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I have had two weeks in agony every time I lie down - there's a problem with my left shoulder, and it means I wake up several times in the night because of the pain. I've not had a straight2-3 hours sleeps since it began. Doctors have given me pain killers, but with my high drugtolerance, they don't really make a dent. TEven better, I've had thundering diarrhoea for five days. Every time I eat or drink, it all comes out again 20 minutes later. Went to the doctor for antibiotics, which were useless, going back again today.

Good luck @Animal, go for it!

Very sorry to hear that.

Well, this is a shock - what was the cause of death?

@Animal I know this may not be what you want to hear right now, but can I strongly suggest that you listen to the song "Animal" by Def Leppard. It rocks, and so do you.

Happy birthday, may your loins be full of fruit! ...what?

Only on you, darling. Only on you. EDIT: Gah... It's 3:20am and I've not slept since 11pm, thunderous diarrhea. I've been to the bathroom five times already. There can't be any water left to poop out...

Not sexually frustrated per se - they have their pick of prostitutes, because they charge protection money to the pimps to keep the brothels from closing down. They're power hungry certainly, but also incredibly lazy. I suppose the best way to characterize them is bullies in uniform.

The APEC meeting is coming up in Shanghai next week, and whole sections of the city are closed off. Also, there are police EVERYWHERE. Interesting, given the fact that the authorities here always claim they don't have enough police to enforce basic laws, but happily arrest people for "picking quarrels" and "disturbing public order". Makes me sick.

I'm just too worried about the sudden and unexpected ocurrance of penis.

OH. SHIT. I handed in my final assignment for my PGCE about two weeks ago (well before the deadline on the 10th) and I just got an email from the teacher saying that an ENTIRE SECTION IS MISSING from the essay. I checked and yep, I forgot to copy/paste the section in to the main body from my notes. CRAPCRAPCRAPCRAP. I have sent him the updated document and the missing section, but OHBOLLOCKS this could mean that I fail the module. Which KIND OF FUCKING HIGHLIGHTS THE POINT I MADE TO THEM BEFORE: They teach us that there are numerous different means of assessment - essays, reports, continuous assessment, coursework, oral testing, presentations... and yet everything on this course is pass or fail on a final essay. If there had been some kind of continuous assessment of our work, then I would at least have evidence that I'm not a complete an total MORON WHO FORGETS TO PASTE SECTIONS OF AN ESSAY. It's 9:15pm in China, and I know I am not going to sleep because of this. EDIT: Just got an email back from the Lecturer: He says it's okay because it won't have a huge impact on the final grade. Which has gotten me worried.

So, any resolution to this? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have a new suit jacket, and I happen to look terrifically smexy in it, so everyone says.

I'd call their bluff. If you think the drink is lousy, then it's your opinion and you've got a right to it. If your review was defamatory, however, such as "I think they made this with the semen of a thousand orphaned goats" then, yeah, you could be in trouble. If it was me I'd do this: OPEN ON HAIRY BEARDY FAT MAN SITTING IN OFFICE WEATING A SHORT SLEEVED SHIRT. HE IS WRITING ON AN A4 NOTEPAD WITH A CAN OF "SemEnergy" TOTAL SEMEN AND ENERGY DRINK ON HIS DESK. HBFM: (looking up, as if noticing the camera for the first time) Oh, hello! I didn't see you come in. I was just writing down a lengthy review of SemEnergy Total Semen and Energy Drink... But I'm sure you've haven't got time to read it (throws the A4 notepad off camera left) so let me break it down into two words for you (camera zooms in on HBFM's mouth) It's. Shit. HBFM: Too quick for you? Let me slow it down a little: (we snap back to the close up of HBFM's mouth, this time playing at half speed) Iiiiiiiiitttttt'sssss. Shhhhhiiiiiittttt. HBFM: (Now with forearms on the desk, interlaced fingers.) But don't take my word for it, listen to these testimonials: CUT TO A PEDESTRIAN PRECEINCT, CLOSE UP ON 20-SOMETHING BLONDE TAKING A SIP FROM A CAN OF DRINK. Blonde: (in revulsion) oh.... It's shit. CUT TO A BAR, SOME LADS ARE PLAYING POOL IN THE BACKGROUND. A MAN WITH A FLATCAP, WAISTCOAT AND HUNTING SHOTGUN BROKEN OVER HIS LAP TAKES A SIP OF THE DRINK. Flatcap: (Disappointed, gesturing in mild disgust to off camera barman) I say, barkeep! This is shit! CUT TO AN ELDERLY MAN IN A COMFY CHAIR, FACE AND TORSO HIDDEN BY A NEWSPAPER. A CAN OF THE DRINK IS ON A SIDE TABLE TO HIS LEFT. HIS LEFT HAND APPEARS FROM BEHIND THE PAPER AND SLOWLY TAKES THE CAN BEHIND THE NEWSPAPER. A FEW SECONDS PASS. Elderly man: (In a weak, feeble voice) Elsie...Elsie... This is shit!

