won't be issues anymore. Well seeing as you're 18, you can't be that much more experienced or educated than me so I don't really see where you're coming from.
.thumb.jpg.63a7c435a99254f9a8496f1bf4e199f3.jpg)
Recommended Posts