Rejection...

[Charlie]

Try getting the 'lets be friends' speech after you've snogged and had a brilliant day together, with all thoughts of the next day being the beginning of something special. That's rejection. I woke up after such an experience, text this girl confidently about meeting up and just got shot down immediately. "Sorry about yesterday, i think we should be friends" - or something like that. Was a long time ago now.

 

I had exactly the same experience. Met this girl in a club, we were getting on really well. Were texting all weekend, went out to the cinema then for a few drinks afterwards. Getting on really well, chatting away for hours. Text her again the next day asking to meet up again sometime and I got the "I've just got out of a serious relationship".

[Dyson]

Try getting the 'lets be friends' speech after you've snogged and had a brilliant day together, with all thoughts of the next day being the beginning of something special. That's rejection.

 

True facts; this is basically what happened with me. It's nasty stuff.

[S.C.G]

True facts; this is basically what happened with me. It's nasty stuff.

 

Ouch, that sucks guys it never seems to be easy to know if or when it's the right time to try with girls does it? And when stuff like that happens it must be all the harder to accept. :/

[Babooo]

ahhh rejection.....felt this a month ago now.

 

Basically I started Uni last september, and i got on really well with one of my flatmates. I could talk to her about anything, we'd call each other every day, txt each other every day. It felt so good to be able to jus talk to her about things.....we never struggled for conversation.

 

We were close and others started seeing us hang out alot....my mates started teasing me about how i'm "goin out" with her and that she's my gf. She was my best mate at uni but the more I heard this, the more i thought about the idea of us being bf/gf.....and i liked it tbh. I know they were saying this just to tease me but i kinda had grown to like her. But I kinda kept it on the down low...until last month.

 

It was on a night out...i was slightly tipsy. My mate just told this girl he fancied for ages that he liked her and told me to do the same with my situation. I thought fuck it, might as well tell her. No point keeping it in. So i did.

 

You should have seen her face when i told her i had feelings for her. Utter shock. When we got home, she was like "omg i had no idea" etc and jus said "i'm sorry" in the way that meant she didn't feel the same as me. Felt like shit. Our friendship has definitely deteriorated since then and sometimes i regret that i told her. We were so close and our friendship so tight that it wasn't worth the gamble.

 

Anyways we are trying to get what we had going before but it will always be a bit different now. I'm jus trying to forget those feelings i have for her and move on. She called last night, had a gd convo i guess.....but if there's anything you take from my long ass story is that don't make a move on your best friend and, a similar point mentioned before, don't try and be friends with girls first, trying to be the good guy. That has been my mantra and look how far its gotten me.....(been single for a year and a half).

[darksnowman]

EDIT: I think as an expierment this forum should come together and reject a random member. Then after a month they can post and tell us how it feels.

 

I vote Rez for random member.

 

This sounds hilarious...

 

...but poor ReZ.

[S.C.G]

Hmm so I went to work yesterday and as predicted all was 'normal' again, I'm pretty relieved about it as things could have been weird I guess but they weren't at the same time though, it's now back to 'normality' whatever the hell that is >> but I'm on holiday now for a week so I'm not too bothered, not sure what the hell I'm gonna do for a week but nvm, I'm sure I'll think of something.

 

Anyway, lesson learnt I think, not gonna ask anyone out from work again, I was lucky this time in the respect that everything just went back to how it was, if there was a next time then I might not be so 'fortunate' lol.

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

Rejection ... I was great friends with this girl in kindergarten. When we started school, it was at different schools. Later, in the 7th grade, we end up in the same class again. I soon realise that I've fallen deeply in love with her. At some point during the next three years, I built up enough guts to tell her (over Messenger, because that's how much of a wimp I am), and she was thoroughly surprised, but kindly let me know that she didn't feel the same way. I was sad, but it wasn't like I had expected anything, so I guess I was OK with it. We're still OK today - we don't talk much, but that's just because we've drifted apart - not related to aforementioned episode. Sometimes I do wonder, though, if I've still got feelings for her. I dunno - maybe you never really get over your first crush.

