Raining_again

because i'm gonna go around saying that when I know he could see it... no he does not know about this place. Its better for me to talk to relatively anonymous people on the internet than go mental and explode, or talk to someone in real life who will know exactly who he is. He's definitely not a ninty fan.... sorry :P

Boyfriend told me he was abused as a child (full story in relationship thread) Granny is dying Aunt has a tumour wrapped around her aorta and there is nothing they can do to treat her In the past 6 months i've suffered from a really bad infection, and broke out in blisters all over my face. (impetigo) Not only was it as sore as hell, the infection was on the back of my neck and threatening to travel into my spine. Suuuuuuufuckingperb All the stress has been relapsing my daily migraines I need a hug

Yeah I hope so too, thanks I tried to find help in the ice cream tub Yeah it was worse not knowing. I knew just by looking at him trying to spit it out several times over that it was hard for him to say. I am the only person in the world he has told (apart from someone at the time of incident who told him to stop being silly) and I'm not going to give up on him. Yeah it really is. I cried my eyes out in front of him (would you believe I'm really not normally a crier) and he held my hands and told me that he knows he loves me (even if he can't feel it now) and told me I was the single thing pulling him through this. Thank you for that. For all those years he has bottled it up, and just that slight reminder on facebook brought it all up Its been like a light switch, complete change over in an instant. I'm so scared for him and I just hope he can pull himself through. I told him that he has to do it himself, but i am always here for him every single step of the way if he needs me. I just need to remember to look after me from time to time so I don't go crazy lol In a way it makes a lot of sense, I always wondered why he had such a out of character hatred for religion... it was a priest that abused him

holy fuck. There are no words for how I feel right now. We met up this weekend to talk. Turns out something was on his mind. We went out for a walk and he just wasn't talking to me. I figured it was something big so I just gave him the time. We got in and sat down. And he foofed and faffed about trying to say something for ages, like it was on the tip of his tongue. Eventually he told me - he was abused by someone when he was younger and he came across someone talking about said person on facebook... which brought it all back. He said that he has no feelings for anyone or anything. His best friend and basically like a brother tried to hug him a few days ago and he was horrified. He wouldn't sit with me or hug me. He looked into my eyes and said... "i know i should feel love for you when i look at you, I want to, but I just feel nothing". To which point the tears started tripping down my face. Mostly because I know how desperate that numbness is.. He took me to the bedroom for some sexytimes (not through my initiation), and his whole demeanor changed. I just knew in his eyes that he was forcing himself to do this in the hope of something. There was no love or tenderness at all. It felt like he was just going through the motions. However he has seen his GP and by now will have seen a specialist counselor, so... fingers crossed it helps.. We've agreed that space is needed for both of us, but we're staying together. I just hope I can stick out the ride... TIME FOR ICE CREAM

I haven't been to the gym in months. Fuck infections. Mehh. Motivate me KNEEEEEEEEE.

I'm going up to his later on today so we'll have the big conversation then...

So....I think he's having a mental breakdown, or I'm soon to be getting dumped. His personality has changed completely. Won't talk to me about anything and shows me very little affection. Compared to him being embarrassingly lovely in private (which I enjoyed anyway).... to nothing. He has had issues with changes to his work rota, and general troubles with work which does effect our relationship, but to me its not an end game. Feels like he's just given up and completely withdrawn. Normally when he is not working (he doesn't work thursdays) he is texting me a news feed of all the random goings on, but today, not a thing. Yet hes posting random crap on facebook... My heart is breaking into pieces

obviously the "keeping it" process involves taking it to the vet to check it over and see if it has a microchip..... d'uh

KEEEEEP IT!!!!

territorial army. Its a part time army employment where you can work in a normal job and get called up as required

Well, I am going out with him, what do you expect?

I spoke to my GP about my anxiety and depression issues and it was the best thing I ever did. Don't be scared of the possibility of going on antidepressants either, they're so worth it

Eat my internets My other half has virgin cable that is about 110/120m.... so much internets...

Yayyyyyyyy Shani! He's been very honest with me, which is a positive thing, read the message while I was there. I know he's not gonna leave me. Its more like me being very protective of him. The whole breakup was apparently a whole misunderstanding (he said he wanted to stop house hunting just for a bit, she took it as stop being together) which she says she was only told of now (they broke up mid last year) and she was sorry etc. They had a lot of mutual friends which I believe made things very awkward. And he has trust issues because of that. I've had to pick up enough of the pieces shes left behind - he constantly thinks I'm going to leave him. And I don't want her to come into his life again and wreck the friendships he has managed to salvage from the first time around!

Hmmmm. He met his ex girlfriend on Monday. She sent him a message on facebook basically saying she didn't want him back BUT (there's always a but, right?) she realises now that he was the best thing she ever had in her life. Wanted to be friends with him again. I trust him totally, but I don't trust her. That's girl-speak for IWANTYOUBACK (ooh ooh babbbyyy) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

my iphone is broken but its still in its warrantee. Yay!

ohh the feels..... lol I hate sharing a bed. Not worth the cuddles at all, ever.

Yes, me and mine went for the hoodie look too. It was cold in November!!

I think folk outside of Ireland celebrate it more than we do... Either way a public holiday is win win

Aww man I'm bummed... I missed all that crockload of shit stereotypical junk being spewed about women. @nightwolf - he got you cider and KFC.... dont ever let him go

My boyfriend doesn't think he is good enough for me. Because he gets paid less, and for a few other reasons. I love him to bits and I really don't know how I can make him feel any better asides telling him that he is enough. Halp?

So... I never got asked out... Get a fella in November, since then I've been asked out twice.... da....fuck. Am I emitting some kind of awesomeness? Also; thanks for the replies re my "problem" I did read them all at the time I've come to accept and love the fact that I'm with my best friend

leftover mash bacon 1 egg lots of cheese salt & pepper pre cook bacon, mix all ingredients together, coat with a small amount of flour or breadcrumbs, and fry or bake (I fried mine)

I'm no longer a terminator sadly.. was at physio and could barely do the rehab (that I'm doing for my hip) without being completely exhausted.. and it was less than what I used to do for a warm up!

I've been solidly sick for about three months, between infections and a massively swollen neck. Had bloods taken. on one hand, just coincidental infections because of meds... may blow over. on the other hand - my organs failing from 10 years of toxic meds.. have to come off said meds and the severity of my psoriasis hits my health instead lol