Emasher Posted January 3, 2008 Author Share Posted January 3, 2008 My economics lessons at college were legendary. There were never more than 6 of us, and our teacher was the head of department so he was always late. So before each lesson we'd do something to the room -- swap teh bin's contents with teh drawer's; move the desk into the cupboard; put everything from inside teh cupboard against teh door, so when he entered it all fell down; roated all teh furniture so he taught us infront of the window (roffles, he drew on it with pen too); turning the furniture upside down and sitting upside down, writing upside down while he wrote on teh board upside down; moving all teh furniture to the corridor outside the room - and the ultimate! Moving all the furniture so when he entered the room and looked out of the (first floor!) window he saw us all seated behind desks perfectly squared up below him. He taught 5 mins out the window then came down and we had a lesson outside! The teacher was seriously awesome about it all, and he said he really looked forwards to our lessons and what we could come up with. I remember having a homework for a lesson on teh Budget '05, and I made it up in 10 mins over break - it involved dinosaurs and everything! School was full of stuff like this, but economics must've been teh only time all teh students and the teacher found it funny. I laughed so hard at that. Another thing that happened was: A kid had to leave the class early for something and our resident class clown said to him "by *kids name*, I love you, I want to F*** you. so the teacher said come out into the hall I need to talk to you. So as they left another kid got up to go talk to his friend and when the teacher came in she got the kid that was standing to come talk to her in the hall. So the kid who just came back jumped on a rather large kids lap, started bouncing up and down and then said "I want a pony, and a dolly..." so the rather large kid threw the kid across the room (literally) and he crashed into the white board. The whole class was pissing themselves laughing, and then the teacher came back in the room... Then a few years ago there were a couple kids who got the entire class to stay 20 minutes after school (it was a new teacher who had just started). Then one of the kids bolted and almost made it to. After that we attempted to unionize the class. Before we could get enough people to join however another teacher caught us. One time we got a new kid who had come from egypt and didn't speak english very well. When he was thirsty he asked the teacher if he could go drinking. Then we had this one teacher last year, he's been teaching at my school for about 40 years and had taught some of the kids parents. He's a legend in the area. He's stapled kids to the wall. Beaten kids down with a giant sword, thrown meter sticks across the room. He got off topic easier than any other teacher but we also learned more from him than any other teacher about stuff like politics and the economy, also sometimes very off topic stuff like horses. One thing that helped though was he taught the most interesting coarse I've ever taken, it was the history of Ancient Greece, The Roman Empire (we did the Romans for over 3 months and they had a separate exam) and then the middle ages and renaissance periods. There was one incident where he actually held a knife to a kid to demonstrate the control that the Romans had over ancient europe. There were so many events that happened in this class I don't think I can begin to list everything. Though I will say that I was the best student in the class. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonnas Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 My class had several clowns. So many legendary moments... In TIC (computer class), our teacher wasn't very bright. She once used a computer from one of our clowns to teach the class via powerpoint. She interrupted the class at a given point to explain something to another student. The class clown used this interruption to play some Medal of Honor while the wall projector was still turned on, so the whole class could see what he was doing (the whole class was playing with him via LAN too ). Meanwhile, the teacher went back to teaching us. She didn't notice the projector was showing a LAN game. She just acted as if everything was normal. She never saw a thing. Also, in one Portuguese class, one of the books in our plan mentions a machine called "Passarola" (lit. translation: Birdie). One of our class clowns would often joke around that name, the most memorable being: «I wonder if *girl name*'s "birdie" smells like cod...» It just came out of nowhere. There are plenty, but they either involve Portuguese humor, or can't be told in written form. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roostophe Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 I used to have one feck of a laugh in Drama. There was one lad who kept annoying a girl by putting on a stupid voice and yelling out her name whenever he saw her, but this came to an abrupt end when she kicked him in the bollocks. Another moment was when we were celebrating completing our Scripted Performances in Drama, and we had a little party in the lesson. The Headmaster came in to congratulate us. He was bald, and my teacher was doing remarks to his slaphead behind his back while he congratulated us. The look when he got caught was priceless. One of my classmates' dad used to work on the Board at Aston Villa (He was actually once in charge of the club while the chairman was ill.), and he was also a bit of a nutter, and very gullible. My English teacher told him that one of the Villa players was in reception. So he went ALL the way to reception, on the other side of school, and came back with a disappointed look. Then was told the Villa player was at the Sports Hall. So off he went, and came back with a look of utter disappointment, but a priceless look all the same. The same lad also started a song for our Maths teacher. Her name was Miss McWilliams, and he would sing her name to the tune of 'Too Good To Be True' by Andy Williams. As well as creating a quiz team named 'Inter Me Nan'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EEVILMURRAY Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 In college I got my business teacher numourous times with a Whopee Cushion. That's right. I went old school. i was put in the bottom maths class with the idiot kids... because.. well, i'm retarded at maths ^__^ I once copied a mate's answers on a test and got moved into the higher group whilst he remained on the medium group . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcj metroid Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 In business discussion that section about needs and wants. student: Miss is sex a need or a want? was about 7 years ago now still remember it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arab_freak Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Holy shit, I HAVE HUNDREDS. Our most recent one involved the class douche (he's literally the most hated person in my school). During a class intermission he took out his laptop and started playing Need For Speed. The math teacher walked in and he didn't notice her, so he kept on playing. About a minute or so his cellphone rang and he answered it. "Hello? Yes pappy..." (He calls his father pappy). The teacher just snapped right there and yelled "WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? YOUR OFFICE?!" And get this...he told her "I'm sorry miss, I'll put my mobile on silentz." SILENTZ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 I once copied a mate's answers on a test and got moved into the higher group whilst he remained on the medium group . Holy crap! Its a conspiracy! Same thing happened with me. Me and my mate worked together in maths, had exactly the same answers for all our work. I went into top set he went into 3rd set. WTF?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EEVILMURRAY Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Well I only copied some, the ones I didn't must've been so pr0. Holy shit, I HAVE HUNDREDS. We're asking about stories. Not pictures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emasher Posted January 4, 2008 Author Share Posted January 4, 2008 Holy crap! Its a conspiracy! Same thing happened with me. Me and my mate worked together in maths, had exactly the same answers for all our work. I went into top set he went into 3rd set. WTF?! Perhaps the teacher new you were copying off each other and thought that you were the one who came up with all the answers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 She must of guessed in that case cos' it was my mate who did the majority. And she never paid attention anyway. We also came up with our own written language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoogleViper Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 One time in ICT we put porn onto our teacher's computer whilst it was connected to the overhead projector. He just walked in and turned it off casually. So I asked him if he had seen it before. Another time in like year 8 three lads stood on a desk and pretended to bum each other. The teacher walked in without them realising. They were very embarrased when he noticed them. Once a female teacher was bent over looking at sombody's work. So this lad puts his face about 15cm from her arse and starts acting as if he is licking her arsehole out. But like an idiot he closes his eyes. Thus he didn't notice her stand up and turn round. There seems to be a link with all of my memories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluejay Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 One time in ICT we put porn onto our teacher's computer whilst it was connected to the overhead projector. He just walked in and turned it off casually. So I asked him if he had seen it before. Another time in like year 8 three lads stood on a desk and pretended to bum each other. The teacher walked in without them realising. They were very embarrased when he noticed them. Once a female teacher was bent over looking at sombody's work. So this lad puts his face about 15cm from her arse and starts acting as if he is licking her arsehole out. But like an idiot he closes his eyes. Thus he didn't notice her stand up and turn round. There seems to be a link with all of my memories. The link is that while you write these stories as though you saw them happening, they are autobiographical? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonnas Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Once a female teacher was bent over looking at sombody's work. So this lad puts his face about 15cm from her arse and starts acting as if he is licking her arsehole out. But like an idiot he closes his eyes. Thus he didn't notice her stand up and turn round. Idiot. Plenty of my colleagues did similar things. But our Physics/Chemistry teacher never noticed the positions, or the tongues, or the pics taken... They were much stealthier. And organized. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supergrunch Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Holy crap! Its a conspiracy! Same thing happened with me. Me and my mate worked together in maths, had exactly the same answers for all our work. I went into top set he went into 3rd set. WTF?! When I moved to secondary school, one other guy from my primary school went to the same school as me... in fact it was Surrealist, he's an inactive member here. Anyway, I got put in the middle maths set and he got put in the top set, even though I got twice what he'd got on the entrance maths exam... so yeah, they mixed us up. I had great fun in the middle set (the teacher was a legend who introduced me to go) but I'm not sure Surrealist enjoyed the top set so much - the teacher made them sit in order of how well they were doing, and he was always last. As for class clowns... thy can be very annoying, but they're sometimes hilarious. I've witnessed many legendary moments - if I recall any I'll be sure to post them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirkatronics Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 When I moved to secondary school, one other guy from my primary school went to the same school as me... in fact it was Surrealist, he's an inactive member here. Anyway, I got put in the middle maths set and he got put in the top set, even though I got twice what he'd got on the entrance maths exam... so yeah, they mixed us up. I had great fun in the middle set (the teacher was a legend who introduced me to go) but I'm not sure Surrealist enjoyed the top set so much - the teacher made them sit in order of how well they were doing, and he was always last. As for class clowns... thy can be very annoying, but they're sometimes hilarious. I've witnessed many legendary moments - if I recall any I'll be sure to post them. thats not fair, all the smart ones gaining info of eachotehr whilst the not so clever ones had to sit with idiots.