Posted July 19, 2009 Are you lonely? It sounds like a rather depressing and 'emo' question to ask and would probably be better off in a Myspace quiz but I am curious. I have been single for quite some time now and don't find it that bad, I quite like the freedom I have and don't see why for some people it's such a struggle. The next person I go out with is someone who I will actually like. And this is the question I wanted to ask... For any of you who are single, do you wait for the 'right person'? I often find myself only going out with someone if I have naturally got to know them really well and end up falling for them, but by only doing this I'm probably going to be single again for a very long time :P Do you get 'set up' with people, go out with someone to 'see how it goes' or generally just go out on the pull to find someone random to get with? I've never tried the last few as I've never wanted to be in a relationship that badly but has anyone else ever tried it? And if so have the consequences been good and you've actually ended up finding someone you really like and enjoy being with? Or was it a date that you would rather forget? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 19, 2009 i browse this forum like 23 hours a day of course im lonely Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 19, 2009 imagine if you were a traditional asian and had all that mating, pairing and matching taken care off. then you could just not worry about it and get on with whatever you are suppose to be doing. thats what it seems to be like. (dont like the title .. sounds like guerilla advertising.. but of course it isnt.) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 19, 2009 Are you lonely? It sounds like a rather depressing and 'emo' question to ask and would probably be better off in a Myspace quiz but I am curious. I have been single for quite some time now and don't find it that bad, I quite like the freedom I have and don't see why for some people it's such a struggle. The next person I go out with is someone who I will actually like. And this is the question I wanted to ask... For any of you who are single, do you wait for the 'right person'? I often find myself only going out with someone if I have naturally got to know them really well and end up falling for them, but by only doing this I'm probably going to be single again for a very long time :P Do you get 'set up' with people, go out with someone to 'see how it goes' or generally just go out on the pull to find someone random to get with? I've never tried the last few as I've never wanted to be in a relationship that badly but has anyone else ever tried it? And if so have the consequences been good and you've actually ended up finding someone you really like and enjoy being with? Or was it a date that you would rather forget? I agree with the bolded. I've been single for a very very long time. 95% of the time I'm happy. I have a lot of things going on in my life that I don't think most guys my age could cope with.. (health problems n whatnot) and its nice to not have that other person in your life to worry about/consider etc but 5% of the time the sadness would come around, I do get lonely! It sucks. I don't see myself as an attractive person, so I probably don't have the confidence to reach out and seek someone. Well I have done in the past and they have never had an interest back. So I don't bother anymore. Only myself to blame then (Awesome thread by the way dude.) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 19, 2009 I've happily been what I consider to be my first ever serious relationship for a couple of months now, and I can see the pros from both sides. It was certainly easier being single, and I probably miss the free time and lack of any pressure whatsoever. However, were I to suddenly exit the relationship I know I'd miss her and the time I spend with her. Single or not, I think it's only up to us to make the most of it and find happiness in what we have. If we can do that, then the tag of being 'single' or 'in a relationship' is irrelevant. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 19, 2009 I am a bit lonely at times there is lots of things to miss from a relationship having someone really close to chat to, someone to share good times and laughs with talk through problems and of course sex aint bad! But having good mates and freedom is also good I guess just make the best of what you have at the moment. And never settle for someone especially when you are in your 20s. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 19, 2009 im an increadably lonely individual. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 19, 2009 I'm at the stage in my life where a realtionship would be fucking awesome, alas I'm useless with the opposite sex so cannot foresee anything happening any time soon Although this weekend has made me realise that you guys are actually cooler than my other friends, if only there was an N-E house that we could all live in, you know like Big Brother but good... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 19, 2009 Short answer: Yes Long answer: Very I've been single for far too long and it really gets me down. Some of my friends think I'm a real ladies man given the women in my life but they are all just friends and acquaintances - nothing more in the slightest. If they knew the true state of my "love life", they'd either burst out laughing or smother me in pity. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 19, 2009 Good thread, I think I probably agree with raining's post(except the unattractive bit ) the most. Relationships and other halves tend to stress me out, I end up bouncing up and down too much and it takes away from the rest of my life too sometimes. I think I'm much happier on the whole being officially single, just cos there's less stress and I'm already so busy(somehow) as it is I don't know if I'd even specifically find time for anyone right now! I love myself and my friends too much, I don't wanna end up sort of...getting distracted from them, because of someone else? I don't wanna be commited or tied down to anything right now, maybe that's a terrible way to be, but I'm young and I don't plan to be in anything serious for a while. There's things you get from a commited relationship that you can only get from a relationship though, and it's a bit...'lonely' sometimes not having those, I guess, but as I said there's alot of stresses that you only get from relationships, too. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 19, 2009 Considering I've not been in a relationship of any kind for about 7 years, I'm not really lonely in the slightest. I know that if I get lonely, I have friends and people around me to help me out of it. At least I'd hope they'd help me out of it as I help them. I have to say I'm not the kind of guy who goes 'out on the pull' so to say because I think it's just a vulgar idea. Plus, I hate the whole idea of approaching a woman at a bar or something and trying to think of something to say that won't sound patronising or fabricated. I haven't let people set me up, yet although some friends were pushing the idea of setting me up with someone else we hang out with which coincidently is the girl I'm going to ask out when I next meet her. I'd probably say I'm the kind of guy who waits and when I find the right person, then that's when I'll do something about it. To say I haven't found the 'right' person in 7 years is off because I have met a few that'd consider to be the 'right' person but I always thought it'd be better to put education first and get that sorted and as a result, I missed my chances. People may read that and find it silly but when I was younger, I wasn't able to juggle social and academic life so I had to make the obvious sacrifice. But I think it's better to wait for the right person rather than seek her out, at least for me anyway. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 19, 2009 My awesome friend used Match and it worked great. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 19, 2009 Often feeling lonely in the love department, I have thought a lot about why. Why is it that I'm so desperately longing for someone to truly love? Why is it that I feel jealous every time one of my friends speak of their love life? Why am I getting myself down over my lack of the same? I think the deepest instinct is the desire to be loved. I'm a hopeless romantic, and I long for a girl to truly love me. I know there are some elements of childish seeking of reassurance mixed in, too - wanting to be reassured that I'm not a loser, not annoying or ugly or boring to be around. And it's totally ridiculous. I have many great friends who I know likes me, and I value them oh so dearly. Yet I can still get into spirals of depressing thoughts as I fear I may never find true love. But is there even such a thing as "true love"? Can I be sure that if I ever find someone, I will love her and she will love me? I have experienced one short-lived romance in my life, one that ended as quickly as it began - and it was because I didn't feel we were right for each other. How do I know if I'll ever find a girl that feels right to be with? And what are the chances that she'll feel right being with me? One time in my life have I felt truly in love with someone - maybe I even still feel it, I'm not sure anymore. But she never felt that way about me. Will I ever find one who will? And will I feel the same about her? Looking at the above, I can't believe how whiny I can be. I have a great life, a fine health, amazing friends and solid plans for the future. Why should it bother me that I don't have a girlfriend? There are many things to worry about when you have a girlfriend, life could get complicated - why trouble myself with it? Because I have a desperate desire to be loved and to love back. Oh, and I can be horny as heck. Friggin' hormones ... So yeah, that concludes the most whiny and emotional post you'll hopefully ever have to endure from me. Sadly enough, the thoughts written above are entirely real. I'm afraid they're not even exaggerated. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 19, 2009 (edited) /*CENSORED*/ Edited July 19, 2009 by Pyxis Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 19, 2009 I've known and loved my gf for 9 years, so life doesn't exist without her and she is what life is all about for me. Everything I do is for her. ... get out. Yeah let us be depressed by ourselves :cry: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 19, 2009 I've known and loved my gf for 9 years, so life doesn't exist without her and she is what life is all about for me. Everything I do is for her. Stop the boasting and fuck off. Yeah, so ronery... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 19, 2009 I must agree with Raining_again and that's how I feel, or atleast used too. 95% of the time I would be fine but I have been feeling like I just need someone to cuddle and all of that love riddled stuff that comes with it, its probably because so many of my friends have ended up pairing up recently that im one of the few single people I know. And with all of my close friends being more interested in their current relationships its meant I go out less and feel like I generally have less friends. Oh how much I can moan when I get onto this subject :P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 19, 2009 I must agree with Raining_again and that's how I feel, or atleast used too. 95% of the time I would be fine but I have been feeling like I just need someone to cuddle and all of that love riddled stuff that comes with it, its probably because so many of my friends have ended up pairing up recently that im one of the few single people I know. And with all of my close friends being more interested in their current relationships its meant I go out less and feel like I generally have less friends. Oh how much I can moan when I get onto this subject :P You agree with me? yaay! who needs match.com ehhh Also the second bolded bit is so so true. Mates get forgotten about when love comes along. Its really annoying. Thankfully one of my now closest friends (buttons) finds time for meee too (she rocks) My younger sister is in the same position actually. Her best mate has just had a child with her boyfriend, and shes completely forgotten about her mates. Pretty sad really. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 19, 2009 Im pretty much happy being perpetually single with the rare date once in a blue moon. Im not saying its necessarily bad to have a girlfriend or significant other but being single just works out better for me. Plus im LOADED. My family also seems to be cursed with bad relationships, so it does affect my own outlook too. Is it wrong that the only reason id ever want to get married is to have a kid? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 19, 2009 You agree with me? yaay! who needs match.com ehhh Also the second bolded bit is so so true. Mates get forgotten about when love comes along. Its really annoying. Thankfully one of my now closest friends (buttons) finds time for meee too (she rocks) My younger sister is in the same position actually. Her best mate has just had a child with her boyfriend, and shes completely forgotten about her mates. Pretty sad really. That sums up my situation quite well too. What I've found is that some of my mates with girlfriends will get together and do things in pairs of couples. All of my friends who I do things with, bar one, are in relationships so it does make it tricky. But I'm sure it would change me too if i was in a committed situation, so I don't hold it against them. It's just that I see there lives moving on and mine comparatively standing still. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 19, 2009 Just keep your options open, and give your self some morals. Give people a chance, if you pass everyone by then you might miss out on someone you would be happy with. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 19, 2009 Just keep your options open, and give your self some morals.Give people a chance, if you pass everyone by then you might miss out on someone you would be happy with. Excuse me while I go throw up from the huge amount of corn in that post! :p I don't really know. I want a relationship but I'm enjoying being single. Beng in a relationship doesn't necessarily mean you can't see your mates, thats what I'm looking for. My ex didn't really feel like mixing with my lot and then wondered why I felt no need to try hanging with her girl only mates after several meetings. The hypocrisy was killing me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 19, 2009 Looking for a relationship is probably one of the hardest things to look for. It's not like you can go out to a club and "find" one, or get it at the supermarket. "I'll have some chocolates, wine and some love, please." Looking for eet probably just makes you feel even more lonely. Also: "The next person I go out with is someone who I will actually like." Well, if you didn't like someone, why go out with them? Or, also, how do you know you will actually like them or not. Ahh, double jeopardy! The key thing really is to give everything a chance and do your very best. I was never an advocator of long-distance relationships, but I'm in one now because I think there's no harm in trying. If it works, then wohoo, but if it doesn't, then at least I've tried my very best to make it work, and just maybe it wasn't meant to be. After my ex, I think I was single for about a year and a half, or so, but I did have many little flings and adventures along that time. Plenty of women passed through the fires of my love, and some just did not make it out alive. But, for many reasons, each of these situations just did not work. Maybe some situations will work out better if you just stay friends, or maybe there isn't that "connection" that is so vital for a relationship to work. Life can be lonely, but life is also yours to make something of. Nobody instantly gains an awesome life overnight, its something that is always a work in progress. I'm 22 now, and I know that there's a long stretch of road out there infront of me, although it feels like I "know" life pretty well now, when I realise that there is still much to be seen and done. You're in control of your own life, so take charge: be in control of what you do and the things that you want to do. But, importantly, deal with things if they don't work out. Whether that means that you can't find someone right now, or if this internet dating thing doesn't work, you make a choice and deal with the consequences. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 20, 2009 "I'll have some chocolates, wine and some love, please." Paper or plastic? Hurhurhur... Love is not overrated, but there's plenty of time for it in life. If you go into every relationship expecting "The One" you'll be disappointed. And besides, Keanu Reeves looks funny. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
