jayseven Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 While we're all fairly agreed that, much like we are quick to say 'oh I have a rather broad taste in music,' we behave differently depending on the situation and, more importantly, who we're with. The easiest boundaries to define are those between friends, family and work. Different spheres that may cross-over but ultimately your relationship is defined by an element of power and control -- work has control of you, pays you, so you must behave. Family are always there so you can kinda get away with anything - but because they're always there you may as well behave a bit better as you'll be seeing them a lot. Friends come and go but ultimately you know eventually you'll leave them and go 'home' and any charade you've put on to be liked by them may be dropped eventually. While different friends may draw different elements of your personality out, there's still some semblance you you in the culmination of all facets -- indeed, perhaps the only way to know yourself is to try to experience as many different versions of you by encountering and stretching and fracturing. BUT! This thread, really, wants to ask one important question; how you are you on the forums? Is this a place where you talk as if you were talking to your mother? Do you share secrets in here because you know your closest ones will never see it, or are the people on here in fact those closest to you? Personally, having been here for aeons, this forum is a part of me. Those close to me know about the place, and the place knows about me. This forum ultimately shaped my life and thus I try to be as open and honest and as true to my self on here as I am in real life. More later from me - for you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rummy Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 (edited) Definition of you. (it's the period at the end) Me on these forums? I'd say I'm pretty me. In line with the previous ego stroking, I like to try and think I'm pretty consistent across the board with all my social company(even though maybe I'm not, and note I say social not familial). With family, I swear much less, but the words mean nothing and the bluntness/harshness is there all the same, maybe even more so cos I can't even express as I usually would. On the forums, well, I'd like to think I'm pretty much me. However, much like yourself, this forums in part ARE me. Memeber since....4 and a half years now? Go to the meets, reference it in social conversation etc, it's very much a part of me. Maybe, except when drinking/in annoying mafias, I again don't swear as much as I do casually in every day conversation, but I'd say excepting that I'm still pretty me. You tell me though, you met me *IRL OMG*....was I any different to what you expected from the forums? Edited June 14, 2011 by Rummy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted June 14, 2011 Author Share Posted June 14, 2011 I promise you when I menopause you'll miss the threads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 I feel I'm more open and honest in here than in real life. Because of the distance, you don't fear the repercussions of radical ideas or opinions as much, and it allows for more freedom. That being said, I actively try to be as open and honest as I can with everyone I know. I don't like hiding facets of my personality to anyone. But of course, I believe we all have our secrets. Nobody truly knows the true you, with all its dark corners, rugged edges and scratches in the paint, as you do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rummy Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Actually, yeah, I probabaly was/is/am more open on here generally than I am with my regular company, but that's cos there's no repercussions. There's still a sliver of me that's still closed now, possibly because Marcamillian is also on the forums now, but tbh I don't think I know anyone IRLOMG that knows more about me than him so even that doesn't matter. I just can't bitch about him like I used to back in the days :p But of course, I believe we all have our secrets. Nobody truly knows the true you, with all its dark corners, rugged edges and scratches in the paint, as you do. Weird thing is, those like...core things my regular company don't know about me, some forumers like jay, do. I guess nobody has the whole big universal picture, though. In fact, I think it's something I desperately try to avoid anyone having, yet I'm not even sure I could vocalise why if I had to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beast Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 I'm the same on here as I am in real life. I'm always honest about what I like and hate, my views on things never differ but obviously, I don't tell you guys my deepest secrets but then I don't tell anyone else either. I'm all me in this forum, what you see is me in real life. If you get along with me, I'll get along with you. If you don't get along with me, I'll try to get along with you and if nothing works, I'll just leave you to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Falcon_BlizZACK Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 I just do me - no need for an alternate persona, or for that matter an alternate persona within the company of different people or environs. I don't know what it is, perhaps the focus gained from practicing martial arts etc, but I feel happy within and expressing myself wholely just makes me feel totally honest as a person. Theres just one life to live - there's no time for insecurity and holding back, I feel. You are unique - Just be you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Peeps Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 I don't pretend to be anything I'm not on here. I don't claim anything about my life that isn't true or whatever. I don't think I hold back any of my personality in my posts but I don't really post anything where too much would come out... if that makes sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted June 14, 2011 Author Share Posted June 14, 2011 Rummy - you were as I expected you to be irl as online - awesome :P What you say strikes a chord though -- in many (most) ways, people on here know more about me than most people in my life, which is why I've enjoyed the meets and not felt uncomfortable in anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EddieColeslaw Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 I think I'm pretty much the same on here as irl, not that talkative and moderately reserved with my opinion mainly because I don't articulate well. I enjoying reading (and mafia-ing) more than talking, but I do jump in sometimes when I feel strongly about the topic at hand. Rummy has it right, it's probably more accurate to ask an ~IRL person~ to comment on your "you"-ness on the forum than evaluating yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paj! Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 I'm the same on here as I am with several people, most notably Chair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 I don't think I hold back any of my personality in my posts but I don't really post anything where too much would come out... if that makes sense. I think I know exactly what you mean (or maybe I don't, but it still feels relevant); I think it's an art in itself to know when to hold back and just observe instead of blurting out stuff. Much understanding (I hesitate to say wisdom) can be gained this way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coolness Bears Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 I'm the same here as I am In real life. Accept in real life I'm a little crazier! Oh, but I don't give much away about my life. Ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Peeps Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 It's easy to act yourself on here but not so easy to freely come out with personal stuff. In the right context I'd probably mention things about myself, as a reference or in support or something, but I probably wouldn't start a thread in the way Esequiel did if I had something like that going on - something I applaud him for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bard Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 I think my arc over the time I've been here has left me perhaps a slightly more sympathetic character than I started off as. Or maybe its all in my head. I think recently I've made an effort to come across as I really am, although with the limitations of text in mind. Weirdly, even though recently I've spent less time on these boards, there are people on here who I like to think I'm "friends" with, alhough it might be difficult to tell since I think I have a bit of a dry manner at times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diageo Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 HeroJan, get in here and describe me. Because I like to type full sentences, and be grammatically correct, people say my online version is cold and robotic. I don't type like I talk. When in real life, I can be pretty blunt and harsh but I'm always smiling so you at least feel a little easier about it. But in written format that doesn't carry very well. I don't play someone else, this is just how I type. If someone says something I disagree with, I don't tend to get into a big meaningful debate about it because it's too much effort. But here you can just leave a post, let it fester, and really think about what you are saying. You can get the argument all out as best as possible. Also, with people I know, there are repercussions to complaining about things or being blunt. But here, most of the time I don't really know the person so I don't hold back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chairdriver Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 (edited) It's difficult to give a proper/comprehensive answer, because every post I make is a discrete event, and the way I carry/present myself in that moment depends on the circumstance. I feel, my Twitter feed is a relatively good portrayal of me, because I just natter away on that, 70% of the time it's just a stream of consciousness, so isn't constructed in the same way that a forum post is, but then, at the same time, it's difficult to get a bearing on a person from reading the things they type. I mean, my nickname in first year was Carol Smilie, because I was Scottish, and smiled all the time, and I was stunned by the reference to a glorious woman I had forgotten existed, so I propagated it to a slight extent, but I don't think I come off as a smilie person when you read my posts. I like to play. With phrasing/words/lyrics etc. But then, that sounds like it's more of a thing than it is. Like.. I prefer twisting a tale than typing in conventional language, but not so much that I go out of my way to do it. If that makes sense? And with ideas. Often I think "Should I post this?" [mostly on my FB page] "Will people understand?", and about 55% of the time I post it anyway, mostly to stony silence. But you learn to deal, because once you convince yourself that other people are things to bounce yourself off of, you have so much stride to do things with. shut up. But yeah, it's just like: If you want me, meet me at Electric Chapel. I don't seek to attract attention, [well, I do, but only from select people. Like, I'm CrestFallen if Paj! doesn't read a stunning post I've made, or if one of my friends I care about doesn't see a stunning set of tweets I've made] and I'm kinda over how on occasions threads have somehow become gravitated around me, or my political views, or my face, or whatever, when it feels uncalled for. But that said, I'm not the kinda person to steer a conversation away from something relevant to myself, since I'm ego-centred like that. I am the sun / my hair. I think the internet amplifies my egocentricity. Because many members of the forum are just rectangles of grey that post things which I skim read. (Lol! No, that's a genuinely bad thing to say, since I actually do read most member's posts, and like how there's obvious Playable Characters, and obvious people that set you quests when you enter the Weapons Shop), where in real life, you have much more pronounced interaction with people, namely through eye contact / touch / conversation / bitching etc etc. Basically, I'm a horrendously bad freeverse poet with induced radical politics which I rarely live, and which I present with a kitsch dose of contradiction and ridiculousness. Simultaneously I'm an informed and empowered and concerned member of society, who gives a shit about things I give a shit about, with a sense of humour that's divorced from that of most, but still from time-to-time takes me by the hand and leads me through life. I'm optimistic in people I have faith in, and pessimistic in all others, including myself -- people say to me that they think I'm self-confident, but they only ever see me carrying out trivial performance, so what do they know?. Finally, as you can tell by the length of this post, I'm self-involved, because, ultimately, this is me, sitting in a room, on my own, corresponding with bytes. This is me... then, and I'm better than you. Edited June 15, 2011 by chairdriver Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 I'm not a paedophile in real life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Razz Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 I guess I'm different here than I am in real life. I don't let much on as I feel at the end of the day, this is a forum and I have a strange conservative outlook on how I should portray myself in public domain (although I'm probably chatting shit as I'm sure somewhere there are posts by me being outrageous/maybe not.) People on here do know me though, and I'm content with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shorty Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Full stop at the end of a title... don't you have an English degree? :p I think I'm pretty much like Shorty irl. A bit quieter, a bit less confrontational, but equally bitter and sarcastic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted June 15, 2011 Author Share Posted June 15, 2011 Why is everyone suddenly so obsessed with the full stop now?! It's my coloured-text, my double-spaced sentences! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paj! Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 They add. I have a guy on facebook who always does his statuses like this - . Watching Die Hard in a bit. I'm excited. It makes me so much more interested in the actual status, as though it has relevance to my life now the full-stop and space has diffrentiated it from the norm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 I'm not who I portray myself to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Actually, it's quite interesting. I've noticed this whole idea of changing personas in myself recently. Most notably with one particular friend. He'd talk in a fairly culchie accent so whenever I'm around him I find myself speaking more like him. As in, more "Irish". I think my taste in music has also been broadened. As you'd expect, he's into very Irish trad. Of course, I now find the music tolerable...even enjoyable. In fact, I just listened to this song 3 minutes ago. It's very interesting. I think it's because I see him as "cool" so by talking like him etc. I'll be "cool" too. I've no idea where I'm going with this message. Have I mixed up this thread with another? I originally wrote out a much better message but it was on my iPod...pressed the wrong button by accident...gone Whatever. I think I'm the same on these forums. Or maybe I'm the person in my head. No boundaries and all that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan_Dare Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 I think I'm quite adaptive like that. I quickly pick up slang and stuff from friends and my accent has been known to change from living with a bunch of southerners at uni! Hopefully that means I'm empathetic rather than a hollow, soulless shell merely pretending to be human Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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