Slaggis Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 My friend told me he fancied me last week. I don't return the sentiment. Now its all gone a bit weird. Anyone else had this problem? Yup. It can get really uncomfortable knowing you've said no to them. But you've just got to try and laugh about it and forget it was ever said.
chairdriver Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 My friend told me he fancied me last week. I don't return the sentiment. Now its all gone a bit weird. Anyone else had this problem? Like story of my life. (Except the reverse) I only ever fancy straight guys, and if they find out it always goes really awkward.
Daft Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Like story of my life. (Except the reverse) I only ever fancy straight guys, and if they find out it always goes really awkward. Yeah, definitely know that feeling but I'm normally really quite about who I fancy. The weird thing was I suspected it but its when he told me, thats when things got a bit uncomfortable....I changed the conversation quickly.
rokhed00 Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 Looks like my first proper bisexual* moment is coming up. Why is it that transexuals look way way better for their age than women though? * kissing doesn't count
triforce_keeper Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 Grrrrr, in such a state over a guy I know I can't have. I'm literally crying every night about him, I wanna get over him but I can't because there is something that's telling me he is gay and likes me back. He has all the fucking traits, but he says he isn't, and were great friends at the moment, and it's just becoming increasingly harder. /Feeling sorry for my self = over.
triforce_keeper Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 Yeah, but that was before we were even friends. Didn't go down to well, as that pushed him father away. But now were close, and I think he thinks that I don't like him anymore...
Iun Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 *hugs for you honey* Just be patient, all you need to do is let him know that you really care about him and that you will no matter what.
Jamba Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 Grrrrr, in such a state over a guy I know I can't have. I'm literally crying every night about him, I wanna get over him but I can't because there is something that's telling me he is gay and likes me back. He has all the fucking traits, but he says he isn't, and were great friends at the moment, and it's just becoming increasingly harder. /Feeling sorry for my self = over. Don't mean to be mean man but doing what you're doing is bad for you and ruins your chances. Several points: Your life is too short to worry about this kind of thing, there are probably many more interesting people out there. Honestly, relationships and companionship and love etc. should only be a part of your life. Think about it from his perspective (that's if he is and if he is interested). Is pining for him and getting worked up about it gonna make you more attractive? Hell no! Don't let it bother you, just kick back, be confident and enjoy their company. It is likely that you have convinced yourself that they like you. In my experience (personal and otherwise) this is the case almost all the time. I don't know why and its a shame but it is just like that. It's easy to say from here but these things have to be left to let happen. They wont work well if they are forced. Plus the chances of it all exploding in your face (and not in a good way ) are too high. (P.S. If he says he's not, then he porbably isn't or not ready to be yet)
Guest Jordan Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 Triforce, sounds to me as if you're more wanting him to be gay than he wants to be... You should back off, cool your emotions about it and leave him for the mean time.
triforce_keeper Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 *hugs for you honey* Just be patient, all you need to do is let him know that you really care about him and that you will no matter what. Awwww thankyou =] Don't mean to be mean man but doing what you're doing is bad for you and ruins your chances. Several points: Your life is too short to worry about this kind of thing, there are probably many more interesting people out there. Honestly, relationships and companionship and love etc. should only be a part of your life. Think about it from his perspective (that's if he is and if he is interested). Is pining for him and getting worked up about it gonna make you more attractive? Hell no! Don't let it bother you, just kick back, be confident and enjoy their company. It is likely that you have convinced yourself that they like you. In my experience (personal and otherwise) this is the case almost all the time. I don't know why and its a shame but it is just like that. It's easy to say from here but these things have to be left to let happen. They wont work well if they are forced. Plus the chances of it all exploding in your face (and not in a good way ) are too high. 1. I said in my first post, I really want to forget about him in that way, but I really can't =/ 2. I don't show it obviously, I act normally around him. 3. I actually have more doubts than hopes. And yeah, I'm not forcing it at all. I'm just frustrated because I know I can't be with him. Thankyou for talking with me about it though, I haven't got much people I can go to about this sort of stuff =/
Ashley Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 Looks like my first proper bisexual* moment is coming up. Why is it that transexuals look way way better for their age than women though? * kissing doesn't count For serious? (yeah im in a valley girl dialect mood) You must have met better transexuals than I have. The ones I've seen look like men in wigs, very balatantly.
rokhed00 Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 For serious? (yeah im in a valley girl dialect mood) You must have met better transexuals than I have. The ones I've seen look like men in wigs, very balatantly. Well it varies, some I know were very blatantly not born a woman, but others you would never know, and not only do they look convincing, but they look about 20 years younger than they are. Speaking of which, we've discussed the whole age gap in relationships before, but what about just for casual sex, is a 20 year age gap a big deal?
