Posted April 19, 2009 Dude, sounds like a pretty alright rejection. At least it wasn't too awkward and it sounds like you would have come across as a thoroughly decent chap. Give it some time maybe. Worst case of rejection I had was back in sixth form. Fancied this girl for ages and we were friends but I never had the guts to ask her out. Anyway one night we were at a party and go to dancing together. Pretty soon we were outside having a bit of a kiss and had decided to meet up the next day for a date. I felt like I was going to explode with happiness, but next day I go to meet her and she's late. When she eventually turns up she tells me that she's changed her mind and that she's off to the pub with her friends. I continued to fancy her and hope something might happen, but then she went out with one of my friends instead and ended up dumping him on his birthday. I then realised, she was a bit of a bitch. After that I didn't ask anyone out for ages, but then I followed some advice I heard in a song: "Daddy, what does regret mean?" "Well son, the funny thing about regret is that it's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't. And by the way if you see your mum this weekend be sure to tell her SATAN SATAN SATAN SATAN!" Wise words from Orbital, wise words. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 19, 2009 The best idea is to completely ignore her. Everytime you see her, look at her like she's something you scraped off your shoe. Just treat her with complete disdain. She'll be falling at your feet in no time. Girls like a edgy, cool, bad boy, which is why i've always had no success. This works. After my recent experiences I did a little "experiment" (which makes it sound very clinical, but it's effectively what it was). A friend of a friend who I see irregularly - decided I was going to do this exact thing with her and see how she reacted. Sounds very harsh actually said like that - like I was just experimenting with her, using her as a test subject, but fuck it. Apparently it worked, since I hooked up with her at a party last week. Nothing long term, just messing about for the night, but a successful result nonetheless. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 19, 2009 Interesting, seems like adopting the 'bad' persona could be good if your looking for casual fun, sounds like it's not much good if you're after something more long-term though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 19, 2009 Interesting, seems like adopting the 'bad' persona could be good if your looking for casual fun, sounds like it's not much good if you're after something more long-term though. PERSONA! Sorry, i honestly couldn't resist myself... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 19, 2009 I actually read something about this years ago that might explain it. Apparently (though of course this won't be true for everyone) women will want to build a long term relationship with a nice, friendly and pretty average/normal guy. However the bad boy/good looking hunks are the ones they're most likely to have short term flings with or cheat with as to pass on "better" genes to their children. Or something like that. Though I'd take it with a grain of salt too. But yeah it could explain why a lot of girls are attracted to the bad boy type? Don't know. I know it's nowhere near true for me. Personality is the main focus, though of course having good looks is a nice extra. But yeah with both my boyfriends I got to know them online for ages before actually meeting them, heh. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 19, 2009 Interesting, seems like adopting the 'bad' persona could be good if your looking for casual fun, sounds like it's not much good if you're after something more long-term though. Dunno. I never really had any interest in taking it any further, so I have no idea if it could have done so. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 19, 2009 To appeal to the RPG nerds in us all, you could compare this to a score check: When the girls are searching for a one night stand or something similar superficial, it's one's skill points in superficiality that counts, i.e. looks and "cool" factor, the latter of which apparently the bad boy type has a lot of. When they're searching for something deep and lasting on the other hand, it's wise having spent skill points on your personality. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 19, 2009 To appeal to the RPG nerds in us all, you could compare this to a score check: When the girls are searching for a one night stand or something similar superficial, it's one's skill points in superficiality that counts, i.e. looks and "cool" factor, the latter of which apparently the bad boy type has a lot of. When they're searching for something deep and lasting on the other hand, it's wise having spent skill points on your personality. Are you sure talking like this isn't the reason behind rejection? :p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 19, 2009 Are you sure talking like this isn't the reason behind rejection? :p Interesting point though, imagine if everything in life was based on 'skill points' or something similar... I'm actually undecided on whether this would be a good or bad thing though :p still... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 19, 2009 Interesting point though, imagine if everything in life was based on 'skill points' or something similar... I'm actually undecided on whether this would be a good or bad thing though :p still... Depends on what you have to kill to level up I guess... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 19, 2009 Depends on what you have to kill to level up I guess... Time... skill points could be allocated based on how much of your time you 'kill' while working, as well as still gaining the usual monetary benefits of course. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 19, 2009 Job classes are luckily already laid out for us; the points, however... And of course you can play the job role in true Baldur's Gate personality-choice style. Doctors: Lawful Good: Heal damage points to restore your HP! Somewhere closer to evil: Fuel your drug addiction! Chaotic Evil: Harold Shipman. =D Rockstars: Lawful good: Charisma masters best for recruiting new party members. Chaotic Evil: Crimes against music; rap. Chaotic Asshole: Donnie Tourette. Athlete: Lawful Good: Record breaker; possess greatest endurance and speed. Unlawful Good: Steroid abuse (for those unsure, google Chris Redfield). Banker: Lawful good: No such thing. Chaotic Evil: Money extortion. Good for gaining gold; doubles enemy encounters if present in your party. Real life has the best graphics, and the lowest system requirements. I love it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 19, 2009 (edited) theres also a night when i tried to chat up every girl in a club in sunderland. not a single possitive response. rejection is the new one night stand. You need a night out in Sunderland with me! : peace: /late to this thread... I could offer all kinds of advice on this scenario. After my extended dating past I decided to get my dating life handled via the power of research into the theories behind attraction/sustaining relationships/building sexuality& attraction etc... And...well, it's incredible. I'm having so much success with the opposite sex that I can now see why a lot of relationships/non-starters I