Depression

[conzer16]

I'm pretty damn lucky in the fact I've never suffered any sort of depression. ut I have a friend and members of my family who have suffered, some worse than others .

 

It's horrible. It's almost as horrible watching what it does to someone.

[Iun]

It's difficult to watch from the outside, there's sometimes no logical or sensible reason for why people feel the way people do.

 

I remember when I was a teenager my parents would not allow me to have feelings or be upset unless I explained to them precisely why. And when I did, they'd always knock the reasons down one by one.

[Ramar]

Just to depress you guys some more

 

"You scored a total of 4."

 

To be fair I've always looked on the bright side of life, when something bad happens I usually say "could be worse, you could be dead". As long as I'm alive I'm happy, when the shit hits the pan I calculate the best way to deal with it. That doesn't mean I'm hundred percent happy about my life and it's not perfect, but I'm not going to let it get me down.

[MoogleViper]

I score 40 which is "Moderate - Severe". I wouldn't consider myself "depressed". I do think it's psychological. I was more depressed a few months ago. I'm not constantly unhappy. But when I do have good feelings I have bad ones afterwards. A lot of people think I'm a happy person because I'm really loud and always joking. And yeah you feel great when you are making people laugh. But then you go home and are alone, and nobody's laughing anymore. It leaves you with a feeling of emptyness inside. As if everything was pointless.

 

I know what it's like to feel invisible Daft, whenever I post here no-one pays attention or just repeats what I've said and then they are quoted ad nauseum.

 

A similar thing happened at school for me - I was one of the most senior musicians there, I was involved with virtually everything and eveyone knew it. But I left the music teacher's pride and joy (the Senior Choir) and when it came to prize giving he gave me a junior prize for the Jazz Quartet and nothing else after 6 years of unbending and unbroken service to the schools music.

 

What it boils down to is that people have short memories when it comes to things they don't want to be reminded of. And particularly in large social groups the "Alpha" will always be rewarded, even if they are not really top dog, but only elevated for their popularity. We suffered from that a lot in our University sports teams: the popular people were always the forward players, believing their social popularity would translate into match-winning ability. Needless to say it didn't, but that fact was papered over and they were always name-checked when the backs kept a clean sheet and they managed to muddle a shot into the back of the net.

 

God, now I'm depressed.

 

I pay attention to your posts. You are one of my favourite members on here.

 

The rest of your post was spot on. Especially the football parts. Man I have bad memories as a centre back. It really is a horrible position. A striker can have a bad game but score one or two goals and they are praised. The defence can play a blinder but let one or two goals in and they are slaughtered. It's the same for goalies. In our team we had a shit midfield. So we would clear the ball and it would come straight back. So we would be constantly defending. So we would play a good game but when you are having to break down an attack every 30 seconds you are bound to let some go in. But was it the midfield or forwards fault for not doing their job? No it was the defence's for letting them get through.

[Iun]

Aw, you're a sweetie.

 

Anyway, continuing with the football example, I was 13 and playing 1st Eleven football for 3 months, then one guy got pissed with me because I lambasted his poor attacks (run at defenders with ball when he had no pace) and I got taken down the pecking order because he was popular with the others. The team actually deprived itself of a good asset and as a result, started to flounder. They deserved it, frankly. At the time I was really cut up watching from the sidelines. It just highlighted everything that is wrong with our social structure, it's the top dog who gets the picking, not the one who is best, just the one who shouts loudest.

 

Same with our rugby side, full of a bunch of people who were convinced they were good at the game either because their fathers played (our community was an old mining town with several rugby clubs) or because they were popular and had to be in every team. Not that I played rugby of course, being on the small side, but some genuinely good people were left out in favour of the ones who talked about their fathers in the loudest voices.

 

Depresson can manifest itself in many forms at any time, and just because you're happy one minute, doesn't guarantee the next minute will be filled with the same joie de vivre. That's what most people wh haven't been ill with this before can't get their heads round properly: depression doesn't give you a warning sign, it just happens and you have to deal with it.

[Strider]

I feel depressed every so often. Usually its about having to do the same thing over and over and over and over and over again, such as things at school where nothing hardly ever changes.

