Sheikah Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 Apologise for this not appearing in its correction subsection (methinks Sexuality/HWYd) but this is somewhat important to me and possibly touches on many people's experiences. Also a chance to group hug if you are kind. Today, 2 months after me and my girlfriend split (who I still have feelings for, since we were together for 4 years) i found out that for the last ~year or so of our relationship she had been having an affair with another man. (yay!0) Just to put this in persepctive on valentine's day I went to her house with a freshly baked chocolate cake to show how much I loved her and she appeared very suprised at the front door. she justified this as beijng shocked with the surprise and that her house was a mess (we were long distance). we then went to the local shop while her mum 'tidied' her house to a state that was acceptable. except hnow she admits that this was for the opportunity for the guy inside to disappear outside the house. Her mum knew about this guy btw. And yet she would ofeten give me a lift to the station on the way home and say 'it's always a pleasure to have you down'. For 9 months to a year she saw him and me (I didn't know about him but he mknew about me) because she couldn't decide if she wanted me (thus didn't dump me straight off). I wish she had dumped me straight off because the thouht of her being with another man for nearly a year makes me sick.# the funny thing is that I love her and want her back yet 2 weeks ago sehe found out about me dating this girl (as we broke up roughly 1.5 months ago) and then went crazy saying she wanted me back. Knowing how much she hurt me when she dumped me I said no because I didn't want to be hurt again. Now 2 weeks later I profes my love to her and get told that she ASKED him to propose to her. now she has a wedding ring from this guy and is engaged to him. So yaaaaaa I want to kill myself right now because the girl I love has not only admitted that she cheated onme for a year of my life but also that she is proposed to hium! Haha, this is jerry springer gold. top yourself gold, too. I love her and there is nothing I can do. She justifies her cheating in that I would argue with her a lot. We sometimes argued and I was sorry for this, butI obviously loved her all the same. It's not always easy in a long distance relationship that has been going on for 4 years. Top yourslf five! (todd)
ipaul Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 My deepest sympathies go out to you. All you need is time to get over it, things will get better.
Sheikah Posted September 20, 2009 Author Posted September 20, 2009 Sorry to hear, man. Was this dynastygal? oops clicked thanks by mistake (LOSL) but definitely, yes. What can I say. She may have been crazy to you all but I love the gal (lulz see what I did thar). And that's why it hurts so much. Told my aprents and literally broke down, dad took me to he pub and had a lovely chat with me. Yet still, it hurts. The girl I loved was cheatibng on me for so long. LULZ. I am devo'd. 1 day becfore starting a masters program YEAY!
Raining_again Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 C'mon guys group hug! You are obviously better than this girl, and I hope things get better for you.
Fierce_LiNk Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 Recently, a very good friend of mine told me that her boyfriend of 5 years had been cheating on her for the last 6 months. I was heartbroken for you, and I've been cheated on in the past so I know exactly how it feels. You can work this stuff out, but only if both sides want to work at it. It's a severe breakage of trust, and there's no telling how long it will take to earn that trust back. In many cases, the trust can't ever be recovered. She can use whatever reasons she likes for cheating, but it doesn't justify her actions. She was in the wrong, and she knew what she was doing. I mean, taking you out to the shops so that the guy could be snuck out? And involving her Mum in the situation? That's pretty calculated and very low. Remember, she is only just one person. There are...so many out there. I lose count. I guess you just need to the courage to tell her how you feel. Whether you do want to give her another chance, or whether you want her out of your life and the ability to move on. Either way, you'll need courage for that. You can find it here and within yourself.
Pyxis Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 This story is a bit like Spaced. I hope you get over it soon and that it wont hinder future relationships. Respect and trustworthiness are the foundations of true love.
