Magnus Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Why does she go after such underachieving dingbats? Is he hot? I'm guessing he's hot.
Ashley Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 He looks like a slightly slimmer and younger Matt Berry. So no. But she did spend nearly four years with the last one and seemingly was only in it for his body (remember Robin and Michael Trucco's character in HIMYM? That).
Magnus Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Well, now it just sounds like you're bitter that she's letting the wrong guy stay over for the week. :p
Ashley Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Oh god no, I had to suffer with her dumbass ex for four years. Gladly never see him again.
Magnus Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Well, you wouldn't have had to talk to him! You could just sit around and watch as he walked around the apartment shirtless (I assume that's what attractive people do).
MoogleViper Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Well, you wouldn't have had to talk to him! You could just sit around and watch as he walked around the apartment shirtless (I assume that's what attractive people do). Well I'm currently reading this topless, so yeah, they do.
Ashley Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Well, you wouldn't have had to talk to him! You could just sit around and watch as he walked around the apartment shirtless (I assume that's what attractive people do). Actually he was often just in underwear, at her behest.
Magnus Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Maybe she did it for the benefit of both of you! You'll have to pay her back with some shirtless baristas.
nightwolf Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 My housemate is away for the week and letting her boyfriend stay here, and he's doing so because his place is shit. Why does she go after such underachieving dingbats? Explains why I got back and there was a smell coming from the bathroom. Anyone else encountered similar problems with housemates' lovers essentially moving in? Although in fairness, she lets her friends move in as well. Personally I'd feel weird if my partner (lol) let me stay at theirs when they weren't there. Yes, I've encountered this twice. Mostly whilst I was at university. The only suggestion I would make would be this: contact the landlord. If you cannot do that - move. It'll get worse.
Ashley Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Contact the landlord? HAHAHAHA! This is the dbag that four months after we told him the front door isn't closing, hasn't done anything. Took two months to replace a cooker that wasn't working and six months to make sure the internal doors meet fire regulations. Contract is up in just over a month, I'll wait it out.
nightwolf Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 In usual circumstances then (I wasn't aware your landlord was such a douchebag :P). Usually because it can get you into issues with them, an agency if you're with them. I also believe that if they stay and you pay council tax you can be in trouble for that one too. But don't quote me. I've had it twice, as mentioned, the first time I don't think the guy left to go back to his parents house for a good 3-5 months, I was tearing my hair out because it was already a very cramped house. I nearly ended up losing a friend over that one. The second time was a much bigger place with just two people, but the guy was a douchebag and the girl later took my room when I moved out. To put it into perspective, the guy used the shower twice in the year we were in that place. Yuck. In both situations, I waited out and never lived with either person again. It started happening in my house recently and I've pretty much put my foot down on it and made it quite clear how unhappy it makes me, but thankfully my housemate is quite sensible and 99% (not always) is quite considerate when it comes to having her OH round. In each circumstance, its difficult, on the one hand, they should be allowed to have someone over, but on the other, they aren't paying rent. My usual assumption now is, if they don't pay rent they can gtfo as far as I'm concerned, if he hates it so much as his own place, he should move.
Ashley Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 (edited) I'm aware how painfully annoying this sounds, buuuuuuuuuuut.... There was someone I worked with and we got on quite well due to mutual interests in art, music etc. We shared a lot of stories about life, family dramas and all that and we were both planning big changes in our lives (her getting a new job that involves a lot of travel, buying a house, leaving her boyfriend and me going freelance). Since she left two months ago we've met up for drinks and go to exhibitions and at one point I thought there may be something more there, but chalked it up to drunken neurosis. Went to her's two weeks ago for dinner and we drank wine and listened to vinyls and I thought I was making it all up in my head. And now I've just got an email in which she's basically said "I like you"...and I don't know how to process human emotions! I've never considered her in that way because she was first a colleague, and I try to avoid that (the barista doesn't count as the cafe is technically privately owned :heh). She does have a lot of good qualities and I do like her as a person but I don't know...anything. So confused! tl;dr Edited March 13, 2013 by Ashley
Mr-Paul Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Just GO FOR IT, I say! Much more chance of success by the sounds of it than the barista.