I feel for me that the biggest issue is that I have become institutionalised here -I'm used to the same way of doing things, the same routine etc. But that's a hugely negative aspect of this job for me: I'm bored where I am now, and I want a new challenge. I wonder however if I am biting off more than I can chew.

Yes. I've spent many a happy hour gazing lovingly at Uranus.

I think you might possibly mean soag? If my memory isn't playing up, he was also into cross-dressing and his GF had a baby.

I would keep it to yourself until after they make an offer -or require a reference. But that's just me. In other me news: I resigned today after 7 years at my school to move on to a MUCH bigger school (think 10x the number of students) with AMAZING benefits and a FANTASTIC salary. So why am I not happier?

Shocked really, doesn't seem like any age at all. I think he was a massively underappreciated British actor, who was always great in everything he was in - whatever the overall quality of the rest of the movie.

WHERE CAN I BUY THIS? I WANT TO BE BURIED IN THIS.

I have caught a few episodes of this on our satellite hookup (Totally illegal)and I've enjoyed what I've seen. Is it wrong that I have the hots for Susan Strong?

FLinkenstein, I know what you're going through. So sorry for your loss.

Schadenfreude for me, sorry. Man United fans were just intolerably smug throughout my childhood, and the late-to-the-party glory hounds were so wearing. "Man U!" As the answer to the question "who do you support?" Was the stock answer for anyone who didn't know anything about football, or wanted to seem cool. It's nice to be reminded that the great Red Devils are actually mortal. Sorry for the real supporters, but then again, no-one has a right to success, it must be earned.

That reminds me of something Edouard Said wrote in an essay about "Inscrutable Orientals". He believed it was prejudicial to dismiss athe act of a person from this culture as being explicable only to those from the same culture. His point was we needed to understand and investigate rather than objectify. Which is interesting, because every time you get into an argument here, they always play the "You don't understand China! You can only understand China if you are Chinese!" card. No sir, I understand well enough: you're being a dick because you're losing the argument. I had a great one once: We were buying the fixtures and fittings for the house and were having lunch with a friend of Mrs Iun. I said to him I wanted English-style coach lamps for the balcony and the friend said "No, it's impossible, you will never find those here!" I took out the brochure I had picked up from the home deco place and showed him the exact style and told him that it was possible. His reply was "That's not what you meant, what you said and what you showed me are two different things. Obviously you have problems adjusting to Chinese culture." Whut?

I'll admit that I have no idea if "Oriental" is considered a racist term here. What i do know is that Oriental is a word that was used to refer to anyone from the Middle East to Japan. As such a blanket term, it could be considered offensive as it tries to homogenise all these different peoples. But then, that's me looking for reasons that people would be offended. It would be better to hear it from the horse's mouth.

Sorry to hear that, sending good vibes you and your grandad's way.