Kav

@Dr\. bob hahaha! Brilliant!

I stayed for the hilarity of it all, I couldn't wait to tell people, it's so hilariously bad!

@MilaGi read this: Girl A - Date 1. There will be no date 2. This ranks, by a country mile, as the most awfully tragic date I have ever had! I was supposed to meet this girl on Saturday, but she cancelled as she said she was too nervous and that she felt really anxious. We then rearranged for last night, "a quiet drink". I met this girl on tinder, she had good pictures and looked quite attractive. She doesn't live too far from me but I did have to catch the train to meet her. So we meet and she did not look like her pictures... now I don't mean to sound nasty here, I'm just trying to paint a picture for you all to try and get over how drastic the difference was. She looked like she was the giant cockroach from Men in Black that had eaten the girl in the pictures and then squeezed inside her skin to blend in to the human poplace. Not only had she put on some major weight since the pictures were taken, but she looked like her 6yr old niece had put her make-up on and she wore the most stupidly tall heels that she wobbled when she walked and a top so tight and low cut her giant tits were practically falling out... classy! Ok, so let's put this to the side and I'll give her a chance. We exchange pleasantries and I buy us both a drink, we decide to sit outside as the weather was still good. We get outside and as we're sitting down she recognises one of her friends sitting behind her, so she taps her on the shoulder and says hello... then has a good 10 minute conversation with her friend whilst facing her back directly toward me. So I'm sat here twiddling my thumbs thinking, I'll not say anything, I'll just see how this goes. After their lengthy conversation she invites her friend to join us, which I thought "ok, she was too nervous to meet on saturday, maybe having her friend here will relax her a bit.". After 5 minutes, another 3 of her friends turn up. This group, from the things they're all talking about, are not the brightest bunch bless them (one of them asked if Uganda is in France). The brilliance of it all was that they were so bloody pretentious too, which I detest. Anyhoo, she proceeds to get drunk, fast. The more they talk the more I think "wow, how obnoxious can a group of people be?"; rude, inpolite, nasty, stuck up and immature (I realise this is coming from me, haha). Then I hear a voice; "Kav?". I turn and see one of the managers at my workplace who I get up to say hello to. I have a brief chat with him, not even a minute, before rejoining the group. I'm now thinking, this is going to make a great story for a tragic first date... little did I know. They ask who it was and I tell them that he's one of the managers at my work and one of my bosses, as such. Then the girl I've come to meet decides it's time to have her first conversation with me, yes I've been talking to her friends in the time up until now. However, her choice of first date conversation bemuses me: "I love surgery. My tits are fake, but I want them bigger." (they were already as big as my head and falling out of her top) "I want my lips done so they're big." (ah, that's why the lip-stick has been put on so that it's actually outside the bounds of her lips) and to top it all off; "I want a designer vagina. I want surgery on it so it looks pretty, it's too ugly."... at this point the night has now turned hilarious and I'm wishing my friends could see what was going on. I can't believe I'm on a first date with a girl, and her friends, who has chosen her first point of call in conversation to be how she wants to have someone cut up and reconstruct her cunt (sorry for the use of language). Another chap turns up. A polite guy, a little older, very well spoken. He had just started seeing one of her friends and he could immediately tell both he and I were well out of place here. The poor dude! After another little while I go to the toilet, mainly for a break from this tragic date, then the guy who is seeing one of her friends comes in and says "thought I'd come in and check on you. Fucking hell it's mental out there, I can't believe them all. I feel sorry for you mate!" Yes! Haha, it's not just me, this guy has seen how fucked up this is and felt bad for me, haha. So we go to the bar and have a brief chat and a laugh about it. I get back and the next subject of conversation from this girl is to ask me to stay at hers and not go into work the next day. This girl who, bear in mind, was too nervous and anxious to meet me on Saturday now is asking me to stay at hers and tells me "you can fuck me anyway and anywhere you want", that she wants me to "handcuff her and cut her with razor-blades". If she was in anyway attractive I'd have been right on that. I love a bit of rough and I'm very much the dominant one when it comes to that... but alas, she's a fat mess with make-up smeared all over her face. Sorry love, but no. So I decline, politely I must add. To which she starts to complain about amongst her friends. She's making me out as though I'm being unfair to her that I'm not going back to plough her back doors in because she's horny. So I think of what I can say... Aha! I apologise for not being able to, I can't just stay and not turn in to work the next day, one of my managers has seen me out drinking, he's still in the bar. To my surprise, shock and horror she then goes up to the managers in my workplace and tells him that I'll not be in work tomorrow because I've got lucky... She comes back and tells me what she's done and starts groping me. I again decline and say sorry but I'd not be staying and I'd have to catch the train soon. That does it. She snaps. She then starts shouting at me, giving me grief and abuse for being a gent. For being fucking sane! I'm in a state of awe, never have I seen this and it's hilarious! So I say bye to her friends, politely, whilst she's giving me abuse still, to which they all say they hope they can see me again because I'm a sound guy... haha, that ain't happening. I then take leave and phone @Blade to give him the news... as I can still here her shouting how she's pissed off and can't believe I won't stay when it's on a plate. Hilariously bad date!

