Love? Relationships? Boy girl stuff? Complaints and appraisals! Gifs be welcome.

[Magnus]

Well... maybe the guys were hot.

________________________________

 

Nice guys expecting girls to fall in love with them just because they're nice is like LGBT allies expecting praise because they treat people with different sexual orientations with the same respect afforded to heterosexuals. You don't deserve a prize for being a decent human being!

 

Also, it's really creepy to act like you're only being nice to get laid.

[Emma]

Nah, I don't think a girl HAS to like you just because you're nice. My gripe was that girls say they want a nice guy who does this, that and the other and then they go for the exact opposite and then complain. Guys probably do this as well but I've experienced it with girls more so.

 

Girls do want 'nice guys' (I cringe typing that) but there's no way to know how 'nice' someone is until you spend a great length of time in a relationship with them. Plus these girls who moan to you, they'll only tell you the bad stuff, which will be biased and one-sided.

 

All these guys on the blog say they're 'nice' but they're clearly not, as they're only saying it so they get sex. Which is why girls don't go for them (and plenty of other funny reasons)

[Diageo]

I'm pretty sure when girls say they want nice guys, they assume you know that she means a nice guy with attractive features and a personality they find interesting. No girl says they want a guy that is just nice but not any of the other things.

[MoogleViper]

I'm pretty sure when girls say they want nice guys, they assume you know that she means a nice guy with attractive features and a personality they find interesting. No girl says they want a guy that is just nice but not any of the other things.

 

I think it's more about the ones who say that they want a nice guy, but then go and date complete douchebags. And then complain that all men are the same.

 

And worst of all, "Why can't I find a guy like you?"

[Ellmeister]

Because " a guy like you" means someone who talks to me all the time but is actually better looking than you. They don't actually mean YOU.

 

Saying you're 'nice' doesn't get you anywhere. In fact it may work against you and people think you must be no good at relationships if you feel the need to describe yourself as 'nice'.

[ReZourceman]

I'm a fucking horrendous guy and I've got a chick.

 

 

 

 

Although, thats more about entrapment and is a different subject altogether.

[Fierce_LiNk]

I'm a fucking horrendous guy and I've got a chick.

 

 

 

 

Although, thats more about entrapment and is a different subject altogether.

 

Yes. Yeeeees. And Claire is hawt, too.

 

Living proof that imprisonment does work.

[MoogleViper]

Because " a guy like you" means someone who talks to me all the time but is actually better looking than you. They don't actually mean YOU.

 

So basically, "Why can't you be not ugly?"

[Ellmeister]

I wouldn't say it is just about looks. Ugly people can still get with other ugly people! Look at Ashley and his mirror!

[MoogleViper]

I wouldn't say it is just about looks. Ugly people can still get with other ugly people! Look at Ashley and his mirror!

 

Or Ashley and y-

 

Too easy.

[Ellmeister]

Yeah that's another problem, being too keen/easy.

[Ashley]

Or Ashley and y-

 

Too easy.

 

He's Essex though. They're all easy.

 

Anyway. You realise by merely stating that you're a "nice guy" makes you a dick because it basically says "I'm better than everyone else/a lot of others and if you don't like me then the problem is with you". As Emma said, nice is expected. I don't think women go on OKCupid expecting everyone to live up to Chris Brown's standards.

 

Saying "I'm a nice guy" sounds more like you have a chip on your shoulder about your own lack of a relationship, rather than being a genuine statement.

[Cube]

He's Essex though. They're all easy.

 

Over there, being easy is the only way.

[Beast]

I think it's more about the ones who say that they want a nice guy, but then go and date complete douchebags. And then complain that all men are the same.

 

And worst of all, "Why can't I find a guy like you?"

 

 

This. This is exactly what I'm saying. Moogle said it better than I did and is 100% what I'm trying to say, sorry! But yeah, these are the type that kind of irritate me. Of course, I don't expect girls to fall to my feet because I say I'm nice and I don't expect an award or something either but the type of girls Moogle described are the type of girls I'm talking about.

 

I also hate it when they say that line as well! I'm right here, bitch! And I'm bloody ridiculously good-looking too! :p

 

He's Essex though. They're all easy.

 

Anyway. You realise by merely stating that you're a "nice guy" makes you a dick because it basically says "I'm better than everyone else/a lot of others and if you don't like me then the problem is with you". As Emma said, nice is expected. I don't think women go on OKCupid expecting everyone to live up to Chris Brown's standards.

 

Saying "I'm a nice guy" sounds more like you have a chip on your shoulder about your own lack of a relationship, rather than being a genuine statement.

