Bevereview
The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword was a joy to play and has indeed been a rather special trip, especially with it being the series' 25th Anniversary! But don't get too high on your horses (or loftwing's) as there are flaws which make this game fit into the 'bloody-good-but-could've-been-better' catergory.'
This game has an adorable story setting and it presents the story in a heart-warming way (maybe a little clumbsily exagerrated at times, but hey, that is Zelda!), but I just can't help to feel that it can be demonstrated rather cheaply at times. For example, at the end when Ghirahim (who I'm totally in love with, by the way) was doing the ritual on Zelda - couldn't they've made it weird 'n' zainey (like it was and which I love) but in a more exciting way? I mean, the way he kept teleporting seemed like he knew a camera trick was being done on him to make him disappear and re-appear, it looked so editted. Character animations in general seemed quite sloppy at times - which dissatisfies even more during the more serious scenes.
Speaking of the devil, who loves Ghirahim? He is SO badass! From his effortless swag, to his cheekily evil giggles, even his feminine side is charming!! Seeing how he serves his master equally to how Fi serves hers - maybe with a lot more noticeable passion - was a little intimidating to say the least. Who do y'all reckon would get serviced out of Ghirahim and Fi? Ghirahim took down quite a few formidable opposers, but I reckon Fi would take it because she's a calculating type and Ghirahim loses his cool far too quickly. Fi also seems quite formidable herslef!
The humor within this game strongly appeals to me, I must say. Countless amounts of times I found myself chuckling out bursts of laughter. One thing that irritated me though was when I took on Fledge as a pupil only for him to surpass me - The Legendary Hero - within a matter of weeks. Being optimistic though, you could say that is how great of a teacher the said SShero is! It's just this Link felt somewhat out of shape. Fledge was like a machine and lifting up those barrels with one freaking arm?!.. You see how Links struggles with both of his arms, even while putting his spine into it! Don't evem bother say it's because Fledge was on the green stuff because wii all had our fair share of the fix. What made me chill though was when Link threw that huge Fruit of Life into the Thunder Dragons gob, I was thinking he outdone Fledge's pumpkin toss!!
But in all seriousness, I appreciate the RPG-like formula, but the Hero is really so out of shape it's embarrassing. His stamina is middle-aged. Come on, after a legendary scene, Links would spin around all awesome like he means business, like "I'm heading to so-and-so destination and I shan't even spare a second!" (e.g. like in the Isle of Songs). It would have a powerful affect on me and actually psyche me up, I turn around and dart up the isle all cool, only for him to lose breath and gain a stitch around 2/3 of the way. C'mon it's not a long run! So this hero is drug-reliant to lengthen his stamina. Legendary!
More on the RPG-like feature, it actually is a good thing for us gamers that this kid is an unhealthy bastard because it gives rupees even more value this time around. Usually there's no need for having a rupee bag and very little need in there being rupees at all to be honest. Everything thing you desire can be found in grass. Go on, you name it. Hearts? Yep. Arrows? Of course. Bombs? Without a doubt. Rupees?... Now you're just being silly!
Even though it's the same this time around, you actually feel the urge to try your luck at Fun Fun Island, or to lose some steam by slicing the stem thingmabobs at that cool dudes island (something about him is SO awesome - you know the item-check chicks pups? Yeah, him!) and even gambling at Thrill Digger (that thing is a cheating cunt,... seriously) all so you can upgrade all of your items for the hell of it (though they are beneficial - the Flying Beatle was so sloooow) and even to make use of those new genius potions (yah, an unexhaustable badass demeanour. well, at least for three minutes.). Another ingredient which complimentingly fits itself into this recipe of brilliance of giving rupees purpose thus also keeping the RPG-formula necessary, is that in order for you to upgrade an item (I don't repair, it's fuckloads cheaper to get the potion which also gives health and saves the journey) or potion, you'd need bugs or those other ingredients so that's even more exploration and collecting there. Which also means your bug net will be very useful!!
