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Vauchian Dolszki

ReZourceman

By ReZourceman
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ReZourceman Newbie

ReZourceman

Posted
Posted

As some of you will be aware I recently pulled an elaborate prank on my chickwoman. It was well documented in the Jokes thread.

 

Vauchian Dolzski Gate.

 

9122_101154136567414_100000184855485_30121_6332774_n.jpg

 

I am posing as an obese black man with glasses, pretending to know my girlfriend Claire from school. At first to be polite she went along with it, claiming to me she didn't and doesn't remember him. I am making her wish she didn't go along with it.

 

The brilliant thing is she talks to me about what she says and how she's feeling, so I can play her off against Vauchian.

 

I don't quite know where I'm going with it, but it might be asking her and ReZ (me) to meet up with her, and her trying to squirm out of it, and then Vauchian getting really offended and upset.

 

Brilliant.

 

Vauchian Dolzski

hello claire. lol i was worried you werent gonna remember meh i was only at cottesloe for a few years

 

how are you i didnt know you knew michael jameson i knew him from aylesbury college lol how you

 

Claire

Hi! What a small world... I'm fine thanks, how are you?

 

At this stage you can see shes playing it cool, trying to give and gain as little info as possible so hopefully he will go away. No chance.

 

Vauchian Dolzski

i am good i still live in prince risborough lol.

 

i remember when i fell over at that party that luke had lol i think that was the last time i saw you.

 

what you up to now i am working how are you

 

Claire

I'm working as well... that's about it really lol, I'm still in Aylesbury living with Michael which is a pleasure!.... I love it really though

 

Vauchian Dolzski

lol yeh where you working. im working too im working in a flower shop in prince risborough part time nad part time at tesco lol but its okay.

 

lol did you remember that party at lukes omg so embaressing. i remember that.

 

Claire

I work at Bucks County Council, I'm sorry I really don't remember that party at all!

 

Vauchian Dolzski

oh you work at the council that is cool. my friend works there he is called barry marlow do you know barry marlow.

 

oh you dont remember luke martin party. omg lol maybe that is a good thing. you were definite there i think. you hang out with tall alan didnt you.

 

how was your day at work today. did you have loads of people complaining about the council lol

 

Claire

I don't know Barry Marlow I'm afraid, he doesn't work in my department, yeah Alan Smith, haven't seen or spoke to him in years, he was lovely! My day was ok, tired now, long day

 

Vauchian Dolzski

oh no that is bad. hopefully this week will be better for you lol. i was away this weekend had to look at flowes for my work in wales lol i like wales but i prefer england.

 

i will have to ask barry marlow if he knows you but maybe he is in a different department to you anyway

 

what you upto this week. are you on holiday this year.

 

This was so funny. She said to me after (as I pretended that I knew Vauchian very breifly from college) she said "This guys such a retard, I already told him I'm not in the same department" etc.

 

Claire

Not up to much this week, off work on Friday, don't know what I will be doing yet, Michael's off work as well so we will do something together.. I went to Cyprus is April that was my main holiday for this year, had a few weekends away as well.

 

Vauchian Dolzski

that sounds nice where did you go on your weekends away. i have never been to cyprus or spain at all actually but i have been to france and i have been to greece lol.

 

i asked barry marlow if he knows you and he said he doesnt know you so you must be in different departments so lol not suprisin that you dont know him cos lol you probabl never even seen him !!

 

so you off on friday lol decieded what you gonna do yet. i remember michael from college lol. when did you to get together lol

 

Claire

I went to Bognor Regis and Brighton.. I haven't made up my mind about Friday yet, might go to London shopping.. me and Michael got together 4 years ago, we met at college.

 

Vauchian Dolzski

oh right i met mihcael at college. did you do art too he did art lol. bognor regis i have been there to the butlins there where did you go did you go to the pier did you do the arcades.

 

brighton did you go on the pier there witrh the rides and that is where norman cook fat boy slim lives. he is my favourite dj i think. who is your favourite dj.

 

london sounds like a good idea on friday. i have friday off work too and was wondering what i should do lol......

 

This was great. She said to me "I am giving him as little answers and information as possible but he keeps talking to me and asking me stuff"

 

Claire

I did Art as well, we went to Butlins when we went to Bognor Regis, been a couple of times now

 

So....

 

Vauchian Dolzski

oh right. ok.

 

who your favourite dj. what do you think i should do tomorrow. i have a day off so i might come to london. lol if you guys go we could get the same train.

 

I have come out to her now. I am uploading to YouTube as we speak. This was my final response to her

 

Vauchian Dolzski

claire i have confession to make i love you and i want to be with you. but you already know this because Vauchian isn't my real name, my real name is Michael Jamieson, and I'm filming your reaction right now.

 

 

 

Well this prank has ended. I now I have a spare Facebook account all setup and ready and louded to play pranks on people.

 

So I call to you, internet. What do you want to see?

 

 

I am willing to replay the prank using people that YOU may want to use as a victim. You feed me a little info about them and I'll replay a similar prank with them.

 

Or do you have another suggestion for Vauchian?

ReZourceman Newbie

ReZourceman

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

Okay, I've entered phase 2.

 

http://photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs244.snc1/9122_101154136567414_100000184855485_30121_6332774_n.jpg

 

I'm adding everyone. I've added about 200 so far. Heres a few convos I've had so far.

 

Danny

hi who this

6:25pmVauchian

hi its vauch

6:26pmDanny

who vauch lol

6:26pmVauchian

we met a few times when i lived in uk

friend

6:26pmDanny

think u might of got wrong person mate

6:26pmVauchian

no dan buckley

i met you lol

in leeds right

6:26pmDanny

nah i dont think so

6:27pmVauchian

dont you remembr me?

