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Adverts which may or may not blow.


EEVILMURRAY

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I was deliberating on making this again or not. But seeing Davina McCall opening the shithole that is her mouth and disgracing her mum after she just pimpsmacked her prompted me into action.

 

I've remixed it with the solitary topic "Adverts which don't blow" so people [As well as myself] can bring a bit of happy magic to the topic.

 

Right. I've mentioned McCall on Nutrisse, so I'll move on a bit.

 

This Argos advert, If I was the Moon I certainly wouldn't appreciate some prat in a scarf bouncing on stars then placing his foot in my mouth to grab another star [Apparently a "Christmas wish"]. I'd eat the bloke and leave the kid without a father as a lesson not to want things above his station.

 

That bit aside, if I was a kid who got a Scalextric for Christmas [Which I was once in my youth, but a big fuck off one like that.] I wouldn't want it set up for me, that's half the adventure!

 

 

Anyone else?

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Ray Winstone Optivita advert (Well don't look at me I'm not gonna tell you what to do!)

 

The Unspoken Advert of Frosties

 

Argos (FALSE ADVERTISING! I tried it, you can't grab some plastic star, go put it on the Argos desk and make them give you items from the catalogue. AND the Argos employees never smile)

 

Not seen it this year but Toys R Us. Millions of Jeffreys all under one roof?

 

 

Yeah those are all my bad ads.

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The new freaking christmas coca cola advert! Complete and utter bollocks!

 

Although for all you wanting to see the classic "holidays are coming, always coca cola" ad, with the big ass truck, well it'll be shown on Christmas Eve around 10:20 on channel 4, the bad news..... it's during The Best Of The Friday Night Project meaning possible exposure to Alan Carr and Justin Lee Collins.

 

Is it worth it..... I'll let you decide!

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The Diamond adverts, the confused.com adverts and the elephant.co.uk adverts have driven me to the edge of my sanity. But recently the ad with the black guy in the red suit to the remixed 'rap' version of "santa baby" ripped through my very soul, so much so that I don't know what the advert is for because I can't bare to watch to the end of it.

 

And anything featuring the word compensation. *shudder*

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There's a car advert where there are many models of the same car doing tricks in the air and skidding around etc and then at the end they try to post something through the letterbox and they miss. Why did they make him miss? it just shows that the car cant be driven near the pavement close enough to post a letter. If the driver is that skilled to do twists and turns in the air you think he'd be able to put an envelope through a gap. PLus the car is rubbish and its false advertising.

 

The oatabix advert is lame. The advert designers/campaigners blatantly ran out of ideas for this. 'Not-Made-From-Wheat-Made-From-Oat-Instead-Abix' VERY NO!

 

and ive mentioned this one before:

Olay Everyday sunshine - "you are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me haa-pyyyyyy when skies are grey" argh shut up i hate that song.

 

 

EDIT: the lil bill tesco adverts are incredibly annoying 'just a tiny lil bill' NO!!!!!

 

Edit 2: Ive just seen this site which i totally agree with everybody:

http://www.palinstravels.co.uk/static-51?topic=5082&forum=9

Yes car credits! haha lmao

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There's a car advert where there are many models of the same car doing tricks in the air and skidding around etc and then at the end they try to post something through the letterbox and they miss. Why did they make him miss? it just shows that the car cant be driven near the pavement close enough to post a letter. If the driver is that skilled to do twists and turns in the air you think he'd be able to put an envelope through a gap. PLus the car is rubbish and its false advertising.

 

The oatabix advert is lame. The advert designers/campaigners blatantly ran out of ideas for this. 'Not-Made-From-Wheat-Made-From-Oat-Instead-Abix' VERY NO!

 

and ive mentioned this one before:

Olay Everyday sunshine - "you are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me haa-pyyyyyy when skies are grey" argh shut up i hate that song.

 

I like the song in that advert...

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EDIT: the lil bill tesco adverts are incredibly annoying 'just a tiny lil bill' NO!!!!!

Thar be Sainsburys mon frere.

 

Another. M&S [i believe] clothes adverts, with that group of lasses pratting about in a few places. Winter one featuring Shirley Bassett. I don't mind the advert except for one thing. The tall lass with short black hair is always putting her hands on her hips and producing one of the most shittiest shit eating grins I've ever seen.

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CONFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSED dot com... how about SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT the fuck up, I couldn't care less about your fucking product if all you do is annoy the FUCK out of me by repeatedly saying CONFUSED DOT COM and speaking very very quickly. Sigh, and don't get me started on Diamond. Those adverts just scream "Gullible women will buy our insurance just because we say it's for them". Try a proper car insurance firm you stupid bimbos! Sorry, but some adverts just drive me mental

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Right where to start. The complete travesty that is the new Coca Cola ad. If you're not going to have "Holidays are coming"x10 with a shit load of colourful trucks careering through a winter wonderland. Don't. Fucking. Bother.

 

Another ad that really grates me for some reason I can't pinpoint, is that Debnams one with the middle aged dancing santa dude and the annoying music. Where he gets in the snow mobile at the end. Wtf.

 

Oh and lastly the Marks and Spencers ads that seem to go on for a good 5 minutes with that womans really incredibly unsexy, unseductive voice. I always turn it off, watch something, turn back and it's still on...

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Another ad that really grates me for some reason I can't pinpoint, is that Debnams one with the middle aged dancing santa dude and the annoying music. Where he gets in the snow mobile at the end. Wtf.

 

Debenhems, thank you, that's the one I was thinking of. God that advert pisses me of.

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There's one just for the East Midlands I assume which has Santa "dressing himself". You know the kind, it's played backwards so it looks like magic.

 

Basically "One man, thousands of houses, millions of presents. Ever wondered where he does his Christmas shopping? The Victoria Centre!"

 

Cocks.

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Anyone remember that badass advert where the two women beat the shit out of each other, then proceeded to engage in a frenzy of lesbian action?

 

Yeah, that was hot.

 

The new coca-cola advert is terrible for a few reasons - but at the end, look at the grin on the Santa's face...'I WILL KILL YOU.'

 

Seriously, it scares me.

 

As for the PSP adverts, I quite like them. The voiceover at the end normally wins it for me. I saw a Wii Advert that sucked the other day, something about a family playing with the Dad saying 'How do you play this one again?' Great way to try and get non-gamers playing a simple console, Nintendo.

 

Pfft.

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