Funeral.

[jayseven]

To die is a frightful thing. But to have lived and been forgotten is a much scarier thought for me.

 

In a morbid way, I hope that more people attend my funeral than my wedding - it would signify a life well lived, show that people were affected by my short spell of existence.

 

So yes, for me, my life is a success if more people attend my funeral than my wedding :P If my girlfriend reads this, then I've probably damaged my chances of getting married in the first place, which at least gives me more chance of being a success!

 

Anyway. Yeah. We've had a thread like this before but it was something I've been thinking about. I hate feeling pressured into living a 'successful' life based on what someone else thinks. Considering at the end of all this there's nothing, that any meaning to be found in life is given, it stretches me mentally and emotionally trying to justify my own life or the choices I make.

 

I've never been to a funeral. My aunt died just over a year ago, but she lived in australia so we couldn't make the actual service. Instead my mum and her sisters and a couple of cousins met up at a church and shared stories and read a prayer and everyone cried and I just sat there wishing I would cry too.

 

So yeah. Experiences? Opinions?

[Zechs Merquise]

Most human beings are like grains of sand on a beach. As the tide comes in millions are washed away and forgotten forever. Some people are more like rocks, they stick around and despite the tide eventually taking them out to sea they leave a lasting impression.

 

We all die, we all end up as a pile of dust and bones. But our deeds live on.

[Ashley]

I've only been to one funeral, my grandfather's. It's strange because I didn't cry because of what happened but seeing my little brother (the self-acclaimed 'hard one' of the family) crying set me off. Last time I really had a proper cry I believe (and that was back in 08) but anyway...yeah that's the only one I've been to. And there was a comical mishap on the way (the Hearst taking us broke down on route) so it was...weird.

 

My own funeral I haven't thought much about. I'd like to have made an impact in some manner, as in had something I've made actually be noticed by someone :p That's about the extent of my desire so far.

 

I've also decided I want the following song played because it's kind of melancholic but happy (unless I die in about 70 years time and my musical taste may have changed):

 

[nightwolf]

I've been to 3 funerals in the last couple of years, my grandmas who passed away two years ago, my grandad's a year or so before that and then my nana's when I was 15.

 

I wasn't old enough to attend my mum's. Rightfully so!

 

Funerals can be awful things, they can be incredibly damaging and painful, you meet people you wouldn't normally, meet family you may never have had contact with and bring up things you'd normally never speak of.

 

But in other cases funerals, well the wake, can be lovely, my grandma's for instance, brought the family together, before that my family was very much divided, it was a nice chance to celebrate such a wonderful woman for us all.

 

 

The whole crying thing? I didn't at my nana's, it was pretty much a shock and I didn't break down til a year or so after, but sometimes there's not really a need, my grandad wasn't a huge part of my life and I never cried for him, I miss the old man, but sometimes its just not the right feeling.

 

My grandma's I cried like a giant baby, as my dad did an amazing speech, something that fell to him because of how tough it was. It still makes me bawl when I think of it!

 

My own funeral I never think about, I don't really know why, I mean sure I'm not scared of dying or such, I've just never really given it much thought.

[Dog-amoto]

I don't see why I should go to people's funerals.

 

It's not like they are going to attend mine.

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

I'm not awfully afraid of not leaving an impact. If the people in my life remember me in a positive light, that's enough for me. It means I've lived life well.

 

I admit I'm a bit vain, though. I'd love to know what people think of me after my death. How they'd react, what's said at my funeral.

[Diageo]

I've been to one funeral, when my grandfather died. When I saw him in the coffin and my family was crying I started balling too. That's the only funeral I ever went to. A lot of our family was there.

 

Regarding my own funeral, being the nihilist that I am, I couldn't care less. Whoever is still around can do whatever they want. Funerals are for the people who are still alive to feel better so it doesn't matter to me. I'm too dead to care. They can donate me to medical schools, or use me as compost, or use it as a handy way to get in the carpool lane. Whatever really. I don't want to be buried because that's just a waste of space.

 

Regarding being remembered, don't give a shit either. And seeing as there is no meaning to life, you can't waste your life, and so I don't worry about being successful or anything of that sort. I just do what makes me happy.

[Magnus]

I'm definitely voting for Jay for Most Depressing Member of the Year.

 

The sensible thing to do would be to fake your own death when you're so sick and/or old that you know you don't have long left. That way, you actually get a chance to enjoy your own funeral, and then you can travel to the Bahamas or whatever to await death.

[Daft]

All I know right now is that I want 'Nom nom nom' on my headstone. Not even joking.

 

Otherwise I'm not bothered at all about my own funeral. It's not for me. I want people to have fun, though. Sad funerals are way too mainstream.

