I Just Don't Get People

[Beast]

I'm trying to think of a name for this topic but I just can't so this is the closest to describing how I'm feeling about this topic right now. I just don't get people.

 

The reason why I say this is because of what happened the other night. A friend and I were talking and then he says "Oh, by the way, someone asked me if you were gay and I said I don't know". I didn't think much about it until yesterday because I thought "Why did he say he didn't know when he did?" so I asked him that question and he said it was because he truly didn't know. I told him I was straight before so he does know but he said that he knows what I told him but seems to think that I'm in denial so he says that he doesn't know and he says it's because of the way I act. Also, he more or less said that if I wanted people to think differently of me, I should change. I'm not exactly butch and manly but it doesn't mean I'm gay. I must admit, this kind of pissed me off a little bit.

 

Not because someone asked if I were gay. I was bullied a little bit for it in school because the majority of my mates were girls and because I sucked at sports but if anybody asked, I don't mind answering. What I do mind though is having people keep on asking and having to repeat yourself over and over again or you telling them you're straight and it falls on deaf ears and they make their own assumptions anyway. You can have a feminine man just like you can have a masculine woman but this doesn't mean they're gay or in denial, I just can't get why people can't comprehend this. I can be a stereotypical straight man if I really wanted to but I don't want to because it's not who I am and I believe it's these type of people who rely on stereotypes too heavily that judge like this.

 

I'm just fed up, really. Just of people asking others something and they answer and because it's not to their satisfaction, they make their own assumptions anyway. So I thought I'd make a thread about it to see if anybody has had similar experiences to me of having people label you something you're not.

[nekunando]

[Iun]

My parents thought I was gay, apparently. But I think they just liked saying that in front of people, it was yet another of their little ways of thoroughly humiliating me.

[The Bard]

Dude, there's only one response when someone asks if you're gay or "accuses" you of such. And that's to say, fuck yeah, I'm not only gay, but I'm the most flamingest buttfucking arse junkie you'll ever know, and I'll put my pulsating doom cock through every orifice in your quivering, homophobic body.

[Ville]

because the majority of my mates were girls

 

Is this still the case? Why?

 

You can have a feminine man

 

You label yourself as a "feminine" man? Why is that? What makes you identify more with women than men?

[Murr]

I get labelled as 'under the thumb' because I'm getting married.

 

The guys I play pro 5 football with are all single lads, that live at home, and spend their wages on booze. I'm friends with them, but only go out to watch football or play football with them, no other social interactions with them.

 

on the instances I do go out with them, I do have a fair share of beers, but then go home at a respectable hour - Example being Friday's England game, after the match I went home.

 

They then begin questioning, and bantering about me being under the thumb, it's not a school night, that my fiancee will be fine on her own at home etc etc.

 

While it's true I'm sure Heather would be fine on her own, and it's also true that it isn't a school night, I just don't have any want to stay out and drink more money away to feel like shit in the morning with people that think of me of under the thumb.

 

The last England game was a Tuesday, again I went out. I drove, so had 1 pint. When I went to the bar to get my 2nd drink, I ordered my diet coke, came back to the table and all I get is .. "What the fuck is that... ", " Early night tonight is it??" etc etc... Again.. what's the point, I don't see the need to get pissed on a tuesday night, being hung over on weekend's is terrible enough let alone a Wednesday morning.

 

It's as if because I'm not single, and have a job in which I need to be in some respectable state that I'm under the thumb when it comes to going out.

 

Truth is, when I'm out with my closest friends i'm normally the one that encourages the drinking, last example was when Heather and I rolled out of the casino in Bristol at 6:20am down £130 and then not re surfacing from bed till gone 9pm Sunday Evening.

[Beast]

Dude, there's only one response when someone asks if you're gay or "accuses" you of such. And that's to say, fuck yeah, I'm not only gay, but I'm the most flamingest buttfucking arse junkie you'll ever know, and I'll put my pulsating doom cock through every orifice in your quivering, homophobic body.

 

LOL!