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supergrunch Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 thats not fair, all the smart ones gaining info of eachotehr whilst the not so clever ones had to sit with idiots.. Bear in mind this was the top maths set of 5, so they were all supposed to be clever. I don't agree with it though, it seems a bit over the top. Actually, I had that teacher later on for A level... he was pretty awful at teaching (i.e. he sat there and let us do anything) but he was very good at statistics - I remember him proving the central limit theorem and showing us about the chi-squared decomposition theorem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramar Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 It's not technically a clown but it's an academic story. I had this quality Electronics teacher at sixth form and he was teaching us how simple it was to make capacitors. Using some sheets of plastic, a lot of tin foil and a power supply he hooked it all up and began to explain the experiment. So he gets to the line "Now I have to be careful here, 6 thousand volts and I don't want...aaaahhH!!!!!" He electricuted himself. The whole class bursts out laughing, the next line was classic, he said "That's already happened to me once today". The class proceeded to piss itself laughing. Edit - Reading back I am a very boring writer, and it sounds really unfunny. But seeing an old welshman zap himself with 6k volts was funny at the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoogleViper Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 One time in PE some lad did a rubbish bowl (cricket) and somebody shouted "That was crap." So the PE teacher shouts, "That's not what your mum said last night." Once in PE we were on the field playing cricket and the PE teacher starts shouting at this lazy fat lad to do some work. So the fat lad starts insulting him and jokingly starts a fight with him. So the PE teacher chucks him to the ground, kneels on his chest (we were in year 9 at the time and I'd say the teacher weighs about 14st) and starts slapping his face. I'm sure you can guess that it was the same PE teacher in both stories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EEVILMURRAY Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 One time in ICT we put porn onto our teacher's computer whilst it was connected to the overhead projector. He just walked in and turned it off casually. So I asked him if he had seen it before. That's a fucking awesome story. Where's the dramatic conclusion? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoogleViper Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 That's a fucking awesome story. Where's the dramatic conclusion? That was the strangest part. Maybe he didn't hear me because he was a bit deaf, but he just walked out of the room without saying anything. We all got really confused and really scared. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wesley Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 I threw a rubber at a disabled kids helper once. I hit her on the head. Then denied the whole thing. Why? Well, I was a bad aim and was aiming for someone completely different. (No, not the disabled kid.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EEVILMURRAY Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 That was the strangest part. Maybe he didn't hear me because he was a bit deaf, but he just walked out of the room without saying anything. We all got really confused and really scared. So he walked in, turned off the porn and walked out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoogleViper Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 So he walked in, turned off the porn and walked out? Well he walked in, turned off the porn, typed something up on word for about 2 minutes, then walked out. We thought of lots of reasons for his actions. I personally think he thought it was a pop up, or he was too embarrassed to ask the class about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emasher Posted January 6, 2008 Author Share Posted January 6, 2008 About a week before christmas holidays, a page came out of the printer in the computer lab my class was in. A girl walked up to the printer and looked at the page and said "there's something gnarly in the printer". It turned out to be a man porn picture. The substitute teacher sent it down to the office so they could find out who printed it. About minute latter the guy who printed it got caught by a TA. The class was laughing for a few minutes because we all thought this kid was a homophobe by the way he acted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Posted January 6, 2008 Share Posted January 6, 2008 Not really a class clown story but one time this guy in my PE class who always tries to get unfair advantages cut the corners when we were playing softball so the teacher made him go back to the start and then shouted out, "You're fast getting the reception of being a cheatin Arab, Joe!". In my 3rd year physics class we had the stupidest teacher ever who didn't notice anything. At the back of the classroom there was a big bench for experiments to be done on, it was very solid, had sinks/gas taps etc. We used to see how many laps we could run round it in a period. Most people would go round really slowly and maybe get 3 or 4 in a lesson but this one guy sprinted round once and got round over 30 times before the teacher noticed. I've got loads more stories too but can't remember any of them at the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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