Posted August 9, 2007 Here are a few off the top of my head: Originally Posted by BenderWho the hell are you and why should I care? Originally Posted by RalphMe fail English? That's unpossible! Originally Posted by Zapp BranniganZapp Brannigan. Has my fame preceeded me, or was I too quick for it? Originally Posted by Zapp BranniganOh, please! You give me too little credit. Genius Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 9, 2007 I find the most erotic part of a woman to be the boobies Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 9, 2007 I've never heard of a more shocking injustice I cared so little about. That was so bad I think it gave me cancer. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 9, 2007 in chess, you never let your oponent see your peices. i could fit if i didn't have these damn arms Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 9, 2007 Famputer- I, famputer, sentence you all to death... *gasps* ...by SnooSnoo! *Fry and Zapp high five* Kiff- Ohhhh Zapp- What are you, gay? Anyone who's seen the episode will know that snoosnoo is sex. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 9, 2007 Im not the best a quoting ill try. 1)Troy Mcclure what does DNA stand for? *looks at camera* 2) mr burns to homer: Shouln't you be at work? homer: yy yes... sir mr burns: Well Get back to work whatever it is you do...whoever you are. Famputer- I, famputer, sentence you all to death... *gasps* ...by SnooSnoo! *Fry and Zapp high five* Kiff- Ohhhh Zapp- What are you, gay? Anyone who's seen the episode will know that snoosnoo is sex. Brilliant. I love furturma so much.. 3) Branigan's law is like branigan's love...HARD AND FAST! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 9, 2007 Brannigan: Once again, my plan is so brilliantly simple even a complete idiot could have devised it! Atilla the Hun: No! No use fire stick in big space canoe! Cause explosive decompression! Brannigan: Spare me your space age techno babble Atilla the Hun! Nixon: I wouldn't give up this body any more then I would give up my beloved dog Checkers. Checkers: *bark!* *bark!* Nixon: SHUT UP DAMMIT! I'll think of more + Simpsons ones later. There's a lot to pick from. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 9, 2007 Bender: Hey! What kind of party is this? There’s no booze and only one hooker. Bender:Yeah, well I’m gonna build my own lunar space lander! With blackjack and Hookers! Actually, forget the space lander, and the blackjack. Ahhhh forget the whole thing! Zapp:I suffer from a sexy learning disability. Kif, what do I call it?” Kif: *sigh* “Sex-lexia…” Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 9, 2007 Bart: I was sitting there! Lisa: I don't see your name on it! Bart: It's right THERE! Marge: Bart, stop writing your name on the floor! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 9, 2007 Captain Zapp Brannigan: If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate. and... Chief Wiggum: Uh, Mrs. Simpson, I have some bad news. Your husband was found DOA. Marge: Oh my god. He's dead? Chief Wiggum: Oh, wait, I mean DWI. I always get those two mixed up. [a woman walks in] Woman: My name's Mrs. Phillips. You said my husband is DWI? Chief Wiggum: Uh... why don't you talk to that officer over there? I'm going out to lunch. There's many more, but these are the two quotes that come to mind when I think of The Simpsons and Futurama Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 9, 2007 Homer: I wanna set the record straight, I thought the cop was a prostitute! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 9, 2007 Zapp- You remind me of a young me. Not much younger, mind. Zapp- I am the man with no name. Zapp Brannigan at your service. *Aliens tell joke.* Zapp- Oh God, You're killing me. *Aliens proceed to clobber Zapp.* Zapp- Oh God, you're killing me! And yes, I do like Zapp. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 9, 2007 Zapp: I slept with a woman, inform the men! Homer: Humans have the ability to weasel out of situations. That seperates us from the animals... except for the Weasel I guess. Quimby: Oh my god. You're milking rats! Fat Tony I'm disappointed, you promised me dogs at least. Later at school, Barts reads the milk carton: Malk with Vitamin R My quotes aren't very accurate though because I saw dubbed versions Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 9, 2007 Haven't watched either in so long, except the Simpsons movie. It's all classic though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 9, 2007 Homer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kqAWWNZqjM Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 9, 2007 I'll throw some