Beast Posted December 5, 2010 Share Posted December 5, 2010 So in the style of "Rate the av/sig above", I thought we could do that but for jokes instead and we can all rate them, funny or not, rude or clean. Here's mine for now: Blonde mom, Brunette mom and Ginger mom are sitting around the kitchen table with a coffee having a girly chat. Brunette says "I can't believe the week I had. I went into my daughter's handbag to get a chewing gum and I found a fake I.D!" Ginger and Blonde were shocked but not surprised. Ginger says "You think that's bad? I found weed in my daughter's handbag, I had no idea she was doing drugs!" Brunette and Blonde were shocked but Blonde laughed it off and said "You think that's bad? I found a box of condoms in my daughter's handbag! I had no idea she had a cock!" It's a bit crap but still, it's just to start the thread! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Konfucius Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 Actually it depends a lot on the mood I'm in whether I find a joke to be funny or not. Anyways I'd give it a hehe/rofl. Ok my joke: "Mom, Mom, I'm 13. Can I wear a bra now?" - "No, Paul!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chairdriver Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 "Mom, Mom, I'm 13. Can I wear a bra now?" - "No, Paul!" Gender dysphoria is not a joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 Gender dysphoria is not a joke. 10/10, best joke in the thread so far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 How many people does it take to tell a joke? One. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoogleViper Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 Gender dysphoria is not a joke. He never said gender dysphoria was a joke. He made a joke about gender dysphoria. Anything and everything can be the subject of a joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog-amoto Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 Went to the barbers today, sat in the chair and had a number two. Stunk the place out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chairdriver Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 He never said gender dysphoria was a joke. He made a joke about gender dysphoria. Anything and everything can be the subject of a joke. True. That's why I hate shit humour more than anything else in the world. I don't see how its any different from: "Mate are you coming for a pint tonight." "No promised my partner I'd say in to watch a movie." "Awww... that won't do. You have to come. Bring her too." "It's a guy." LOLOLO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramar Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 True. That's why I hate shit humour more than anything else in the world. I don't see how its any different from: "Mate are you coming for a pint tonight." "No promised my partner I'd say in to watch a movie." "Awww... that won't do. You have to come. Bring her too." "It's a guy." LOLOLO Firstly, your joke has to be funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 It's a joke thread. I WANT EVERY POST TO BE A JOKE OR I DELETE IT. Your mum's a joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 A man was accused of stealing mobile phones, but the chargers were dropped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoogleViper Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 Why did Nick Clegg cross the road? Because he said he wouldn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReZourceman Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 Why did the teacher cross the road? Because it was the incorrect answer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog-amoto Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 A man was accused of stealing mobile phones, but the chargers were dropped. Fantastic! A drunk man walks up to the counter and says "Can I have fish and chips please" The confused assistant replies "This is a library" The man takes a second, looks at his surroundings and then whispers "Oh, sorry! Can I have fish and chips please" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 Gender dysphoria is not a joke. Please tell me that was meant as a punchline. Because it was a brilliant one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yars Revenge Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 Woman at home having a shower when her 5 year old son unknowingly walks into the bathroom,both look at each other in surprise.... Boy: "Mom! mom! whats that between your legs?" Mom: "Umm...er" (thinks of something to say) "dont panic sweetheart its just where the axe hit me...." The boy looks confused for a second and then replies "ouch it hit you right in the c*nt!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beast Posted December 10, 2010 Author Share Posted December 10, 2010 Love! Made me giggle. Here's one I think you all will love: Mr. Cadbury met Miss. Rowntree on a Double Decker. It was just After Eight. They got off at Quality Street. He asked her for her name. "Polo" she replies, "I'm the one with the hole" she said with a Wispa. "I'm Marathon" he told her "The one with the nuts" he winked and smiled. He touched her Creme Eggs then slipped his hand into her Snickers. He fondled her Flap Jacks and she rubbed his Tic Tac. It was a Fab moment as she screamed in Turkish Delight. However, three days later, his Sherbert Dip Dab started to itch. It turns out that Miss Rowntree has been with Bertie Bassetts and he has Allsorts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The fish Posted December 11, 2010 Share Posted December 11, 2010 I don't understand why those "insert food brand names into a semi-coherent story" things are considered jokes. Surely it's just...nothing. Wordplay? If even that. But then I shouldn't comment, I don't find jokes funny (especially just written down). You have to remember that you like Bjork. You're not like most people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoogleViper Posted December 11, 2010 Share Posted December 11, 2010 Bjork is the 132th highest played artist on Last.fm with 56 million plays. She does have a large following. How many of those are from you and paj? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog-amoto Posted December 11, 2010 Share Posted December 11, 2010 ^^^jayseven, work your mod magic please^^^ http://www.conjunctivitis.com...a site for sore eyes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted December 11, 2010 Share Posted December 11, 2010 *salutes* Why did sally fall off the swing? Because Billy threw a fridge at her. The jokes don't have to be good, but if you take things seriously in here then you're doing it wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paj! Posted December 11, 2010 Share Posted December 11, 2010 Delete my post but not Fish or Moogle's? MMMMMMMkay. Snow White received a camera as a gift. She happily took pictures of the Dwarfs and their surroundings. When she finished her first batch she took the film to be developed. After a week or so she went to get the finished photos. The clerk said the photos were not back from the processor. Needless to say, she was disappointed and started to cry. The clerk, trying to console her, said, "Don't worry. Someday your prints will come". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayseven Posted December 11, 2010 Share Posted December 11, 2010 Because they're jokes. Like your face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The fish Posted December 11, 2010 Share Posted December 11, 2010 (edited) 'Your face' jokes are always a winner, much like your mum. 7/10 _________________________________________________ How do you effectively calm down thousands of people being held without charge? Cavalry charge them! Jokes are always funnier when they're true... Edited December 11, 2010 by The fish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goafer Posted December 11, 2010 Share Posted December 11, 2010 Just one, but it takes 3 episodes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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