Grazza

Daft hit the nail on the head for me: a friend is someone who thinks of you, who bothers with you in situations where they don't have to. I've only got a handful. I tend to have one workmate (at a time) and a few internet friends. Oh dear, I'm probably the biggest loner on here. It hasn't always been like that, but when you're the wrong side of 30 and not at school, college or university, it's very rare that you'll have much in common with anyone. I've never been diagnosed with anything, but I'd be amazed if I wasn't a little bit autistic. I've seen documentaries about Asperger's (which is itself apparently a mild form of autism), and I'm certainly not that extreme, but I tend to be a bit "Alan Partridge". As for the male/female thing, I usually have one girl I really get on with, although I must admit it's always someone I fancy (and I suspect the feeling's mutual, if only slightly), but the reality is, if they've got a boyfriend, he's not going to be happy with me taking her to the cinema or whatever!

Gladiator, Gladiator, Gladiator, Priest ...Until about level 40 or 50, when you will probably start needing Kazing, so you should change to... Gladiator, Gladiator, Sage, Priest ...But around level 70 you really need to start activating Knight Watch as much as possible, so should change to... Paladin, Gladiator, Sage, Priest But do be aware that the last 20 or 30 levels of each are hugely tedious and time-consuming. Speaking of which, I've beaten the latest one:

Hmm, you're right, Fierce Link. I was more thinking of voice acting and an excessive amount of cutscenes. But no, you're right. It's just that I'm happy with a few well-acted grunts and some real-time cutscenes.

You're both right, in the sense that Zelda should be about exploration and technical brilliance. The theatrical, presentation side I can take or leave.

Same for me, I prefer Dragon Quest now. Skyward Sword has a lot to live up to, just as a Wii game. Even forgetting the PS3 and 360 (which I don't have much experience with), I've played games on the PS2 that set a new benchmark that Zelda should match, namely Shadow of the Colossus and Dragon Quest VIII. The former has a seamless overworld with no loading times. You can explore for miles and then suddenly encounter a huge colossus. The latter, although an RPG, blew Twilight Princess away. Its overworld was rich and full of dramatic, hilly terrain. The towns, villages and the castles in them were highly interactive, positively shaming Hyrule Castle Town. Of course, Skyward Sword may match all this... We can only hope. And though I agree with darkjak that Zelda should be the best game around, I don't agree that it needs voice acting. It's an artistic choice, not a matter of technical competence or otherwise. I know a lot of reviewers demand it, but it's a trend, nothing more. Whatever Skyward Sword turns out like, I am not going to throw my toys out of the pram, I'm really not. I hardly even care if it's bad (which I'm sure it won't be), because I have a strong suspicion that in a few years, a Zelda on Project Café will get the series back on track. It's just a shame that this greatest-franchise-of-all seems to have been so off-target for a decade.

Thanks chaps, I'll get it.

I fancied buying a new copy of this today. They had it in PC World (without the expansion packs) for £4.99, which ran on XP and Vista, but not Windows 7. Would Compatibility Mode definitely make this work?

No, or anything for the legs. I can only assume Erdrick walked about barefoot with no trousers! Ooh, tough question. It's generally the nicest-looking (shield and helm anyway). The helmet is one of the few (the only?) that protects against Paralysis, which is a big bonus for me. The shield has a 15% block chance (assuming you've got the permanent 6% block chance from the Shield skill), which is only beaten by the rare 3-Orb (15.5%) version of the Grotto Boss drop or the Alchemiracle version of that (16%). As you can imagine, making three Devilry Drinkers is hard enough, and the Alchemiracle version is medium-hard too (I haven't got it), so Erdrick's Shield is still very useful for my Hero. As I say, he also wears the helm, so it matches well. The armour and gauntlets are nothing special at all. You're better off with Metal King. Basically, the top 3 armour sets in the game are Erdrick's, Metal King and the Victorious/Legendary range (ie. the 2% drops). I would say the highlight for me was getting the full Metal King gear, but Erdrick's Helmet and Shield never go out of fashion. As for whether you'll gather it, the only tough part is finding a Blight Knight in a high-quality ice Grotto. The main thing is to beat the last three Legacy Bosses at level 99. After that I'm going to think about completing the Alchemy and Wardrobe, although I have been lazy with connecting to DQVC lately, so I'm not sure if the latter will be possible.

Absolutely not! It's just that the prospect of playing a Zelda with mandatory motion controls, five years after the Wii launched (when we have quite honestly seen all it can do) is not all that thrilling. Now I don't say it will actually be a bad game, but it reminds me of Spirit Tracks on the DS, which I don't think many people were excited about either. Did anyone really want another Zelda using the Phantom Hourglass engine, with touch controls, and a train instead of a boat? I certainly didn't. But, it turned out to be a great game. Nintendo worked their game-design magic, and I'm sure they can do the same here. It'll help if we get a good trailer at E3... In the meantime, though, Ocarina of Time on the 3DS is the one that has me desperate to play it.