South Park into the mix. Chef's Father: Well, aren't you crackers just cute as the dickens? Stan: You're chef's parents? Chef's Mother: Yes, all his life. Kyle: [in a hurry] We have to talk to him! Chef's Father: Well, he should be out now directly. Chef's Mother: He's so excited about the wedding now. Chef's Father: Say, would you crackers like to hear about the time we met the Loch Ness Monster? Stan: [impatiently] No, that's okay. Chef's Father: Ooh, it must have been about seven, eight years ago. Me and the little lady was out on this boat, you see, all alone at night, when all of the sudden this huge creature, this giant crustacean from the Paleolithic Era, comes out of the water. Chef's Mother: We was so scared, Lord have mercy, I jumped up in the boat, and I said, "Thomas, what on earth is that creature?" Chef's Father: It stood above us looking down with these big red eyes... Chef's Mother: Oh, it was so scary! Chef's Father: ...and I yelled, I said, "What do you want from us, monster?" And the monster bent down, and said, "I need about tree-fitty." [long pause] Kyle: What's tree-fiddly? Chef's Father: Three dollars and fifty cents. Chef's Mother: Tree-fiddly. Stan: He wanted money? Chef's Father: That's right. I said, "I ain't givin' you no tree-fiddly, you goddamn Loch Ness Monster! Get your own goddamn money!" Chef's Mother: I gave him a dollar. Chef's Father: She gave him a dollar. Chef's Mother: I thought he'd go away if I gave him a dollar. Chef's Father: Well, of course he's not gonna go away, Mary! You give him a dollar, he's gonna assume you've got more! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 9, 2007 Captain Zapp Brannigan: If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate. I love that quote for no reason. Zapp is such a brilliant character. One really random one: Leela: Bees communicate by dancing. Fry: Just like my parents! Oh wait, that was hitting. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 9, 2007 Fry: Women are like men accept with girl parts! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 10, 2007 Zapp: The key to a womans heart is her parents....Sleep with them and your in! Zapp: How do we know that she is still alive? Amy: Im right here. Zapp: Quiet your weakening our bargining plea! Zapp: Shes built like a Bistro but she handles like Steakhouse! Kif: Well sir im in love and..... Zapp: BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA, THATS RICH...go on. Zapp: Leela, I didnt know where to turn to, your the only woman that loved me. Leela: I didnt love you! Zapp: I meant physically! Needless to say Zapp simply Ownz and theguyfromsparks stole the best quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 10, 2007 Zapp Brannigan: - Can't you ask a little more sexfully, Leela? - Teenagers smoke, Kif, and they seem pretty on the ball. - I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What is it, Kif? Sexlexia. - What are you, gay? Zapp: The key to a womans heart is her parents....Sleep with them and your in! Zapp: How do we know that she is still alive? Amy: Im right here. Zapp: Quiet your weakening our bargining plea! Zapp: Shes built like a Bistro but she handles like Steakhouse! Kif: Well sir im in love and..... Zapp: BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA, THATS RICH...go on. Zapp: Leela, I didnt know where to turn to, your the only woman that loved me. Leela: I didnt love you! Zapp: I meant physically! Needless to say Zapp simply Ownz and theguyfromsparks stole the best quote The Zapper <3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 10, 2007 Homer: D'oh! Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass! Had to add those in =] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 10, 2007 Bart - Hello is miss Hugandkiss there first name amanda Moe - Amanda hugandkiss...Amanda hugandkiss!!...o why cant i find amanda hugandkiss Barney - Maybe your standards are too high ROFL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 10, 2007 Wiggum sidles into a porno theatre: Wiggum: Ah, nothing beats a good porno movie. Krusty: Ah! Police Chief Wiggum! Is this a bus? Wiggum: Errr.... yeah, that's exactly what this is. A bus. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 10, 2007 Don't you mean bust? Otherwise the joke takes a weird, surreal turn. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 10, 2007 Homer: Kids you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. One of my favs: Homer-(singing to the flintstones opening song): Simpson! Homer Simpson! Hes the greatest guy in history, from the, town of Springfield! He's about to hit a chestnut tree! *hits tree* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
