Will Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 Whoa, when did this happen? It's been building up for a while now and then finally the actual break up was last weekend. She's away this week, hopefully some time apart will ease the strain a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancake Posted March 15, 2010 Author Share Posted March 15, 2010 Which is why you need some personal me-time for yourself to get over him. It hurts now, and you may not want to get over him, but since he couldn't realise how lucky he was, he's simply not worth it. You deserve to love someone who loves you back and thus you need to put him behind you and move on. This isn't to say it's easy, though, and it sounds awfully harsh right now, but as it has already been mentioned, time heals all wounds, and eventually you'll find someone who's more right for you. I know. I feel like it was my fault though. That i didn't make enough effort, or something. I should have done more to keep him entertained and happy. I never want another boyfriend again. I'm not going through this same routine all the time. I don't know how people do it without getting totally jaded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 I know. I feel like it was my fault though. That i didn't make enough effort, or something. I should have done more to keep him entertained and happy. I never want another boyfriend again. I'm not going through this same routine all the time. I don't know how people do it without getting totally jaded. Hey, hey, you're making it sound like you were his toy or something! Relationships (at least the kind I know) aren't about keeping the other part "entertained". The point of a relationship should be that you both make each other happy. If he was not happy with how things were, he should have spoken to you about it, and you could have tried to work things out. Whether you decide to find a boyfriend again some time or not is probably hard to say by now, but the main point is that you're happy with whatever choices you make. It's been building up for a while now and then finally the actual break up was last weekend. She's away this week' date=' hopefully some time apart will ease the strain a bit.[/quote'] So you haven't discussed what's going to happen now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paj! Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 Only love can break your heart. Try to be sure right from the start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 So you haven't discussed what's going to happen now? To be honest it's all a bit up in the air, our respective work commitments mean we actually see each other very little (a big factor in the break up) we do need to properly work out things at some point though. Not something either of us are overly keen to do though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 To be honest it's all a bit up in the air' date=' our respective work commitments mean we actually see each other very little (a big factor in the break up) we do need to properly work out things at some point though. Not something either of us are overly keen to do though.[/quote']Understandable. Well, I hope you make rational decisions that will work out for both of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karl619 Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 I'm sorry for anyone who has just suffered from a break-up. I'm going through one as well ( as well documented it was ) and I've learnt a) don't do anything desperate, b) have no contact for at least 25 days - that way you will both be able to get clarity of mind c) go to the gym/do other things/go out with mates and d) it's called a break-up because it was broken. That being said I reckon love is an emotion that always has some sort of strain left and people do get back together to get even stronger. However, don't use this to hold on to any hope... instead except it's over, learn from it and if you do get speaking again then all the better . Good luck to both of you and anyone else going through a break-up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 A crown of gold. A heart that's harder than stone. And it hurts a whole lot, but it's missed when it's gone. I moved out of her state, she kept to herself, I kept out of her way. I took all her pictures down, and every picture she painted I painted myself out. Hit the bottle and don't stop hittin' til it hits back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellmeister Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 A crown of gold. A heart that's harder than stone. And it hurts a whole lot, but it's missed when it's gone. I moved out of her state, she kept to herself, I kept out of her way. I took all her pictures down, and every picture she painted I painted myself out. Hit the bottle and don't stop hittin' til it hits back. I'm stunned. I'm drowning in a sea of pure ecstasy from those song lyrics. /Chairdriver/Paj Meen Ah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mundi Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 A crown of gold. A heart that's harder than stone. And it hurts a whole lot, but it's missed when it's gone. I moved out of her state, she kept to herself, I kept out of her way. I took all her pictures down, and every picture she painted I painted myself out. Hit the bottle and don't stop hittin' til it hits back. Yer problem is the dames... Dames are trouble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paj! Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 I'm stunned. I'm drowning in a sea of pure ecstasy from those song lyrics. /Chairdriver/Paj Meen Ah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 The water's so cold. We won't have to fight for long, ellmeister. The morning will find our bodies washed up thirty miles west. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellmeister Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 I know that this is what you want, but J7 know you are not alone. I need you like water in my blood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shorty Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Lunnggggsss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Yeah, ell, WTF U ON!"!"