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Posted
"I did not have...sexual relations with that woman."

 

My thought exactly.

 

_____________________________________________________

 

"That George Bush is actually a pretty good guy!"

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Posted

"Finally, Barack has come back to Afghanistan!

 

Apparently, there are a handful of bomb-making, freedom-hating jabronis, who think they can do whatever they want. Well, Barack will tell you this: It doesn't matter what you think! The fact of the matter, Al-Qaeda, is that once Barack finds you, Barack will lay the smacketh-down on ALL of your candyasses and proceed to wipe the floor with them!

 

IF YOU SMELLLLLLL-UH...What Barack is cooking!"

Posted

Ah crappola. I really shouldn't compete in these threads as I'm rubbish at remembering I'm meant to be judging. For being completely surreal I point the winners wang in Chris the Great's direction, congratulations to you sir.

 

"It's morphin' time!"

 

You are also right, it does conjure up some good images (Obama transforming the White House into a megazord and destroying Washington).

Posted

Ooh, me? I win? Wow, there are so many people to thank ... but I can assure you Hitler isn't one of them! :p

 

Hm, I have no idea if this'll work, but it could prove hilarious ... or a disaster. We'll find out.

 

Unlikely lines to find in a horror book.

Posted

"I didn't think you'd show up", said the Word-Play Slayer as he sliced Helen open, "you got a lot of guts". Helen rolled her eyes, "Stop it you're killing me" she replied sarcastically. He chuckled as he stabbed directly at her ribcage "the heart of the matter is I love this bloody job, any parting words". With her last breath Helen cried out "Comb and....brush".

Posted

^ Don't think anyone can top that, weeyellow. :bowdown:

 

 

She ran screaming into the forest.

"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU RUN INTO THE FOREST FOR, YOU SILLY BITCH!" bellowed Evan after her, "IF YOU END UP FALLING OVER AN EXPOSED ROOT AND HE CATCHES UP WITH YOU AND CUTS YOUR LEGS OFF, DON'T COME RUNNING TO ME!"

 

 

Adam ran into his parent's bedroom.

"MUM! DAD! I HEARD A SCARY VOICE! IT WAS TALKING TO ME!"

"Adam..." yawned his dad, turning in bed, "...that was nothing, it was just the wind, now go back to sleep."

"But, Dad!" cried Adam, "I know what the wind sounds like, it sounds like this-"

Adam made a faint whistling noise with his mouth.

"That's what it sounds like. It doesn't sound like some disembodied, demonic voice shouting "GET OUT OF THE FUCKING HOUSE!", y'know."


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