Ok now I think I should go more in depth about gameplay. Gameplay is great yet terrible. Like motion+ is really very incredible and I see 'the potential' of the greatness which motion-controlled gaming can provide, .... but Skyward Sword just didn't land the arrow in my eye! Like I see Nintendo's idea with making each strike on an enemy a musical tone (if you notice what I mean?) in an attempt to perhaps make the action seem more fun but, I dunno, it can be quite a flaw even if it is a charm of Zelda/Nintendo. Maybe you guys don't get what I mean..? The tone that comes after you've hit an enemy encourages the player to waggle quickly to keep the combo going until you've pawned the enemy. Moreover, although it's motion+ it still feels like there are limited input commands, which aids the inaccurate motion sensing (because it's like there being a set boundary within the 1:1 motion tracking).
There has been quite a few stunning ideas that would've blown me away but the poor motion controls sadly took away from the overall experience of each stunning idea - ultimately taking away from the overall experience of the entire game in general.
Please forgive the lack of memorized boss names, but The Giant Octopus, the part when its snake-like tentacles are coming at you; magnificent idea but rather than hopping around skillfully to avoid them and slicing WHERE YOU WANT TO SLICE, you instead had to be planted in one spot while waggling your wrist (gesturing as if your doing a fail martial-arts nunchuck demonstration) to beat the tentacles successfully with losing any health. Really disappointing. Fighting say, Ghirahim, wasn't half bad as he seemed to be programmed to take advantage of the available motion input commands, so it felt more natural I suppose. Fighting him at the end was terrible stuff, for starters he was so in beserk-mode he exposed his own weakness (COME ON NINTENDO, CHALLENGE US!!! THE SECOND-TO-LAST FIGHT FFS!!!!) and you're generally just waggling him off the edge to then deliver the final blows three times. The hardest bit was trying to deliver the final blows with the inaccurately, poor motion+!!
... Seriously, to give myself a challenge I completed the game with as little waggling as possible. For instance, Demise, you could waggle the shyte out o' him but that'd be too simple so I played trying to overcome the inaccurate controls - meaning being at an fatiguing disadvantage to each boss! So I didn't regret or feel cheap in using the help of the people of Skyloft (potions etc) who I made an oath to save lol.
I think the motion gestures in this game (all Wii games to be honest Wii Music, *coughTheOverlyHypedDISASTERDAYOFCRISIScough* and a few others - Another Code R?) was utterly weak. Like playing the harp was like a mastubation tutorial, you're just basically wanking your wiimote back, back, forth & forth. Why not make the gesture more engaging like, for starters, holding the harp like you really would in real life maybe? Hold the nunchuck as the harp and the wiimote as your hand playing the strings. It would've been even more exciting if YOU yourself manually learned/played songs. So instead of EVERY darn song being the masturbation gesture, make there be rhythms for each songs, like OoT and WW!!
The difficulty of this game is extremely underwhelming it's unbelievable. Each puzzle was just so uninspiring and at times making me think "Why shall I even bother?..." I like to be brain-fucked. To be struggling for weeks (months, even) on a problem only to finally beat it and feel the glorious victory in my belly. But maybe those problems were so hard for me in previous Zelda's because I was an overly confident kid ("yeah, yeah, I don't need to read" *taps on the 'A' button to skip the useful hints* ), so maybe they weren't genius puzzles either. But SS is just ridiculously simple.
Ok, what else 'ave we got? Oh, the dungeons setting! In all honesty Zelda games are usually really kind of based around searching for clues to solve so-and-so mystery etc etc. But sweet Mary Skyward Sword takes it to the next level toward the skward direction which has no pissin' end. You'd be searching for this and searching for that (which are all in different fucking corners of the globe), to find a clue which'd enable you to undergo a spiritual test in turn to lead you to a damn song which is scattered in to three locations.... bloody hell! What got me is when that bitch dragon flooded the entire forest then to confess it was really basically for her enjoyment and then dries the water away right before my eyes after I went through all of that crap!! Oh, and when the windmill thingy somehow manages to coincidentally fall below the fucking clouds?!?!
So basically in an artificial/generic way, the dungeon settings were just done in a time-consuming manner to keep you having to visit each place 3-5 fucking times. I would prefer many new creative dungeons rather than revisiting the same dungeons over and over with some future dungeons being a bloody replica of dungeons you've already done! Unmotivating, BIG time.
