Ashley Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 So..... he had a complete meltdown and admitted that he has feelings for me (I personally thought it was all just a bit of harmless flirting from his side) and he's went on a bender and thinks he's destroyed our friendship despite me telling him the opposite. Was kinda moving on from the above, getting over it, letting wounds heal and he just jumps in and rips it right open again. Would've been fine if he hadnt said anything!!!! I imagine you just wanted to do this.
Beast Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 So..... he had a complete meltdown and admitted that he has feelings for me (I personally thought it was all just a bit of harmless flirting from his side) and he's went on a bender and thinks he's destroyed our friendship despite me telling him the opposite. Was kinda moving on from the above, getting over it, letting wounds heal and he just jumps in and rips it right open again. Would've been fine if he hadnt said anything!!!! If he's with a girl, tell him that he had the chance and he missed it and that nothing will change that. If he's not, go for it. I mean, I'm not going to lie but by what you told me, I think he's a toolbag but it's not about what I think or anybody else, it's about you and how you feel. If you're afraid of getting hurt, don't be. Yeah, you might get hurt but the risk is a good one to take and it's better to get hurt than to wonder what might have been...If you're over him, tell him you're over him because it might actually be the closure you need and it could very well be the reason why you feel your scars are opening again. The scars might heal nicer and faster if you tell the man that you're over him and stuff.
Raining_again Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 I imagine you just wanted to do this. I ALWAYS want to do that :p If he's with a girl, tell him that he had the chance and he missed it and that nothing will change that. If he's not, go for it. I mean, I'm not going to lie but by what you told me, I think he's a toolbag but it's not about what I think or anybody else, it's about you and how you feel. If you're afraid of getting hurt, don't be. Yeah, you might get hurt but the risk is a good one to take and it's better to get hurt than to wonder what might have been...If you're over him, tell him you're over him because it might actually be the closure you need and it could very well be the reason why you feel your scars are opening again. The scars might heal nicer and faster if you tell the man that you're over him and stuff. I'm completely not over him and the truth is part of me has always loved him... I've never felt like this about anyone, yet I'm still happy to be friends with him and have no romantic involvement. Somehow he's become my soul mate and I'd rather have him as a friend than not at all. I just always thought I was never anything more than flirting for him and I had accepted that my feelings were unrequited. I still feel like I'm going to wake up and it's not been real. Got it bad
gaggle64 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Yikes, that is a lot of somebody else's drama you don't need. Here's hoping he can blow it out himself, sounds like a lot of internal investment he needs to find a better use for. I imagine you just wanted to do this. I was absolutely convinced that link was going to be this:
Jav_NE Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 I would tease him a little if i were you. Show him what he wants but cant have unless he breaks things off with the current gf. I've been seeing my gf alot lately, and while i think she's amazing i'm kinda missing just having some alone time. It's rough going to work then driving to hers, doing stuff with her and her mates, then driving her home and then getting myself home as well most days. I'm absolutely shattered. I would love a night just to be by myself and do nothing. Is that bad? I'm fairly sure if i say this she will get the wrong idea. Girls
Emma Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 What not to do on internet dating websites ENJOY.
Serebii Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 What not to do on internet dating websites ENJOY. My profile and answers are nothing like those and I still get no responses across any dating sites
Ashley Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 What not to do on internet dating websites ENJOY. Dear people on that blog: women (or men) don't wish to date you because you're nice. It's 'cause yo ugly! I think I'm starting to like someone I've been having occasional sex with. Urgh. The worst.
Serebii Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Dear people on that blog: women (or men) don't wish to date you because you're nice. It's 'cause yo ugly! I think I'm starting to like someone I've been having occasional sex with. Urgh. The worst. Why would you be having sex with someone you dislike?
Ashley Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Why would you be having sex with someone you dislike? I never said that I dislike them. (although I have had sex with people I dislike, but different issue)
Magnus Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 If this person can make you bleed in your nether regions and you don't even care, they seem like a keeper to me, Ashley. Make a move. You've already had sex with them, so you've got nothing to lose!
Emma Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 My profile and answers are nothing like those and I still get no responses across any dating sites You do love to play the victim.... :P
Serebii Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 You do love to play the victim.... :P Not playing :p C'est la vie. I've come to terms with it and am focusing on work now so it's all good
Beast Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 Nice guys are the worst. === Seriously though, I kind of have a similar situation to this. I don't know why but I'm most likely the nice guy and girls always say they're after a nice guy so why, when they have a chance to be with one, they decide to go with the douchebag who is a complete twat and treats her like a mug? Should I start treating girls like a mug? Ugh! Girls, please tell me what goes through your minds?! Give us men a little bit of an inkling!