Super Street Fighter IV is also £19.99. Am I being tight by waiting until they're £14.99?

And so, Erdrick's outfit is finally complete:

Same here. It's not that I don't buy non-Nintendo consoles, it's just that this generation hasn't grabbed me, for a number of reasons (price, games, needing an HDTV). I've got a PS2 and Xbox, just not a PS3 or Xbox 360 (yet). I am very keen on the NGP though.

If most of it is higher-fidelity MIDI, that's fine by me. The orchestral music is the Zelda theme, isn't it? Unless I'm mistaken, that was never actually in Ocarina of Time, so it'll be interesting to see how they fit it in (perhaps to accompany a gameplay demo after the scenes with Epona galloping through the fields). I'm just getting more excited about this by the day. It seems Nintendo may have pulled off the perfect remake - keeping the graphics, music and controls faithful, but better. I was saying how great this'll be at work tonight and got accused of being a nostalgist.

Why is that mad? There could be an alien invasion. Hopefully there won't, but there could be.

Hmm, well I was looking forward to it, but it's not exactly a beauty. I would rather it stayed strictly 2D (ie. sprites) with simple, traditional gameplay (jump, throw etc). Still, it has potential...

Best Stewart Lee - Massively intelligent, deconstructs comedy itself. He's obviously made great studies of understatement, repetition etc. What's surprising is that the results are as hilarious as they are thought-provoking. Russell Brand - Another gargantuan intellect. To watch him on Big Brother's Big Mouth or his E4 chat show is to see an expert ringmaster in action. He's as brilliant interacting with the average joe as he is with celebrities. He also seems kind and thoughtful, and his analysis of the human spirit is rather inspiring. Add Ponderland to the list and I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at a stand-up performance. Worst Frankie Boyle - He just seems such a horrible man, and not even funny.

Quote of the month! And that new trailer is the best thing I've seen since "The Legend of Zelda 2004", no exaggeration. If that orchestral music isn't hidden on the cartridge, could Nintendo not augment it into the game via a download?

They're coming, it's just that it'll be down to television manufacturers and the companies that make the discs (or otherwise) that'll hold the massive amounts of data required.

More like Spirit Tracks, I'd say. A lot of people had a strong dislike towards Wind Waker, yet the feeling towards Skyward Sword is apathy. It's incredibly hard to get people excited about something so late in the day, for both the Wii and DS... of course, that doesn't stop them making a great game.

It couldn't. It's just not possible on the Wii. (Ends Zelda talk.) But no, I'm not concerned. Last year's E3 was absolutely amazing; it's hard to go wrong when you have a new piece of hardware to reveal. OK, they showed loads of 3DS games that still won't be released even by this year's E3, but I'd rather have it that way than a boring show. I'll only be disappointed if they don't show Café games and don't show a few new 3DS games (good ones too). They can pretend the Wii and DS don't exist for all I care.

Now that is awesome!!! I've suddenly got the urge to run about in either Erdrick's or the Metal King armour!

I wonder how big that case is? Is it just packaging for the game or is it a 3DS case?

That's very thought-provoking. Who knows if there are superior beings? If there are, would they be something we'd want to become? Hmm... This is not to say I look down at dolphins or other animals as inferior. After all, I've never seen them be cruel or start wars.

I'm happy with myself physically, and wouldn't want to be anyone else. Yes, I have many imperfections, but they're mainly with my personality and mind, which I could change if I wanted to enough. But OK then, if I was reincarnated, I'd like to be 6'5" to 6'8" with big muscles, better skin and a bit better looking. Might as well ask for it all.

In all seriousness, I always understand mine. They're never abstract. Dreams are about what's on your subconscious mind; literally the things you haven't resolved consciously. I still have issues about being lost or stuck in places, and I think that goes back to when I got lost in France in 2004. And staying out too late is another one; I have issues with that, for reasons I won't bore you with. The thing is, these dreams aren't even nightmares. I'd rather have nice dreams, but I know they're just my mind trying to resolve things. On Friday 20th May, I forgot to tell you my dream from Thursday night. I was in town again, but this time during the day, as it became evening. Pedestrians were stopping me and sending me on errands. As I tried to complete one, I'd get given more, and thus had to "stack" them. I'm no psychologist, but it's obvious to me this was a hangover from work, as I was behaving in exactly the same way, and suffering the same type of "stress". At one point, I heard a voice trying to get me to enter a dark doorway. Peering in, I noticed this "shop" was not a shop at all, but just a doorway with an unlit room behind it. I opened the door and the voices asked me to come down the stairs. Sensing a trap, I tried to find some of my tougher workmates, but couldn't, so I just ran around town trying to do so until evening broke. The funny thing is, I'm sure this was still in my head from an episode of Doctor Who last year!