 

I once had to reject a girl that I'd been going out with for about a month or so. We both knew that something was wrong, but I didn't want to admit to myself that it wasn't working, so it was actually her who brought it up, even though she probably had more feelings for me than the other way around at the time. She did, however, quickly find a new guy ... opposite me ...

 

I guess I'm just too pessimistic when it comes to girls. It makes me depressed how bad I fare with the opposite sex. I don't have problems with girls in general - I have lots of girl friends. I think I'm just one of those guys who stays "friend material" ... :/

[S.C.G]

I guess I'm just too pessimistic when it comes to girls. It makes me depressed how bad I fare with the opposite sex. I don't have problems with girls in general - I have lots of girl friends. I think I'm just one of those guys who stays "friend material" ... :/

 

I hear that, kind of sums up my feelings atm too, I know it's not necessarilly the best way to look at it but *shrugs* we can only form an opinion of how we are feeling based on our individual experiences.

[Guest Jordan]

So here's the thing i've found from my female friends.

 

When girls want a boyfriend, many of them want someone "edgy" and "cool". Someone that isn't reliable and is just kinda in it for a few months.

 

When girls want something more serious, us lame asses get a shot. It is unfortunately the way of the world. If you're an attractive girl its like being in a sweet shop or something...

[S.C.G]

What I don't understand is when girls often reject 'nice' guys and then end up going for someone 'cool' or w/e and end up being mistreated by them...

 

I'm not saying this is always the case but it seems to happen all too often if you know what I mean. >>

[EEVILMURRAY]

What I don't understand is when girls often reject 'nice' guys and then end up going for someone 'cool' or w/e and end up being mistreated by them...

 

I'm not saying this is always the case but it seems to happen all too often if you know what I mean. >>

They only want the bad guys, which end up beating them.

[Jon]

The best idea is to completely ignore her. Everytime you see her, look at her like she's something you scraped off your shoe. Just treat her with complete disdain. She'll be falling at your feet in no time.

 

Girls like a edgy, cool, bad boy, which is why i've always had no success.

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

So here's the thing i've found from my female friends.

 

When girls want a boyfriend, many of them want someone "edgy" and "cool". Someone that isn't reliable and is just kinda in it for a few months.

 

When girls want something more serious, us lame asses get a shot. It is unfortunately the way of the world. If you're an attractive girl its like being in a sweet shop or something...

Hm, I find this to be waaay too generalising.

[Raining_again]

To be honest... I think most women are like that. Any of my female friends have been - it's an ego boost with their friends. (oh look I can get a hot bad boy, that makes me officially awesome)

 

Its a completely alien idea to me.. I value personality over anything.

[S.C.G]

The best idea is to completely ignore her. Everytime you see her, look at her like she's something you scraped off your shoe. Just treat her with complete disdain. She'll be falling at your feet in no time.

 

 

That's a 'good' idea in theory but lol that's just not me and say if in theory I did manage to get a girl to go out with me that way, she would soon see that the real me isn't the full of bs persona that she fell for and the relationship wouldn't last...

 

Unfortunately it seems to be difficult to find someone who can actually love you for just being 'you' if you don't happen to fall into the generally accepted category; now I know that not 'all' girls buy into the edgy persona bs but it just seems to me that at least the majority do.

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

I value personality over anything.

I hear ya. My first and only ever real relationship, which I ended as mentioned above, didn't work out because the better I got to know her, the less our personalities fit together. So if anything, I learned some things about myself from the experience.

[Jon]

That's a 'good' idea in theory but lol that's just not me and say if in theory I did manage to get a girl to go out with me that way, she would soon see that the real me isn't the full of bs persona that she fell for and the relationship wouldn't last...

 

Unfortunately it seems to be difficult to find someone who can actually love you for just being 'you' if you don't happen to fall into the generally accepted category; now I know that not 'all' girls buy into the edgy persona bs but it just seems to me that at least the majority do.

 

Yeah, it's not exactly me either. It's all a cliche about just being yourself blah blah but if you end up getting someone by not being yourself, it's hardly the best foundation for a lasting relationship.

