Seriously Awkward Moments Thread

[Iun]

I was enjoying a post-dinner jostle one evening, when my dad burst's into the room "Hey! Your grandma is... OH!"

 

And he shuts the door, and says quietly: "Your grandma is here"

 

Then from behind the door "No, don't go in... he's busy... Well, he hasn't had a girlfriend for a while, so I suppose it's ok."

 

Turns out grandma was standing slightly behind my dad when he opened the door.

Edited June 2, 2010 by Iun

[The Lillster]

A mod should change the title to: N-Europe's embarrassing sex stories.

 

Put a link on the main site too.

[Shorty]

For Christmas I bought my friend a Gears of War figure. He bought me the same one. We exchanged them.

 

But I bought him the like fucking foot-tall one and he bought me the one half the size.

 

Awkwardddd.

[Beast]

The fact I used to sing in public all the time, looking back on it, makes me cringe. Although, at the same time, I should be a famous singer, so its alright.

 

I used to sing every morning on the bus, and I wore headphones, so it was probably disproportionaly loud.

 

I used to do that all the time but I was in school. I was really concentrating on my work in school and all I heard was the tinny sounds from headphones which started me off. I started humming and then I'd start singing and not realise it. The only time I realised was when my best mate next to me started doing backing vocals to which I woke up and the whole class looked at us so we did this kinda weird sit-down dance for ten seconds and then carried on with our work.

 

Aah fun times!

[Paj!]

The fact I used to sing in public all the time, looking back on it, makes me cringe. Although, at the same time, I should be a famous singer, so its alright.

 

I used to sing every morning on the bus, and I wore headphones, so it was probably disproportionaly loud.

 

Don't give up, you still have friends.

 

It was a joy when you did it last time you were up, in the middle of Princes st.

[EEVILMURRAY]

Having a seizure at work promotes some form of awkwardness. Mainly because not many know what to do. I would feel awkward too if I wasn't so knackered.

[Nintendohnut]

I have two, both really awkward.

 

So My parents were out at work and my girlfriend was over, middle of the morning we thought 'what could go wrong?' We were in the front room of the house with all the curtains closed and we were... getting jiggy, when we hear the front door open. The door into the lounge has mottled glass all the way down, so although you can't see through clearly you can definitely make out a general shape. So my dad shouts that he's in, we scramble madly to get dressed, but all I can do is grab boxers and hold them in front of my nob before he looks through the glass with his hand on the door handle. Takes one look, lets go of the handle, turns around and leaves again. He'd come back for his wallet. Dinner that night (with my girlfriend still there) was super awkward.

 

Second, similar to others' stories - at my gfs house this time, everyone was out so we were making the most of it in her bedroom upstairs. Sadly we were being loud and they walked in (apparently) half way through downstairs and heard it all. Her mum apparently said they were trying to make loud noises so we knew they were there but... well, we didn't hear them anyway.

 

This thread is awesome.

[EEVILMURRAY]

This is basically the screamers' thread.

 

I had a similar situation but it didn't make me feel awkward personally. More proud.

 

My girlfriend were getting jiggy, loud to the point that it made my brother go sleep downstairs.

[Beast]

This thread is awesome.

 

Seconded. I'm loving these stories so far, they're full of the laughs!

 

I've just remembered one but it's not about me, it's about my mate. We were in school at the time and it was non-uniform day and everybody walked past him, looked behind him and started to laugh and he had no idea what they were laughing at. I didn't either. He said "Have I got something on my back?" so I looked and checked and then I started to laugh. He looked at me puzzled and I said "Yeah, you have your sister's jeans on!"

 

(Basically, he had 'tasty' written on the back of the jeans, how I didn't notice, I'll never know. It's not like me to miss out on something funny! I've never seen him run so fast home in my life!)

Edited June 2, 2010 by Animal

[James]

So during the days when internet speeds were rubbish and youpron did not exist. I used to download alot of pictures, I believe they were of joe guest and another lady.

 

I used to have a mac and i stored them in iphoto, after I had 'finished' with them I removed them from iphoto -well thats what I thought I did.

 

My sister asked me to look at some photos for her she has taken on a camera, so I think fine, I load up iphoto and bam all these images of joe guest and her lovely lady friends appear on the screen. My sister proclaims they are not hers I just start to mumble and close it down and then just run off, it was awkward for a while....