[Jimbob]

Been to two funerals, my Nans and Grandads. Both within the space of 2 weeks of each other. That was terrible, mourning 1 loss then had to mourn another within weeks. Hadn't gotten over one, and it showed for a few weeks afterwards. Work noticed, so they gave me a written warning and attempted to get rid of me.

 

Didn't have open caskets for both, but they wer aweful. We followed my Nan into the church with everyone watching, i didn't like that at all. Didn't follow my Grandad in though, and we had two services for him as well (private family one and a public one)

 

As for my own funeral, i'm dead so see if i care. I just want everyone to have a huge party in my memory and i'd be happy.

[Paj!]

I won't go into my own thoughts Re: death - I'm sure many people here remember them in any case. I had terrible trouble dealing with the fragility of my own existence. Though that has obviously lessened as I leave teenager-hood.

 

I want a FUCKING huge funeral with hundreds of people all weeping over my passing/ celebrating my life...I want a statue of something brilliant instead of a headstone, I want music...STFU anyone who tries to plan a normal/standard funeral for me. Let me BELIEVE I'll go out with a bang.

[Josh64]

I'd love Thriller to be played at my funeral whilst I jump out of my coffin as a zombie and start dancing (which I've perfected thanks to Ubisoft shovelware) but sadly I doubt this would be possible and so... Well, I don't know. I've never actually thought about my funeral. I guess I don't care either, after all, I'll be dead. Though I wouldn't want an open casket, unless they put fake tan on me or something, I'm pale enough whilst alive.

[Frank]

Ah! This is one of my favorite(?) or probably a thought I love to ponder. Sometimes I'd love to die right now. Not in the morbid or suicidal way but more because I'd love to see the reaction!

 

Who would show up? Would there be a horribly depressing ambiance at school? Who would take it the worst? What would the speeches be?

 

Would N-E be informed of my passing? I'd love to read your reaction (I'm prepared for silly jokes after this.)

 

Yes, I sometimes feel I can be a horrible person. Bloody narcissism.

[ipaul]

This is weird actually as I've been recently thinking about who I mean enough to that they should turn up at my funeral. Oh and for now, I want this song played at my funeral:

 

[dan-likes-trees]

 

Been to too many funerals considering I'm still young-ish. Hoping to balance out the funerals - weddings inbalance (I've only been to one wedding) in the next next few years, touch wood.

 

And yeah I cry sometimes, depending on who's it is / whatever.

 

People who say they don't care about their own funeral? Pretty selfish. It's for the friends and family that are left as much as it's for the person who's died.

[nightwolf]

How is not thinking about your funeral selfish? I'm not going to plan it detail for detail at 20 years of fucking age.

 

:P

[Diageo]

I don't know what they want from a funeral. Let them make their own.

[dan-likes-trees]

How is not thinking about your funeral selfish? I'm not going to plan it detail for detail at 20 years of fucking age.

 

:P

 

No obvs, (and I only skimmed the thread, wasn't referring to anything said in thread, rhyme) just saying that when people say that their funeral isn't important then that's silly, as obviously it's important to others, I'm not saying anyone should be planning it or anything.

 

Don't think anyone really plans their own funeral anyway really? Aside from vaguely the type of funeral and maybe the coffin or whatnot.

[The Mad Monkey]

I've been to a few funerals, first couple were for distant relatives I don't ever remember, and I was quite young at the time, so just found them boring. The last one was for my best friend though, and that was just depressing. Fair enough his parents were his next of kin, and everything was done the way they wanted, the traditional way, but that's not what he would have wanted. A death should be commemorated by a celebration of the life that has passed, a party to remember and share the good times of the life, not sit around moping that you'll never see them again. That's what he would have wanted, and that's what I want, that's why I have made some vague plans for my own passing and told people that. I have the advantage of knowing that I'm probably more than half way through my life, that I'm unlikely to get to 40, but being fit and healthy doesn't mean you shouldn't at least think about what you'd want, it's no guarantee you won't get hit by a truck or something. Everyone is free to mourn the way they want, but when I die I want it to be marked by something I want, it may be selfish, but shouldn't the dead be allowed a selfish act.

[Rummy]

To die is a frightful thing. But to have lived and been forgotten is a much scarier thought for me.

 

In a morbid way, I hope that more people attend my funeral than my wedding - it would signify a life well lived, show that people were affected by my short spell of existence.

 

So yes, for me, my life is a success if more people attend my funeral than my wedding :P If my girlfriend reads this, then I've probably damaged my chances of getting married in the first place, which at least gives me more chance of being a success!

 

Anyway. Yeah. We've had a thread like this before but it was something I've been thinking about. I hate feeling pressured into living a 'successful' life based on what someone else thinks. Considering at the end of all this there's nothing, that any meaning to be found in life is given, it stretches me mentally and emotionally trying to justify my own life or the choices I make.