£:>~@ Even though I'm down and out, I won't let you in."The harpoon is loaded. The cage is lowered. The water is red." Like you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Well, I'm fairly sure this thread has at least cheered Pancake up. :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancake Posted March 16, 2010 Author Share Posted March 16, 2010 Thanks guys. But today i've suffered a little emotional hissy fit thing, once more. I saw on his Facebook (which he's been cheerfully updating as normal, makes me wonder if the breakup even affected him remotely), he "liked" a photo of some female Facebook friend of his in a sexy black corset dress thing. I just felt so fucking angry! So he's just cheerfully appreciating other women already?? Me, i don't even have the slightest interest in looking at other men. Or cheerfully updating my Facebook either. Why are people so flippant?? And why can't *i* be flippant like that so i could just be cheery like him and not give a fuck?? It just feels like our whole relationship was a dream now and never even happened. Not heard from him since, and am just pathetically hoping he'll get in touch to check i'm ok or something. But doesn't look like it. Sorry, just had to vent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eenuh Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Bah to boys. Hope you're okay Pancake. Take care of yourself. *hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancake Posted March 16, 2010 Author Share Posted March 16, 2010 Bah to boys. Hope you're okay Pancake. Take care of yourself. *hugs* Thanks. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheikah Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 I got out of a terrible 3 and a half year relationship about 7-8 months ago. Long story short, the girl was a manipulator with little heart or conscience and had cheated on me for over a year. And oh yeah - she wanted to firebomb a butcher's. Now I'm with someone who I love and who also loves and appreciates me immensely, doesn't take me for granted and someone who I have no arguments with. She's always looking out for me and she never hates me for who I am and doesn't try to change me (as my past girlfriend always was - trying to turn me vegan). And soon we'll be living together for at least the next four years of our life, then most probably beyond. So put simply: things will get better, you will find someone who is not (as you suggest from his Facebook activities) a black-hearted user who was definitely not right for you, or likely any other nice woman on Earth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoogleViper Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Thanks guys.But today i've suffered a little emotional hissy fit thing, once more. I saw on his Facebook (which he's been cheerfully updating as normal, makes me wonder if the breakup even affected him remotely), he "liked" a photo of some female Facebook friend of his in a sexy black corset dress thing. I just felt so fucking angry! So he's just cheerfully appreciating other women already?? Me, i don't even have the slightest interest in looking at other men. Or cheerfully updating my Facebook either. Why are people so flippant?? And why can't *i* be flippant like that so i could just be cheery like him and not give a fuck?? Most blokes won't show emotions such as this, certainly not publically. So even if the break up did affect him, he certainly won't show it on facebook and will continue to act normally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancake Posted March 16, 2010 Author Share Posted March 16, 2010 I got out of a terrible 3 and a half year relationship about 7-8 months ago. Long story short, the girl was a manipulator with little heart or conscience and had cheated on me for over a year. And oh yeah - she wanted to firebomb a butcher's. Now I'm with someone who I love and who also loves and appreciates me immensely, doesn't take me for granted and someone who I have no arguments with. She's always looking out for me and she never hates me for who I am and doesn't try to change me (as my past girlfriend always was - trying to turn me vegan). And soon we'll be living together for at least the next four years of our life, then most probably beyond. So put simply: things will get better, you will find someone who is not (as you suggest from his Facebook activities) a black-hearted user who was definitely not right for you, or likely any other nice woman on Earth. Sounds like you went from one extreme to the other there. My bf never seemed black-hearted, i think he's just annoyingly well-adjusted and able to move on from a relationship that's ended. But it feels so shallow to ME, when i'm struggling to bother getting up in the morning now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Odwin Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Pancake, the break up will likely affect the guy less as he did the dumping - he wanted the relationship to end. It's a change that he wanted to make, so he may even be happier with his life right now. (Not trying to be mean - but that's the way it could be.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancake Posted March 16, 2010 Author Share Posted March 16, 2010 Most blokes won't show emotions such as this, certainly not publically. So even if the break up did affect him, he certainly won't show it on facebook and will continue to act normally. Oh he's not a typical straight bloke. He's very open like that so that wouldn't be the case for him. Besides, he could always have expressed his real feelings to me privately if he was struggling. I just don't think he is. Pancake, the break up will likely affect the guy less as he did the dumping - he wanted the relationship to end. It's a change that he wanted to make, so he may even be happier with his life right now. (Not trying to be mean - but that's the way it could be.) I know. I just still thought he'd have more sentiment over a 7 month relationship that's all. At least SOME angst, you know... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoogleViper Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 Oh he's not a typical straight bloke. He's very open like that so that wouldn't be the case for him. Besides, he could always have expressed his real feelings to me privately if he was struggling. I just don't think he is. Even blokes that aren't typically masculine (such as myself) don't often express their feelings publically. I obviously don't know how he's feeling but I would suggest not to assume anything. Also he probably wouldn't want to speak to you if it did affect him. Obviously I don't know the guy so these are just suggestions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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