had failed in the past. I do plan on making some kind of thread with my findings when I get round to it. It's bloody good fun! Oh..When this girl said "we should be friends" you should have said something along the lines of "woah...I wasn't wanting anything more! I just wanted to get to know you and make sure u aint a pyscho! You're a fiesty one aint ya!?" Or something equally as "un-needy" and funny. The friendship line is a classic girl line. Reverse it and use it on them - it makes you different and that's a good thing. Remember: Rejection isn't personal...it's just someone not seeing your viewpoint and going in a different direction. And...We never regret the things we do, only the things we don't. Hope this gets you on the right track for now Edited April 19, 2009 by tapedeck Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 19, 2009 Or maybe TD will lend you his dating self help books Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 19, 2009 You need a night out in Sunderland with me! : peace: /late to this thread... indeed i do. had a wicked night there last night. we need to get some borough bombs! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 19, 2009 If you're an attractive girl its like being in a sweet shop or something... So be the candyman? indeed i do. had a wicked night there last night. we need to get some borough bombs! hell yes. Boro...as in Smoggies?! Or maybe TD will lend you his dating self help books Pick a book...They are pure gold. If you wanna work on this side of your life and figure out WHY you're always becoming the "friend" or being misled you really have to put your study hats on. There are certain aspects of human nature that will dictate how the opposite sex will see you. Sure, we're all different but still, certain facets if attraction are written in stone. (Or genetics). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 19, 2009 hell yes. Boro...as in Smoggies?! you never had one? in the suderland pub the borough, they sell borough bombs. lethal things, its a mix you drop a shot into and do the whole thing as one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 19, 2009 Oh..When this girl said "we should be friends" you should have said something along the lines of "woah...I wasn't wanting anything more! I just wanted to get to know you and make sure u aint a pyscho! You're a fiesty one aint ya!?" Or something equally as "un-needy" and funny. The friendship line is a classic girl line. Reverse it and use it on them - it makes you different and that's a good thing. And...We never regret the things we do, only the things we don't. Hope this gets you on the right track for now I'd never say something like that though, reading up on things and then applying someone else's knowledge to a real-life situation is all well and good but it won't always work for everyone. I do however appreciate the advice in my case I think the friend 'line' was genuine and tbh she probably didn't even want me as a friend either, not outside of work anyway but the thought of friendship at least was nice while it lasted. For now I don't think I should be looking for love as such but if it finds me then that's fair enough, I probably don't even know what I'm talking about tbf but I don't think there is any right way or any hard and fast rules, just generalisations that are formed from peoples experiences. If one piece of applied advice works for one person though then that's great but it's subjective, not universal. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 20, 2009 I know these are generalisations but for me, they prove to be true. Girls really do go for that 'cool' or 'bad boy' type of guy. I'm at uni right now and wouldn't mind being in a relationship. Its just that all the dikheads seem to be gettin all the action. The ones that treat their gfs like shit tbh and i hate it. But as someone mentioned before, they are only short term flings tbh. I think if girls were looking for something more long term (which they aren't, considering i'm in my first year at uni) then, and only then, will guys like me be considered. Its just the way i feel cos i'm a nice guy to girls. I'd like to know them before things can go further. But at this moment in time, I'm just friends with lots of girls and nothing more. Nice guys finish last as they say. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 20, 2009 The thing that annoys me is when the dickheads get the girls, then they gradually mature and the girl stays with them and they live happily ever after. I mean, its just bullshit. Such guys dont deserve to have long term relationships after what they do to their girls in the dickhead phase. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 20, 2009 The thing that annoys me is when the dickheads get the girls, then they gradually mature and the girl stays with them. But it's not all about that. Sure, they may mature/age but they still have character traits which caused an attraction in the first place. And, if that attraction was to wane, the relationship would end. So it can't be purely on maturing. It's gotta be something more surely? I've made a more insightful thread about this with more insight into why girls like bad boys. http://www.n-europe.com/forum/showthread.php?t=24459 Feel free to get the debate going there. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 20, 2009 Are you sure talking like this isn't the reason behind rejection? :p ... ... Shit ... :p I don't really talk like that, though I can be very geeky at times. But only when with fellow geeks. I believe myself capable of being very mature and serious when needed. Interesting point though, imagine if everything in life was based on 'skill points' or something similar... I'm actually undecided on whether this would be a good or bad thing though :p still... I actually often compare real life to video games and make these kinds of parallels. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 20, 2009 heh... well i just got off the phone with the woman in charge or recruitment for the deli job ~ she hadnt checked the recruitment email address and asked me to forward the email on to her personal address... while i was on the phone she asked me to read it out to her... and she was FUMING. she said she'll get back to me later on in the week. i made it clear that i didnt expect my whistle-blowing to change the outcome of the job offer in any way but i thought i should bring it to her attention as her staff were being so offensive in front of customers... i'll letcha know what happens ^_^ MUAHAHAHAHA... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 20, 2009 Hehe nice one Bluey, you have done well, it must have been funny to hear her reaction as you read out the e-mail to her. I know you're not expecting it to change the outcome but I hope something positive comes out of all this for you. : peace: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 20, 2009 Hehe nice one Bluey, you have done well, it must have been funny to hear her reaction as you read out the e-mail to her. I know you're not expecting it to change the outcome but I hope something positive comes out of all this for you. : peace: meh ~ kicking up a bit of a fuss is kinda making me feel better... and with the job market so quiet right now theres not a lot to DO during the daytime.... might as well harass folk ^_^ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
