Dog-amoto Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 (edited) Where the hell did that come from?? Also, I bet this guy was thinking the same... Edited April 16, 2014 by Dog-amoto Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goafer Posted April 17, 2014 Author Share Posted April 17, 2014 (edited) Edited April 17, 2014 by Goafer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goafer Posted April 18, 2014 Author Share Posted April 18, 2014 An oldie, but a goodie: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoogleViper Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arab_freak Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 [RICEPIRATE] My fellow Americans (...and to a lesser extent, the rest of the world.) Uncle Sam here - and when I'm not out scoring some wicked-hot slash or stealing your hard earned money for...God knows what, I'm at home, scoring some wicked hot slash, and listening to sick ass hip-hop! Here's one of my faves - just make sure you've got your checkbook handy! NOW BUSS IT NIGGAAAAAaAaAaaaAa [sTAMPER] I woke up today, feeling flawless, It's obvious, I got a really good day ahead, Gonna do my TAXES! (It's the LAW, KID!) Got a bowl of cereal, Laid out some envelopes, some documents, ...and you KNOW, I had some Honey Nut Cheerios... I got a theory though - a hypothesis... ...I don't really gotta do my taxes, right? I could dodge it... PSYCH I'm concious of the consequences, And more than happy to contribute and pay my dues to a bottomless deficit. (Check it!) I got my brand new W-2 and it's due sooner than later so lemme tell ya what you do, You get your business reciepts laid out, and ADD EM UP! ...get your business reciepts ADDED UP, n' WRITE EM' OFF, NIGGA! ...that's it, done - gotta stack them zeroes, inflate that refund, inflate that EGO, (MY NEGRO!) And yo my Honey Nut Cheerios? I wrote it off as a Honey Nut BUSINESS MEAL. [CHORUS] Bringin truth from the booth playa, What you gon' do? Get your W-2, and throw it up! I did my taxes bay-baaaay, (And to celebrate I'm gonna jack off in the bathtub.) Filed and all done, Federal, Local, and State - fat refund coming my way, (And yo...when I'm jacking in the bath I'm gonna bend my weiner up as I'm coming so I can shoot it in my face.) [MARC] Daaaamn, I better do my taxes... Roll a W-2, and pass it, Smoke it down to a pile of ashes, Man, FUCK all that "MATH" shit... My story ends the same way it begins, I refuse to do my taxes, again, I went to HR Block with a raging hard cock, Slammed it on the desk and said SUCK. (EGO!) [EGORAPTOR] I ain't at a loss to figure out how I'm at a loss, I got instructions to file my deductions, I AIN'T NO CPA, NO WAY Nigga I'm a fuckin deductin master e-file disaster, Gotta file 'em faster the 15th is the pastor preachin' THE END OF DAYS ...that's right I got a raise, Now I gotta phrase, All the fuckin' ways my pay's appraised, So I'm flippin' and flippin' through fuckin' tabs of dumb bullshit, 'n I didn't notice since I moved, My state has taxes just for livin'! (WHAT?) FUCK THAT SHIT My wallet's got moths, flyin' out like Chinese New Year, Don't I pay enough tax at my TJ Maxx when I swipe my card at the cashier? ...oh shit I just forgot, My stocks in Microsoft been sendin' me checks, FUCK This shit is gettin TOO COMPLEX! [RINGADING-DING] [RINGADING-DING] Hello? Sorry can I talk to Mr. Goldstein? NO!! Could the time you left to file be any shorter? I know but... Don't you know you gotta make an estimated PAYMENT EVERY QUARTER [CHORUS] [EXTENDED CHORUS THAT ENDS IN WEINER] I'm confident in congress, Pour me shots of tax until I vomit, (Awww!) My Uncle Sam needs money? I'm on it...(bitch) Raise my tax and imma' yawn, and here, Take my wallet! It's the least I could pay, Livin' in the USA is a God damn privilege, Even though most dudes I know are jobless, and struggling and hopeless, With a broken promise from college, That put em' in debt to the neck where the rope is... ...and health insurance? Whaddya joking? Regardless All hands to the poop deck it's not as hard as expected, You fill out some boxes and check NO or YES, If you got exemptions, Or if you're married or single or...wait why? You D-T-F I-R-S? Damn girl - didn't expect this! Pull that pussy out and imma eat it for breakfast, That's right, like a big bowl of cereal... That's right, a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios, That's right...I think I'm outta material BYE. [CHORUS] [sTAMPER] So do your taxes kid, I did, it was on my bucket-list, Just above drugging a kid, ...and holding him down, ...and fucking him in, the butt... ...while he struggles around and wait what...aklsjfklasdfkl ... I'm not a pedophile or a rapist yadda yadda...whatever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaggle64 Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 First, enjoy this video riffing on clingy passive-aggressive guys who won't just sack up and ask someone out: Now enjoy the comment highlights beneath it: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoogleViper Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHHA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EEVILMURRAY Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rummy Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 internet wat r u doin? internet! stahp! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Peeps Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 Clearly irritated at people posting spoilers for the next Mario game, a game of thrones cross-over! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog-amoto Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diageo Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goafer Posted April 27, 2014 Author Share Posted April 27, 2014 HAVE WE LEARNED NOTHING?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EEVILMURRAY Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 Aren't things like that protected by laws n' shit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goafer Posted April 28, 2014 Author Share Posted April 28, 2014 American laws? Probably not. The laws of Hollywood common sense? Probably loads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog-amoto Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 Nailed it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy-the-Dane Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 internet wat r u doin? internet! stahp! Looking at that profile, though, I'm not sure it's actually Miyamoto ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rummy Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 Looking at that profile, though, I'm not sure it's actually Miyamoto ... I did consider that, but I wanted to be leaf so it was funnier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ville Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 He was upset by Mario and Luigi kissing? Well he better stop googling them, or he's gonna have a heart attack... (and yes it's a joke profile) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EEVILMURRAY Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 American laws? Probably not. The laws of Hollywood common sense? Probably loads. Well some of those places have preservation orders, must just be those 'reservation' places. And for "one of the richest and best preserved found in California in the past century" it seems a given. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bob Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAHAAHAAAA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goafer Posted April 28, 2014 Author Share Posted April 28, 2014 Well some of those places have preservation orders, must just be those 'reservation' places. And for "one of the richest and best preserved found in California in the past century" it seems a given. As Apple and the American patent office have proven, laws can be bought with enough money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sméagol Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rummy Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 Found this round the corner the other day, must say it wasn't quite as I was expecting... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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