Magnus

I've played through every Zelda game at least once. The gamer girls would be so impressed.

For some reason, now I'm imagining your plan being to go through Fifty Shades of Grey with a marker and changing all of the names. "He held Anastasia Mark down and looked deeply into her his eyes. He kissed her him on the lips and worked his way down to her his ample bosom. He could feel the scent of Anastasia's Mark's vagina and it drove him mad." And then having your plans ruined when the sex wasn't up to par. :p

That's a horrible thing to say.

Let's face it, kinky gay erotica is the best kind of erotica. I can't very well write a book about you if I don't know your name, now can I! "Mark gasped. A strap-on? But... wasn't that a bit redundant when they both had penises? He didn't dare broach the subject as he silently watched Mike struggle to fit the strap-on over his erect penis." This thing practically writes itself!

Ugh, who'd want to have sex with a gamer? Erm, except you guys. You're all hot.

Don't tempt me! It'd be a story about a boy named Mark who discovers the world of kink with his friend Mike. It'd be called Fifty Shades of Gay.

Hey, there's a vagina. I'd think that would be filthy enough for you. :p And I think the lack of filth is somewhat understandable when you consider that the author was probably just writing porn for herself. You'd need someone like Rokhed to write erotica to get the hardcore experience you're after, I think. "And then she put on her lace panties over her strap-on..."

Tell them ReZ is dead.

Oh, Ville. You're so vanilla. Aneres will not approve. :p

Unless you have a fish fetish! Then it's the greatest website ever.

Never write erotica, Ville. There's probably softcore porn out there where they never get to the actual sex, if that's what you prefer. Seems like that'd be a thing, anyway. For women.

Well, your arguments were pretty flimsy, so yeah. :p Do it, Serebii! You can be OKCupid buddies with Cube. And I think Dazz uses it too! Plenty of wingmen for you.

Well, I can see why you were disappointed! I've seen raunchier stuff than that on HBO. It should have started with, like, light bondage or something and gotten kinkier and kinkier from there. Chapter two, he gags her. Chapter three, maybe some breath play. In chapter four, he asks her if she's ever heard of golden showers? And so on. Clearly she's never taken a creative writing class or she'd know that you need to build up to the really kinky stuff.

Man, Aneres is all, "NOT KINKY ENOUGH." Maybe you should write your own erotica, but it sounds like it'd be so risque that no one would want to publish it. "He thrusts, she moans. He thrusts, she moans. Thrust, moan, thrust, moan, thrust thrust thrust mooooaaaaan." That's how I imagine books like this, but I assume there's more to it.

Reading porn seems like such a girly thing to do. I prefer my porn in video form. It probably has better stories than Fifty Shades of Grey, anyway. Not that I've read it. Maybe it's a modern literary classic!

I think the forum started to go downhill after I joined. Sorry, guys.

But then Serebii must have had sex, too. That's even more shocking!

How can you say that when Cube's pregnant? That means he may have had sex at some point! That's pretty shocking news.

To boot or not to boot.

You really need to give it more than four episodes. It takes a while for the plot to really get going.

Supergrunch showed me this video a while ago:

Maybe you're going deaf.

I just like how a decade ago, he turned three books into three movies, but now he needs three movies to tell the story of one book. How times have changed.