Posted June 20, 2010 Saved by the Sony, bahahaha. That's horrible! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2010 Ive been friends with this girl in college for a few months now. Everyone kinda took the piss out of her because she had an insane love for Michael Jackson and she was pretty fat. But me, being a big Michael Jackson fan and not being a shallow prick decided to go talk to her one day as she was sat by herself in the canteen (and there's surely nothing worse!)Anyway, we ended up being quite good friends and hanging out fairly often which brings me to a few days ago. We were at a party and rather drunk she runs up to me and says "I love you!". I just assumed, in her drunken state, that she was being overly friendly, like most people do, so I laughed and hugged her back. Then she suddenly went all serious and said "Josh, I like, really like you, I've liked you for months, your so funny and we have so much fun together, can't we perhaps take things further, be more than just friends?" Then, shocked and confused, I wasn't quite sure how to put it, so I just said "Surely, after all this time, you know I'm gay right?" "No" She says "Oh" I say, then someone shouts me and says "WE NEED ANOTHER PERSON ON SINGSTAR!" Saved by the Sony. I ran off to play Singstar and we haven't spoken since. Are you actually gay or just pretending to get her off ya? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2010 Are you actually gay or just pretending to get her off ya? He is actually gay. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2010 That's great. Actually great, I feel bad for her but its soooooooo funny at the same time! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2010 Ha, funny stuff from the MJ fan! At work I made a call to HR in which the hot member of staff we have answered the phone... Me: Hi, is Gina there? Her: No, she's tied up at the moment. Me: Oh, really?..Are you, into that kind of thing? Her: Silence Me: Oh, well...Erm can you tell her, I, erm, rang. Thanks Bye! Me sat at my desk afterwards... "Shit, shit, shit..." Later that day she returned the call and I asked her if anyone in the office had a sense of humour, she said "huh?" I guess there's a time and a place for Sexual Innuendo. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2010 Ha, funny stuff from the MJ fan! At work I made a call to HR in which the hot member of staff we have answered the phone... Me: Hi, is Gina there? Her: No, she's tied up at the moment. Me: Oh, really?..Are you, erm, into that kind of thing? Her: Silence Me: Oh, well...Erm can you tell her, I, erm, rang. Thanks Bye! Me sat at my desk afterwards... "Shit, shit, shit..." Later that day she returned the call and I asked her if anyone in the office had a sense of humour, she said "huh?" I guess there's a time and a place for Sexual Innuendo. There is always time in every place for Sexual Innuendos! She just obviously doesn't have any sense of humour the fool Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2010 That was a great one tapedeck, might use that sometime. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2010 Sue once put me with this bigoted woman. It was awkward. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2010 Well... I enjoy Hip-Hop, we all know the term 'nigga' runs rampant on most tracks, I "get it", some other people "get it"... But the hard-nosed, executive types don't. I was in a train heading to central London at rush hour, and I accidently loudspeaker'd my blackberry playing some nasty DMX track... Just for those brief few seconds, 'niggaz' was said like 3 times - the middle-aged, suited and booted people in front of me just looked estranged and the air was suddenly awkward. I merely uttered out an "oops". ^_____^'' Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 20, 2010 Well... I enjoy Hip-Hop, we all know the term 'nigga' runs rampant on most tracks, I "get it", some other people "get it"... But the hard-nosed, executive types don't. I was in a train heading to central London at rush hour, and I accidently loudspeaker'd my blackberry playing some nasty DMX track... Just for those brief few seconds, 'niggaz' was said like 3 times - the middle-aged, suited and booted people in front of me just looked estranged and the air was suddenly awkward. I merely uttered out an "oops". ^_____^'' Beautiful, that reminds me. Me and my friends joke with the word nigga all the time. I was on the bus with them once and I can't remember what my friend said, but then I distinctly remember saying the word "nigga" quite loudly. In front of me all I could see were legs of a certain passenger. As we got off the bus I noticed that the guy was in fact black. And paralyzed with shock couldn't stop staring at him until one of my friends pushed me. Was quite awkward. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 21, 2010 Awkward moments... pretty much all relationship related. i'll start off with a not so bad story then delve into the bad one. 1 - when i was 17, my girlfriend stayed over. well her mum was meant to be coming over to pick her up at around 10 in the morning, so at 9am i'm awake and thirsty. so i go downstairs in my boxers as i normally would do, go into the kitchen, and there is my mum having a cup of tea with my girlfriends mum, so she saw me in just my boxers. now as i said thats not too bad, 2 - this happened last year. so was still living at home. i've gone to town with my girlfriend, we've got ridiculously drunk. stumble home at around 4am, we're starving so begin making nacho's in the kitchen, well it doesnt get very far into the nacho making before we're naked and to put it blunt getting our fuck on in the kitchen. well we decided it be best to go to the bedroom, pick up all the clothes and go to my room. next morning we're getting dressed, my girlfriend is like... "Were's my underwear?" i open the bedroom door and they're just outside my room. so i give them to her, then i go downstairs to get a drink and my dad is in the kitchen and says... "Did you 2 bonk down here last night?" Mortified i reply no no, and he then replies "Well Heather's underwear was by the fridge this morning!" literally on the spot i just say... "oh i came downstairs in the night for a drink, her underwear must of got caught on my feet and i must of dragged them down here!" very cringe worthy when your father questions if you've been 'Bonking' in the kitchen! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 21, 2010 That would have been awkward just for the fact your dad used the word 'bonk', let alone the actual situation! xD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 21, 2010 That would have been awkward just for the fact your dad used the word 'bonk', let alone the actual situation! xD yeah i admit that was alot worse then blagging my way out of lost girlfriend underwear another moment... again girl related... i pulled in town one night, brought said girl home, did the deeds, in the morning the walk of shame (i was included as i had to give said girl a lift home)... now normally my mum and dad socialize in the conservatory, on this occasion however they're both in the living room which i've got to walk through with the girl i had pulled the night before. she's by means not the smallest girl, but has perhaps the biggest boobs i've even seen that are real. well i do the quick "Mum, dad this is Leah, Leah..my mum and dad" get out quick and take her home. when i get back my dad says to me.. "the first time i went to the old Wembley stadium i was thinking wow.... when i went to the new Wembley stadium the first thing i was thinking was wow.... when i saw the size of that girls boobs this morning the first thing i was thinking was wow... her boobs were as jaw dropping as wembley" no word of a lie, that is the talk i had from my dad when i got in. that was kinda awkward but i dont expect anything less from my dad. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 21, 2010 Got quite a few, but will post them over time to keep the thread going. 1. My girlfriend had a party at Uni back in February and we woke up really horny in her bed. Naturally we begin to play with each other until we realise the bed is too loud and so we move onto the floor, right infront of the door leading out the room. Thinking no one would come in as they'd be too hungover, we begin to fuck on the floor and about 30 minutes later she tells me she wants me to come over her chest (obviously I'm not gonna complain). As I get up and begin to come over her, her best friends all walk into the room and just stand there shocked. I couldn't believe it, the first time they'd properly met me and we were both naked on the floor and getting dirty. What made it worse was that one of them actually went to get tissue to help us clear up. Ffs. 2. During freshers week at uni I ended up in a taxi going to Gatecrasher with some guys and a girl who I didn't really know too well. Being rather tipsy I decided to make a joke... Me: So, erm, what's the difference between black people and a park bench? Everyone: No idea. Me: A park bench can support a family of 4 *laughs* Everyone but the girl: LOLL Girl: You do know my stepdad is black right? Yeah. 9 months later and I havent spoken to her again. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 21, 2010 Got quite a few, but will post them over time to keep the thread going. 1. My girlfriend had a party at Uni back in February and we woke up really horny in her bed. Naturally we begin to play with each other until we realise the bed is too loud and so we move onto the floor, right infront of the door leading out the room. Thinking no one would come in as they'd be too hungover, we begin to fuck on the floor and about 30 minutes later she tells me she wants me to come over her chest (obviously I'm not gonna complain). As I get up and begin to come over her, her best friends all walk into the room and just stand there shocked. I couldn't believe it, the first time they'd properly met me and we were both naked on the floor and getting dirty. What made it worse was that one of them actually went to get tissue to help us clear up. Ffs. Brilliant, utterly brilliant! I couldn't stop laughing! How AWKWARD that must have felt and then to add the girl getting you tissue was the icing on the cake. See what I did there? :P Great stories on here! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 21, 2010 Brilliant, utterly brilliant! I couldn't stop laughing! How AWKWARD that must have felt and then to add the girl getting you tissue was the icing on the cake. See what I did there? :P Great stories on here! That's not even the most embarassing thing that's ever happened to me, how bad is that :/ That was truly awkward though. What made it worse was the fact my girlfriend was a 'no sex before marriage' person before we started going out so they were shocked for another reason too. On a brighter note, I think they were impressed with what they saw Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 21, 2010 Go on, don't hold out, tell us more! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 21, 2010 Oh lord, the tissue part was just... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 21, 2010 Some absolutely hilarious stories, the last few! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 22, 2010 Not exactly the most interesting but... I always find it so awkward when I meet someone in a kinda-busy place such as the streets of a city and I haven't seen them in months or it's someone who I know at school but don't talk to. Usually, I chicken out and just pretend I didn't see them:red: Ironically, that usually makes things worse Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 22, 2010 Not exactly the most interesting but...I always find it so awkward when I meet someone in a kinda-busy place such as the streets of a city and I haven't seen them in months or it's someone who I know at school but don't talk to. Usually, I chicken out and just pretend I didn't see them:red: Ironically, that usually makes things worse Do they start shouting to get your attention? "Hey! Crepuscular! OI! Crepuscular X. Batfeces! It's me! Your old friend from school! You remember me, right? We used to sit next to each other and you kept peeing your chair so you had to wear rubber underpants! Crepuscular! It's me!" Reminds me of Alan Partridge Series 2. "Dan! Dan! Dan! DAN! DAN! ... no, he hasn't seen me. DAN! Dan!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 22, 2010 Last Thursday, being the last day of exams, some course friends and I went round to Jason's house for pre-drinks before going to see Pendulum at the Union (not just a DJ set, Pendulum. Yes, it was awesome). The usual drinking games and the like occurred, during which one of the host's pretty un-hot housemates got very, very, very drunk, to the point where it was kind of scary in just how wild she was. She wasn't planning on coming with us as she didn't have a ticket, and when we got up to leave, I noticed Luke had poured himself another pint of pimm's. When we left, he announced he'd "finish his drink and catch us up in a minute". Seemed fair enough... We never saw him again that night. The next morning, Jason managed to squeeze out of his housemate that they'd slept together. This is, by even Luke's somewhat lackluster standards, a bad thing. Being the end of term, She moved out that day, and Luke headed round slightly afterwards to collect his Band Hero. I turned up randomly shortly before he got there to collect a crate of beer I'd left there the night before. I had the situation explained to me, and we decide we can't make it awkward for now, and have to take the piss out him that night instead once he's had a few just as the doorbell rang, and Jason went to open it. "How's your cock?" Louisa (Jason's gf) and I look at each other in horror, trying both unsure whether to mock Luke, rebuke Jason, or just laugh, as Luke steps in, without even acknowledging Jason, and asks me to give him a hand carrying stuff back to his. Wordlessly, I oblige, and help him get out of there, without another word said by anyone, in about 30 seconds. The 5 minute walk to his was literally the most awkward time of my life. I new I couldn't let the conversation stop for even a second, and I have never been so thankful for the existence of the World Cup in all my life. Once back at Jason's, Louisa is still literally rolling on the floor laughing, and he's just going "oh my god, that was so awkward, oh my god, that was so awkward" over and over again. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 22, 2010 Got quite a few, but will post them over time to keep the thread going. 1. My girlfriend had a party at Uni back in February and we woke up really horny in her bed. Naturally we begin to play with each other until we realise the bed is too loud and so we move onto the floor, right infront of the door leading out the room. Thinking no one would come in as they'd be too hungover, we begin to fuck on the floor and about 30 minutes later she tells me she wants me to come over her chest (obviously I'm not gonna complain). As I get up and begin to come over her, her best friends all walk into the room and just stand there shocked. I couldn't believe it, the first time they'd properly met me and we were both naked on the floor and getting dirty. What made it worse was that one of them actually went to get tissue to help us clear up. Ffs. 2. During freshers week at uni I ended up in a taxi going to Gatecrasher with some guys and a girl who I didn't really know too well. Being rather tipsy I decided to make a joke... Me: So, erm, what's the difference between black people and a park bench? Everyone: No idea. Me: A park bench can support a family of 4 *laughs* Everyone but the girl: LOLL Girl: You do know my stepdad is black right? Yeah. 9 months later and I havent spoken to her again. You Legend! - I'd thank you but i'm still to n00bie i guess one more awkward moment... it's not as bad as previous ones. before i got into a proper relationship with my girlfriend i was just sorta knocking about with her for a few weeks as you do. well i invited her to one of my mates house parties and we were offered the living room floor to sleep on (with like layers of sleeping bags, duvet etc)... so we're drinking loads, as is everyone, and it gets to the stage where people are just passing out left right & centre. well we retire on the bed... and as we're drunk and still in the 'lets fuck all the time' stage of the relationship... we fuck on my friends living room floor (it's dark) with people passed out pretty much all around us. so next day getting a lift home from another mate, we drop my girlfriend home... then literally as soon as she was out of the car my friend says.. "you got your fuck on last night didnt you?" i replied.. how'd you know? he says cause we were fucking loud... my final comment was... "We had anal!" to this day i've not told my friend who's house party it was directly that i had anal on his living room floor, but pretty much everyone else knows to the embarrasment of my girlfriend. god i love her!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