 

I don't mind people asking me if I'm gay because they asked so I just say "No, I'm straight" and that should be the end of it and we can all get on with our lives. I hate it when people TELL me I am or when some people just tend to make their own minds up anyway after answering their question or they keep on asking me again and again and wasting my time. When the same people ask me again, I just tell them they already know and if you can't remember, then it's your own fault. It still annoys me a little though how people ask you and you answer them but they totally ignore you and say the complete opposite.

 

The funniest thing about this is the guy who said this to me is bisexual. So you would have thought he, out of everybody, wouldn't be so stereotypical and would understand more. I think he seems to be in some mindset that all gays are femnine and all lesbians are butch, it just seems like that to me and I find it a tad ignorant.

 

Is this still the case? Why?

 

I have no clue, mate. You'd think it'd make me the opposite but apparently not! :p

 

You label yourself as a "feminine" man? Why is that? What makes you identify more with women than men?

 

I don't label myself as feminine but I'm not masculine either. What I mean to say is that I'm not really butch or anything like that, I don't exactly act like a typical blokey bloke but I'm not camp either. I'm sort of a mixture of both, if you like. I'm not completely blind and I don't kid myself, I know I'm not a proper butch man but I can't see why people out there still say "If you don't act like this, this must mean you're gay". You'd have thought, living in the era we're in now, they can see that anybody can be anybody. One of my best mates is a girl and she's into girly things and is a lesbian. I'm saying all people come in shapes and sizes.

 

Also, I get along with absolutely anybody. Gender, sexuality, race, etc, isn't an issue for me at all but it's more girls I was mates with than boys. Of course, this was back in school. In recent times, I'm friends with lads who I met in college and I've known them for six years now. I still talk to the girls sometimes but we've kind of drifted apart from each other. Life happens.

[Agent Gibbs]

Dazz you and me both! sounds like a very similar situation to me!

 

In high school i had more female friends, due to the fact 99% of the guys in my form were overly sporty uppity cunts, who wouldn't speak to you if you didn't play one of the big three sports (Rugby, Football & Cricket), so i had two male friends who were more gamers like me, and about 5 female friends. This meant us three guys were accused of being gay as we hung out with girls, but this was high school in the 90% where being gay was akin to being a nazi! After high school i ended up with more guy friends, but my best mate is a girl.

 

As for being efeminate, or why i'm told that i am ; I don't really like sports, I'm a neat freak, i seem to know far more with regards to style/colour coding and fashion than my Girlfriend, i use long "old fashioned" words in every day speach, i like art history and science, stuff like that really.

 

To me it doesn't make me efeminate its down to how i've always been interested in learning as much about anything and everything as i can do, so its not that i know these "typically" womanly things alone, i know them and quite a lot of other stuff.

 

Personally its down to other men's own insecurities really, a few of my friends have told me they wish they could talk to women as easily as i do, which always shocks me because i don't feel i talk to women any differently, maybe thats it that i treat everyone equally, can't remember who said it but i think they put the pussy on a pedastal

 

Interesting topic this

 

oh and your mate is a complete douche and deserves a slap

[MoogleViper]

My parents thought I was gay, apparently. But I think they just liked saying that in front of people, it was yet another of their little ways of thoroughly humiliating me.

 

You're not gay? You mean it was all just a lie?!

[Iun]

You're not gay? You mean it was all just a lie?!

 

I'm gay for you, and you know it.

[arab_freak]

I'm just fed up, really. Just of people asking others something and they answer and because it's not to their satisfaction, they make their own assumptions anyway.

 

I think this has a lot to do with a people's desire to validate confirmatory bias. They have the impression that you're gay, and they want you to "admit it" so they can masturbate with rigorous self-satisfaction over that "hah, I knew it!" feeling. It doesn't matter if you're really gay or not. They just don't want to think that they're wrong about you; or that a man of your character can exist without being exclusively heterosexual. If they're the type who bring up the topic of your sexuality a lot, then there's a good chance they're homophobic.

 

Also, what's the deal with lots of girl friends = gay? Over here it just means you're a player.

