Posted August 7, 2012 Asides from not hurting baby no more, and other jokes associated. I've wanted to tear this thought away from the hyperthread that is the N-E relationships thread. What is love? What does love mean to you? What are you expecting from a partner-to-be, or what is it that you get from an existing partner that you take to be love? I don't care for definitions of familiar love, or love for a favourite album. I don't mind to hear how the concept of love for these things differs in comparison to what the definition of love was made for - the deep, unconstrained involvement with another's life. But what, to you, differs this love from merely being a really close friend? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 7, 2012 Will anybody read this title and not sing, "baby don't hurt me" in their head? As for love, I'm afraid I no very little of it. Only had one serious relationship that lasted for 2 years, although it "ended" long before that. I wouldn't say I was "in love" with her. I could never really see myself staying with her for the rest of my life. Personally I think Disney/Hollywood has warped people's expectations and perceptions of "true love". Does such a thing exist? Personally I see it as statistics. If we take the amount of compatibility to be normally distributed, then most people would be fairly compatible with us, as you increase the amount of compatibility the less amount of people would fall within that region. Therefore the more people you meet, the more likely you are of finding somebody who has high levels of compatibility with you. Although I imagine Odders/Grunch/some other maths/stats boffin will come and tell me I'm talking shit. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 7, 2012 Baby don't hurt me? Edit - shit joke was done twice already, teach me for not reading first. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 7, 2012 I suppose it's when there is someone who makes more bits of your brain light up than even your best friends. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 7, 2012 For me, it's someone who cares about you very strongly and accepts who you are and doesn't try to change you, whether you have the same tastes or not. Love, for me, is someone who loves you no matter what. With my next girlfriend, I expect what I have said above from her. If she can give me that, I'll be a very happy man and I, too, will do the same thing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 7, 2012 I want to know what love is! I want you to show me. Seriously, I've never loved anyone, I have no idea. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 7, 2012 Love is what many people believe they feel when they actually have a slight neurochemical imbalance due to the attraction towards someone. It fades fast. People's perceptions of it have been warped by the media that they believe that a simple attraction is love. I have heard so many instances from friends lately of them bieng in love or someone saying they love them after mere days/weeks. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 7, 2012 Love is what many people believe they feel when they actually have a slight neurochemical imbalance due to the attraction towards someone. It fades fast. When you say fast, do you mean something like 18 months, or much longer/shorter? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 7, 2012 It varies depending on the person Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 7, 2012 Love to me is a feeling of not wanting to lose that one person and to make sure they're okay. To have them there with you, to share life with them and when they aren't with you, not feeling fully okay about it. Love is sexual and intimate as well, an attraction that goes beyond just the physical. This is what I have and it's bloody awesome xx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 7, 2012 For me, it's someone who cares about you very strongly and accepts who you are and doesn't try to change you, whether you have the same tastes or not. Love, for me, is someone who loves you no matter what. With my next girlfriend, I expect what I have said above from her. If she can give me that, I'll be a very happy man and I, too, will do the same thing.Sorry, but whether it's intended or not, she will want to change you. And some changes are definitely for the best. Others are taken as orders, and some are thinly veiled as 'compromise'. But you say "love is ... someone who loves you no matter what" but that's begging the question! Love is someone who loves you, so they love you because you love them? No. What is love? :P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 7, 2012 I think he's emphasising the "no matter what" bit and claiming it needs consistent affection even in bleak circumstances. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 7, 2012 Yeah, I get that. It's still important to see what these expectations are that people have. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 7, 2012 Love to me is a feeling of not wanting to lose that one person and to make sure they're okay. To have them there with you, to share life with them and when they aren't with you, not feeling fully okay about it. Love is sexual and intimate as well, an attraction that goes beyond just the physical. This is what I have and it's bloody awesome xx You lucky bastards. Beautifully put, btw. Love? I have no idea. Attraction, playful affection I can definitely feel, but after all the syrupy "all is love" yoga bullshit I've gone through, I'm now rather fed up with such hyperbolic, hypersensitive crap. Yes, I can care about people, but I don't have to make a fucking number out of it. It's just not me. O fair lady, my heart will belong to you forever and ever, my dear shining light of radiant beauty, let me embrace you in my tender arms for now and eternity. Your complexion so bright and pure, your hair flowing and shimmering like a wild, restless river under the grateful sun of my eye. Your lips, so full and...oh sorry, will you excuse me while I go *puke puke puuuuuuukeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 7, 2012 I used to think that I knew the answer to the question 'What is love?' but now... ...I can't even pretend that I know the answer because quite honestly I'm clueless. This feels pretty relevant to me right now. So in summary... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 8, 2012 When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's Am-Shit, wrong language On a more serious note, Love is a combination of deep understanding, care and affection between two people. Familial love is the most common of the sort, but it can happen between close friends as well. It's not really exclusive to romance. For that matter, people need to stop confusing "love" with "passion". Passion is that thing that exists while your relationship is young. When everything feels new, when you try all sorts of things, when you're still starting to know this new person you're involved with. Love is what endures beyond that. The person you live for, the person you want to come back to every night, the person you'll always be happy to see, even if you don't realise it. It is because of this that true love tends to stay when times are hard. Mutual love is hard to find in a romantic relationship. Count yourself among the lucky few, if you did. The modern usage of the word blurs it with "passion", however (this would be the "media definition" that Serebii mentioned), so it is thrown around far more liberally than it should, these days. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 8, 2012 Love is where two people, by chance or by intention, are good and kind hearted enough to give each other a chance. It's where the word vicarious loses all meaning because your feelings are so intimately intertwined together, and when you start to do shit that you wouldn't even do for yourself, just because someone else's sense of pride and happiness hangs on your shoulders. There's also no such thing as the "right" person, or the "perfect" partner. I write this fully aware that the 13 year old me would have called me a massive gaylord. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 8, 2012 (edited) Love is a feeling. You don't explain love, you feel it or you don't. Although that doesn't make for an interesting discussion. All of these things that people are saying... that isn't love. Love makes you do those things. Love causes you to want others to be happy even if it might mean your own misery. Love isn't wanting to be with someone forever, being in love makes you want to be with someone forever. Absence of love can be just as powerful. If you want to achieve love, you feel motivated to be a better 'you'. You work out, diet, study, dress well etc, all because you don't have love and you want it. Edited August 8, 2012 by The Peeps Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 8, 2012 Love is a chemical reaction... But aside from that, love is a pretty odd emotion to have, it's never really the same with each person, at least in my relationships! For me, the best way to put it is enjoying someone's company to a particular extent, wanting to be around them, wanting to share with them. Almost like a best friend but with the added 'I want to jump you' feeling. Love is a difficult one to describe. I'm in agreement with Bard, there is no perfect person, no soul mates. My Dad and his two wives are the example of this. But then this means that there's always a chance at love if the person you did fall in love with originally leaves/passes away/etc. Its a nice feeling, but it comes with downsides, depending on the relationship and its certainly not the nicest feeling if things don't work out. But yes, love, etc...good stuff! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 8, 2012 So many thoughts feelings and expressions rolling around in my head, and I can't put them into words. Three attempts at posting in here, and I really can't form half a cohesive thought as to what is love. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 8, 2012 I think it's the feeling I started having for my bird after she had the boob job! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 8, 2012 I think love's too complicated to define, especially romantic love. I think real, proper, strong love has to have the basis of all loves, such as theorised by the Triangular Theory of Love. I don't think about love in a partner-to-be sense too much really, because I feel it's always all to over-romanticised, though I do think quite often about the general idea of 'love' in all its other forms. The simplest way I think about love though, is that it should always be able to make you smile, one of those really stupid goofy smiles. If it can't, then I'm not sure if it's love. Surely it should make you happy, no? Maybe happiness is love, and love happiness! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 8, 2012 Love is what many people believe they feel when they actually have a slight neurochemical imbalance due to the attraction towards someone. It fades fast. Love is a chemical reaction... How romantic. I'm not sure you can really define exactly what it is. For me, it's the best kind of friendship, where you feel totally comfortable in somebody's company. I think real love should be "easy", where I guess it feels effortless. Like you don't have to try your hardest to make a conversation, or to think of something funny to say. It just happens by itself naturally. I guess it stems from happiness, where you might not be doing the most exciting thing with somebody else (at that particular moment), but you still feel happy that you're doing it with them. It's a bit like magic, where something that seems ordinary is actually something else entirely. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