 

After she left I went back to iphoto and realised I had deleted the folder that contained said images but did not delete them from the libary. FAIL!!

[dwarf]

When I was 5 or 6 years old: embarrassing story win -

 

Me and family were just watching TV when I suddenly stood up and farted. I started laughing, everyone else followed. Then I just stop laughing and run away crying - they were confused and thought 'why is he upset, was it because we laughed at him?'. What actually happened was that I followed through horrid and mother had to help clean up my pants.

 

---

On the school bus, and I tried to make a friend feel really awkward. He was sitting next to a girl I knew he was fairly interested in, but I didn't know much about her myself. We were all talking about a party we were going to when the girl says "Yeah I'm bringing some wine. I get so drunk so quick on it, only takes half a bottle"

 

To which I say "*Dan's taken note"

 

Then I get a look from him as if he didn't understand, and the girl is just confused by the social violation and ignores me and just speaks to Dan "is he trying to be cheeky?" to which Dan says "I don't know, I didn't know what he said"

 

Then there was an awkward silence as I was left cringing at the situation. My friend later told me that he actually found the comment funny but just denied all knowledge during the situation.

---

A few years ago: I pulled my sister's chair from her as she was about to sit down. She obviously fell down and I started laughing. However, there was a nasty sort of, I dunno, a clicking sound. Whilst I chuckled, noone had joined me (there were a few families round for a barbecue) and they just stared at me. That was when I remembered that she had a back problem.

 

I'm pretty sure there are more embarrassing moments I've forgotten about, so I'll come back when I've remembered some.

Edited June 2, 2010 by dwarf

[The Lillster]

I was enjoying a post-dinner jostle one evening, when my dad burst's into the room "Hey! Your grandma is... OH!"

 

And he shuts the door, and says quietly: "Your grandma is here"

 

Then from behind the door "No, don't go in... he's busy... Well, he hasn't had a girlfriend for a while, so I suppose it's ok."

 

Turns out grandma was standing slightly behind my dad when he opened the door.

 

Thank God you didn't give your Grandma a heart attack with your Cum shot.

[Cube]

Trying to remove a virus from my sister's computer and coming across a photo she took for her boyfriend (well, the thumbnail of it) was pretty awkward.

[Iun]

Trying to remove a virus from my sister's computer and coming across a photo she took for her boyfriend (well, the thumbnail of it) was pretty awkward.

 

Minge?

 

Anyway, so I was living in France and there was these old gentleman living on the ground floor of our apartment building, he was always staring out of the window at everyone who walked by - it's actually a national past-time there.

 

So I was waiting for my friend to turn up so we could go for pizza on the beach and the guy is staring out of the window and he beckons me over with a wave of his cheese knife.

 

Over I go, smile on face, not sure what he wants as he's always staring and hasn't made any contact in what... 2 months? So he strikes up a conversation while he's eating at the open window and I ask him what kind of things he sees watching from his apartment...

 

Him: "Well, I watch the world, I'm very lonely, I like to see the people here."

 

Me: "Sure, I'll bet. There's goodness knows how many people live in this area, they must surely come from all walks."

 

Him: "Yes, there's a nuclear engineer in the building, teachers, construction workers... I was an engineer myself. I'm so lonely."

 

Me: "No family here?"

 

Him: "No, I'm gay."

 

Me: "Oh, how about that..."

 

He fixes me with a stare, chewing a mouthful of some kind of meat slowly and looking me right in the eye.

 

Him: "Would you like to come in and eat some sausage?"

 

...

 

Seconds later, I realise that he was referring to the piece of charcuterie on his plate in front of him, but that has to have been one of the most awkward moments in my stay there. In fact, it was an awkward year.

[Cube]

Minge?

 

Just the top half. She was 16 at the time so it felt necessary for me to tell her to be careful and all that. Six months later said boyfriend gets her pregnant.

 

Another awkward tale that you've reminded me of also related to an old man who watches people walk past outside his windows (except that he sits at the back of his living room and watches through blinds so I had no idea).

 

Everyone at work teases me about the state of my coat - it's a terrible coat but I don't want to buy a new one just to get it ruined in the warehouse. Anyway, I'm walking home when this old guy calls me over, I politely go over thinking that he needs help with something.