[Ville]

The reason I ask is because I used to hang out with women much more as well. I seemed to have thought that if I was "nice" enough for them, maybe someone would want to date me etc. When I realised this, I got totally fed up with it, because I was basically just volunteering to take all their emotional garbage and act as a crutch. Makes no sense, and it's annoying as hell, so I just stopped doing it and started taking some distance from women in general. Now it's totally opposite: I actually see the value of hanging out and chatting with guys, because there's no tension or "game" constantly being played. We can just relax, have fun and discuss whatever things we want, from games and technology to politics, self-improvement and women ; D It's been interesting to notice that there really is much more common understanding between other men than women, of course because the situation is the same.

 

The issue of femininity / masculinity is an interesting one. Yes, I agree, do what you want regardless of any gender norms, but be sure to check how you view men in regards to women. Are they on equal footing, or is one more valuable than the other? Up and until now, I was actually holding women in much higher regard, because the feminist discourse so one-sidedly portrays them as the eternal victims of male abuse. In other words, I was feeling ashamed of being a man (!), hence the need to become more "feminine" and cater to the needs of the oh-so-poor, always oppressed and suppressed women. That is just sick, painting one gender as evil and holding the other one up on a pedestal.

 

Thus in regards to "femininity", I'd say that take a real deep look at what YOU want. It's easy to get brainwashed by any outer influences telling you need to be this or that, be it a macho man or a "caring", spineless wussy who submits solely to the needs of women. Takes a lot of time to deconstruct all that bullshit, but it's totally worth it. As of now, I see myself, men and women in a totally different light. No longer do I think that being a man is something disgusting or to be shamed of, but rather embrace it. I know that I care about people, but I also realise that doesn't mean I have to be super sensitive like some women, or live in a constant world of rainbows, "love" and care bears. It's ok to be masculine, just as it is ok to be feminine. So throw them feminist and macho influences to hell, and figure it out yourself what you want. For me, having been to the feminine deep end, I actually now find it much more pleasurable being "masculine".

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

The reason I ask is because I used to hang out with women much more as well. I seemed to have thought that if I was "nice" enough for them, maybe someone would want to date me etc. When I realised this, I got totally fed up with it, because I was basically just volunteering to take all their emotional garbage and act as a crutch. Makes no sense, and it's annoying as hell, so I just stopped doing it and started taking some distance from women in general. Now it's totally opposite: I actually see the value of hanging out and chatting with guys, because there's no tension or "game" constantly being played. We can just relax, have fun and discuss whatever things we want, from games and technology to politics, self-improvement and women ; D It's been interesting to notice that there really is much more common understanding between other men than women, of course because the situation is the same.

 

The issue of femininity / masculinity is an interesting one. Yes, I agree, do what you want regardless of any gender norms, but be sure to check how you view men in regards to women. Are they on equal footing, or is one more valuable than the other? Up and until now, I was actually holding women in much higher regard, because the feminist discourse so one-sidedly portrays them as the eternal victims of male abuse. In other words, I was feeling ashamed of being a man (!), hence the need to become more "feminine" and cater to the needs of the oh-so-poor, always oppressed and suppressed women. That is just sick, painting one gender as evil and holding the other one up on a pedestal.

 

Thus in regards to "femininity", I'd say that take a real deep look at what YOU want. It's easy to get brainwashed by any outer influences telling you need to be this or that, be it a macho man or a "caring", spineless wussy who submits solely to the needs of women. Takes a lot of time to deconstruct all that bullshit, but it's totally worth it. As of now, I see myself, men and women in a totally different light. No longer do I think that being a man is something disgusting or to be shamed of, but rather embrace it. I know that I care about people, but I also realise that doesn't mean I have to be super sensitive like some women, or live in a constant world of rainbows, "love" and care bears. It's ok to be masculine, just as it is ok to be feminine. So throw them feminist and macho influences to hell, and figure it out yourself what you want. For me, having been to the feminine deep end, I actually now find it much more pleasurable being "masculine".

 

I sympathise completely, but be careful not to fall in the trap at the other end and assume that this is always the case with men who are feminine and/or have female friends. I'd say my personality, like Dazz's, is a good mixture of masculine and feminine, probably leaning more towards the feminine, and for the last couple of years I've probably had more close female friends than male - however, none of this is due to me thinking more highly of women than of men or having romantic interest in my female friends. I've simply found these things more comfortable and more me.

