Posted October 27, 2010 (edited) Ladies & gents, one year ago I swore to weave for my good friend a tale of magic, fantasy and woe of such startling proportions and originality it would explode the cortex of the galactic consciousness. Unfortunately, I'm lazy, so here's this instead: All was lost. The Enterprise was uncontactable, either in flames or going down with zombie Ryker firmly installed at the helm. Outside they could the ravenous, high pitched squealing of a thousand syphilitic Wesley Crushers, mewling and clawing at each other like a parade of Jersey Houswives on fire."Damn." Captain Picard sat down on the counter of the pornography store they had taken shelter in and hung his bald, fluorescent head in his hands. "At least we can still get a good cup of tea before the barricades fall." "Dammit man!" Martinist slapped him hard about the face. "We've been in this situation before! In fact EXACTLY this situation before! Honestly, it's really quite uncanny..." He stopped as as a weak, girlish limb hammered feebly at the wood. "It's only a matter of hours now. I don't think beating them to death with your dick is going to work this time. All is lost." He looked up, a single tear rolling down his cheek. "Martinist, would you... one last time?" Martinist nodded and their lips locked together in a long passionate embrace, pulsating over each others mouths like a pair of slugs in a rainstorm. The cracking of wood and violent screams caused them to break and look to the door where they expected to see which syphilitic Wesely clone would be the harbinger of their destruction. Except it wasn't. "Oh my god!" Exclaimed Picard. "It's Jackie Chan!" HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARTINIST!!! Edited October 27, 2010 by gaggle64 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 27, 2010 What is this ... I don't even ... Anyway, happy birthday, martinist! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 27, 2010 Happy Birthday Martinist, from your post in the drunk thread I'll assume you're having a great time! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 27, 2010 Happy Drinking! And Birthday! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 27, 2010 (edited) I ewecxpect you to haver that wrigfht ndone by newxt christmass, Arthur!! Wesly should die of zombiew AIDS!!! and santa shoujld be bads ass and lkill all teh szombies! witht Jackie cChan! with kung fu actiong like i've never sween beforew!!! Edited October 27, 2010 by martinist Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 27, 2010 LOL Happy Birthday dude, sounds like you're having a good one! :D:D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 27, 2010 Happy birthday. Have an awesome day Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 27, 2010 I dedicate this song to you: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 27, 2010 I ewecxpect you to haver that wrigfht ndone by newxt christmass, Arthur!! Wesly should die of zombiew AIDS!!! and santa shoujld be bads ass and lkill all teh szombies! witht Jackie cChan! with kung fu actiong like i've never sween beforew!!! ... pure roffles :P Happy Birthdrizzle, the most martin of ALL martins! Kinda. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 27, 2010 (edited) I'M THE FIRE SRTARETER THE TWISCTED FIRE STARTYER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KFCKFCKFCKFCKFCKFCKFCKFCKFCKFCKFCKFCKFCKFC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111!!!!!!!!!!! Edited October 27, 2010 by martinist Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 28, 2010 aww poor martini. Hope you had a good day love Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 28, 2010 I'd wish you happy birthday, but that fucking Pichu smacking it's ass INFURIATES ME. I'LL KILL THAT FUCKING THING. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
