Unhelpful advice

[MoogleViper]

This thread is spawned from a tech problem, and encountering the usual array if morons.

 

Basically, I have my right speaker on the left, and left speaker on the right, which is a bit annoying when playing games where sound is important. Not being able to find a way of reversing them, I took to the internet to search for my query. Lots of other people have asked the same question, and venturing into their threads I encountered the usual idiotic advice:

 

"Just move your speakers."

 

Really? You don't think he'd have thought of that? Clearly that's not an option, so stop being a fuckwit and answer him properly.

 

The worst one of all.

 

"Does anybody know how to...?"

 

"Why would you want to do that?"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

 

Well you not me, and I would, so either answer the question or fuck off.

 

/rant over

 

So, anybody else encountered this? Share you stories.

If anybody makes a "why would you make a thread like this?" gag or similar, I will find you, and I will rip your scrotum off with my teeth.

[Magnus]

Now I'm really curious as to why you can't just move your speakers.

 

 

I was trying to get Tomb Raider on the PC to work with a DualShock 3 controller and downloaded a program that was supposed to make it work just like an Xbox 360 controller (which the game supports). I kept getting error messages about missing files even though they were right there, so I checked the official website for help. Their advice: "system requirements are requirements for a reason." Yeah, um, okay. *Uninstalls program*

 

Edit: But the absolute worst is when you're googling around to find the solution to a problem and finally find someone who had the same problem, only for them to edit their post/make a second post saying, "never mind, I've solved it."

[MoogleViper]

Because my desk is small (it's just a table), and it's at the side of my wardrobe, so there's no room to move it, and very little room to organise. As a result there's no room for the subwoofer to go on the right, so it's on the left. And the main speaker (the right one) has to connect to the subwoofer for power, and as the cable isn't long, the speaker has to go on the left also.

 

Edit: But the absolute worst is when you're googling around to find the solution to a problem and finally find someone who had the same problem, only for them to edit their post/make a second post saying, "never mind, I've solved it."

 

Completely agree. I absolutely hate that. Especially when it's a really specific/uncommon problem, and this is the only person with the same problem that you've encountered through hours (read:minutes) of searching.

[Iun]

"Oh, you should just relax"

 

Give me something or do something to help me relax, because I have no idea how to relax. Maybe this should be in the "Things People Say" thread.

[The Peeps]

Edit: But the absolute worst is when you're googling around to find the solution to a problem and finally find someone who had the same problem, only for them to edit their post/make a second post saying, "never mind, I've solved it."

 

This is the worst thing in the history of all mankind. I hate it.

 

Although I can't actually remember the last time I had to ask for help because I've not been able to find an answer through google... I do remember the "early days" of using computers and your friends would trick you with "just hold alt and press F4" kind of stuff It's funny looking back but when you want help and you just get fake advice back, it can be really frustrating!

[mcj metroid]

"google is your friend"

and links to google

 

one of the more irritating ones I've come across, especially when the question isn't so obvious to look up.

[Charlie]

This is the worst thing in the history of all mankind. I hate it.

 

Although I can't actually remember the last time I had to ask for help because I've not been able to find an answer through google... I do remember the "early days" of using computers and your friends would trick you with "just hold alt and press F4" kind of stuff It's funny looking back but when you want help and you just get fake advice back, it can be really frustrating!

 

I remember on GamesDomain 'Castle Arena' where you could play games like Chess and Connect4 against others and get a ranking for it we used to tell people that there were cheats. If you press alt+F4 you got free points, or ctrl+left arrow key etc.

 

They quit the game, I got free points. :p

[Jon]

People who ask pointless questions on social media when they could have had the answer from google by the time they've written out their question.

 

"GUYZ, WHEN DO THE CLOCKS GO BK?

 

"WHEN IS "Generic Movie Title" OUT?

[Rummy]

I remember on GamesDomain 'Castle Arena' where you could play games like Chess and Connect4 against others and get a ranking for it we used to tell people that there were cheats. If you press alt+F4 you got free points, or ctrl+left arrow key etc.

 

They quit the game, I got free points. :p

 

Classic runescape dupe...dupe was to tell people to drop stuff then hit alt+f4 to dupe it. They got duped.

 

Personally I can't think of any obvious unhelpful advice, except when it's obvious and unhelpful advice. 'Hmm...it won't turn on' 'Did you check that it's plugged in/turned on at the mains' OMG NO FUCKING WAY I AM TOO STUPID TO DO THAT THANK GOD YOU'RE A TECHNOLOGICAL GENIUS.

 

Essentially similar stuff in teh same vein. Though I do understand sometimes people overlook the obvious, I find it very hard to overlook plugging in and turning on something that needs turning on.

[Eenuh]

Classic runescape dupe...dupe was to tell people to drop stuff then hit alt+f4 to dupe it. They got duped.

 

Personally I can't think of any obvious unhelpful advice, except when it's obvious and unhelpful advice. 'Hmm...it won't turn on' 'Did you check that it's plugged in/turned on at the mains' OMG NO FUCKING WAY I AM TOO STUPID TO DO THAT THANK GOD YOU'RE A TECHNOLOGICAL GENIUS.

 

Essentially similar stuff in teh same vein. Though I do understand sometimes people overlook the obvious, I find it very hard to overlook plugging in and turning on something that needs turning on.

 

You would be surprised how many people do forget the obvious though. I had quite a few customers contact me saying their new phone wouldn't turn on. I asked if they had put the battery in there/removed the plastic from the battery. Solved the issue more than once. =P

[EEVILMURRAY]

People who ask pointless questions on social media when they could have had the answer from google by the time they've written out their question.

 

"GUYZ, WHEN DO THE CLOCKS GO BK?

 

"WHEN IS "Generic Movie Title" OUT?

Because instead of Googling something and having to click on a site to find out the information you need you can just sit back and have the knowledge come to you.

[Agent Gibbs]

My surround sound on my TV has instances of sound being sent to the wrong speakers, but i suspect its the signal from the actual programme, it used to happen onevery single episode of True blood, the title sequence would only play sound through my right speakers, and when people were on one side the sound would come from the opposite side's speakers

 

I solved it though, i stopped watching True Blood

 

 

i personally hate it when you post a request for help and get

"oooo i have that issue i'd like to know!"

"oh me too"

"and me"

 

jesus just monitor the thread, i don't want to keep coming back expecting advice and only getting loads of +1 ers!

I had it last year when i got a virus, posted on an antivirus forum and got about ten people saying "me too"

[bob]

I hate that too.

[Cube]

"I've got this problem with my PC. I have done extensive research and have attempted solutions X, Y and Z but none of them work. Does anyone have any other ideas?"

 

"Have you tried [solution Y]"

"What about [solution Z]"

"I googled this and came up with this [link to solution X]".

 

"I have exactly the same problem, and none of those work either.

 

Edit: Fixed it".

[Shorty]