EEVILMURRAY

Every role she has should have the title: "Talentless bitch whose lips don't meet."

I have a WUW [Wake-Up-Wank], pronounced like were. Start the day with a bang.

Those feet best be made out of card, or they won't hold fuck all.

The only keyring I have is that Union Jack thing which came with a similarly designed wallet as a Birthday present. The corners on that thing were sharp as fuck, so I scraped them on the brickwork of my house, smoothed them out a treat. The other thing is a nut I found on the floor and commandeered when I was with my step dad as he was building halls of residence at Nottingham University. It is known as my Lucky Nut. Key lowdown is as follows, right to left: Two house keys for uni. Bike lock [not a car key] Normal house key. Padlock on my room key. I used to have my keys in the right pocket of my coat all the time, but that chain is now used so the keys are in my back pocket, not as a prickish fashion statement with the kiddies who have 20 chains rattling around with no practical use.

Bloody 'ell lasseh, no external hard drive?

Those people who think I wish to hear their RnB shit by driving by slow as fuck with their windows down.

You want to foil me? Is this some sort of gay chat up line? Me and my housemate annoy oneanother sometimes, recently there has been a fart war of sorts, apparently I fart in his room, which occasionally I do but it isn't the sole purpose of my visit. On two occasions he's just walked in, turned round, farted in my general direction and walked off. So some point this week I'm going to take a trip round to Maryland, an awesome chicken establishment that gives you the most phenomenal farts you've ever smelt.

OUTRAGEOUS.

When he goes on an "insult spree", you might as well show the autocue it looks like he's reading from.

I got to the 10 min mark before I decided to stop being bored. However my housemate has recommended him, and he seems to have a review on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the NES which I owned. I shall check some of his earlier works. EDIT: This dude is talking utter bullshit about Turtles. He goes on about dying when all you need to do is switch to another turtle. I used to be able to do that Dam level when I was 5 in about a minute. He puts no emotion into his insults so the humour isn't coming through for me. I do like the way he thinks he's being slick by taking a swig of the beer every now and then.

The Haunter one.

It's certainly something.

Sunny Leicester.

Likewise..

Well done. Or at least she will be once I'm done.

I went home this weekend because I had a hospital appointment, and Mother's Day fitted nicely in. Whenever something came on TV I said "Do you want that?" And she said no. Finally she said yes on that Thriller 25 thing. Which I bought with an expensive card. Got the step-mum a card as well. Always does good to grease the wheels. j00 ungrateful sod O_O I assume you get nothing for christmas based on this logic from your family

I'm sure I've lost my wallet or phone sometime, but I can't for the life of me remember. I have that with my keys. pr0 safeness.

I demand the next shade to be... Blue and styled like Sonic.

Bit late b33r.

Course you are sweetheart.

"When I die, I want to be buried face down, so whoever doesn't like me can kiss my ass." Cremation please.

I agree, the evolution is all the more impressive.

No you're getting it wrong. He is having something removed from his penis. He's not having one fitted. Freak.

Not a bad rack either.

The fits I have were more shaky than last night.