Torres! Sweet baby jesus, I've never seen anyone lose it so badly and just never look to be getting it back...

So when using the Gamepad only, with stylus control, how the hell do you whistle to call back idle pikmin?!

You can skip the end credits, you don't have to sit through them. After ages of not having out this in my WiiU I finally got round to finishing it last night. Other than the insanely long loading times I did enjoy it, although it's nowhere near as good as the first 3 SC games.

@drahkon Cowboy Bebop for sure!

Ah, why didn't I read the whole lot, haha! I was thinking of getting it this weekend funnily though. I'll wait now methinks.

Hmm, so the beta will be opened to everyone... I might be tempted to pick up a PS4 a little earlier than I was going to!

Urgh, this! This is what was completely wrong with ME3's release on WiiU. I'd have picked up the trilogy for certain!

That's if Splatoon has voice chat! If there's one game that really needs it, in-game - none of this only in lobbies bullshit, it's this!

I'll just pick 'em up cheap for the 360 and game on that. Mine may well be broke but my flatmate has still got his. Back on topic for the WiiU though, I would love to know what Retro are working on... I wish they hadn't done DKCR:TF we didn't need another 2D Platformer!

Yeah I know but I'd want to play 1&2 first.

Don't get me wrong, I do still think the Zelda Metroid and Mario's are better than more or less any other games out there. For me, the best games last gen were the Galaxy's, the Zelda's, Metroid Prime 3 (Trilogy), Xenoblade and then CoD MW/BO and Battlefield 2: Modern Combat. Followed by games like Batman Arkham Asylum/City, GTA V, Bioshock. I've not played The Last of Us mind, but I have played the Uncharteds and think they're so overrated. Still not playing the Mass Effect games for some reason either... I know, my damn 360 red-ringing, haha. I do need to play them at some point. Anyhoo, back to what I was trying to get at, as much as I love those Nintendo games, if they embraced online and released their other franchises like Waverace, F-Zero etc then I'd not have a problem with Nintendo. Online is the biggest thing for me though, voice-chat is simply a must for me.

I would love a Waverace mind, Blue Storm is my favourite racing game... ever!

Oh I wasn't referring to them as staple franchises, given that they haven't been around for so long as you've said... just that if they were and Nintendo embraced online, for me they would be system sellers. It's exactly why I'm going off Nintendo to an extent.

This is why I'll be buying a PS4, the highlighted parts especially! I cannot wait to play Destiny with you guys, I've been telling Blade how awesome it would be! MK8 would be an infinitely better game if there was voice chat in-game and a proper system where you could invite each other and jump into global/regional lobbies as a party! Nintendo for me are slowly becoming all the about Zelda, Metroid, Mario and any MonolithSoft RPGs like Xenoblade. I'd say Retro's games too but the DKCR games, whereas great, aren't system sellers for me. If Nintendo embraced online like their competitors then Smash Bros, MK, Waverave, F-Zero and others would become system sellers to me, but with their current online stance they're just not.

Haha, touché! It's a relatively easy one though, if you put the spin on it with gay meaning happy.

Trine 2 is awesome, methinks I'll be picking this up!

You should all give me lines to try and fit into conversation on the dates and I could report back on how I tackled them and how they were received. Haha

Ok, so from both POF and Tinder I've somehow managed to agree to meet quite a few girls... a bit too many in all honesty, but they all came at once. So now I've a queue to work through to see if any make the grade and if I do for them too of course. I'm thinking of posting the successes and failures of these dates. It could be a bit funny.

Alright "I love pole" calm your tits! ...but get reading it!

Only if you were fitter @Blade Anyhoo, have you caught up on the Shingeki manga yet mate?

You qualify as a bird, you've got tits after all

This is what I was watching when you called the other night.