Beast Posted January 25, 2017 Posted January 25, 2017 Hmmm can you see it working? My girlfriend doesn't understand gaming but she respects that I love it. Her not understanding it was an issue for me initially but I just figured that you do not need to have completely shared interests with the other half. Gaming I can understand but movies and TV. Like what do you do in the 21st century? Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk
Raining_again Posted January 25, 2017 Posted January 25, 2017 Naaa too much negativity aint so good, especially when they're down on things you love. Thats a real facemelt, I had an ex that did that and i stuck it for 3 months... (it felt bloody longer)
Rummy Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 So I'm going out with someone who is lovely but they are critical about a lot. Not people but TV, movies and games. He's a massive buzzkill. And I don't really know what to do. He can't really get his head around it. And I don't know what to do. IF you're already having doubts now then you'll be having them later too. I'd dare say he isn't the sort that's going to change if that's his general approach - and for me, personally, I'd like to hope I'd avoid having that person in my life for too long. Ofc I realise it's easy to point out a person's flaws, especially in a relationship, without conveying all the good bits which can sometimes be quite simple or subtle. I had the same thing with my ex a bit tho - her attitude sometimes bugged me, and everyone told me to give up, but I couldn't. So I don't know. I'm in a better place now though I think.
Shorty Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 Gaming I can understand but movies and TV. Like what do you do in the 21st century? I don't think being very critical of TV and Movies is the same as hating them/not watching them. I'm sure some communication is the answer here, just point out that constantly being overly critical of things doesn't make for an enjoyable atmosphere. If the other options are to be miserable and put up with it, or break it off, you have nothing to lose. Pretty sure my ex disliked a lot about me for a long time and instead of talking to me about it, it just made us grow apart. In my current relationship we've already both openly mentioned dumb things the other one says or does and its very healthy. It's not about "changing" someone but about that person realising some of the things they say or do are probably automated and that everyone can live without them.
Daft Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 (edited) Yeah, like Shorty said, it's not a dislike of these things, he just enjoys approaching everything critically. He'll say what he likes but it's almost without fail always accompanied by what didn't work for him. Which is fine but if I want a bit of escapism and I hear "This doesn't make any sense" or the character's motivations are called into question because of the writing and not as a plot point...it makes it tough to relax. For example, I enjoy watching The Flash, I'm not expecting an especially well written show – especially one that's about a man who can run through time – but what it isn't seems to get in the way of what it is for him. And I think it's made me, in a very petty way, more critical of things in response when really I just want to enjoy something or let him enjoy his own thing. Hmmm can you see it working? My girlfriend doesn't understand gaming but she respects that I love it. Her not understanding it was an issue for me initially but I just figured that you do not need to have completely shared interests with the other half. We have a lot of shared interests but I think I'm realising completely different attitudes and approaches towards them. Edit: I wonder if I'm the one being unreasonable. Edited January 26, 2017 by Daft
stuwii Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 Went on a date , thought it went well but haven't heard from her since . Bugger
Beast Posted January 26, 2017 Posted January 26, 2017 Yeah, like Shorty said, it's not a dislike of these things, he just enjoys approaching everything critically. He'll say what he likes but it's almost without fail always accompanied by what didn't work for him. Which is fine but if I want a bit of escapism and I hear "This doesn't make any sense" or the character's motivations are called into question because of the writing and not as a plot point...it makes it tough to relax. For example, I enjoy watching The Flash, I'm not expecting an especially well written show – especially one that's about a man who can run through time – but what it isn't seems to get in the way of what it is for him. And I think it's made me, in a very petty way, more critical of things in response when really I just want to enjoy something or let him enjoy his own thing. We have a lot of shared interests but I think I'm realising completely different attitudes and approaches towards them. Edit: I wonder if I'm the one being unreasonable. OH! I totally misunderstood. I know people like that and I honestly avoid the subject of films because they are overly critical. It's a good idea to talk to him and see what he likes. - So I got dressed up and tried to look my best so I could be confident in myself and so I could get a yes. Went in the shop ready to just ask her and she wasn't in. I think she'll be in Saturday so I'm going to try then. Eeeek! I hate to wait! Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk
Beast Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 Today's the day! Oh God! Wish me luck, guys! Think positive thoughts but if I die of embarrassment, it's been a pleasure knowing you! haha. Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk Not in again. Ugh! Wait continues! Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk
Paj! Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 Hey sluts! *emerges from cocoon* My mum said she'd pay for me to be on PrEP the other day. She must have been reading my whatsapps to mates about what I get up to every weekend. A man I liked went back to his ex. But I'm ok. Meeting my ex on Thursday. I feel weird about him. Positive, but weird. Where do I stand? Anyway.