But, being the humble gamer that I am, I actually took pleasure in it. It felt like the Zelda team were testing the players' patience and I enjoyed stubbornly taking up that challenge - no matter how grouchy I seem about it
Oh no, I'm not finished! Again, I'm in complete love with every aspect of humour within Zelda games, from the clowny image characteristics to the clowny personality characteristics of villagers, enemies, bosses etc etc. But some times I yearn for seriousness, I really do. It'd captivate me even more and by a significant amount. Do bosses have to look SO clumbsy for crying out loud?! I don't mind some sub-bosses and even some bosses with the clumbsy humour and look, but try make SOME more serious, eh!? Demise, the ultimate Demon King is as laughable as he looks - he looks like the rock dude from Fantastic Four *facepalm*. Characters like Ghirahim is perfect. Someone like Zant, I preferred how he was before he was unmasked and exposed that those weren't even his powers, then you saw the clownly pathetic weak personality of the pawn. Actually, during the boss fight he just lost respect from me as he seemed so... clowny. But to stick closely to the point I'm trying to make; a well-balanced mixture of humour and seriousness would work like magic.
Look at The Imprisoned. Another neat idea but oh lord it looked so clumbsy. Sealing it was awesome though! And the Groosenator was pure genius!
If I could jump a few steps back onto the terrible character animations, does anybody know why the hell Fi feels the urge to do ballet like she's on Dancing With The Stars and why she ski's on the water as if she's on Dancing on Ice any time there is a message for me from the goddess? It's so annoying.
Scenes like this and like when that hilarious Scrapper robot appears just seems like a cheap WiiWare game. Surely the quality of it all can raise a little!?
Back onto the simple difficulty. Although I wouldn't use hints even if I was stuck to tears, there's far too many unavoidable and avoidable hints within this easy game. For instance, any time you needed the help of Scrapper, it'd be fantastic if Fi didn't automatically communicate with him telepathically to call him for the task - thus solving the puzzle for you. Quite frankly, their relationship made me jealous. Why not allow us to call him 'when WE think we have to' and perhaps mapping him to either the left or right directional button, as if memory recalls both them buttons were vacant.
The game IS a good game but I'd like to see Nintendo tend to the following:
*Improved/more accurate motion sensing and to utilize it in outstanding intuitive and inventive ways for the ultimate gaming satisfaction. Don't get me wrong, the motion controls are suprisingly good, you have to angle your attack and follow a defensive rhythm of the enemy, but maybe it would be even more exciting if we could also defend ourselves with our shield/nunchuck with 1:1 motion tracking too, for an even more strategic duel! Using your wiimote to mimic the sword when stabbing it in the ground or machine was just magical!!
*Humor and Seriousness - Maintain the Zelda (and Nintendo) charm, but don't be afraid to add a huge dose of seriousness. Magnificent voice acting as opposed to weird orgasming moans would be totally brill! More badass characters (or less clumbsy looking bosses) to enhance the feeling of the 'serious' atmosphere which we sense. I understand why Demise/The Imprisoned looked like they did, but I'd prefer the SERIOUS version of those exact models, if y'all follow mii?
*A powered-up difficulty setting - That's right, increase that shit! Also make more genius-like puzzles. This is a 'strategy' game for puke sakes.
*Dungeon setting - Less generic. Prevention of putting the gamers on pointless and random wild groose chases as a cheap method to extending the length of the freaking game. CREATIVITY is needed! But I do applaud the 'actaul' dungeons to a reasonable extent as they were amazing.
*Visuals - Next Zelda needs to look jaw-dropping. I'd personally prefer a more serious looking Zelda, be that a cross between mangarish/realisticish. But I think which ever style they decide to experiment with, I hope it's more on the serious side. :awesome:
*Evolve - The game has evolved more times than Poket Monsters but briefly put, I'd like voice acting at least optional with of course even greater cut-scenes to keep you engaged and also to beautifully highlight the compelling story!
So I think that's an enormous load removed from my broad shoulders and with that I'd like to reward The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword a Bevereview score of 6/10. Don't be upset, I'm not easily pleased and I still rate it higher than average. Just that it has plenty of room for improvement (please note that the remaining 4 marks is of value that's unfathomable )
Will you guys play SS several times over & over (100% or speedrun) like you did/are OoT or WW or any of them other ones like the Minish Cap or whatever? Will I?.. Maybe not. I may do the last Ghirahim/Demise part a few times though lol. : peace: