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Xpert Eleven: Season 11


Dyson

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How do you know when you've been dirty tricked? because i've been having issues with players form recently, where form has just bottomed out for no apparent reason :(

 

You'll get a message saying something such as "Somebody snuck into your training ground and punctured all the footballs" or, in my case today "The team were given dodgy energy drinks that gave them all a stomach illness." and all your players might lose a lot of form. But sometimes the tricks are averted and nothing happens other than that you know somebody tried to dirty trick you.

 

You could try it to someone, then they'll do it to you in retaliation.

 

But people who use dirty tricks often are scum. Sub-human scum.

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^ *Can't believe that WWF vid was 10 years ago.*

 

I'm blaming Moria for my team being dirty tricked as well. I'm not playing him tomorrow but I am on Chrimbo Day. :angry:

 

I think it could be Dyson actually. He has literally tons of money! Maybe this is his goodbye present take everyone down! lol

 

Oh thank god the offers are rolling in for my new youth player I so so need the cash for training after this dirty trick.

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Two wins and two draws in my last four matches, I'm quite happy about that :) Only one point behind Domstercool and he is not playing next week and my opponent is Martinist Men. Should be easy^^

 

Also won my first cup match in an Xpert Eleven league.

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Lawl. Forgot to set tactics and got a lovely victory to get me out of the relegation zone for a bit! Need a few points against noodle and who knows...

 

My proper team also won without set tactics... though that's in the cup and I cba with it. My change report for that team was ridiculously average. They're all STILL playing two bars above their evaluated amount... which means I have the element of surprise in my league at least.

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I haven't been dirty tricking anyone, and with £7+ million funds i don't think anyone will want my retaliation ;)

 

I can not get a win at the moment, fucking Marshall Bain again getting a 12 rating. They managed to injure my keeper aswell who seemed to be having a good game up to that point (he got a 7 rating just for one half), at least it got my new youth keeper 38% exp for a sub appearance :D

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The last double report! They have been such fun. I do have some catching up to do so expect to see more single reports asap! Enjoy!

 

 

Soap Box Utd 2-0 Made of Win

 

Soap Box strode do a predictable win as they are handed perhaps the easiest double of all the title contenders. Soap Box played a mixture of youth and old school talent as they faced off against a managerless Made of Win. However they struggled to score a opener creating only 1 chance in the first half compared to 2 chances formed by Made of Win! Bose however who was dominant in midfield launched a cross in that Heerkens headed in powerfully much to the relief of the home fans. Made of Win lost the will to fight and Heerkens headed in another just before the game ended to make it 2-0. It was not the slaughter everyone thought it might be but was a comfortable win for Soap Box Utd none the less. Soap Box went away feeling confident that they would complete the double.

Made of Win 0-3 Soap Box Utd

 

And complete it they did, in style as well as they gained 5 goals for their GD total by putting 3 past Made of Win in the 2nd leg of this double. This time a goal came quickly as yet again Made of Win conceded a headed goal with Bose swinging a cross in that Muiren headed home. The 2nd half saw the game open up more as Made of Win began to fall apart again. Muiren found a way behind the Made of Win defense and easily scored in the 1 on 1 situation. Heerkens wasn't the star of the show this time around but did head in a last minute goal to put his name on the score sheet again. An easy couple of victories for Soap Box who professionally picked up the 6 points and carried on their fight for the title.

Eights United 0-0 Completed Domstercool

This match could well be a contestant for the most boring match in the Reports history. While both teams had players booked giving the match some action, there was virtually no chances in the whole match. To be more precise there was 1 chance in the entire match that fell to Domstercool. However Domstercool was playing their customary 4-5-1 formation that left their striker Mansell (who has yet to score a goal this season) all by himself up front. He squandered the half chance and the game fell back into an awful lackluster affair with both teams lacking any attacking drive. The top performers for both teams were players in defense. The home and away fans left the match early and expected more from the follow up.

Complete Domstercool 0-2 Eights United

 

This match was a much more entertaining affair as Eights United obviously attentive to what happened last game went after Domstercool with a strong attacking spirit. Playing an extremely youthful defense Domstercool seemed vulnerable and Eights United struck out as Gjermundsen headed in the first goal of his career to give United the lead. Domstercools only strength their midfield was given a death blow as Richards slapped an opposing player landing himself a straight red card. United piled on the chances ending up with 7 chances to 0 from Domstercool. Flatland who hasn't had the best season so far fired home a magnificent long range effort to make it 2 and give United an assured win. Eights United looked much more impressive than Domstercool and will want to this double as a springboard to finish ahead of Domstercool and be ready for the promotion race next season.

