Magnus

It's probably too much to ask, but I'm hoping they'll drop the morality system this time around. I'm finally getting around to playing the Mass Effect 3 DLC, and I feel forced to make Shepard into a jerk just to keep my paragon score intact. I went to Omega with Aria "Mac Walters's sex fantasy" T'Loak, and early on she says that when we're fighting bad guys, Shepard's in charge. And I can choose to say something like, "pfft, like you'd ever be able to take orders" or "good, let's play to our strengths." So I decide to play nice, but nope, that's +2 to renegade points and I end up restarting the mission and watching a very lengthy cutscene again just so I can pick the other choice. Which is how I played the entire trilogy, really.

"I run the world's largest Pokémon website."

Okay, here's one: "I'm gay."

Maybe the reason he knows that therapy isn't for him is that he used to go to therapy, then after seven years his therapist stood up, said, "never mind, you're a sociopath, please leave" and pointed at the door.

Neither is Moogle, to be fair. If you're so worried about getting murdered, maybe you could arrange a meet and then show up in disguise. And be like, "man, that Serebii sure is terrible, huh?" and then you'll know that any girl who says nice things about you doesn't just like you for your money. Or maybe rent a pope mobile and drive past every now and then and wave at your loyal community.

I for one would be flattered to end up in somebody's wank bank.

Thank God you cleared that up.

I don't think he was trying to pick you up, Moogle.

Okay, I'm done. I can't possibly respond to that.

Too bad it's not crease-resistant.

Hey, ice cream Pokémon don't design themselves.

If you think stealing is hard, just imagine how hard the people you're stealing from must have worked.

Ah, yes. The old "but everyone else was doing it!" defense. :p

Imagine what you could do if you put this much time and effort into something original, instead of ripping off Pokémon time and time again.

If there are 30+ games likes this, I'm not sure why we need another. But hey, I guess this one has bigger artwork or whatever. And the maps are "pretty good actually", so I guess that's nice.

If at first you don't succeed, I guess.

Man, the season finale of Gravity Falls was amazing. Everything I could have wanted and more.

The original game is hardly unplayable.

I had a classmate who called me whenever he was stuck for more than five minutes, so I used to have the entire game memorized.

Very efficiently?

I've finished 32 games so far this year.

When you turn off the system, you can choose if you want it to turn off once your downloads are finished.

Everyone knows it doesn't count as cheating if you don't download it. Not only do I download my porn, but I actually pay for it fairly regularly. It's like paying for sex, except I don't have to leave my room.

Fair enough if you don't like it, but I'm not sure how you could find the gameplay very very dated. Or are you playing the original Tomb Raider from 1996?

That's okay, they'd just use me to make themselves feel better about themselves, anyway.