MoogleViper Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 But if he doesn't feel it then it's not fair to her. Can you say that you've never thought of her like that, and need some time to think about it. Meanwhile go out with her a few times, and see if you feel anything.
Ashley Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Just responded. My friend pointed out if I did really like her, I wouldn't be asking this (former colleague or not) and while I do like her, it's not in that way. Spent about an hour crafting that email, if not longer. I do feel terrible though. I am weirdly emphatic and hate feeling like I've hurt someone. How did I get to be such a mess so soon in my life?
nightwolf Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Meh, you'll feel guilty, she'll feel sad. You'll both move on.
Ashley Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 On that note, fortuitous meeting with the barista in the cafe (on his day off). Found out what course he's on...still don't know his name. Resisted the urge to find him through student records (that and he's one of 80 possible people and I'm lazy). Part of me feels like I should try and progress this, the other part prefers this.
gaggle64 Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 On that note, fortuitous meeting with the barista in the cafe (on his day off). Found out what course he's on...still don't know his name. Resisted the urge to find him through student records (that and he's one of 80 possible people and I'm lazy). Part of me feels like I should try and progress this, the other part prefers this. Oh, put a little extra stuffing in your bra and ask him if he'd like to buy you a drink already. The world is full of anonymous baristas to lust impotently after. Inaction has no purpose, by it's own definition.
gaggle64 Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Fair enough but I'll be expecting somebody's genitals to be well-bruised come Good Friday.
Ashley Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I'm going to spoiler tag this because I'm sure everyone is sick of me by now. At lunch I went in and sat down, annoyingly not in my usual general area as he went on lunch shortly after and sat in that area. Anyway, I built up the courage (unfortunately not the dutch sort) and was going to go over and say something as I left but he'd already finished his (rather brief) lunch. Urgh. I'm awful at this, truly.
drahkon Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 So, next Saturday I will see my ex again at a party. Will be the first time I'll ever see an ex again after a breakup. Any advice on how I should present myself? I'm afraid that I'll relapse, especially when getting drunk. This is going to be so awkward for me...
Charlie Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 So, next Saturday I will see my ex again at a party.Will be the first time I'll ever see an ex again after a breakup. Any advice on how I should present myself? I'm afraid that I'll relapse, especially when getting drunk. This is going to be so awkward for me... Be the gentleman, you both know that you're both going to be there so you need to 'win' the interaction (i.e. come off better than she does). Be the gentleman when you arrive and go and say hello to her, ask her how's she doing etc. Keep it short and sweet, make your excuses and leave before she has time to say much. Go and find your mates who will have a beer waiting for your return. This is the only time you should talk to her! But don't ignore her, it's a skill, acknowledge her presence but show that you're not interested at all without being rude. You then need to go and have the best night of your life. Don't look over at her when you're not in the same group as her, always have a smile on your face, look like you're having a great time. Don't get too drunk.
drahkon Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Good thing, I turned to N-E for help, because I asked a couple of mates for advice and all they told me was "You should hook up with her again". Wouldn't say no, though.. Thank you @Charlie , really appreciate it Will try to do as you said and be a gentleman. Don't get too drunk. Well, that might be a problem because I made a deal with someone that we'll get wasted The good thing about me being drunk is that I become incredibly rational, so I doubt I'll end up being an emotional wreck.
Charlie Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Good thing, I turned to N-E for help, because I asked a couple of mates for advice and all they told me was "You should hook up with her again". Wouldn't say no, though.. Thank you @Charlie , really appreciate it Will try to do as you said and be a gentleman. Well, that might be a problem because I made a deal with someone that we'll get wasted The good thing about me being drunk is that I become incredibly rational, so I doubt I'll end up being an emotional wreck. Don't take my word for law, others will give you different advice. The main point from my post is that you need to show her that you don't care about her anymore. Reasons against hooking up with her again: 1) You'll get attached to her again 2) You'll look like an idiot if she declines Reasons for: 1) Doesn't matter, had sex.
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