[mcj metroid]

 

I never really tell people how I feel though. I usually try and work stuff out by myself. There are some subjects that I am bursting to talk about but at the same time I really don't want to talk about. I doubt that would make sense unless you've felt the same kind of thing before.

!!

 

 

I know exactly what you mean but it is hard to explain.. I avoid that for reason i said a while ago I'm afraid of being seen as a complainer the whole time when people clearly have worse problems.. That and I make friends worry sometimes.. and I don't want that at all.

[DomJcg]

I got 6 then i did the test again and answered as negatively as possible...and got 90

[killer kirby]

Depression is a funny thing for me.

I had it, but it took me 4 or more years to realize that I was depressed, and because of that I didn't do well at school.

Now, I am taking it easy but I am getting better ^_^

[mcj metroid]

I got 6 then i did the test again and answered as negatively as possible...and got 90

 

 

what does it say for 90?

get........help......go...now!

[DomJcg]

what does it say for 90?

get........help......go...now!

 

pretty much =D, but then it reminds you its not a diagnois when it so is >.>

[rokhed00]

Scored 46 on the depression test.

Have been pretty depressed on and off for the last six months or so about how my life was forced down the wrong course, deliberately hurt myself several times, and seriously thought about killing myself a few times. Feeling a bit better about things now I've decided to get my life back on the track it should have been originally, but am still getting attacks of serious depression and am seeing my doctor on Monday to get something to help matters.

[Triple_C]

I got 33. Once I thought was really depressed, then it turned out it was just hunger... (though I was actually really sad)

For the guy who wanted to know what ninety was:

You are having suicidal thoughts. This is a serious warning sign, and you must seek help quickly.

 

You have the symptoms of severe depression. The condition seems to cause serious problems in your everyday life, and you should consult your doctor immediately.

 

Also, awesome pirate joke.

[The Bard]

I don't usually tell people these things, because I'm afraid of them losing respect for me, but that's one of the reasons for my depression to begin with, so here goes;

 

I'm on pretty insane dosages of medication, mostly stimulants, because I've lost most of my enthusiasm for pretty much everything that used to excite me. Been seeing a doctor since I tried to overdose on Ketamine and vodka a year ago. I'm far too jaded for an eighteen year old, there are so many things I wanted to do with my life, with the problem being that everyone expects me to bend to their will. I've been told pretty much all my life that everything I want to do is inevitably just a pipe dream, and that it'll never happen, so I might as well stick with something safe. Something respectable. Well, I got 3 A's at A level, and I'm not at uni because I guess I'm just not anxious enough to please anyone anymore, at least not enough to go jumping through hoops for their satisfaction, so I guess I'm just trapped here, bound by dependency on people who will never even try to understand my true intent. I also really, really hate myself. I can't understand why anyone actually likes me, especially girls, although that's another chapter entirely.

 

Christ, that reads like one big, angsty cliche. I think the thing that throws people though, is the fact that I hide it completely, a lot of the time, and it usually just comes out as anger, which just makes people think of me as some complacent prick. It's alright in the end though, just pass me the booze.[/emo]

[MoogleViper]

I got 33. Once I thought was really depressed, then it turned out it was just hunger...

 

Haha that really made me laugh. I hope you weren't being serious.

 

I don't usually tell people these things, because I'm afraid of them losing respect for me, but that's one of the reasons for my depression to begin with, so here goes;

 

I'm on pretty insane dosages of medication, mostly stimulants, because I've lost most of my enthusiasm for pretty much everything that used to excite me. Been seeing a doctor since I tried to overdose on Ketamine and vodka a year ago. I'm far too jaded for an eighteen year old, there are so many things I wanted to do with my life, with the problem being that everyone expects me to bend to their will. I've been told pretty much all my life that everything I want to do is inevitably just a pipe dream, and that it'll never happen, so I might as well stick with something safe. Something respectable. Well, I got 3 A's at A level, and I'm not at uni because I guess I'm just not anxious enough to please anyone anymore, at least not enough to go jumping through hoops for their satisfaction, so I guess I'm just trapped here, bound by dependency on people who will never even try to understand my true intent. I also really, really hate myself. I can't understand why anyone actually likes me, especially girls, although that's another chapter entirely.

 

Christ, that reads like one big, angsty cliche. I think the thing that throws people though, is the fact that I hide it completely, a lot of the time, and it usually just comes out as anger, which just makes people think of me as some complacent prick. It's alright in the end though, just pass me the booze.[/emo]

 

You shouldn't not go to uni because of other people if it's what you want.

 

I've had people expecting great things from me. Ever since infants people have told me that I was a very gifted child and I could do great things when I was older. And it was a great feeling being told that. But then you get older and people start expecting things from you and it's really depressing. It's sounds stupid and it probably is but it makes you less enthusiastic to do things. That's partly the reason for my less than perfect GCSE results (that and I'm really lazy). I was predicted straight A*s. But it really annoyed me that everybody kept hammering down at me that I should be getting these great results and I wasn't doing enough work that I just didn't care about them that much. I didn't do any revision and hardly did my coursework. I just turned up to the exams and my results weren't bad (A*, 4As, 4Bs, C). But whenever I told people they were like "Oh I bet you got straight A*s. (I tell them my results) Oh my god I thought you would get better than that, I beat you." Yeah thanks a lot bitch. Way to make me feel better.

[The Bard]

Haha that really made me laugh. I hope you weren't being serious.

 

You shouldn't not go to uni because of other people if it's what you want.

 

I've had people expecting great things from me. Ever since infants people have told me that I was a very gifted child and I could do great things when I was older. And it was a great feeling being told that. But then you get older and people start expecting things from you and it's really depressing. It's sounds stupid and it probably is but it makes you less enthusiastic to do things. That's partly the reason for my less than perfect GCSE results (that and I'm really lazy). I was predicted straight A*s. But it really annoyed me that everybody kept hammering down at me that I should be getting these great results and I wasn't doing enough work that I just didn't care about them that much. I didn't do any revision and hardly did my coursework. I just turned up to the exams and my results weren't bad (A*, 4As, 4Bs, C). But whenever I told people they were like "Oh I bet you got straight A*s. (I tell them my results) Oh my god I thought you would get better than that, I beat you." Yeah thanks a lot bitch. Way to make me feel better.

 

 

Exactly. Why labour through the tiresome process of studying subjects that you have nothing but contempt for (here's looking at you, Geography), just because you have more ability than most people? What is that going to do for you at the end of the day? Nothing. I almost applied for medicine last year, because my parents wanted me to, and in the end I told them to fuck off, because that would have been five years of my life down the shitter. Instead, I wasted a year rotting away at home while I convince them to let me do whats best for me at uni, and ironically, while everyone else is off doing far better than I am. Why is life so much easier for the retarded kids?

 

[mcj metroid]

 

 

Exactly. Why labour through the tiresome process of studying subjects that you have nothing but contempt for (here's looking at you, Geography), just because you have more ability than most people? What is that going to do for you at the end of the day? Nothing. I almost applied for medicine last year, because my parents wanted me to, and in the end I told them to fuck off, because that would have been five years of my life down the shitter. Instead, I wasted a year rotting away at home while I convince them to let me do whats best for me at uni, and ironically, while everyone else is off doing far better than I am. Why is life so much easier for the retarded kids?

 

 

people study for different reasons. Some have the determination of wanting to be the best,some just want to be rich in the long term but I've thought like you before though.

 

But what makes you think life is much easier for stupid people?

[Wesley]

What do you actually want to do, Bard?

[Ramar]

I don't usually tell people these things, because I'm afraid of them losing respect for me, but that's one of the reasons for my depression to begin with, so here goes;

 

I'm on pretty insane dosages of medication, mostly stimulants, because I've lost most of my enthusiasm for pretty much everything that used to excite me. Been seeing a doctor since I tried to overdose on Ketamine and vodka a year ago. I'm far too jaded for an eighteen year old, there are so many things I wanted to do with my life, with the problem being that everyone expects me to bend to their will. I've been told pretty much all my life that everything I want to do is inevitably just a pipe dream, and that it'll never happen, so I might as well stick with something safe. Something respectable. Well, I got 3 A's at A level, and I'm not at uni because I guess I'm just not anxious enough to please anyone anymore, at least not enough to go jumping through hoops for their satisfaction, so I guess I'm just trapped here, bound by dependency on people who will never even try to understand my true intent. I also really, really hate myself. I can't understand why anyone actually likes me, especially girls, although that's another chapter entirely.

 

Christ, that reads like one big, angsty cliche. I think the thing that throws people though, is the fact that I hide it completely, a lot of the time, and it usually just comes out as anger, which just makes people think of me as some complacent prick. It's alright in the end though, just pass me the booze.[/emo]

 

Bard, that explains a lot (that last paragraph at least), I always thought you were just angry all the time. Fair play to you for getting that off your chest, if it means anything I have a lot more respect for you now.

[killthenet]

I see what you mean Bard. It seems to me that people, well, retarded people as you called them, just have different expectations and different goals than people like you and me. They're happy just to work some crappy job so that they can enjoy a comfortable existance. To them creating something or devoting your life to a creative project seems silly, they just don't see any importance in it unless you end up becoming successful.

[AshMat]

Couple of years ago i was the kind of kid that would get depressed at shit all and would make something out of nothing because it would make me unhappy.

 

Now i find it impossible to be sad for more than 5 minutes.

[Bluejay]

I don't usually tell people these things, because I'm afraid of them losing respect for me, but that's one of the reasons for my depression to begin with, so here goes;

 

I'm on pretty insane dosages of medication, mostly stimulants, because I've lost most of my enthusiasm for pretty much everything that used to excite me. Been seeing a doctor since I tried to overdose on Ketamine and vodka a year ago. I'm far too jaded for an eighteen year old, there are so many things I wanted to do with my life, with the problem being that everyone expects me to bend to their will. I've been told pretty much all my life that everything I want to do is inevitably just a pipe dream, and that it'll never happen, so I might as well stick with something safe. Something respectable. Well, I got 3 A's at A level, and I'm not at uni because I guess I'm just not anxious enough to please anyone anymore, at least not enough to go jumping through hoops for their satisfaction, so I guess I'm just trapped here, bound by dependency on people who will never even try to understand my true intent. I also really, really hate myself. I can't understand why anyone actually likes me, especially girls, although that's another chapter entirely.

 

Christ, that reads like one big, angsty cliche. I think the thing that throws people though, is the fact that I hide it completely, a lot of the time, and it usually just comes out as anger, which just makes people think of me as some complacent prick. It's alright in the end though, just pass me the booze.[/emo]

 

I'm that one.

 

I'm not depressed though. Although, i kinda get a bit down if I'm on my own for any period of time. Some people are good on their own, me not so much.

 

I would break down so fast in solitary isolation.

[DCK]

I don't usually tell people these things, because I'm afraid of them losing respect for me, but that's one of the reasons for my depression to begin with, so here goes;

 

I'm on pretty insane dosages of medication, mostly stimulants, because I've lost most of my enthusiasm for pretty much everything that used to excite me. Been seeing a doctor since I tried to overdose on Ketamine and vodka a year ago. I'm far too jaded for an eighteen year old, there are so many things I wanted to do with my life, with the problem being that everyone expects me to bend to their will. I've been told pretty much all my life that everything I want to do is inevitably just a pipe dream, and that it'll never happen, so I might as well stick with something safe. Something respectable. Well, I got 3 A's at A level, and I'm not at uni because I guess I'm just not anxious enough to please anyone anymore, at least not enough to go jumping through hoops for their satisfaction, so I guess I'm just trapped here, bound by dependency on people who will never even try to understand my true intent. I also really, really hate myself. I can't understand why anyone actually likes me, especially girls, although that's another chapter entirely.

 

Christ, that reads like one big, angsty cliche. I think the thing that throws people though, is the fact that I hide it completely, a lot of the time, and it usually just comes out as anger, which just makes people think of me as some complacent prick. It's alright in the end though, just pass me the booze.[/emo]

Wow, that explains a LOT. Thanks for sharing that, it takes a lot of courage, I'm sure.

 

It seems so contradictory though, you have no interest in things yourself and you won't let other people tell you what to do, resulting in nothing. You're not getting anywhere either way.

 

What is it you really want to do with your life then?

[AshMat]

I scored an 8, but only because of the "do things slowly" and that, because i'm lazy :p

Should be lower imo.

[mcj metroid]

I scored an 8, but only because of the "do things slowly" and that, because i'm lazy :p

Should be lower imo.

 

Yes that was badly asked actually. The onyl thing that brought me down was the death thing.. do i think about it? hell no.