 

I also find it funny that every girl you talk to on the internet is about the the personality, yet the girls in my life are about the looks and the bullshit

[Supergrunch]

I find the whole "bad boy" appeal and even the friend zone thing to be massive generalisations - while there may be some truth in them, people complain about them far too often, when they should instead just be treating people as individuals instead of trying to describe their behaviour in terms of flawed (and somewhat misogynistic) archetypes. It's really not like they always hold.

 

With regards to the topic: never been rejected from anything before, mostly because I've never had the chance - never (properly) asked anyone out, never applied for a job, etc.

[S.C.G]

I value personality over anything.

 

That's the way I see it as well, physical attraction will always be a secondary factor for me personally because if someone has no personality then what kind of a person does that make them?

[Chris the great]

speaking of rejection, last night i had a few cases of girls spurning my advances. ive learned im officialy bad at chatting up :p.

 

 

its for the best actualy, i was trying it more out of some percived need then an actual desire to be with them.

[Dannyboy-the-Dane]

I find the whole "bad boy" appeal and even the friend zone thing to be massive generalisations - while there may be some truth in them, people complain about them far too often, when they should instead just be treating people as individuals instead of trying to describe their behaviour in terms of flawed (and somewhat misogynistic) archetypes. It's really not like they always hold.

I know that generalisations like that are not really truthful, but I find myself in the "good friend" role because that's how I feel. I know it's a topic where I lose most of my rational, optimistic thinking and spiral into depressing thoughts. Of course I know that I'll find the girl for me some day, but it's terrifyingly easy to dive down into and wallow in self-pity.

[Jon]

ahhh rejection.....felt this a month ago now.

 

Basically I started Uni last september, and i got on really well with one of my flatmates. I could talk to her about anything, we'd call each other every day, txt each other every day. It felt so good to be able to jus talk to her about things.....we never struggled for conversation.

 

We were close and others started seeing us hang out alot....my mates started teasing me about how i'm "goin out" with her and that she's my gf. She was my best mate at uni but the more I heard this, the more i thought about the idea of us being bf/gf.....and i liked it tbh. I know they were saying this just to tease me but i kinda had grown to like her. But I kinda kept it on the down low...until last month.

 

It was on a night out...i was slightly tipsy. My mate just told this girl he fancied for ages that he liked her and told me to do the same with my situation. I thought fuck it, might as well tell her. No point keeping it in. So i did.

 

You should have seen her face when i told her i had feelings for her. Utter shock. When we got home, she was like "omg i had no idea" etc and jus said "i'm sorry" in the way that meant she didn't feel the same as me. Felt like shit. Our friendship has definitely deteriorated since then and sometimes i regret that i told her. We were so close and our friendship so tight that it wasn't worth the gamble.

 

Anyways we are trying to get what we had going before but it will always be a bit different now. I'm jus trying to forget those feelings i have for her and move on. She called last night, had a gd convo i guess.....but if there's anything you take from my long ass story is that don't make a move on your best friend and, a similar point mentioned before, don't try and be friends with girls first, trying to be the good guy. That has been my mantra and look how far its gotten me.....(been single for a year and a half).

 

I have to disagree. My only serious relationship came from the exact same plae as yours but obviously she felt the same as I did. At least you went for it though, nothing worse than having the "if I'd only asked" feeling.

[Supergrunch]

Obviously personality (and intelligence) > looks.

 

Just remembered I got expelled from tumble tots for experimenting with the toys by stacking them up on top of each other and refusing to play normally or take part in any of the group activities ("I don't want to be a stupid train!"). Does that count as rejection?

[Chris the great]

Obviously personality (and intelligence) > looks.

 

Just remembered I got expelled from tumble tots for experimenting with the toys by stacking them up on top of each other and refusing to play normally or take part in any of the group activities ("I don't want to be a stupid train!"). Does that count as rejection?

 

to too was expelled from nursry. i cried. twice. apparently the woman running it was just a stupid bint who wanted to play with little girls but ddnt have time for boys.

[S.C.G]

Obviously personality (and intelligence) > looks.

 

Just remembered I got expelled from tumble tots for experimenting with the toys by stacking them up on top of each other and refusing to play normally or take part in any of the group activities ("I don't want to be a stupid train!"). Does that count as rejection?

 

Definitely, and yes that counts as - one of the more original - forms of rejection.