MoogleViper Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 What's PrEP? What's the story with your ex? How come you're meeting him?
Magnus Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 PrEP is an HIV prevention drug. Really makes you wonder who's the slut here...
Shorty Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 Hey sluts! *emerges from cocoon* My mum said she'd pay for me to be on PrEP the other day. She must have been reading my whatsapps to mates about what I get up to every weekend. A man I liked went back to his ex. But I'm ok. Meeting my ex on Thursday. I feel weird about him. Positive, but weird. Where do I stand? Anyway. Hey Paj, been a long time! Is "where do I stand?" more than a rhetorical question? Difficult to say without the ins and out and the hows and whys. Nice to see you back
Goafer Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 Hey sluts! *emerges from cocoon* My mum said she'd pay for me to be on PrEP the other day. She must have been reading my whatsapps to mates about what I get up to every weekend. A man I liked went back to his ex. But I'm ok. Meeting my ex on Thursday. I feel weird about him. Positive, but weird. Where do I stand? Anyway. If it were me, I'd question why he was your ex and why you broke up. Then question if anything was different now. If nothings changed, then surely it will end, just like it did before? Unless it's casual, then I'd just ask myself "is he ripped?"
Paj! Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 If it were me, I'd question why he was your ex and why you broke up. Then question if anything was different now. If nothings changed, then surely it will end, just like it did before? Unless it's casual, then I'd just ask myself "is he ripped?" That's the "Where do i/we stand?" bit comes in. We broke up because I moved to Hong Kong, we were open/long-distance/chill (did stuff with other people, but loved each other). When I visited back in the summer of 2016 he admitted it was too hard for him to do this when I couldn't tell him when I'd be back. Amicable, and I understood. Now...I'm back. We hung out once and was lovely. Just... dunno. I still care.
Goafer Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 Do you plan on moving away any time soon? If not, I see no reason why you couldn't pick up where you left off, assuming he's cool with it. If the only obstacle that kept you apart is now gone, why not?
Beast Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 Guys, I can't believe it but I'm something's wrong with me. I'm feeling a slight weirdness in my chest thinking about asking her out now. I never used to be like this but now I'm panicking a little to the point I feel like I kind of want to cry but I don't. I'm weird. She's in tomorrow. I just need to jump in and ask her...ugh! Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk
Magnus Posted February 3, 2017 Posted February 3, 2017 Have you considered just sending her a message with your HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk?
Beast Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 Have you considered just sending her a message with your HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk? That's not a bad idea! It'd make things easier and she'd know what phone I have too!
Raining_again Posted February 6, 2017 Posted February 6, 2017 I NEED CLOSURE ON THIS WOULD YOU ASK HER OUT ALREADY!!!!!!!!
Cube Posted February 6, 2017 Posted February 6, 2017 Speaking of closure, I finally have closure (in that I'm fully over her) on the girl I was obsessed with for ages. We're now really close friends and she's now dating my other female close friend. I'm actually pretty happy about the situation. Of course, there are some things that are pretty bad (my other female close friend only split up with her wife just over a month ago....although she had been unhappy in the relationship for absolutely ages), but I was surprised when I wasn't jealous or anything.
Beast Posted February 8, 2017 Posted February 8, 2017 I NEED CLOSURE ON THIS WOULD YOU ASK HER OUT ALREADY!!!!!!!! Your wish is my command! I just did it! I just asked if she wanted to go out for coffee. She asked if my other friend put me up to it to ask her out and I said "not exactly but I've wanted to ask you anyway" and she said "honestly, was it since our last job a couple of years ago?" and I said "yeah but I kind of lost the bottle but I'm here now". She said "I thought so. You're a nice guy so why not. Give me your number and I'll text you. My phone is dodgy but if you don't get a text, just drop in" so I gave her my number. She seemed really interested but part of me wonders if she was just trying to be nice to let me down. I'm gonna try to not think like it and just stay positive but I ACTUALLY FUCKING DID IT!
Beast Posted February 11, 2017 Posted February 11, 2017 So I'm going to meet her for coffee tomorrow. We had a good conversation on the phone. She was surprised that I remembered stuff about her. I brought up the vegan thing subtlety and she said she's cool with meat-eaters but finds it a bit gross but she's okay with me being one (no jokes, heard it all day, haha).
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