 

He then gets a coat from his house and tells me to try it on, which I politely do (at the time, I was thinking that he was sizing it up for his grandson or something). He then tells me that it suits me and that I can have it, as long as he doesn't have to see my coat going past his house again.

 

As I don't have much time to get to the train station for my train I accepted it as it felt so awkward that I couldn't think of anything to say to him as a good reason for me not to accept it. I went back the following Monday (he gave to me on a Friday) as I'd come up with a good reason why that coat wasn't a good idea - it was a white suede coat and would be utterly destroyed in a dusty warehouse.

[Coolness Bears]

Got another one for you!

 

It was my 18th birthday, everyone was gathered round the table friend, family, family friends etc around 20-25 people probably all there to wish me a happy birthday.

 

My mum had just given a lovely speech about me that we all enjoyed and she goes...

 

"Nicholas is there anything you'd like to say?"

 

all I needed to is thank her for the speech at the very least but no! I looked at everyone and went...

 

"TONIGHT IS GONNA BE LEGENDARY...

 

...wait for it...

 

 

 

DARY!."

 

Stone cold silence swept the room no one new what I was talking about and I was left standing there a sea of confused faces staring up at me. :p

 

All caught on camera, a classic.

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

Got another one for you!

 

It was my 18th birthday, everyone was gathered round the table friend, family, family friends etc around 20-25 people probably all there to wish me a happy birthday.

 

My mum had just given a lovely speech about me that we all enjoyed and she goes...

 

"Nicholas is there anything you'd like to say?"

 

all I needed to is thank her for the speech at the very least but no! I looked at everyone and went...

 

"TONIGHT IS GONNA BE LEGENDARY...

 

...wait for it...

 

 

 

DARY!."

 

Stone cold silence swept the room no one new what I was talking about and I was left standing there a sea of confused faces staring up at me. :p

 

All caught on camera, a classic.

Wait, did you say "Legendary ... wait for it ... dary"? Or was that simply a typo?

[Happenstance]

I hope it wasnt a typo, makes it all the more funny

[Coolness Bears]

It was a reference to Randy:

 

 

[Shorty]

I assume you weren't surprised when saying that out of context returned nothing but blank stares

[mr_bogus]

So, a bit like the confused silence on this thread then?

[Nolan]

Go to friends house.

 

Get Drunk.

 

Ask friend's mom if her boobs are real.

 

Reply, as real as your 9 inch Dick.

 

 

 

I guess they're pretty real eh?

[Happenstance]

Just thought of one for both me and Goafer.

 

When we were still in school we went and stayed around at someones house with a load of mates for his birthday. As with most teenage boys we ended up watching the more "erotic" channels at around midnight. In the morning all of our friends but me and Goafer went out, one of the parents of our mate came in to talk to us and managed to slip into the conversation that their tvs all picked up the Sky signal in the house and were watching it with us the night before.

[Wesley]

A mod should change the title to: N-Europe's embarrassing sex stories.

 

Put a link on the main site too.

 

Yeah but I think some people are confusing embarrassing/awkward with "shameful I'm a dirty shank".

 

First at week Uni, knock on a female flatmates door.

 

*knocks*

 

I've got the left for dead you asked for.

 

"Come in"

 

I walk in as she is coming out the shower, "errrr you said come in!"

 

No i didn't I said "I'M IN THE SHOWER"

 

Oh....

 

*backs out the door*

 

It gets worse retelling it later since Come in sounds nothing like I'm having a shower. :p

 

Aw, that's terrible!

 

At the start of uni. you're already on edge worried about making a fool of yourself, etc.

 

What happened after this?

[Diageo]

I'm really enjoying this thread, so just to put my story in.

 

Was staying over at a new friend's house, first time. So I'm on the mattress on the floor and he's on the bed beside me. So I'm sleeping and I get a few pokes on the side, I guess he was trying to see if I was awake. So he sticks his hand under my covers and starts feeling me up. At this point I was half awake and really tired, I don't know if I thought I was dreaming or what, so eventually he gets to giving me a bj at which point I wake up properly and say, "Eh...... What are you doing?" At which point he says, "nothing," and walks out of the room. Needless to say the rest of the day was really awkward until my other friend invited me to cinema and I had an excuse to leave.