Sheikah Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Does anyone notice how the conversation over the last couple of pages has revolved around someone being too nice and apparently losing the girl for it? Remind you of anything I've said in this thread before? I jest... Funny that, being nice doesn't attract assholes.
MoogleViper Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Remind you of anything I've said in this thread before? So you're saying that if yesteryear wanted a nice, single girl, then he should have gone after a nice, single girl?
Charlie Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 It seems to me that she is a nice single girl who decided, unfortunately for yesteryear, that he wasn't the one for her. She then got a bit freaked out by a lot of messages? No ones an asshole there, just people being people. Everyone is tempted to text and text again in those situations, I've done it myself an had people to it to me. He said himself that he should've held back a bit and that he was too nice or the nice guy.
yesteryeargames Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 (edited) Have that horrid feeling of guilt inside, The thought of me making someone upset or uneasy with all the messeages i sent will haunt me for some time its just not in my nature to hurt people, glad i sought advice on here when i did i was thinking with my heart and not my brain. Oh well, I had a nice productive day, got a lot of things done, starting to move on. Edited March 3, 2012 by yesteryeargames posted an earlier saved draft by mistake.
Ellmeister Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 So you sent one more message after saying that was it earlier? Dude, too many messages. It does start to sound borderline stalkery.
Paj! Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Can someone tell @Frank (I can't remember how to tag people) to clear out his stored private messages? Thanks eerone. Or give me his facebook.
MoogleViper Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Can someone tell @Frank (I can't remember how to tag people) to clear out his stored private messages? Thanks eerone. Or give me his facebook. Is there a reason that you've posted that in this thread? (also visitor messages)
EddieColeslaw Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 Aww, you should have bought the oldest and dinkiest car you could find and cruised around his neighborhood. He wouldn't have been able to resist the car! Oh well. Fixed it for you -- I'm going to bring some disgusting/self-centred positivity into this thread! My (long distance, yes it can totally work) bf sends me his writing exercises for college sometimes, and he mentions me in them as his fiancée So cute! We kind of reached a new level of understanding/openness recently. Five more months until I go to visit him! Everyone (@yesteryeargames)! Don't lose heart! Don't waste your time on girls/people who discourage you. If you drop it but you were actually "meant" to be together, she'll get in touch again and become the pursuer. Otherwise, don't ruminate and bring yourself down about it. There are so many people and friends and potentials partners in the world to meet : peace: /inspirational anime
yesteryeargames Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 (edited) Dont think there will be any chance of that with this one, and im not sure i would take her back after the way i was treated , I did love her but i dont feel i could trust her again and get close to have my heart torn into bits again. Problem i have it i dont go out drinking, and even if i did the types you get there are not usually the sort of girls i go for. Leaves me with options of meeting someone by chance, at a new activity, or online dating which i have not had much luck with in the past, im not looking to join any again just yet but which free ones would you reccomend ? Im in no rush to get back dating for the sake of it, will have some time to myself but for the future what would you reccomend. Edited March 3, 2012 by yesteryeargames
Retro_Link Posted March 3, 2012 Posted March 3, 2012 and he mentions me in them as his fiancée So cute!... Is it?Im in no rush to get back dating for the sake of it, will have some time to myself but for the future what would you reccomend.How did you meet this last girl? Online? You should hook up with @Serebii for a night out! Ah sod it! I'm no better... lets all go for a N-E night out! :p
Paj! Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Is there a reason that you've posted that in this thread? (also visitor messages) It just felt the most conversational. And...yes that would have made sense...
Sheikah Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 It seems to me that she is a nice single girl who decided, unfortunately for yesteryear, that he wasn't the one for her. She then got a bit freaked out by a lot of messages? No ones an asshole there, just people being people. Everyone is tempted to text and text again in those situations, I've done it myself an had people to it to me. He said himself that he should've held back a bit and that he was too nice or the nice guy. I get the impression that she entirely led him on, then dumped him via text message. And I can honestly say, I've had one terrible relationship and one (current) wonderful relationship; this kind of (somewhat manipulative) behaviour definitely sounds like a leaf from my terrible one. The whole 'you sent too many messages' vibe he's getting from all the agony aunts is way off. If she had just been straight with him from the beginning then it wouldn't have happened. Trust me yesteryear, when you find a nice lady there certainly won't be any games being played.
Haden Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 It seems to me that she is a nice single girl who decided, unfortunately for yesteryear, that he wasn't the one for her. She then got a bit freaked out by a lot of messages? No ones an asshole there, just people being people. Everyone is tempted to text and text again in those situations, I've done it myself an had people to it to me. He said himself that he should've held back a bit and that he was too nice or the nice guy. lol have you heard this? We have all been there but this is bad lol. http://soundcloud.com/vaughan-1-1/this-is-what-crazy-looks-like?utm_source=soundcloud&utm_campaign=mshare&utm_medium=facebook&utm_content=http%3A%2F%2Fsoundcloud.com%2Fvaughan-1-1%2Fthis-is-what-crazy-looks-like
EddieColeslaw Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 I get the impression that she entirely led him on, then dumped him via text message. And I can honestly say, I've had one terrible relationship and one (current) wonderful relationship; this kind of (somewhat manipulative) behaviour definitely sounds like a leaf from my terrible one. The whole 'you sent too many messages' vibe he's getting from all the agony aunts is way off. If she had just been straight with him from the beginning then it wouldn't have happened. Trust me yesteryear, when you find a nice lady there certainly won't be any games being played. She mightn't have been intentionally leading him on, maybe she was still trying to decide how she felt about him or figuring out what to do. We'll never know what was going on inside her head, but sometimes people honestly don't know what they're doing, as in they're not conscious of it. More actions result from absent-mindedness or stupidity rather than pure maliciousness, I believe. Though I agree with the last line!
Sheikah Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Even if it took her a while to 'know', eventually she clearly did know. But instead of dealing with it reasonably she just ignored him and then eventually dumped him via text. That's what I mean by the person seeming to be a bit of an asshole.
yesteryeargames Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 (edited) Yep i think you guys are right she led me on for as long as possible to see if her feelings would change, it would have been kinder to just have been honest earlier on, The fact that she just gave me a cold shoulder, joined dating site before even dumping me, then just 1 short text was a bit harsh. I tried to contact her and asked if we could simply meet up for a coffee and a chat and work through any issue or at least say goodbye in person, no reply! then i simply asked if i could call her to, no reply! i did not once try to phone her mobile or house number since she dumped me, i value people's privacy with stuff like that. I did not want to push things i stopped texting her, i decided to try and contact her on facebook. sent 4 or 5 messages over a week on facebook just seeking some closure. Then i went on here for some advice, and decided to try and send 1 last message to say goodbye,thanked her for the time, ect and i just asked if she could let me know she read it and that there were no ill feelings on my part, i said i was sorry for sending so many messages before and that this would be the last time i contacted her. How hard of it would it have been to reply to that one in a mature way ? Anyway im left feeling with a horrid feeling of guilt about the whole thing, that i will be rememberd by her for the breakup and sending too many messages or a stalker :S , rather than being a nice guy who she didnt want to be with, I admit i sent too many ,i was hurt and confused, i even said sorry for doing so and that i would stop ! but she didnt help the situation by being rude and ignoring me the whole time when it could have been put to bed before all this happend. But good news is that im starting to move on, starting have a laugh with my family and friends again, been very distant with them the past week and not myself, Feel i can start to be a good guy again in life , i have learned from all this not to take crap of anyone anymore!. I thank you guys on here for taking the time to offer some advice. Edited March 4, 2012 by yesteryeargames
Diageo Posted March 4, 2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Fuck her. Who cares what she remembers you as. She's not worth your time or thoughts. There's no reason to feel guilty. She's the one that should feel guilty. All those messages or not, she decided she no longer wanted to be with you, probably for a while even before she broke up with you. Your texts made no difference, they only hurt you in the end.
yesteryeargames Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 (edited) Gah this has been a hard week, all this + i tore my cartalidge in my knee and will need surgary no more sports for a few months and the iceing on the cake i lost my wallet with over £100 in it and all my cards, oh well sh!t happens. Edited March 5, 2012 by yesteryeargames
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted March 5, 2012 Posted March 5, 2012 Man, this really has been a shit week for you. I hope things turn around soon!
Serebii Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 So, it's been a while since I bummed you guys out with my abject failure. Have been improving a lot. In social situations, I've become more outgoing, chatting to strangers and so on and on nights out I am getting further...just no dryspell breaking yet. That said, I've put all plans to find a g/f and/or break the dryspell on hold as I'm going to have a busy couple of months and I need to not be distracted. So yeah, you're all caught up now.
EddieColeslaw Posted March 25, 2012 Posted March 25, 2012 That's not failure, that's life Your sociableness certainly doesn't sound like a failure.
Charlie Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 That said, I've put all plans to find a g/f and/or break the dryspell on hold as I'm going to have a busy couple of months and I need to not be distracted. You're far more likely to do it now as it always happens when you're least expecting it! Or at least it would've been more likely, until I jynxed it for you.
ReZourceman Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Oh well , she has now sent me a message saying im not interested in anything ,dont contact me again and unfriended me, all i said a couple of days ago before i took your advice was that i hoped we could be friends and sorry if i came on too strong ect And i left it at that. Makes me think she had found someone else or an EX, just wanted red of me , do feel sad lost a friend but also kind of glad its officially over , was nothing but a nice guy i made some mistakes i admit, but she led me on too then a week before all this happend revealed all that deep stuff to me,things were not the same after , treated me like crap when she wanted to end things ( joined a dating site before she even dumped me ) gave me a cold shoulder and 1 text later i was dumped . oh well thats the end of that. Dont need friends like that, its clear she had some issues looking back on it with my head and not my heart, who knows what could have happend if this had gone on for a while i could have got seriously used and hurt. Wish i took your advice and removed her from my friends list immediatly when you guys said but i wanted to try and maybe just be friends oneday i think im too nice for my own good. Lesson Learned, a hard one:( but life goes on feel wiser and i wont make the same mistakes if i find somone nice again , will be nice and gentleman thats who i am but not over do it think there is a fine balance between being too nice and a doormat or the complete opposite. I would text her one last message. "I want my Family Guy DVD back, you fucking cunt."
Serebii Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 You're far more likely to do it now as it always happens when you're least expecting it! Or at least it would've been more likely, until I jynxed it for you. Part of me is hoping that, but I really don't want it to happen. I have so much work coming in June that I don't need someone complaining that I'm not seeing her enough during it and that I should stop and see her
EddieColeslaw Posted March 26, 2012 Posted March 26, 2012 Part of me is hoping that, but I really don't want it to happen. I have so much work coming in June that I don't need someone complaining that I'm not seeing her enough during it and that I should stop and see her Solution: don't go out with someone who has codependency issues :p
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