 

(Nice avatar, by the way! )

 

Regarding your friend, Dazz, he sounds like a bit of a knob. With the other friend who hinted at a secret you'd shared with him, your "friends" honestly don't sound like very nice people. Strangely enough I've personally never been bullied or considered gay for of my not-exactly-masculine personality.

[Magnus]

Maybe your friend just hopes that you're gay, Dazz.

[Ville]

I sympathise completely, but be careful not to fall in the trap at the other end and assume that this is always the case with men who are feminine and/or have female friends. I'd say my personality, like Dazz's, is a good mixture of masculine and feminine, probably leaning more towards the feminine, and for the last couple of years I've probably had more close female friends than male - however, none of this is due to me thinking more highly of women than of men or having romantic interest in my female friends. I've simply found these things more comfortable and more me.

 

Yeah, of course, as long as that is what YOU want, and not a result of some one-sided gender ideology telling you that. This actually works both ways, like we've been discussing on facebook...women have the pressure to be more man-like as well, i.e. build up huge careers, whether they want it or not...So feminism is failing in this way as well, it totally needs a reality check...

 

I still have a lot of female friends too, although now I do find that men seem to have more to offer to me in terms of discussion and so forth. I don't know why, but with females, there always seems to be the tension there, i.e. I cannot help considering them as potential partners on some level. So maybe it's better I don't even try to pretend to be "friends" with women anymore, but just ask them out, if I'm interested xD

 

Regarding your friend, Dazz, he sounds like a bit of a knob. With the other friend who hinted at a secret you'd shared with him, your "friends" honestly don't sound like very nice people. Strangely enough I've personally never been bullied or considered gay for of my not-exactly-masculine personality.

 

Yep, that's the kind of vibe I've been picking up from your tweets as well, Dazz. Life's too short for shithead friends, so if they don't respect you, a swift kick to the arse and off they go.

[Rummy]

People are fucking idiots, always try to remember that.

[Jamba]

Dazz, I totally get how you feel and have been in very much the same position with someone telling me that they KNEW I was gay even though I wasn't. Strange that I'm getting married next year then

 

But honestly man, this guy is being a chump. Don't waste time with his "I know everything" attitude. I like you're thinking, you're you and you definitely know a hell of a lot more about that than he does. You should just treat him like a dumbass when he starts talking like that.

[Beast]

Dazz you and me both! sounds like a very similar situation to me!

 

In high school i had more female friends, due to the fact 99% of the guys in my form were overly sporty uppity cunts, who wouldn't speak to you if you didn't play one of the big three sports (Rugby, Football & Cricket), so i had two male friends who were more gamers like me, and about 5 female friends. This meant us three guys were accused of being gay as we hung out with girls, but this was high school in the 90% where being gay was akin to being a nazi! After high school i ended up with more guy friends, but my best mate is a girl.

 

As for being efeminate, or why i'm told that i am ; I don't really like sports, I'm a neat freak, i seem to know far more with regards to style/colour coding and fashion than my Girlfriend, i use long "old fashioned" words in every day speach, i like art history and science, stuff like that really.

 

To me it doesn't make me efeminate its down to how i've always been interested in learning as much about anything and everything as i can do, so its not that i know these "typically" womanly things alone, i know them and quite a lot of other stuff.

 

Personally its down to other men's own insecurities really, a few of my friends have told me they wish they could talk to women as easily as i do, which always shocks me because i don't feel i talk to women any differently, maybe thats it that i treat everyone equally, can't remember who said it but i think they put the pussy on a pedastal

 

Interesting topic this

 

oh and your mate is a complete douche and deserves a slap

 

I think this is the thing as well.

 

I've had people say to me how they think I can talk to women easily and wished they could do it too but I don't really think anything of it. I just think of them as a person and I'll talk to them. Although the thing I do have a problem with is asking them out on a date, haha. I'm a bit like "Ugh, what do I even say? How do I start this conversation?" but as soon as I start talking to them, it comes naturally.

 

Also, I think he deserves a slap a little as well. I mean, sometimes, we have a laugh and stuff and diss each other, like what normal mates do but he was serious about it and I don't really know why he did it. It's a mystery to me.