Sheikah Posted September 20, 2009 Author Posted September 20, 2009 (edited) WHER EWIS THE DAN DARE! I know he deleted me on MSN for some reason but i can for some reason see him hugging me because of masters relationshionship., I always thought the guy was tgop class for some reaoson. LOL. Edot: she is saying this is not justified because it coversonly my side of the storyr. so I will admit we argue reasonably often and I have made her cry (but int hte past she had defintieluy made me cry, expecially with this guy she she love dwho she would fiall back in love with and say she didn't love me anymor efor). ir was a while ago but she KNOWS i have always loved her. AYAY! And trhose of you expdecting bad taste jokes: ] it took meabout 4 r5 mins to image tag this bwahahahq! Edited September 20, 2009 by Sheikah
Wesley Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 I'm sorry to hear about this man. I knew a few people who have been in long term relationships and have been cheated on; who do, after a while get over the whole thing... not that it'll be easy etc, but they do get on with it all. The thing to remember is that you'll leave this okay. Where as your ex is leaving this having a potential marriage which started in such a terrible way, and will probably end just as.
LegoMan1031 Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 Sorry to hear that mate. I can't say i have experienced it and so cant feel your pain but i can imagine it. I hope things get better for you. It would of been so much better if like u said, just finished it alot sooner. As a fellow Cheshire based member (one of the very few i believe) you get a very BIG HUG from me (in a non gay way of course...).
S.C.G Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 *joins in with the group hug* Raining is right Sheikah, you're miles better than her and deserve better too, I hope things start to look up for you soon... I realise that these words will probably go unheard at first but I really do wish the best for you, so don't give up, things might seem bad now but someday, you'll look back on this from being in a better place in your life and realise that this happened for a reason, all things do be they good or bad, I know that it must suck and I can't imagine how much, I just hope that things turn out well for you in the future.
Sheikah Posted September 20, 2009 Author Posted September 20, 2009 OMFG LOOK AT THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE VIEWING THIS TOPIC. aLL consolkidate into one monthly mpayment! then sexchange your gold for cash. i expcect eviil will get this. UEHAHEHA. D:d
Fierce_LiNk Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 OMFG LOOK AT THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE VIEWING THIS TOPIC. aLL consolkidate into one monthly mpayment! then sexchange your gold for cash. i expcect eviil will get this. UEHAHEHA. D:d Really, if she's making you feel this bad, then she's soooo not worth it, dude. Why bother with someone who makes you feel like crap? Things seem pretty shit with sprinkles on top, but things are never bad forever. Everyone has their day. I think you should begin to put her behind you, for good. And move forward. Start a new chapter.
chairdriver Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 (edited) My experiences with cheating have left me so dry. Calum, my favourite person in the world, met Natalie, back when they both worked at my work. They fell for each other, or whatever, and everyone was like "..." because Natalie had a boyfriend, who she lived with, of 4 years. Calum didn't know at first, and was like "... HMMMM..." when he found out. He kept trying to convince her to break-up, but apparently her boyfriend was depressed and it would probably cause him to kill himself or something. Then Calum went away travelling to Australia, and they e-mailed/phoned each other every day. Calum comes back, is unemployed for 3 months, and their relationship becomes stagnant because Natalie is really hot/cold all the time, and she still hasn't broken up with her boyfriend. Calum gets a new job, and learns from a guy he has just met that Natalie slept with one of his friends, and Calum is like "... wtf?". He's angry. She's been sleeping around, whilst having a serious relationship with her bf, and apparently being "in love" with Calum. He is massively raging, has a massive shouting-match with Jenn (Natalie's best friend) because she lied for her, and now has nothing to do with either, and feels like 5 months of his life was wasted. And now I dare not bring up the whole affair, because I get sad when I see Calum sad/angry. Granted, it's prolly his fault for not realising that if she was cheating with him, she'd also cheat on him too. Edited September 20, 2009 by chairdriver
Paj! Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 Though I'm not going to pretend to understand how you feel, I'll tell you it's not worth "topping yourself" over. I know you weren't being really serious, but even so.
Supergrunch Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 As I said on IRC, this really sucks. And multiple things Dynastygal has done to you seem pretty unforgivable (not just the cheating, but also the explosion when you were dating the new girl), so much as you might feel you love her, it sounds like you're best forgetting about her altogether. Also she's probably telling you this to get some kind of a rise out of you, so the best thing you can do is ignore it. *joins in the hug*
Paj! Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 Calum, my favourite person in the world You've played me like a pitbull in a basement. Dear mary, please, temper my hatred with peace.
chairdriver Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 You've played me like a pitbull in a basement. To be fair, he buys me stuff, and cooks for me.
Tellyn Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 If it's any consolation, I always thought she was a bitch. And now it turns out that mumsy is also a bitch, so it seems to run in the family. *group hug!* Seriously, you deserve better than that dude.
Fierce_LiNk Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 Granted, it's prolly his fault for not realising that if she was cheating with him, she'd also cheat on him too. That's the thing with cheaters, they really know how to deceive you. They're the experts at deception. How can you trust someone who lies? You can't, I guess.
Sheikah Posted September 20, 2009 Author Posted September 20, 2009 As I said on IRC, this really sucks. And multiple things Dynastygal has done to you seem pretty unforgivable (not just the cheating, but also the explosion when you were dating the new girl), so much as you might feel you love her, it sounds like you're best forgetting about her altogether. Also she's probably telling you this to get some kind of a rise out of you, so the best thing you can do is ignore it. *joins in the hug* Yes itr's true...she had been dating a guy for 9tmonts while still with me but calles the girl i had met (quite sometime after dumping her) a 'whore' and whatnot. she said hshe wantsed me back etc. and i said no because thanks to friends who stayed with m e after she dumped me i knew that she would only hurts me again. and she called her a whore (despite me at most having kissed her) despite havubgn cheated on me for obver 9 months!!
Paj! Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 (edited) To be fair, he buys me stuff, and cooks for me. Yeah, but if you add up all the hospitality my family has given you... But yeah. Realistically you always end up buying me stuff, so he wins. Tell him I'm dry/ving. --- Sheikah; Is it that she's getting married to him that hurts? Cause at first I thought, "Oh, at least she was cheating with someone that wasn't just a fling" but then it makes it worse that a) you still love her and b) she's now going to (symbolically) be forever with the guy who took her from you. This post actually has no purpose. It's like I'm rubbing it in. I'm sorry. Take me away. Edited September 20, 2009 by Paj!
Sheikah Posted September 20, 2009 Author Posted September 20, 2009 (edited) That's the thing with cheaters, they really know how to deceive you. They're the experts at deception. How can you trust someone who lies? You can't, I guess. she apprarently didn't dump me when she startted to go out with me because she didn't know if she wanted to dump me yet. sheo she sturng me along because she may have wanted me or him. i was basically a coandidate for her future and to be toyed with eat will for the purpose of whaether she wanted me or not. i love being played! yaya funtimes! Hiro: YAATAAA!! Yeah, but if you add up all the hospitality my family has given you... Edirt: how do you even say your name? that is so cool. it's like, i say it like ' padge mean ahhh". what's up with that. But yeah. Realistically you always end up buying me stuff, so he wins. Tell him I'm dry/ving. --- Sheikah; Is it that she's getting married to him that hurts? Cause at first I thought, "Oh, at least she was cheating with someone that wasn't just a fling" but then it makes it worse that a) you still love her and b) she's now going to (symbolically) be forever with the guy who took her from you. This post actually has no purpose. It's like I'm rubbing it in. I'm sorry. Take me away. It's dlike a squadrubple wammy! learniugn that several times you saw her she was cheating, learning she dont want you anymore, and learning that hes so great she engaged to him within a shortth amount of time! Yayy to TRIPLE RAPE! Think of a tripel edged dildo. IT went right up! Edited September 20, 2009 by Sheikah
Supergrunch Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 Yes itr's true...she had been dating a guy for 9tmonts while still with me but calles the girl i had met (quite sometime after dumping her) a 'whore' and whatnot. she said hshe wantsed me back etc. and i said no because thanks to friends who stayed with m e after she dumped me i knew that she would only hurts me again. and she called her a whore (despite me at most having kissed her) despite havubgn cheated on me for obver 9 months!! Yeah, hypocrisy for the loss.
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