6:27pmDanny

nah

6:27pmVauchian

 

failblog

we met at a party

whose was it

6:27pmDanny

i am sure i never met u before

6:27pmVauchian

ghuh

it was nathan friend party

i def meet yo

u

6:28pmDanny

have u lol

6:28pmVauchian

yeah

around prom i think

i didnt go to the school tho

6:28pmDanny

kk

6:28pmVauchian

but it was about a week agtyer prom

karen?

Sending:

her party maybe

i dnt remember

but i remember you

lol

drink loads of beer

more than meh

6:29pmDanny

ok

 

 

Vauchian Dolzski September 21 at 6:20pm

hello i went to school with gemma but now i live in poland.

 

Sue September 21 at 6:21pm Report

gemma who?

 

Vauchian Dolzski September 21 at 6:22pm

gemma coles she talk about you sometimes.

 

Sue September 21 at 6:28pm Report

No dont think its me shes talkin bout, hardly know her.

 

Vauchian Dolzski September 21 at 10:32am

oh right okay do you know which sue it is?

 

Sue September 21 at 6:32pm Report

No haven got a clue mate soz.

 

Vauchian Dolzski September 21 at 10:34am

that is okay thanks for helping anyway :)

 

how are you

 

 

Dan Gate.

 

Vauchian

nt too baf

 

6:33pmDanny

kk

 

6:34pmVauchian

kwl

you play nfs shift

 

6:34pmDanny

nah

 

6:36pmVauchian

you play batman arkim asilum

 

6:37pmDanny

no

 

6:37pmVauchian

what you play

 

6:37pmDanny

GTA

 

6:37pmVauchian

niiice

i like the guns and i like the runing ppl ovr in helivpotrtd.

lol

 

6:38pmDanny

kool

 

6:38pmVauchian

you got tank cheat

 

6:39pmDanny

no

 

6:39pmVauchian

ill get it for you kk

hold on

its upstairs

brb

 

6:40pmDanny

nah i dont want it lol

 

Vauchian

cant find it must be in attic

can you hold on a second

ill get it

brb

 

6:43pmDanny

i dnt need ot

it

 

6:47pmVauchian

ow lol

fell out of the attic

and the worst thing didnt even find the cheat

lmao!

ill find it for you another time

okay gtg naw

c ya later yeh

dan c ya

dan

u ther

gtg dan c ya yeh

t2u soon

kk

bi

dan

dan u still ther mate

gotta go naw k

Edited by ReZourceman
Automerged Doublolepost
Paj! Newbie

Paj!

Posted
Posted
I'm pretending I know my sister from school now. Its only just started but its going to be excellent.

 

Katie Garden (girl who organised the event you're "attending") asked who the hell Vauchian was, and whether he was really my cousin. I said no, but still pretended that he was real, but just a weirdo. She rejected your add.

ReZourceman Newbie

ReZourceman

Posted
  • Author
Posted

My sister is getting suspicious.

 

Emma Jamieson September 23 at 6:58pm

1stly vauchian has rezourceman as his e mail address and 2ndly why oh why is dad friends with him?

 

Michael Jamieson September 23 at 1:57pm

First thing I can answer as his email address wasnt working and he added me on MSN so I said he could use that cos' I never use it and second....I have no idea. Lol. Dad just accepts anything.

ReZourceman Newbie

ReZourceman

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

Oh god this is great.

Emily

how u know me

who are u

 

7:32pm Vauchian

hey emily

 

7:33pm Emily

who are u do i know you

 

7:33pm Vauchian

yeh i was at your scool for about 2years

left in year 11

cos was too harcore for the skool lmao

hows toy

you**

 

7:34pm Emily

what school called?

 

7:37pm Vauchian

Elm Farm

Leeds

 

7:37pm Emily

Clearly you didnt go my school then so what you chattin shit for :L

thinking you know people when you clearly dont

 

7:37pm Vauchian

errr

i clearly do that

dont chat shit to me

 

7:37pm Emily

what the fuck ,. clealry dont make sense either

 

7:38pm Vauchian

erm speak english love.

 

7:38pm Emily

:L yehh cos im not already

 

7:38pm Vauchian

Well out of those 5 words only 3 were English....

 

7:39pm Emily

what country you live in

 

7:39pm Vauchian

your mouth

face

 

7:40pm Emily

not england then cos you dont make sense

 

7:40pm Vauchian

well i albviouslt do live in

England

so your face

racist.

you racist

just becos im black i cant possible live in England

 

7:41pm Emily

how can i be racist my boyfriends are black :L

daft cunt

 

7:41pm Vauchian

Daft Punk.

 

7:42pm Emily

hahhahahahaha

 

7:42pm Vauchian

ok your not racism

im sorry

you hate meh.

 

7:43pm Emily

:L

 

Vauchian

ok

oh

do yu have a bf?

cn i be bf

im black too

 

7:45pm Emily

2

nooo love!

 

 

LOOK AT MY WALL THIS IS BECOMING LEGENDARY.

 

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000184855485&ref=profile

Edited by ReZourceman
  • 2 months later...
Wesley Newbie

Wesley

Posted
Posted

I just read the convo with the girl who has two black boyfriends.

 

What a greedy whore.

 

I've always wanted a black boyfriend and she's taking up two!

  • 1 year later...
ReZourceman Newbie

ReZourceman

Posted
  • Author
Posted

A few people have discovered the truth! They are taking it rather well. Not that I really meant to cause any distress, it was all very light hearted so I guess there is no reason why they shouldn't.

 

And are now calling me epicz.

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