 

I've never been to a funeral. My aunt died just over a year ago, but she lived in australia so we couldn't make the actual service. Instead my mum and her sisters and a couple of cousins met up at a church and shared stories and read a prayer and everyone cried and I just sat there wishing I would cry too.

 

So yeah. Experiences? Opinions?

 

Agree alot. Not been to many funerals though, tend to manage to avoid them. Went with my dad to one last year for an old sort of friend that I didn't really know, not sure now why I did go.

 

 

I found it a bit hard sometimes. One man was making a speech and he just broke down, it really is hard to see a grown man cry. I think I'd struggle at a funeral, I'd empathise too much with people, it's not easy seeing people being sad and not becoming so myself.

 

 

Obviously people would be sad at a funeral, but I'd hope they were having a real good time in honour of me. I want my funeral to be a big party, I want all my friends to be happy and celebrating what I was, rather than what I no longer am, if that makes sense.

 

 

So yeah, if I die, there's a big party, and you're all invited.

 

I hope.

 

I've been to a few funerals, first couple were for distant relatives I don't ever remember, and I was quite young at the time, so just found them boring. The last one was for my best friend though, and that was just depressing. Fair enough his parents were his next of kin, and everything was done the way they wanted, the traditional way, but that's not what he would have wanted. A death should be commemorated by a celebration of the life that has passed, a party to remember and share the good times of the life, not sit around moping that you'll never see them again. That's what he would have wanted, and that's what I want, that's why I have made some vague plans for my own passing and told people that. I have the advantage of knowing that I'm probably more than half way through my life, that I'm unlikely to get to 40, but being fit and healthy doesn't mean you shouldn't at least think about what you'd want, it's no guarantee you won't get hit by a truck or something. Everyone is free to mourn the way they want, but when I die I want it to be marked by something I want, it may be selfish, but shouldn't the dead be allowed a selfish act.

 

Totally agree with that man. Hope I get thrown a party when I go, but I dunno...it's not really the 'done' thing.

[EddieColeslaw]

I've been to a Catholic funeral when I was really young, and my parents have told me about the Buddhist/Taoist-style funeral ceremonies of my grandparents, which are quite elaborate. I liked how everyone gathered in the house after the Catholic one and talked about the deceased, and kids weren't berated for playing. In other words, I think everyone wasn't forced to be sad, and that was nice. I wouldn't go for the church part out of anything other than to show respect, obviously, since I'm not religious.

 

I want to be cremated because being put into a coffin is just creepy, and I don't want a funeral if it's going to make everyone sad. It's too late to worry about being remembered at your funeral. You should, to echo the cliché, live every day as if it were your last. Funerals are like weddings, kind of...I could do without them (I mean, they're nice if they mean a lot to other people, but they don't mean much to me).

 

Regarding my own funeral, being the nihilist that I am, I couldn't care less. Whoever is still around can do whatever they want. Funerals are for the people who are still alive to feel better so it doesn't matter to me. I'm too dead to care. They can donate me to medical schools, or use me as compost, or use it as a handy way to get in the carpool lane. Whatever really. I don't want to be buried because that's just a waste of space.

 

Regarding being remembered, don't give a shit either. And seeing as there is no meaning to life, you can't waste your life, and so I don't worry about being successful or anything of that sort. I just do what makes me happy.

 

This. Worrying about being remembered is just...weird. You're gonna be dead, it's not like you'll be lying in a coffin with some kind of statcounter on who's remembering you or not :s

 

Would N-E be informed of my passing? I'd love to read your reaction (I'm prepared for silly jokes after this.)

 

I've also thought about this before, since I have a lot of online friends (who I have yet to meet irl). I've assigned someone to post a comment or something online/on various social networks when I've died, simply because it would be a waste of time if anyone tried to contact me.

[Ellmeister]

Having just received the Six Feet Under Boxset for my Birthday yesterday, I feel I need to write:

 

Everything. Everyone. Everywhere. Ends.

[nightwolf]

No obvs, (and I only skimmed the thread, wasn't referring to anything said in thread, rhyme) just saying that when people say that their funeral isn't important then that's silly, as obviously it's important to others, I'm not saying anyone should be planning it or anything.

 

Don't think anyone really plans their own funeral anyway really? Aside from vaguely the type of funeral and maybe the coffin or whatnot.

 

I see, that's better, it really worried me then that someone might consider it very important to discuss planned funerals.

[Paj!]

Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value life more. It's contrast.

 

Did it matter, then, she asked herself, walking toward Bond Street. Did it matter that she must inevitably cease, completely. All this must go on without her. Did she resent it? Or did it not become consoling to believe that death ended absolutely? It is possible to die. It is possible to die.

 

*lies on floor*

[chairdriver]

You'll have no experience of not existing, therefore you always exist.