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This happened in China, and it was an attempt to spite the victim - a restaurant owner was forced to pay 10,000 RMB to a woman beaten up by a waiter from his restaurant. He paid the fine in 1 jiao pieces (10 jiao to 1 RMB). It was an utter, utter dick move. And the worst part of it is, the bank had to spend two days counting it all in shifts. @Rummy I've looked at the picture. I don't get it. Does the sign mean no parking like that?

Also: you're porking their daughter.

Yeah, but ReZ is still into kids, so you're alright.

My then-girlfriend and I had just decided to pop into the town for a few bits and pieces that she needed before she went to University. I said "let's just turn on the news, see if we can get the football results". The first plane had hit and the second was on its way, we watched in disbelief as it hit...

It's ok, I've already started sending Louis Tomlinson death threats for scuffing Gabby Agbonlahor's boots.

Actually, everything you are saying is perfectly reasonable. At least, according to your rules. According to their rules, you're in the wrong. And, sadly, in their house, the rules are the rules that they set out. With her father, you are never going to win, so don't try. He is accustomed to being the one who is in charge and to have another man arguing with him is only going to turn him against you. The mum is the one you really need on your side: ultimately she's the one who can sway the father. However, it does seem like she's taking the piss. Anyone who says "You don't do anything for me" after a day of ferrying her around clearly doesn't appreciate what you do for her. Normally it would be best to just say "Well, here's a list of things I've done for you lately" but then she'd respond "OH! How undutiful a son in law you are! You keep a record of all these things, you think it's a chore to help me!" Basically you don't win. Question: do you pay rent?

Oh God, Carol Danvers is supposed to have charisma and sex appeal. Katee Sackhoff has neither.

Quote of the week there.

W-tothe-A-tothe-N-tothe-K-tothe-E-tothe-R. Remy on loan. Brilliant. A player who didn't want to come to us before now deigns to sign for us on loan because QPR got relegated. Phew. That's plugged a hole, thank goodness.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-23920336 Perhaps best known in recent years because of the film Frost/Nixon, Sir David was a fixture of my childhood through Breakfast with Frost. He died aboard the cruise ship Queen Elizabeth of a heart attack at the age of 74.

Um... No. I already have a smartphone which is way smarter than me. To be shown up by a watch would be...embarassing.

Star Fox 64, Mario Kart, Professor Layton, Final Fantasy Theatrythm... ....ANIMAL CROSSING.* *A newer game, but get it because... cucumbers are NOT pewcumbers.

TERRAHAWKS.. stay on this channel, this is an emergency!

Also known as "Six million sperm and YOU were the fastest? Oh, dear..."

I also hate the Daily Mail, but the guy kinda makes my point for me.

I guess the response to this is dictated by whether or not you believe Snowden and Greenwald have committed crimes. The fact is they have committed crimes, the question is do you support the law in this case?

My Iron Man action figure collection, estimated to be the largest mint-in-package Iron Man-exclusive collection in the world. Check out my Instagram feed "narsfweasels" to see them. Video games as well. Particularly the Elder Scrolls and Fallout New Vegas. Morrowind to this day is my favourite game of all-time, ten years after its release.

In the absolute strictest sense, no. But in the sense that the release of this information may lead to an increase of terror threats, then yes.

1: Snowdon released classified info. Illegal in ANY country in the world. 2: Greenwald took the info and reported on it. 3: His partner might have some knowledge of how much more information has been obtained or other people looking to sell official secrets. 4: The info also related to GCHQ, British Intelligence. Releasing it almost comes under the heading of theft of state secrets. Any intelligence service wouldn't pass up the opportunity to have a word. And the Guardian reporting on this? How wonderfully meta.

I find it difficult to blame Alan Pardew. He's the right sort of manager for the club we are at the moment - mid-to-bottom-table. Because, let's face it, we're never going to get a really fantastic manager any time soon. Nor do the management of the club deserve it: Mike Ashley really does seem to have a ridiculous idea of how to make the team competitive. While I appreciate him getting rid of most of our debts, the quality of football last season was an embarassment. There was investment, but there has not been consistent investment: more like buy a few players, then see what happens. Tinkering, almost.

Terribly sorry to hear that old sunshine, if you need a shoulder, drop me a line.

..."is it me you're looking for?"

Er... thanks! I'd better be doing some research then I suppose... You're alright if we wait until Christmas for this, yeah?

Fair enough. @Jonnas?