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The Bard

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Everything posted by The Bard

  1. We we so fucked up we didn't notice that the same Frasier episode played twice. I'm very surprised I didn't fall off the roof tbh. But yeah that was great fun, I'm only just recovering from the alcohol induced mutation my brain suffered that night, after spending the last two days watching Jackass and cackling in the fetal position.
  2. This is the first game I've wanted for my 360 for a long time. Unfortunately my disk drive is completely borked, and I really don't want to fork out the amount it costs to get a new Xbox (the pricing of which is utterly horrendous almost 7 years in).
  3. I definitely know what it's like to be hung up over a single person for a long period of time, even when you know it's bad for you. Shit, I still haven't gotten to the point where my last relationship doesn't colour the way I see romantic prospects. Fuck that guy though. He's just fucking with you for personal validation; he's not in a place where he can make a relationship work, so you should be fucking stoked that you're not in that position.
  4. Was the awkward part when Scott tore ass and pretty much cleared out a space 20 metres in diameter? The only thing that could have made that night more fun is Karaoke
  5. Oh shit. Well, I guess that makes the time we dragged you to Nando's and drunkenly devoured an entire chicken in front of your face a little awkward.
  6. Yeah, the problem is, it wasn't really you guys, I mostly skimmed your comments, but fuck me if the guys on GAF aren't just the most implacable bunch of philistines ever, and I wanted to rant about some of the more extreme opinions about the game. My only real concern with the game came after completing it, and realising that I couldn't go back and play older levels with the abilities I had unlocked by the end of the game. I know that doing so would undermine the balance of the levels, and the careful tuning of gameplay based on what the developers expected you to be able to do at that point, but still, I would have loved a bloody rampage through the game as a reward for my more considered and reserved play through. Can't wait for the DLC.
  7. No shit. Seriously, my problem with all of those comments is the fact that nobody has really substantiated what they dislike about the visual design. They say "Oh, I don't like the way it looks," and by way of validating this, they spout some crap about resolution, which is beside the point. There's a difference between disliking something, and describing what you dislike. In terms of function, the visual design is fantastic, apart from any subjective persuasions you may have. The game actually benefits from the slightly blocky, Valve-esque design because it allows there to be a simplicity in terms of the visual language. You're never confused about where you can go, what you can climb, things you can interact with. At the same time, because of this, it signposts enemy locations and structures super well, denotes all their entry points (rat grates, or the fact that wherever there's a shoal of those predatory fish, you can be sure to find an underwater entrance or path). Nobody has actually said this, but I'm putting myself into the position of the people who don't like the "cartoony" design, and perhaps what they're getting stuck on is the disparity between the visual design and the thematic aspects. I don't get this either though. Well apart from providing a real functional cohesion in the game, the exaggerated nature of the visuals doesn't seem at all problematic considering how overblown and fantastical the story itself is. The game is wicked good. Play that shit.
  8. Start work at Citi in five days. My alcoholic, incredibly insomniac ass is not up to corporate banking in the slightest.
  9. I don't get who plays character action games for the plot, or for any aspect of the experience that doesn't involve direct interaction. In every game of the the genre I straight up skip every cut scene as soon as it appears on the screen, because I know that shit is going to be second only to ECT in terms of destroying my grey matter. Unfortunately the problem with Bayonetta was that it's visual design was fucking disgusting and distractingly salacious too, in a way that not even Team Ninja could manage. You can tell, the way these games are going, some day soon a studio is just going to stop pussyfooting around and just go ahead and make a game where you kill enemies using your gigantic vagina flaps.
  10. I completely fell in love with the art design of this game. People who say this game is "ugly as sin" or such like are baffling. It has such a strong aesthetic and amazing visual cohesion. The Boyle Ball level genuinely had my mouth agape with its gaudy lights and confetti. I can understand that people are complaining about the texture resolution, but if that's going to be your sole criteria of a games visual merit, then I think that's really fucking pathetic. The resolution suits it fine; in fact, it gives it a sort of painterly aesthetic. Just finished it this morning, and I'm very much considering it for game of the year.
  11. Happy birthday Modwin!
  12. Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature... More than anything, I'd call myself an antitheist. Only a bigoted, humourless and malicious god would inflict the sort of privation and misery humanity has seen..
  13. Michael McIntyre is awful and so are you.
  14. That image somehow just doesn't align with my time spent in the Drunken thread.
  15. Tekken is one game that I will pretty much destroy anyone at. That said, tell me how they've changed the movesets launch moves? I couldn't get into six because it made some imbecilic decisions about some of the best character's move sets.
  16. Recently, all their PC ports have been pretty much up to par. To be honest the only ones I've really played are DMC4 and Resi 5, but both were far superior experiences on PC. At this point in the hardware cycle, I want any game I buy to look as good as it possibly can.
  17. It should have arrived by now, seeing as I ordered it more than a week ago, but alas, I don't have internet yet =(. If you guys are still playing a week from now or so, I'll defs love to log into some multiplayer killing and looting.
  18. I wonder when this is going to be out on PC. I'd much prefer to play it at a massive resolution at 60+ fps, rather than the inevitably borked console version.
  19. Yeah, agree with the sideburns/ short back and sides, but I'd look like a serious prick with my hair pouffed up in the manner of either of those two pictures. I'll probs do the deed this weekend. Will be back with pics.
  20. Can anyone lend me a queer eye? Straight up stumped as to what to do with the unsightly mop:
  21. Haha, Gaben shield. Why has Gabe not made some sort of appearance in every Valve game in the same way that Doak did for all of Rare's?
  22. I straight up want to roll around in a zoot suit:
  23. Sure, the Zelda games are different in terms of the minutia of dungeon layout and the trappings of the hub world, but they've been almost identical since LTTP in terms of the wider structure (Reach new location, explore dungeon, find new item and apply to dungeon specific tasks before a final test in terms of the boss). It needs a new wrinkle because it feels like I've been playing the same game for 10 years.
  24. I'm not sure how weird this qualifies as, but I have an obsession with memorising car license plates and then reciting them backwards to myself. You can imagine how stressful walking down a busy London street gets.
  25. Medicine is probably the most "busy" course you can do at university in terms of the sheer content you have to go through. There's a lot more memorisation that you have to do. I had a lot of friends at uni who rarely came out because they were on a medicine degree and had early morning lab assignments every day of the week followed by clinical rotation in a hospital. So don't worry, it might just be that
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