 

I disagree with that. If you're nice and you know you're nice, why not say you are? I'm not exactly a horrible bastard! I don't go round saying "I'm nice so that makes me better than you!" or anything like that. I'm nice as in I'll ask how your day was, I'd give you a smile, I'll laugh and joke and be friendly and as I said before, there's no special treatment and this isn't to get into women's knickers but because I treat everybody like this. Obviously, if you treat me like a mug, I don't want to know but that's normal.

[Raining_again]

I'll come out and say it, I can't stand overly nice guys.

 

I don't like it when guys ask me how I am constantly, or want to do things for me, or buy me too many expensive presents. But thats likely to be my sub personality attracted to arrogant dom men.... :p

 

But then that seems to always lead me into the wrong path..... But you can't change what you're attracted to, so I'll just keep plodding along and hope that one day it works out with someone lol

[Magnus]

But thats likely to be my sub personality attracted to arrogant dom men.... :p

Raining's ideal relationship: Fifty Shades of Grey?

[ipaul]

@Emma Reading that blog:

 

 

=

 

 

I'm not really sure what I put my own lack of a relationship down to (3 years and counting now, woo!), but it certainly isn't being too nice. I'm not particularly 'nice', at least in the sense that I imagine most people using it really mean. I'm perfectly pleasant and courteous, but 'nice' often seems to really mean saccharine, nauseating, a walkover with a lack of individuality. Now obviously this is a generalisation but that's the image a 'nice guy/person' conjures up if they are describing themselves as nice.

 

I think mainly my lack of effort in the area means I stay single. I never really bother myself to try and find someone because when it comes down to it, I'm quite happy and comfortable just being single. Apart from anything I'm just quite particular. That's not to say I'm one of these guys who say 'Oh my standards are very high' - this strikes me as code for 'I don't get laid much and this bothers me, so here's a lame excuse I use to console myself with'. Rather, I'm quite a peculiar guy when it comes down to it and it takes something/someone very particular to really captivate my attention much. Also, I'm very happy with who I am but my personality isn't as immediate as would be ideal for the whole dating lark. I'm usually fairly laid back and quiet on first meeting, you might say I play my cards close to my chest if you want to bandy around clichés. A little while ago one of my closest friends said he thinks people probably think I'm quite stuck up when they first meet me and far from being offended, I agreed. It makes sense, at least in my social circles back home - I'd be majorly surprised if anyone thought I was stuck up at university.

 

tl;dr Single, content with it, don't see any reason girls should be falling at my feet, feeling good.

 

[Ashley]

I disagree with that. If you're nice and you know you're nice, why not say you are? I'm not exactly a horrible bastard! I don't go round saying "I'm nice so that makes me better than you!" or anything like that. I'm nice as in I'll ask how your day was, I'd give you a smile, I'll laugh and joke and be friendly and as I said before, there's no special treatment and this isn't to get into women's knickers but because I treat everybody like this. Obviously, if you treat me like a mug, I don't want to know but that's normal.

 

Because it's expected that you're nice. As you yourself said, you treat everyone in this nice manner, it's common courtesy. Outright saying it seems like you're trying too hard. If someone said "I'm great in bed" you'd think they were being a dick (no pun intended), and "I'm a nice person" is like the non-sexual version of that. "Yeah ladies, you should date me. I'm niiiiiiiiiice."

 

One of the many off-putting cliches such as "I'm a good listener", "I like going out" or "I enjoy going to the cinema or watching films at home". If those are the things you think are so special about you that you need to put it on your dating profile you need to go white-water rafting, invent an award-winning cocktail and go lick the liberty bell.

 

Nothing personal of course. Just a moan that needed to be had from my brief foray into online dating.

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

I disagree with that. If you're nice and you know you're nice, why not say you are? I'm not exactly a horrible bastard! I don't go round saying "I'm nice so that makes me better than you!" or anything like that. I'm nice as in I'll ask how your day was, I'd give you a smile, I'll laugh and joke and be friendly and as I said before, there's no special treatment and this isn't to get into women's knickers but because I treat everybody like this. Obviously, if you treat me like a mug, I don't want to know but that's normal.

 

And that's really great, but I think you're in the minority there when it comes to professed "nice guys".

 

Humon made a webcomic strip on the topic which I found interesting:

 

[The Bard]

Lol. Why is it always the self proclaimed "nice guys" that always seem to complain about being "friend zoned?" As if being nice to a girl dictates that the relationship should by rights go in a sexual direction.

 

Being "nice" is such a bland, uninteresting trait anyway, why would you claim that to be what defines your character, unless of course, you're using it as a crutch to explain away your supposedly paradoxical lack of success with women?

 

Maybe it's because I've never really had much trouble with women that I don't see the allure of this particular argument, but perhaps stop moaning about it? No girl is ever going to be attracted to a guy who claims to be persistently hard done by.

[MoogleViper]

I've always been "friend-zoned" because I'm fugly. I'm certainly not in denial about that.

 

 

Fucking shallow bitches.

[Ville]

Well, there are so many points here that I just made another video. Hereth:

 

 

Anyway, good discussion guys. I'd say that "being nice" is just a result of a total misunderstanding: guys thinking that normal actions like flirting, teasing and touching are sexual harassment (...), and thus they end up taking the role of an "extra nice and well-behaving, even non-sexual guy".

 

Also, what comes to women complaining about their boyfriends, wishing for "nice guys" yet staying with "assholes"...First of all, like Emma said, talking doesn't mean shit. They're probably just venting stuff for you, because you are there like a nice little puppy taking it over and over again. Prob in the friend zone waiting for smth to happen...well don't, nothing is gonna happen. Might as well leave and start looking for greener pastures. Second, if you're so pissed off about all these talks, why don't you say anything to girls like that? That's basically just sucking up to them, taking all that crap on you and not saying anything...that's exactly what a "nice guy" does, sponges everything up without any resistance, and that's not attractive at all. A normal person with a backbone would halt the discussion and say that they think it's bullshit. Not saying you have to be rude, but state your opinions and call them out on their crap. Or just leave. Either way, don't just stand there listening and "being nice", while inside you're thinking "this is idiotic". Either make a move, state your opinions, or get out.

[MoogleViper]

Also, what comes to women complaining about their boyfriends, wishing for "nice guys" yet staying with "assholes"...First of all, like Emma said, talking doesn't mean shit. They're probably just venting stuff for you, because you are there like a nice little puppy taking it over and over again.

 

I'm talking about girls who are actually with arseholes, not just complaining about boys. In fact the ones with dick head boyfriends are usually the ones that don't complain, probably because they're so blinded to how much of a bell end he is. For example, in school I was close friends with quite a few girls. One of whom had a boyfriend who had cheated on her (I think more than once, but can't remember exactly). Everyone knew that he had cheated, lots of people told her that he had cheated, but she ignored them all and denied it as rumours. She stayed with him for about a year afterwards. And when she dumped him, the typical, "boys are all dicks" speech.

 

Then in uni she got with another bell end. He used to mess her about a lot and I think he also cheated on her (I don't know this one for a fact though, but I do know he split up with her to get with somebody else (and she later got back with him), so I'm guessing he was already cheating before he decided to split). Anyway she would ring me up weekly asking for advice, every time I would tell her that he was obviously using her and that she needed to stand up for herself, she agreed and said she would, needless to say next week I'd receive a phone call with the same sort of stuff. It was around then that I stopped giving relationship advice. What's the point if they're just going to ignore everything you've said?

 

We know girls (and boys, but this conversation is about girls) moan about their partners, and I don't think anybody here is using that as a basis for their partners being dick heads. If anything I'd be more inclined to think that the person complaining was more of a dick head (I wouldn't actually think that, but I always try to look at it from the other person's view, such as when my sister is complaining about her husband, I usually end up defending him, I mean as in, "well look at it from his point of view" and not "you're wrong, he's right").

Edited December 22, 2012 by MoogleViper

[Charlie]

I think a major problem is that a lot of people don't actually know what they want. People think that they want a 'nice guy' but when they find a nice guy they get a bit bored of it. A 'bad guy' (/dickhead) causes a bit of excitement and drama. 'Bad guys' also tend to be more confident, a quality that is extremely attractive.

 

I think more than anything, this is true about younger girls (end of school/18/19ish). They aren't looking for anything serious and just want to have some fun. A 'bad guy' gives them this fun, excitement and drama they can tell their friends about.

 

How many times have you seen a complete chav/ned go with a beautiful girl? It isn't for his looks, that's for sure.

 

I don't think looks have much to do about it, everyone can be attractive and everyone's definition of attractive is different.

[Emma]

Agreeing with a lot of what people have said. All the girls that I know who have been out with, and stayed with guys who have cheated are usually of a younger age (17-20) and wanting a bit of drama. Best stay away from them. Infact, why are these 'nice guys' even attracted to these girls in the first place. Maybe for their own drama and self pity?

 

On a side note. I won a tin of Quality Streets at my school raffle. Sibce found out that all the chocolates I love, Dan hates... and visa versa. Well played okcupid, well played.