Ville Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 Seriously though, I kind of have a similar situation to this. I don't know why but I'm most likely the nice guy and girls always say they're after a nice guy so why, when they have a chance to be with one, they decide to go with the douchebag who is a complete twat and treats her like a mug? Should I start treating girls like a mug? Ugh! Made a video about this earlier this year, here you go:
Jav_NE Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 === Seriously though, I kind of have a similar situation to this. I don't know why but I'm most likely the nice guy and girls always say they're after a nice guy so why, when they have a chance to be with one, they decide to go with the douchebag who is a complete twat and treats her like a mug? Should I start treating girls like a mug? Ugh! Girls, please tell me what goes through your minds?! Give us men a little bit of an inkling! You have to be a bit of both i think. Nice all the time gets boring. It's like too much of a good thing. So yeh, be a nice douchebag! I'm not a girl though so i cant explain their crazy thinking.
Beast Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 You have to be a bit of both i think. Nice all the time gets boring. It's like too much of a good thing. So yeh, be a nice douchebag! I'm not a girl though so i cant explain their crazy thinking. To be fair, I'm not exactly nice all of the time, nobody is but I know how to treat people and respect them because I treat people how I expect to be treated but if you treat me like a mug, I'll treat you like one back. I don't treat girls nice especially. It's just annoying when you have girls come up to you, complain that they want a nice guy and when they get one in front of them, they go with the utter arsewipe. Like, I don't expect a woman to ALWAYS be nice because that would be unrealistic. I find it to be quite annoying. I'm nice because I treat people nice, I'm not a doormat but I'm not a complete douchebag and I don't think I ever will be. I just find it seriously weird. Like, I know what I want in a woman and I know that there are women out there who are what I look for in a woman but women say they want a nice guy with this, that and the other and so they decide to go for the total opposite!
Emma Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 To be fair, I'm not exactly nice all of the time, nobody is but I know how to treat people and respect them because I treat people how I expect to be treated but if you treat me like a mug, I'll treat you like one back. I don't treat girls nice especially. It's just annoying when you have girls come up to you, complain that they want a nice guy and when they get one in front of them, they go with the utter arsewipe. Like, I don't expect a woman to ALWAYS be nice because that would be unrealistic. I find it to be quite annoying. I'm nice because I treat people nice, I'm not a doormat but I'm not a complete douchebag and I don't think I ever will be. I just find it seriously weird. Like, I know what I want in a woman and I know that there are women out there who are what I look for in a woman but women say they want a nice guy with this, that and the other and so they decide to go for the total opposite! Just because you're being nice doesn't mean a girl HAS to like you. It's not an exceptional quality, just expected. This is what the blog is about. Men who believe women should jump into their arms because they are 'nice'. Well so what? It's not you being nice that's the issue. It's obviously something else, maybe you've got weird facial hair or are a bit tubby, or you're just a bit odd. People like to moan about their significant other. I moan about Dan every now and again. Does that mean I should leave him and get with a 'nice guy'?
Fierce_LiNk Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 Just because you're being nice doesn't mean a girl HAS to like you. It's not an exceptional quality, just expected. This is what the blog is about. Men who believe women should jump into their arms because they are 'nice'. Well so what? It's not you being nice that's the issue. It's obviously something else, maybe you've got weird facial hair or are a bit tubby, or you're just a bit odd. People like to moan about their significant other. I moan about Dan every now and again. Does that mean I should leave him and get with a 'nice guy'? Being rewarded for being nice is like getting a prize for not being an arsehole, or for not going to jail. There must be more to someone than being nice. It only makes up a tiny part of your personality. Women/Men like interesting men slash women. What makes you interesting? Find that and then find a way of putting that across, without over-doing it.
MoogleViper Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 Does that mean I should leave him and get with a 'nice guy'? Well he does have weird facial hair, and he is a bit tubby, and he's definitely a bit odd.
Fierce_LiNk Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 Well he does have weird facial hair Style. and he is a bit tubby Cuddly. and he's definitely a bit odd. Personality. @Dan Dare, I got your back, man.
Beast Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 Just because you're being nice doesn't mean a girl HAS to like you. It's not an exceptional quality, just expected. This is what the blog is about. Men who believe women should jump into their arms because they are 'nice'. Well so what? It's not you being nice that's the issue. It's obviously something else, maybe you've got weird facial hair or are a bit tubby, or you're just a bit odd. People like to moan about their significant other. I moan about Dan every now and again. Does that mean I should leave him and get with a 'nice guy'? Nah, I don't think a girl HAS to like you just because you're nice. My gripe was that girls say they want a nice guy who does this, that and the other and then they go for the exact opposite and then complain. Guys probably do this as well but I've experienced it with girls more so.
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