 

 

Recall United 2-0 Discount Viagra

 

Recall United left it late to beat fellow promotion rivals Discount Viagra. Playing 5-4-1 United had no problems fending off Viagra's two chances during the match. Their midfield led by Hollingdale also was a great creative force making 8 chances. Viagra's attack had been hurt by an early injury to the captain Ewing. United's attack was obviously at a slight disadvantage of its own as it relied solely on one man. However the one man, McCartney delivered as he wrong footed a Viagra defender and beat the goalie 1 on 1 on 77 minutes. He later headed the goal in dramatic style with a diving effort, to make it 2-0 at 89 minutes. United always looked the better side and are notching up wins left right and center now. The return leg will be an interesting one to see if Viagra can strike back.

 

Discount Viagra 1-3 Recall United

 

United completed the double in a brutal at times violent match which will live long in the memory of both sides. Viagra switched to 4-3-3 against United's 5-4-1 system to try and score some goals this time around. However one of their attackers Rioch was barged over in the opening exchanges and stretched off after only 4 minutes. United had a stronger midfield at their disposal and made plenty of chances. One of them led to a penalty that Hollingdale easily dispatched to make it 1-0. Moments later Whiteside hit in a free kick from the edge of the box, shooting it in under a jumping wall for the 2nd. Ewing was back for this game and found space and hit the ball in just as the 2nd half restarted. However on 77 minutes as it looked like the game could go either way, the inexperienced Viagra defender Pitcher launched a horrific double footed tackle into Philbin who writhed around in agony. Several United players had to be pulled away from the scene as they confronted Pitcher who was given a straight red. Philbin was stretchered off and will be out for some time. McCartney took advantage of Viagra being a man down and hit a goal in off the post to give United a hard fought win. This double could be crucial for United who have really found some form recently and look strong contenders for promotion. For Viagra they are still in the fight but were not up to the task in the double and made some real errors in their home game.

Dudezz 1-5 Jaffa Munchers

 

Dudezz sadly look to be another abandoned team but got off to a flying start against the Munchers as Hassall smacked in a long range shot on the 17 minute mark. However Munchers were clearly out to win the game playing 4-3-3. McAnuff bundled home a close range effort to make it 1-1 at half time. After the restart Munchers exploded making another 6 chances compared to only 2 in the first half. McAnuff hit another one in with a long range effort this time, a variation of both goal scorers (with goals coming from midfield and defensive players) as well as types of goals (headers long range efforts and breakaways) sealed a impressive 2nd half for the Munchers. Their attack was just way to much for the hopeless Dudezz defense and abysmal goalie. Munchers are looking like they are going to get promoted more and more every game.

Jaffa Munchers 2-0 Dudezz

 

Munchers eased to the double with two 2nd half goals as they again beat the managerless Dudezz. One may ask why the Munchers did not go for more goals as they are battling Soap Box Utd for GD. But instead of an attacking formation they decided to give a range of players in midfield and defense some experience and played 4-4-2. Dudezz held out until the 63rd minute when Gabso headed a cross in to the back of the net. Minutes later Haky lobbed the goalie who had come out to clear a cross. After a rocky start to the season this double has cemented the Munchers as not just a promotion contender but a team that could put real pressure on Soap Box Utd.

 

Analysis Week 1

 

Most Important Result: Dudezz 1-5 Jaffa Munchers, Munchers needed to win this and won it in such style their GD got a great bonus.

 

Turned on the Style Award: Jaffa Munchers, completely destroyed their opponents 5 goals away from home is quite the achievement.

 

Player of the Day: Drew McCartney, Recall United, nice couple of goals helped his side beat promotion rivals Viagra.

Analysis Week 2

 

Most Important Result: Discount Viagra 1-3 Recall United, great completion of the double by United gives them a huge boost in the promotion race.

Turned on the Style Award: Recall United, 8 chances made was the difference between them and Viagra in a brutal match.

 

Player of the Day: Rex Hollingdale, helped dominate the midfield battle and scored a goal great effort.

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Just made one of the toughest decisions I've had to make in 11 seasons. Nat Spheeris is on the Transfer Market. ._.

 

Noa Brusling has been on the market a few times now because I don't want him to retire when he's still worth 6.5m. He hasn't sold as I want at least 8 mil for him.

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