Josh64

DAY 365! (of no alcohol!) A person close to Scatman John told me that he used to refer to a year of sobriety as a ‘Birthday of Growth’, so happy 1st Birthday to me lol. I just danced around the room like a loon to something by John I’d never heard before, I feel about 10 years old! The cravings aren’t really there now, I get the odd pang every now and then but I think my dumb lizard brain is finally calming down, and my actual self is aware enough that nothing is worth those hangovers or embarrassing texts, status updates or Snapchats… I’ve lost a few people over the last year, either naturally or because when I was no longer getting drunk all the time and making bad decisions, I realised how bad they were for me. A few others because it seems that we actually didn’t get on at all when I didn’t have my drunk persona. I guess I didn’t realise how much I let slide, or brushed under the rug, or agreed when I didn’t agree, to things while under the influence I also thankfully don’t get myself in stupid situations, like going to clubs, drunk and by myself. It may sound like my life has gotten a lot more boring, but I love it so much more, and feel a lot more like my actual self, the kind of person I was when I first got my dog Banjo and was hyped for the Wii. Despite not drinking, I’ve had some of the best days out ever, just doing more quality things with old and new friends, instead of getting pissed until 4am and pestering people. I’ve been to different arcades, and I’ve been to them LOADS, with different sets of people, playing DDR, setting the high score on Pac-Man and playing GameCube games. I’ve done things I know I wouldn’t have had the confidence to do before, like meeting with Gina for the Scatman biog, and opening up to people more than ever. It’s weird to be in a place where a future seems like something that will actually happen. Previously, for years, I was surviving day to day, and with the suicidal ideation, not exactly thinking too far ahead, but I now actually have the ability to look ahead and wonder what life could be like in the future. As such I have applied for a college course, and while I am not pinning too much hope on it, I’m going to do it for fun and see where it takes me. That’s one of the things I have thought about doing for literally years, but never had the confidence or belief to do it until now. This next part is kind of a joke but totally true too: I will give Pikmin 4 another chance LOL. I was SO mean to that game, like, I hated it with a passion, and was seething with rage over every change they made to the series from the OG games. You’d have thought Oatchi mauled a family member or something. I never even completed the story, let alone 100% it and get medals etc like I did in literally every other Pikmin game. But when I remember that game now, I immediately have the taste of non-alcoholic beer in my mouth, and a feel of agitation. I played it at the HEIGHT of my panging for the drink, and I think that somehow made the cutest game ever my biggest enemy lol. misattributed hate, or something like that, I’m not sure the exact phrasing. There are some parts of my personality that are very slowly starting to make a bit more sense. I still feel like there’s a bit of the puzzle missing, but I occasionally remember things I’d completely forgotten about, things from my childhood and teenage years, that make me think, “fuck, that was a bit weird, and somewhat explains this/that about why I act certain ways”. I still don’t totally have it together, as @S.C.G and @Ashley will no doubt attest to, but you two, as well as a few others in my day to day life, and this site, have been SO helpful. I have always been terrified of letting anyone get too close, but then, and this is a realisation I’ve only really had in the last year, I do get lonely but try to mask it with other things. But this place is always here, when I’m my own worst enemy and won’t talk to, or refuse to talk to anyone For now I shall keep on taking my time! A day at a time!

Nintendo switch version 18.0.0 out now https://www.n-europe.com/news/nintendo-switch-version-18.0.0-out-now/

That is weird, considering Good Feel are usually pretty good in this regard, though I have only played Epic Yarn and Woolly World, so I didn't play their other Switch Yoshi game. Anyway, happy Peach day everyone! https://www.n-europe.com/news/princess-peach-showtime-available-now/

Mysterious!

The Luigi's Mansion 2 bundle was better, but I don't care about that game, just the goodies lol. I'll definitely get this, as Paper Mario 2 is one of my favourite games of all time, and that battle stage looks really neat. https://www.n-europe.com/news/paper-mario-the-thousand-year-door-bonus-items/ I thought you'd get to choose one of the key rings, but no, each purchase comes with all 3! The buildable stage however costs a bit extra at £57.99.

I can't think of a worse place for it to happen! And yeah they can often come from nowhere, which can be hard to make sense of. Hopefully you were able to enjoy Las Vegas afterwards! I haven't had diazepam for it, it's not something they've suggested to me before, but considering it's addictive as you say, I won't even try it if I get the chance lol. I know myself enough now to realise I have a tendency to get hooked on things (which may indeed be an issue if/when I ever plan to come off my anti-depressants but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it)

Thanks, dance fiend! I have discord too and still begrudgingly use it, but also find it confusing lol. Bring back MSN I say!

