Kurtle Squad

Love? Relationships? Boy girl stuff? Complaints and appraisals! Gifs be welcome.

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Thanks for the input. Just for the record, adoption is not really an option.

I just added something to my original post - whenever someone said that my son looks like me, I've been proud and happy. It's something that is valuable to me and would be totally lost if we got donor sperm.

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There's a whole conflux of issues about what both parties want, and what both parties will not compromise on – and there is the issue of a child's health at hand. I think you need to both see a therapist, together.

I would say it is a tad odd that the would consider a sperm donor as a primary option over adoption, while dismissing your desire to sire the child. You want another kid that you are both part of., and she wants to make another kid and ideally you are a part of... but that's not essential. Would she consider adopting? You've established that it's something you aren't keen on, but if she holds the same view I think her requests are completely unfair and unreasonable.

But yeah, I think this is above everyone's pay-grade and you both need to talk to a professional.

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Agreed, this is not something someone should decide. I was merely interested to know if I was being weird seeing an issue here or not.

Regarding adoption. This is both very time consuming, regulated, and it requires so much more than making a child artificially. And furthermore, adoption is basically the same as donor sperm for the father and then I would rather that the child was a least genetically hers. We have never spoken about adoption and mind that this is only worst case - that all 6 trials go wrong. My answer to her the other day regarding donor sperm was something like "I don't like that at all - but can't we at least wait till it may become relevant to discuss it? I may have changed my view at that point in time." She wanted to make the deal right away which I couldn't. She was furious after that.

In general, she worries a lot and overthinks a lot of stuff and wants to have a contingency plan right away whereas I in general would like to see how the first plan goes before deciding what to do next.

Edited by MindFreak
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I don't think you're being weird; there's a lot to process, you've both go to work through it and in time I'm sure you will. You guys will sort it out, maybe that reassurance is enough without committing to anything?

Good luck with the trials. May the odds be ever in your favour. 

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