 

I think this has a lot to do with a people's desire to validate confirmatory bias. They have the impression that you're gay, and they want you to "admit it" so they can masturbate with rigorous self-satisfaction over that "hah, I knew it!" feeling. It doesn't matter if you're really gay or not. They just don't want to think that they're wrong about you; or that a man of your character can exist without being exclusively heterosexual. If they're the type who bring up the topic of your sexuality a lot, then there's a good chance they're homophobic.

 

Also, what's the deal with lots of girl friends = gay? Over here it just means you're a player.

 

The funniest thing is, the guy who said this to me is bisexual. I think he just has an issue with me because he's brought it up a few times now and he's even said that the next time we go out, he's going to ask strangers whether they think I'm gay or not and I said "Why would you even want to do that? I know I'm not exactly manly but that don't mean shit". I think people who ask me but then make their own minds up like I don't know my own mind just can't face that they're wrong. It's not really a big issue with me, people are curious and when they ask, I don't mind answering. It's when they know what I told them but they just think they have the right to say "Well, you are and you're in denial because this, that and the other" and it makes me angry when people say that I'm in denial. The thing is, I'm confident and comfortable with being straight and I don't feel the need to prove anything. It's just a shame that people feel the need to. If more people were like you guys and me, I'm sure the world would be a happier place.

 

The reason I ask is because I used to hang out with women much more as well. I seemed to have thought that if I was "nice" enough for them, maybe someone would want to date me etc. When I realised this, I got totally fed up with it, because I was basically just volunteering to take all their emotional garbage and act as a crutch. Makes no sense, and it's annoying as hell, so I just stopped doing it and started taking some distance from women in general. Now it's totally opposite: I actually see the value of hanging out and chatting with guys, because there's no tension or "game" constantly being played. We can just relax, have fun and discuss whatever things we want, from games and technology to politics, self-improvement and women ; D It's been interesting to notice that there really is much more common understanding between other men than women, of course because the situation is the same.

 

The issue of femininity / masculinity is an interesting one. Yes, I agree, do what you want regardless of any gender norms, but be sure to check how you view men in regards to women. Are they on equal footing, or is one more valuable than the other? Up and until now, I was actually holding women in much higher regard, because the feminist discourse so one-sidedly portrays them as the eternal victims of male abuse. In other words, I was feeling ashamed of being a man (!), hence the need to become more "feminine" and cater to the needs of the oh-so-poor, always oppressed and suppressed women. That is just sick, painting one gender as evil and holding the other one up on a pedestal.

 

Thus in regards to "femininity", I'd say that take a real deep look at what YOU want. It's easy to get brainwashed by any outer influences telling you need to be this or that, be it a macho man or a "caring", spineless wussy who submits solely to the needs of women. Takes a lot of time to deconstruct all that bullshit, but it's totally worth it. As of now, I see myself, men and women in a totally different light. No longer do I think that being a man is something disgusting or to be shamed of, but rather embrace it. I know that I care about people, but I also realise that doesn't mean I have to be super sensitive like some women, or live in a constant world of rainbows, "love" and care bears. It's ok to be masculine, just as it is ok to be feminine. So throw them feminist and macho influences to hell, and figure it out yourself what you want. For me, having been to the feminine deep end, I actually now find it much more pleasurable being "masculine".

 

I get what you're saying and I do sympathise with you but it falls both ways, really. I mean, I know what you're saying with blokes being different from women but, and I'm being completely honest here, a lot of the guys I know are actually more bitches and play "games" more than the girls I know do. I believe in being honest with people but I also believe in tact. My girl friends hardly fought with each other at all or said a bad word but, to be fair, I know this doesn't mean anything and that I was lucky to know pleasant girls.

 

However the blokes were more bitchy. They'd say one thing to you and another to someone else and stuff like that. My recent friends don't do this, we've had our problems but they get sorted pretty quickly.

 

I've had the journey you're talking about years ago. When I was in Year 9, I was fed up with being asked all of the time so I acted more 'boyish' and it did work but it was just such a palava having to think what they would say instead of what YOU would say and how they'd react to how YOU would so I stopped doing it and started being myself. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't sit there for ages listening to girl talk and listen to girls bang on about shoes, make-up and handbags, that shit bores me to tears, but if they had a problem or owt, I'd listen to them. The girls I knew were comfortable around me and I them and we mainly discussed the stuff that we did have in common. Thinking about it now, they were pretty awesome. And my best friend was cool because it's a bit of a funny experience talking to another girl about girls, haha (by the way, she was a lesbian, lmao).