Forgive my tardiness: https://www.n-europe.com/news/play-vampire-survivors-for-free-with-nintendo-switch-online/

So this spiralled unbelievably out of control. I called the doctors the other day, explained that I have tunnel vision and worsening anxiety, and that I believe it's a mental health issue but don't know for certain so would like to discuss it with a doctor either over the phone or in person. They said there are no appointments left for today, which I said is totally understandable, and it's not something I need right away as I have dealt with it for a long time, if they could just book me in for a few weeks time, or even a few months time, that's fine, but they said that's not possible, and the only way to get an appointment was to call every day at 8am and try to get one on the day. A few days now I have tried that but with no luck, so today I decided to try 111, I thought it's a non-emergency and they might be able to just give me advice over the phone. I explained my symptoms, just saying that my tunnel vision is getting much worse whenever I leave the house, then she started asking questions, a lot of which started to point towards mental health. I have had mental health issues and counselling before, and I'm used to being open with my therapists after years of keeping things bottled up, so when asked if I'm suicidal I said "no", but then she asked if I ever had suicidal thoughts, and I said yes, I have suicidal ideation, to which she had a clear tonal shift and said she needs to get in touch with the mental health crisis line and is about to put me on hold, so I stopped her and said "I have suicidal ideation, I have for years, it comes and goes, I know how to cope with it and would never actually do anything, it's intrusive thoughts kind of thing, can flare up when my anxiety is worse", anyway she goes on to put me on hold for 20 minutes, she comes back on the phone and says I need to go to A&E, am I able to get there, and do I think I will harm myself or anyone else on my way there, do I need transport there, and that I need to get there within 4 hours. I again try to explain my situation a bit better, but alas, I go to A&E. I go to A&E and wait for about 3 hours after signing in, and man, if I wasn't sure how to explain my anxiety symptoms, that was the perfect place to put me to make literally all of them flare up to 100% lol, it was super full, screaming adults, screaming kids (obviously no judgement there, just explaining the surroundings) and considering I get anxiety in general public places, somewhere as frantic as that is obviously going to make them worse, and I'm stood basically in the middle of the room as there's nowhere to sit and people leaning on the walls. I'm spiralling in my head a bit at this point, worried about whether they think I'm suicidal and they won't let me leave. I google various things (the number 1 thing not to do in panic mode lol) about what would happen if I left A&E before being seen if it's for a mental health issue (as my anxiety was FULL ON at this point and I just wanted to be alone), , to which I see things that say the police might come to the house and take you back, and other things about going to A&E, having a psychiatric assessment and being kept in some ward. I realise I'm spiralling and put my phone on airplane mode and just read the subtitles that are on the TV, which happens to be Dragons Den (that show is on a real decline, man). I get called into triage and am finally able to explain the whole situation a lot better. The triage person there said she thinks it's a mental health issue, as if it was a physical sight condition my optician would have picked up on it. It's not something A&E can deal with, but she also can see it's not any immediate danger and I'm clearly just having a worse time than usual, and that I should get in touch with my doctors and "demand to have an appointment booked in for a few weeks time". I then explained what had happened when trying to do that previously and she said that I must insist that I get an appointment and that they will eventually cave. Anyway, they said I'm fine to go home and to book the appointment when I can, so thankfully I only ended up spending 3/4 hours there. I'm home now and just relieved to be sat here on my laptop lol. I will follow their advice and get an appointment booked in, and in the meantime just try to relax for a bit and not inadvertently get myself fucking sectioned or something. It's getting myself into situations like this which is WHY I go so long not asking for help, I feel like I can't explain myself to people properly without me downplaying it and getting totally dismissed or not explaining it well and having it blown out of proportion. I'm just glad I got a taxi there and didn't tell anyone at the time, so I haven't had to cause any drama with friends or family over what ended up being nothing. But yeah, instead of getting help for my mental health from 111 today I basically got given a fucking anxiety endurance test lol.

That's terrible, cancer is an unbelievably cruel thing. I'm sure your wifes support of her friend, and in-turn your support for your wife, is the best kind of gift you can give.

