dwarf

You've made me want to play KZ again, ffs. Such a love/hate relationship. Downloading will take just shy of 2 hours.

Dear Man City, Wheyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! Yours, Dwarf

Based on the first video (people might have mentioned this stuff already, plus I'm sorry if I sound like I'm speaking with any authority whatsoever): I think you just need to focus on your writing a bit more. The premise has potential, and the voice fits, but more attention needs to be put into identifying exactly what makes the situation funny, and there needs to be funnier word combinations for the punchlines. After aunty gets munched I think something like 'it's a bit of a downer really' would work better than 'it's a terrible situation'. Or something like that. You get where I'm coming from. A little tightening and you're there, cut any flab that doesn't add anything to the comedy. Some phatic is useful of course. The tiger is too much (like The Hangover), dial it back. The first couple of messages need to be somewhat innocuous before they build. But you were pretty much on the right track. Example idea - Dad calling about the bath being unclean and asking Simon to rinse it out after use. Then leaving another message the following day explaining how 'the plughole is blocked and I'd rather not bathe in another person's pubic hair. I'm not saying it was you Simon but if you find out who's responsible please get in touch'. Round it off with something along the lines of, 'Simon, I speak urgently because this is getting rather out of hand. It's like a flatulent raccoon had a haircut in here and then shat all over the cosmetics. There's excrement everywhere. After using the loofah I looked like a danged aborigine. Now I know for a fact that this wasn't your mother because I demanded she trim her Eden before we went on our Wimbledon weekend away. Hmm. Having said that it did get stubbly again quite rapidly... Anyway, do call back as this is a matter of priority.' That would obviously need work and racism is kinda cheating, but that piece is already comedic in the first call - why would a father call his son about the condition of the family bathtub? Alan Partridge is worth looking at closer because it's all about those funny little words you don't often hear, it's about minute detail, and it's about personality. For me, I find it hard to remain consistent when I try to write a piece of comedy. Sometimes I'll think of a funny line that simply doesn't fit the character, and I'll shove it in anyway. If a character is inconsistent and self-contradictory, they are no longer credible and they stop being funny. Some ideas HAVE to be dropped. If you're lucky the idea will give you a better angle and you can frame the whole piece differently, or the joke can be reworked.

What about St. Jon?

New Stardust is free? Fuck yes. Back when I was cool I used that 'bleep' as my text tone. Playing KZ2 whilst in a text conversation made it feel like I was getting mega kill-streaks in the match! But that was only for one day when I got message offers from Vodaphone and Dominoes, it hasn't happened since.

@Cube @ReZourceman @Daft @Cookyman @Rowan @MadDog @JonSt @MATtheHAT Unch multiwin at some time this week?

Was planning to but I tried Rayman Origins first and then realised I wouldn't have to play another 2D platformer ever again. I'll give it a go. Ibb and Obb was shit, don't bother downloading the demo. I thought it was that awesome looking Hohokum game and I grew seriously disappointed very quickly

You're an idiot, past me. Play the demo.

What trailer are those gifs from?

The trees in driving games have always looked terrible, it's especially noticeable in GT because everything else looks so shiny and detailed. The trees in this are decent though. ORDERED! (lol)

Christ, can't they just release this already?

Do want. Surprised it's retailing for that price though.

The maturity level was getting high? More like you're getting high Shorty, owwwhhhhh! Seriously though, can we nip the fascism in the bud please? Freedom of expression and all that.

I hadn't given it much thought but it'll be nice to see the consoles handle a 60 player Battlefield match now. Console versions of BF were always slightly borked because of the limited playercount and maps that were designed for larger scale skirmishes.

I usually find there's ample space for apps on phones and tablets, merely for dicking around casually. I'd buy a Vita for the more fleshed out games, but that's where the memory problem arises, because at this moment in time the technology isn't at the stage where memory is physically small but impressive in storage and cost terms. The market has changed. I believe demand for Vita experiences is high, it just needs to be delivered in a less shitty way. Apple wouldn't have put out this sort of product (let's not get petty over that remark btw).

It's something you shouldn't have to think/worry about. Before I buy the system I have no idea what my total expenditure on the hardware will be in the long run. For me it's all about convenience. Plus is gushing with Vita content now, it would be nice to download it all to the system and try the odd new game out when you feel like it.

To store a reasonable amount of games on the Vita you'll want a 32GB card, which effectively adds 25% onto the system's price tag, and even that amount of storage won't be enough for an avid player. The inconvenience of memory is the biggest barrier to me getting the system. Needing multiple cards is fucking ridiculous in this day and age, it just isn't worth the hassle. When I stump up a lot of money for a mobile device (tariffs aside) I expect that to be it, no mumbo jumbo. Call me an entitled bastard but that's the honest truth. Everything needs to be in one place.

That's still outrageous.

Journey, Shadow of the Colossus, The Witness Legit

It sounds like a US sitcom. Change the name.

That red controller is rad as fuck like

I'll probably download it only to ignore it FOREVER.

The Stardust sequel looks naughty. Anything else? Don't remember.

Schools and universities are buzzing with students who get the thing day 1 because they care about the latest transfers and additions to the game. It's like renewing a membership except it's much more exciting, most of them won't wait a month or more.