Cube Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I would imagine that the "normal" action would be sex scenes in "normal" books. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnus Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Well that's what I mean. Why is there no friggin' middle ground? : o It's either "oooooh, we're so sexy, but we don't actually even have genitals" or "HULK FUCK YOU TO SMITHEREENS!" Where is all the "normal" action? Oh, Ville. You're so vanilla. Aneres will not approve. :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aneres11 Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Well, I can see why you were disappointed! I've seen raunchier stuff than that on HBO. It should have started with, like, light bondage or something and gotten kinkier and kinkier from there. Chapter two, he gags her. Chapter three, maybe some breath play. In chapter four, he asks her if she's ever heard of golden showers? And so on. Clearly she's never taken a creative writing class or she'd know that you need to build up to the really kinky stuff. Well all the things you mention are touched upon in the book. Book 1 even! So imagine my disappointment when NONE of it happens. Why isn't he making her hold her breath as he pisses all over her whilst she uses some form of toy? Haha how gross. But you see what I'm saying here. If you're gonna write filth, write FILTH! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnus Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Well all the things you mention are touched upon in the book. Book 1 even! So imagine my disappointment when NONE of it happens. Why isn't he making her hold her breath as he pisses all over her whilst she uses some form of toy? Haha how gross. But you see what I'm saying here. If you're gonna write filth, write FILTH! Hey, there's a vagina. I'd think that would be filthy enough for you. :p And I think the lack of filth is somewhat understandable when you consider that the author was probably just writing porn for herself. You'd need someone like Rokhed to write erotica to get the hardcore experience you're after, I think. "And then she put on her lace panties over her strap-on..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I think calling twilight porn for women is kindof insulting to women...It's porn for fools! What I mean is it panders to some basic elements of the female sexuality. Like regular porn panders to a basic element of male sexuality: the visual aspect (male sexuality is generally much more simplistic). Obviously sexuality is much more complicated than that, but the sexes each have basic elements, very likely rooted in their biology. I read a scientific article on it once. It's quite interesting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aneres11 Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 "And then she put on her lace panties over her strap-on..." This is pretty much what's needed yeah. Write some erotica Magnus! New creative gallery thread!! :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rummy Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 A joke, that I found funny! I saw a woman reading 50 Shades of Grey on the train today. "At least you don't have to lick your fingers to turn the pages" I said with a smile, "You disgusting wanker!" she screamed and stormed off down the carriage. Are all Kindle readers such miserable cunts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnus Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 This is pretty much what's needed yeah. Write some erotica Magnus! New creative gallery thread!! :p Don't tempt me! It'd be a story about a boy named Mark who discovers the world of kink with his friend Mike. It'd be called Fifty Shades of Gay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aneres11 Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Don't tempt me! It'd be a story about a boy named Mark who discovers the world of kink with his friend Mike. It'd be called Fifty Shades of Gay. You would be the obvious choice to write such a novel. But more importantly how the fuck do you know my name Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ville Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Don't tempt me! It'd be a story about a boy named Mark who discovers the world of kink with his friend Mike. It'd be called Fifty Shades of Gay. Haha, sounds like a best seller already! You should totally write something, maybe you could lure some new members into the forums as well... ; D You know, a little make-over for the site while you're at it: "N-Europe! Your number one site for all things Nintendo...and kinky gay erotica!" Or, we could make it a group effort (...), something in the lines of the forum telephone game... xD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent Gibbs Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Totally agree dannyboy! I made a mistake several years ago, in an effort to be nice to my girlfriend i offered to take her to see twilight. It was a terrible film, and quite obviously aimed at women's romanticized view of romance, mixed with some submissive sexual elements, and of course she loved it. I've now suffered threw each one and each one has become progressively worse The second was based on a romanticised view of being chased by two different men, the third was quite blatantly a romantasied view of marriage, given that the first full hour was the wedding followed by honeymoon before anythign that constituted as a plot revealed itself My understanding is the 4th deals with children.... As for 50 shades of utter shite, i bought it for her and had it left at my house, she isn't that bothered for it and hasn't got into it, but i tried to read some of it to see what all the fuss was about..... i managed 10 pages and it was so badly written i'm surprised it wasn't done by a d-grade highschool student as a writing exercise the day before hand in! They are however both a variety of "pornography" for women, they explore sexual elements but also provide "emotional porn" (best description i can think of) where it serves to excite various base desires of a woman On there own i don't have a problem with Twillight/50 shades, as long as i don't myself have to read them, however what i do have a problem with is that because they are so popular they are portrayed as literary masterpieces and revered by people as master pieces of film, and THAT really winds me up, the fact you could ask most people to name great books of all time and they would mention one of these before true masterpieces like Shakespeare, that's assuming the type of person who reads them even knows who he is Popularity does not equal excellence! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cube Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 The fourth one involves the vampire ripping open the girl's stomach to save the baby, who can talk like an adult human. The warewolf then instantly falls in love with the baby and marks her as his mate. And the baby is immortal but won't age past 16 or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beast Posted July 31, 2012 Author Share Posted July 31, 2012 Or, we could make it a group effort (...), something in the lines of the forum telephone game... xD I was actually going to post this! Great minds, eh? I think N-E should write their very own erotica novel and publish it...seriously, we should...I even have the perfect name for it too... FIFTY SHADES N-EED (I'm pretty sure @Aneres11 will get the reference anyway :p) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnus Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Haha, sounds like a best seller already! You should totally write something, maybe you could lure some new members into the forums as well... ; D You know, a little make-over for the site while you're at it: "N-Europe! Your number one site for all things Nintendo...and kinky gay erotica!" Let's face it, kinky gay erotica is the best kind of erotica. You would be the obvious choice to write such a novel. But more importantly how the fuck do you know my name I can't very well write a book about you if I don't know your name, now can I! "Mark gasped. A strap-on? But... wasn't that a bit redundant when they both had penises? He didn't dare broach the subject as he silently watched Mike struggle to fit the strap-on over his erect penis." This thing practically writes itself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aneres11 Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Ok Magnus - it's time you came out the closet. This is all too comfortable for you. It's ok. We don't judge. :p But if you could keep the gay erotica coming and maybe just change the names (it's too weird), I'd appreciate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fierce_LiNk Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I took a sneaky peak at this book whilst getting something from Tescos. It really is an appalling piece of fiction. So terribly written, structured and organised. It should be seen as an embarrassment to the whole medium that this book has sold as many copies as it has. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnus Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 (edited) Ok Magnus - it's time you came out the closet. This is all too comfortable for you. It's ok. We don't judge. :p But if you could keep the gay erotica coming and maybe just change the names (it's too weird), I'd appreciate it. For some reason, now I'm imagining your plan being to go through Fifty Shades of Grey with a marker and changing all of the names. "He held Anastasia Mark down and looked deeply into her his eyes. He kissed her him on the lips and worked his way down to her his ample bosom. He could feel the scent of Anastasia's Mark's vagina and it drove him mad." And then having your plans ruined when the sex wasn't up to par. :p Edited July 31, 2012 by Magnus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killer kirby Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 Perhaps it's actually wrong to compare them to regular literature - we wouldn't compare a porn to regular films, now, would we? Heck I wouldn't even compare these books to the instruction manuals you get in Video Games. There is one curious thing about this - the complete lack of age ratings when it comes to books. They do need to be rated but for books like this and twilight I would put an R for Retarded rating on them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diageo Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 Listening to bits from this book just makes me feel awkward. I don't like reading things like this unless Ash Ketchum is in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EEVILMURRAY Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 I was actually going to post this! Great minds, eh? I think N-E should write their very own erotica novel and publish it...seriously, we should...I even have the perfect name for it too... FIFTY SHADES N-EED (I'm pretty sure @Aneres11 will get the reference anyway :p) I'm down with that. We can have ReZ doing illustrations. For the kids. The first draft. Jayne could feel her bra pushing against her breasts as her nipples began to swell, as well as the damp sensation between her legs as her clit started bulging. Gabriel didn't mind in the slightest that he was starting to lose the feel of friction as he rammed his cock inside her. It was a sign that Jayne was really wet. He considered it a moist badge of honour, this meant he could last longer and he started making a mental list of things he was going to do to her with the extra time... To be CUNTinued... And that was writing non-stop, simply letting the creative juices flow. I'm sure with actual effort it could be better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnus Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 Jayne her clit started bulging. Wait, they do that? So, it's like a... girl boner? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EEVILMURRAY Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 I can see my book is going to be very educational for you. Catch it in all major bookstores as soon as I inspect ReZ's clit illustration swatch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnus Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 I'll learn so much about a vaginas. Not sure if that's a good thing or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EEVILMURRAY Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 You can read the first few chapters and see if you can handle the knowlege responsibly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cube Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 Listening to bits from this book just makes me feel awkward. I don't like reading things like this unless Ash Ketchum is in it. So paedophilia porn books are fine? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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