 

But yeah, I took a look at what I wanted and who I was and I realised that I was me and that I would never change no matter how hard I'd try. I'm actually the coolest I've ever been with myself than I ever was. Before, I'd try to change the way I was and things but then I realised and asked myself what I was doing and was asking who I was doing it for and why. That was when I knew I could never change who I was and that I wouldn't for anybody. Sure, I get sick and tired of having to repeat myself and yes, sometimes it bothers me a little bit but the most important thing I've learned is that the people who matter don't mind or care who I am or what I like or how I act. It just doesn't matter. If they can't accept that I'm straight, I see it as their problem.

 

Also, your avatar kicks ASS!

 

I sympathise completely, but be careful not to fall in the trap at the other end and assume that this is always the case with men who are feminine and/or have female friends. I'd say my personality, like Dazz's, is a good mixture of masculine and feminine, probably leaning more towards the feminine, and for the last couple of years I've probably had more close female friends than male - however, none of this is due to me thinking more highly of women than of men or having romantic interest in my female friends. I've simply found these things more comfortable and more me.

 

(Nice avatar, by the way! )

 

Regarding your friend, Dazz, he sounds like a bit of a knob. With the other friend who hinted at a secret you'd shared with him, your "friends" honestly don't sound like very nice people. Strangely enough I've personally never been bullied or considered gay for of my not-exactly-masculine personality.

 

I've only had a couple of romantic interests with a couple of my female friends but that's it. The other ones I just think are cool people who I get along with and nothing more.

 

Also, the friend who did that is the same friend who's doing this. They're both the same person. He has his good points but then he starts to be like this and it's just a horrible side to him and it pisses me off having to repeat myself to people or having people say I'm something I'm not or saying they don't know when they do but they think otherwise.

 

Maybe your friend just hopes that you're gay, Dazz.

 

You joke about this but one of my mates has actually said the same thing and I'm starting to think it could be it. I mean, I'm sure as hell certain that if someone told me something, I wouldn't bring it up again because they've already told me.

 

Yeah, of course, as long as that is what YOU want, and not a result of some one-sided gender ideology telling you that. This actually works both ways, like we've been discussing on facebook...women have the pressure to be more man-like as well, i.e. build up huge careers, whether they want it or not...So feminism is failing in this way as well, it totally needs a reality check...

 

I still have a lot of female friends too, although now I do find that men seem to have more to offer to me in terms of discussion and so forth. I don't know why, but with females, there always seems to be the tension there, i.e. I cannot help considering them as potential partners on some level. So maybe it's better I don't even try to pretend to be "friends" with women anymore, but just ask them out, if I'm interested xD

 

Yep, that's the kind of vibe I've been picking up from your tweets as well, Dazz. Life's too short for shithead friends, so if they don't respect you, a swift kick to the arse and off they go.

 

To be fair, I did have thoughts with my girl friends too. I did often think what would happen if I got together with some of them but I knew I wouldn't do anything about it because they either have boyfriends, they're lesbians or we're just not attracted to one another.

 

I've actually been considering this. Sounds bad, I know, but we've known each other for six years, you'd think he'd know me by now. It's just getting to a point where it annoys me. I usually give people three strikes. He's had one already with the 'secret' thing and this is his second one because of some of the things he's said. One more and I think I'll take your advice on that arse-kicking, haha.

 

People are fucking idiots, always try to remember that.

 

Noted. I just wished people were more like this forum. Unfortunately, around where I live, they're not here. Kind of sad, really.

[Raining_again]

do you think your friend is jealous/interested in you?

[Beast]

Dazz, I totally get how you feel and have been in very much the same position with someone telling me that they KNEW I was gay even though I wasn't. Strange that I'm getting married next year then

 

But honestly man, this guy is being a chump. Don't waste time with his "I know everything" attitude. I like you're thinking, you're you and you definitely know a hell of a lot more about that than he does. You should just treat him like a dumbass when he starts talking like that.

