Serebii Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 Still not having much luck. Edited my dating profile a few times with help from friends, uploaded more pics of me having fun and being less glarey but still, no messages sent to me and no responses to ones I send. I know in a few months this'll be the least of my concerns, but it's disconcerting. Very few upcoming social events where I can meet any females, too.
gaggle64 Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 (edited) Oh, stop worrying and go enjoy yourself. Buy a nice T-shirt and go out dancing. Find one with a funky nuveau Pokeball design on it from Redbubble or something. If you hit it off with someone, great. Bare minimum you'll get some good dancing in. Or bad dancing. It's all fun. Edited May 13, 2013 by gaggle64
Jim Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 So she's not going to Canada any more, yet, most likely. It's a strange mix of fist-pumping to myself, and feeling sympathetic for her because she's had her heart set on it for a while. hrmmm.
Jav_NE Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 Girlfriend's sister saw some app on her husband's phone where he was having sex chats with girls. They only got married a few weeks ago! She was distraught and told her family... cue endless questions about pornography and such things for me! Yay Damn him! That conversation should never be had, I just decided to be very objectional about the whole thing. In general males and females will rarely agree on the topic - men are pigs, women are emotional - that is the stereotype on the matter. My girlfriend kind of came to the conclusion that although she would never be okay with me looking at other girls, she'd prefer that than actually forming a connection through chatting with anyone. Fair point in all honesty. I was very honest with her too and said that I haven't felt the need to look at porn for a while because she sexes me up enough as it is (totally true - her sex drive is higher than mine). Anyway, she seemed to like that answer! I also said that I would never promise that I wouldnt look at porn again though because I dont want to be that guy that is forced into this promise which is too easy to break, to which she said 'fine, i'll send you pictures of me instead so you dont need to'. Conversation win! Have any of you ever had to have such a debate with the partner? How would you handle it if you did? Can pornography and relationships co-exist? Are there varying degrees of acceptance, e.g. are stip clubs worse than pornography? Is chatting worse than videos or pictures? So many questions...
Emma Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 @Jav_NE I think the issue is with general porn, you're getting off to the sexual act rather than the person in the film, whereas in webcam chat it's certainly the person that's doing it for you. I broke up with my ex because he was asking girls to strip (and other things) over webcam. What has your girlfriend's sister done, is she staying with him?
Magnus Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 Men like the visual "my husband isn't home right now, maybe I can find some other way to pay you" stuff and women like the emotional "oh Edward, I need you to protect me because I'm so clumsy" stuff. I'd give up porn for my hypothetical girlfriend if she stopped watching Grey's Anatomy and fantasizing about banging McDreamy.
EEVILMURRAY Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 Have any of you ever had to have such a debate with the partner? How would you handle it if you did? Can pornography and relationships co-exist? Are there varying degrees of acceptance, e.g. are stip clubs worse than pornography? Is chatting worse than videos or pictures? So many questions... My girlfriend acknowledges that I knock one out to porn. Plus she knows I've been too a strip club whilst we were going out (for a friend's birthday). She was kinda mad that I didn't tell her, which I technically did. She sent me a text asking if I was a club, I said yes. S'not my fault ¬_¬ But she knows I'm too cheap to enjoy it fully.
MoogleViper Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 Women actually get annoyed that their partners watch porn? Reminds me of this:
jayseven Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 My previous gfs have been fine with porn. It can be flavoursome TO the relationship if you know how. I find it bizarre to be with someone for a long period of time and lie about watching porn. It's something I thought that would be established fairly early on... but maybe that's just me and my experiences. I'm really tempted to join a dating site. Mostly just to see if I can do a better job than rich-and-pretebii up there. I'm poor and ugly, so it'd be some sort of proof of something or other.
Charlie Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 It was a negative. However I'm so glad I manned up and asked her. She definitely appreciated it. Onwards and upwards. So glad I just know and can move on. 4 days to the weekend where I will be smashing it as always!
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 Porn is my partner right now, so ... Though I've never really heard about anyone having a problem with their partner watching porn before; in my mind it's just fantasy fodder. A strip club is a bit more controversial and probably should be agreed upon. Personal webcam shows and chats seem too much like cheating to me.
MoogleViper Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 I think a strip club is fine, personally. Although keeping it a secret makes it not so. Webcam chats are definitely wrong, and I would go as far to call them cheating. Webcam shows aren't so bad, as that's more like live porn (depends on how much you're chatting).
Jim Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 It was a negative. However I'm so glad I manned up and asked her. She definitely appreciated it. Onwards and upwards. So glad I just know and can move on. 4 days to the weekend where I will be smashing it as always! how did you go about it? and did she give a reason as to why not?
Charlie Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 how did you go about it? and did she give a reason as to why not? I text her. We're good friends already and I'm of the opinion that the medium isn't that important. If she wanted to go on a date she would've said yes regardless of how I asked her. I know a lot of people, perhaps more in the past, were very anti text but I think it's cool. I made sure that I was crystal clear it was a date in the text just for the off-chance she thought it might be a friend thing. Asked her out for dinner. She said that she isn't in that place right now but really appreciated me asking. There were a couple of texts back and forwards afterwards and its clear that she did like me asking her. It's just obviously not the right thing for her.
Jim Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 agreed. ah well, points for effort rejection isn't all that scary after all right?
Charlie Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 agreed. ah well, points for effort rejection isn't all that scary after all right? Nope, I feel a million times better about the whole situation now.
Ellmeister Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 A million times better? :p Did you want her to reject you or something? LOSER.
Jav_NE Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 @Jav_NE I think the issue is with general porn, you're getting off to the sexual act rather than the person in the film, whereas in webcam chat it's certainly the person that's doing it for you. I broke up with my ex because he was asking girls to strip (and other things) over webcam. What has your girlfriend's sister done, is she staying with him? Well they definitely had a massive talk, I don't know much more than that. I imagine since they just got married that they would make it work, but she was really torn up about it. Just hope they can move past it really as they are a lovely couple.
Charlie Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 A million times better? :p Did you want her to reject you or something? LOSER. I would've been 2 million times better if she said yes. If not more. :P
MoogleViper Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 I would've been 2 million times better if she said yes. If not more. :P A "yes" is only twice as good as a "no"? I can see why she rejected you; you don''t care about her that much.
Jim Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 hahaha Do you think she's pretty much shut the door on it completely? Prolly a messed up thing to say to you now, a few chicks I've dated said no or not right now the first time :P
Charlie Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 hahaha Do you think she's pretty much shut the door on it completely? Prolly a messed up thing to say to you now, a few chicks I've dated said no or not right now the first time :P "Right now" is the worst words you can hear because it keeps the hope alive. And yes, she used those words.
Jim Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 unless they actually mean it one of my best mates was told this same thing multiple times over like 6 months.. they've now been together for 2 years but I will say that he was a complete wreck during that 6 months...
Charlie Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 unless they actually mean it one of my best mates was told this same thing multiple times over like 6 months.. they've now been together for 2 years but I will say that he was a complete wreck during that 6 months... Dude, seriously? :P
Jim Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 i'll stop now Onto the topic of the whole porn thing... My personal opinion is that I can understand how it would make the chick feel, completely inadequate. Mostly because they just totally wouldn't understand that we aren't lusting after the chick in the porn, just using it to get off to =/ But once it's explained to them, if they were still hung up about it then it would be a little bit obsessive. I mean, it's such a common thing. As for what your girlfriends sisters husband did jav.. I don't think there's any doubt that that's more or less cheating. Once you're chatting with another person, and connecting like that.. it's a completely different ball game.
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