Me too, I wasn't that sold on this port, but all that Luigi stuff is very tempting as I missed the diorama too!

Plastic tat as far as the eye can see! It's my dream, @Ashleys nightmare: https://www.n-europe.com/news/luigis-mansion-2-hd-bundles-announced/ I believe the diorama is the same one that used to be available on Club Nintendo when the 3DS game came out! The wobbly Luigi is brand new!

I was worried that might be the case, I guess it could be more like there's the potential for it to go as high as 60, but its not necessarily going to be a constant 60

https://www.n-europe.com/news/pennys-big-breakaway-receives-bugfix-and-60fps-patch/ Big update coming!

https://www.n-europe.com/news/lego-mario-kart-sets-launch-in-2025-three-new-mario-sets-arrive-this-august/ I love the castle set!

Thanks pecan. I'm sure when my head is clearer I'll be able to sort it out as I have before, I just get in my own head a bit sometimes!

My anxiety has ALWAYS been an issue, and I have a million bloody coping mechanisms, tablets and breathing techniques to keep on top of it, but after 15ish years I'm just absolutely exhausted with it. I looked on the NHS app and website about booking an appointment but there's nothing on there, so I will look at ringing the doctors on Monday for an appointment. I'm not sure what I will say, but I feel like I need to talk to them as things are definitely getting worse, for example: Whenever I leave the house I get tunnel vision. I know, or I have always assumed, that this is a side effect of my anxiety. This past week it has been absolutely absurd though, there was a day at work that I genuinely felt partially blind as I was bumping into things and not realising when people were stood right next to me. I could not make out faces beyond arms length, and everywhere, at best, looked like Skyward Sword in SD. I do have glasses, and I know my site can be fine, as when I'm at home I can see perfectly fine. I'm really struggling the last week or so to keep going to work, keep getting up in the morning, and to keep on top of things that I took on which I usually enjoy, such as painting/drawing and posting on the front page of N-E. In general I just feel like lying on the floor and giving up with everything lol. Work keep disrespecting my boundaries, and I'm not being heard at all. I hate talking about my anxiety or bringing it up, but I have on a few occasions, in writing and in availability meetings, to say "I need 3 days off a week, it helps knowing I have three days off a week and makes my anxiety more manageable" but consistently they put me in 5 days a week, and they have again for the following 3 weeks. I'm on a 16 hour contract lol, which is part of the reason I took the job, being that it's short hours which I can do extra when I can, so I think I'm well within my rights to refuse or query it, but again, it's just so fucking exhausting having to constantly do it, bring it up, ask for it, when I have gone through official channels to rectify the issue before it comes up. I feel like I'm hitting my head against a brick wall. And I feel like a failure, inadequate and like I'm letting people down when I have to consistently tell them I need the rota changing because they consistently refuse to listen to my requests. I know doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome is a sign of insanity, and so on the one hand I think I should just give my notice in and leave. But I know I'm too scared and too exhausted to find a new job and meet a new set of people. But work is work and I've always been a bit scatty with it, it's the fact that I'm struggling to stay on top of anxiety in my personal life again that is worrying me. I didn't mean to rant lol, but I don't feel like trauma dumping on friends, and I don't know how to express myself well at the best of times, and it has always been easier to explain how I feel on these forums lol.

Considering they had a teaser for this announcement, I'm a bit disappointed that this is also a teaser lol. A teaser of a teaser, really? Glad I didn't watch the whole LEGO Direct or whatever they call their streams.

I know everyone is probably aware of the demo by now, but thought it was worth mentioning that this months most anticipated title does indeed have a demo and I've posted about it on the front page: https://www.n-europe.com/news/contra-operation-galuga-demo-available-now/

Plumbers don't wear ties

I tend to stick to news on actual games, as I'm not that into the industry/business side of things these days, but this felt too big to pass up. I've tried my best to sum it up with quotes from both parties: https://www.n-europe.com/news/yuzu-emulator-discontinued/ EDIT: Though I imagine this story will be overshadowed by the huge new Switch release today.

https://www.n-europe.com/news/happy-anniversary/ 7 years!

Updated with trailer and info!

I didn't have that much information to go on but here we are @Glen-i @Dcubed https://www.n-europe.com/news/vampire-survivors-v1.9.102-out-now/

Amiibo tourney starts tomorrow! https://www.n-europe.com/news/super-smash-bros-ultimate-amiibo-tourney-starts-march-1st/