ReZourceman Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 I wouldnt say so. When it comes to sex I only frown upon...like...45+ interrelating with like 14 is quite bad. Anything lower than 45 tto that and older is fair game IM0.
mr_bogus Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 I'd say when the older one approaches 30, shouldn't go for under 18 if possible. But age gap becomes less & less of an issue the older you (both) get, eg. 25y/o with 45y/o no problem... depends on the people tho - is the younger one mature & experienced for their age, or naive/being guilt-tripped/coerced beyond their own comfort, etc. I know people who are 18 and are 100x better at it than i was at the age of 20/21 when i started having my first encounters (feel free to point & laugh, i'll be laughing louder)
rokhed00 Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 I wouldnt say so. When it comes to sex I only frown upon...like...45+ interrelating with like 14 is quite bad. Anything lower than 45 tto that and older is fair game IM0. So, I'm OK at the bottom of a twenty year age gap then. To be honest feels a little weird to me going with someone so much older, but hell they don't look it. I'd say when the older one approaches 30, shouldn't go for under 18 if possible. But age gap becomes less & less of an issue the older you (both) get, eg. 25y/o with 45y/o no problem... depends on the people tho - is the younger one mature & experienced for their age, or naive/being guilt-tripped/coerced beyond their own comfort, etc. I know people who are 18 and are 100x better at it than i was at the age of 20/21 when i started having my first encounters (feel free to point & laugh, i'll be laughing louder) No laughing or pointing here, I was a very late bloomer and did everything the wrong way round. probably due to how uncomfortable I am as a man.
ReZourceman Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 So, I'm OK at the bottom of a twenty year age gap then.To be honest feels a little weird to me going with someone so much older, but hell they don't look it. I would say so.
rokhed00 Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 I would say so. The correct wording would be 'I shouldn't say no', when in reality we all know 96% of people would way no.
Daft Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 Yeah, but that was before we were even friends. Didn't go down to well, as that pushed him father away. But now were close, and I think he thinks that I don't like him anymore... *uber hug* Its sounds like you are in a solid situation atm. Iun pretty much nailed it imo. I have a pretty big crush on my friend but more than anything I enjoy just hanging out with them. You ever think about telling him again?
Slaggis Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 Probably being no use whatsoever, but seeing as your now close friends, why not tell him you still like him? You never know, he may have just been nervous last time because you weren't close friends.
triforce_keeper Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 *uber hug* Its sounds like you are in a solid situation atm. Iun pretty much nailed it imo. I have a pretty big crush on my friend but more than anything I enjoy just hanging out with them. You ever think about telling him again? Nah, I know it would just ruin things between us. Boooo, sucks XD EDIT: Haggis, he says he really likes this girl at stagecoach, and is thinking of asking her out soon. Sort of a kick in the balls for me XD
Guest bluey Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 Probably being no use whatsoever, but seeing as your now close friends, why not tell him you still like him? You never know, he may have just been nervous last time because you weren't close friends. argh noooes! daft really has a point - you're getting along well as friends now, he's already said he's not interested in anything more than friendship so it's great that you stayed friends after that ~ enjoy what you have!! if you tell him you still like him all that will do is put pressure on him make you seem all ... clingy. and sticky. like marmite. god dammit i hate marmite.... what was i saying..? oh yeah! if things are going well for you as friends then relaaaax, be happy and enjoy hanging out good things happen when you least expect them... like finding narnia!! (or a boyfriend ^__^)
Daft Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 Nah, I know it would just ruin things between us. Boooo, sucks XD If its any consolation, you ain't alone! And like Bluey said, marmite is minging. :p
Slaggis Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 I love marmite! *Hangs head in shame* Anyways, Daft and Bluey are probably right. It's better being good friends than nothing at all. Good luck anyways.
triforce_keeper Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 argh noooes!daft really has a point - you're getting along well as friends now, he's already said he's not interested in anything more than friendship so it's great that you stayed friends after that ~ enjoy what you have!! if you tell him you still like him all that will do is put pressure on him make you seem all ... clingy. and sticky. like marmite. god dammit i hate marmite.... what was i saying..? oh yeah! if things are going well for you as friends then relaaaax, be happy and enjoy hanging out good things happen when you least expect them... like finding narnia!! (or a boyfriend ^__^) Haha I love you If its any consolation, you ain't alone! And like Bluey said, marmite is minging. :p Psssh, sucks..... Thanks for all your advice, really means a lot =]
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