Dog-amoto

Got to say, if any team deserves to win it, it'd be Barnsley. Shame football doesn't always work like that though huh?

Happy Mario Day everyone! (MAR 10)

Got to say I'm pretty gutted about last night - we dominated the game from start to finish, but just defended too deep for their equaliser. Gonna be tough going to Lisbon and getting a win.

I've put a new video up to help with roundabouts, as it's something people can struggle with - it just helps you to know when to pull out, I'll post another one soon to show which lane to go in and how to signal, but there's already loads of those out there Any feedback is appreciated!

Dear Neville, I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbour making mad passionate love to her. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her rescue but found her unconscious. He'd carried the woman back to our house, laid her in bed, and began CPR. When she awoke she immediately began thanking him and kissing him and he was attempting to break free when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them had any clothes on, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him any more. Can you please help? Sincerely, Mrs. Sheila Usk Dear Sheila, A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburettor float chamber. I hope this helps. Neville

This puts me off flying a bit!!

Sorry, I put the code in wrong!! Should work now!

Yeah, I know this has already been posted in the funny videos thread, but I thought it deserved one of it's own. Here's the vid Personally, I think it's fake. I think the soldiers found an already dead puppy and threw it off for a joke, albeit, a sick one. But this has sparked major outrage. People have posted the guy's name, address and telephone number on the internet and loads of people are phoning up going mad! Like I said, I think the puppy is already dead and the sounds have been edited in. This thread is to discuss whether the video is real or not, and whether people are blindly believing what they see.

I once rang somebody that I barely knew at work (internal call) and said "Hi, it's Rob. I'm just calling to say that I can't talk right now, goodbye" Did it on a dare Childish humour is the best!

Dear Skeletor. For those who remember the '80s cartoon... Clicky

This is a letter sent to Dear Deirdre of the Sun newspaper. I am a sailor in the merchant navy. My parents live in South London and one of my sisters, who lives in Brixton is married to a guy from Liverpool. My mother and father have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependant on my two sisters who are prostitutes. I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Wormwood Scrubs for the rape and murder of a teenage boy in 1994, the other is currently being held in Wandsworth on charges of incest on his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who is still a part time 'working girl' in a brothel, however her time there is limited as she has recently been infected with an STD. We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel with my fiancé utilising her knowledge of the industry working as a manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would at least get them off the streets, and hopefully the heroin. My problem is this: I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family, and of course I want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my brother-in-law being a scouser?

I saw one once that said something along the lines of "...if this sign has been stolen, please call 0800....."

How do people like their toast? Which bread, do you have margarine, butter, marmalade, jam, nutella, marmite? Mine would be Warburtons Premium Brown bread and butter. Am not a big fan of sweet stuff on my toast!

Let's not forget Castle of Illusion. Though I preferred the Master System version

Mc Roll'D

Bollocks. We haven't lost to Liverpool at the Reebok for ages too. We're in big trouble this season!

Yay! Oasis have finally done something worthwhile!! Frank Sinatra http://www.animatronics.org/strangers/strangers.htm

Me and the girlfriend were in a silly mood last night, so we decided to do a streak around the block in the pissing rain and howling wind. Was funny

Ha ha! That's awesome!

Well, it's not a big problem, but it's a bit annoying. I have a standard box, when I got home today, I switched it on and it was on channel 998, I think it goes to this when it's been reset. Anyway, a lot of channels automatically change my TV settings to 4:3 so I end up getting the black bars on the side of the screen. After I change the settings back to widescreen, it changes back on it's own after about 5 minutes. What gives??

Be Kind Rewind Don't normally like Jack Black films but I have to say I really enjoyed this one. Would give the film itself a 6/10, but the remakes of the films had me pissing myself and I'd give those a 10/10 so overall, I'd give this... 8/10 It's worth watching for the remakes alone!

Well, that's one thing we can agree on then. Monty Python is the pinnacle of all things comedy Like I mentioned before, Superbad is funny, but it won't be as well remembered because the gross out moments aren't as good. Whether that's the right thing to judge a film on or not is debatable, but this is just a fact of life. People tend to remember films through their standout moments and not because of their dialogue. That comment was made to state that I wasn't trying to compare AP and RT's dialogue to that of Superbad. I never once mentioned that the pie humping scene was a highlight. I just said that it was the most memorable. I just meant that in 10 years time, more people will remember AP than Superbad. Simple fact. Don't get so worked up over it!!

What dialogue? You mean the part where Fogell tells that girl what time it is? Or the fact that Seth is upset because Evan was going to a different school? Really great. If you want witty dialogue then try watching something like Frasier. I used the blood joke to compare it to other gross out moments in comedies and to state that it wouldn't be that memorable. I mentioned nothing about the dialogue. I don't compare a fight scene in a Van Damme movie to the dialogue in a Tarantino movie!! Tsk! Like I mentioned in my previous post, Superbad was funny, there were a few great moments - just not that funny as to be hailed as the second coming like loads of people have. And anyway, it's all subjective. Some people don't find Monty Python funny, others find it the funniest thing ever made. Amen to that!

The main problem I had with Superbad is it didn't know how or when to end. I found myself looking at my watch and getting bored for the last 15 minutes, probably around the time that the cops were explaining that they just wanted to appear cool to a nerdy kid. I mean, that was just really lazy writing. Couldn't they have found a more sensible and funnier explanation? And generally, although the observation of teen life and the delivery were pretty good, the gags themselves just weren't that funny. American Pie did the gross out jokes better than Superbad. The dick drawing joke went on for too long, and the cops, even though they were funny, should have just been limited to a cameo appearance. The bottom line is that in 10 years time, people will still remember the pie humping joke, or the semen as hairgel gag from There's Something About Mary, but I doubt that people will remember this film as much, menstrual blood on the knee or not. Everything in this film had been done 10 years ago by Road Trip and American Pie, and they did a much better job.

I slept through it too. That sucks!