 

HA! Congrats on the wedding again! I'm just happy that there's more people out there like me. I can never find them so it's made me happier knowing that this happens and that nobody changes themselves. Makes me feel like I'm doing the right thing.

 

HA! I think I'll just do that. He talks like a jackass, I'll treat him like a jackass!

 

It's very interesting hearing people's different thoughts on this. I hope to hear some more.

 

do you think your friend is jealous/interested in you?

 

Kind of. I think he's jealous more than interested. He has shown that kind of behaviour before. I think he may be jealous because I'm so myself to the extent that I don't feel like I need to prove who I am and he can't really be like that (if that makes sense). We were talking the other day about how people judge somebody by their likes, looks and behaviour and he said he hated people who did that so it made me laugh how he did it himself.

 

It's a possibility that he could be interested in me but I doubt it. My other friend, when the subject cropped up again a year ago, did make a joke and say "Careful, people would think that you'd WANT him to be gay" and we all laughed, including him but it would actually make a bit of sense. I've tried telling him that everybody's different and considering his sexuality, he should know better but I think it fell on deaf ears.

 

Shame, really, but if it does come to me not talking to him again, I'll do it because I don't really need people like that.

[Yvonne]

Sorry you have to deal with that Dazz! You seem like you have your shit together, it's a shame some of your friends don't.

[Grazza]

First of all, it goes without saying that gay men can be very macho, heterosexual men can be very soft and sensitive and vice versa.

 

Secondly, sorry if I don't know you well enough to say this Dazz, but I know from the other threads you are in the process of losing weight. The less fat you have on your body, the more it boosts your testosterone (which is obviously the hormone that makes men masculine). What I'm saying is that, on a practical level, keep up your fitness; make yourself as slim and muscular as possible, because you may find that it makes you feel a lot better just on its own.

 

The third point is that some people are heterosexual, some are homosexual and others inbetween. As Lady Gaga says "Born This Way" and all that. It's really a very fact-of-the-matter and boring subject matter, so if people (like your friend) are obsessed with sexual orientation, it really does say a lot more about them than you.

[Beast]

First of all, it goes without saying that gay men can be very macho, heterosexual men can be very soft and sensitive and vice versa.

 

Secondly, sorry if I don't know you well enough to say this Dazz, but I know from the other threads you are in the process of losing weight. The less fat you have on your body, the more it boosts your testosterone (which is obviously the hormone that makes men masculine). What I'm saying is that, on a practical level, keep up your fitness; make yourself as slim and muscular as possible, because you may find that it makes you feel a lot better just on its own.

 

The third point is that some people are heterosexual, some are homosexual and others inbetween. As Lady Gaga says "Born This Way" and all that. It's really a very fact-of-the-matter and boring subject matter, so if people (like your friend) are obsessed with sexual orientation, it really does say a lot more about them than you.

 

Yeah, I see what you're saying. It would say more about those people than it would me but it just annoys me so much how people can be like this. It'd honestly annoy me more seeing someone else go through the same thing, which sounds kind of weird.

 

I also see what you're saying on the fitness front and while I'm keen on fitness and stuff, I haven't been doing it for the last couple of months due to health reasons. I still try when I can though but I take it easy. Also, just going to put it out there, I think it's very safe to say that you guys on here actually know me a heck of a lot better than 95% of people in real-life do, which is also odd as well. The only people who truly know me more are my family and then you guys and then my friends. Not so much to do with knowing all about me but more about understanding me, if this makes any sense. When I get better though, I'm going to do that running course again (the couch to 5K) and maybe try and go for a fitness trainer course (something I've been thinking of doing for a while but still undecided).

[Coolness Bears]

This is why I only talk to ghosts.

 

*deleted incoherent thoughts*

[Beast]

Sorry you have to deal with that Dazz! You seem like you have your shit together, it's a shame some of your friends don't.

 

Thanks, Yvonne. I've dealt with this quite a bit in my life to the point where it doesn't usually bother me but at this point, having to still tell the same person whom I've known for six years who should know me by now, it kind of tires you out a bit and pisses you off. I just hope one day people will understand that attitude, taste and whatever doesn't define your sexuality but liking the opposite or the same sex or both or none in a sexual way does. I just can't get why people can't see that.