Most Inappropriate Things To Say In Any Given Situation Thread

[MoogleViper]

Oooops forgot it was me.

 

I am a really healthy guy, and by "I am" I mean "you are" and by "a really healthy guy" I mean "gonna die real soon".

 

Ok this is the winner.

[Mr_Odwin]

Situation:

 

You've just got married and are giving your speech at the reception.

[Guest Jordan]

"I am gunna fuck this woman in every possible hole tonight. Hell, i'm going to make extra holes just so i can do those too!"

[MoogleViper]

"It's a funny story about how me and Laura first got together. I wasn't sure whether to get with Laura or her sister so I tossed a coin and it came out heads."

[ipaul]

" I remember the first time me and Jessica made love on that wonderful evening where I had lost that bet"

[MoogleViper]

"To date I've made love with 64 women. I'm not sure which number Laura is."

[ShadowV7]

"Okay Barry, I married her. You owe me £50 now. Hey honey why you looking at me like that...no...put down the cake knife it won't solve anything. Somebody help me dammit!"

[ReZourceman]

"Now she has to do anal!"

[Mundi]

"I love her so much, even though she has a penis"

[steggy]

"I would like to thank the brides mother and father, and all the guys at mail-order-thai-brides.com"

 

"And now I'd like to introduce my other wife.....did I forget to mention her?"

[EchoDesiato]

She gives the best head ever, that's why I chose her. And so does my new mother-in-law. Hi mom!

[Roostophe]

"Sometimes I look at my wife, and I think of all the wonderful times I've had with her...sister."

 

"They say a woman will grow up to look like their mother...Oh, SHIT!"

 

"I love my wife so much. I will fuck her even when she's dead!"

[EchoDesiato]

"This might not be the best moment to say it, but... I'm gay."

[Mundi]

"SURPRISE! Your on candid camera!"

[Roostophe]

"I would just like to say a few words. First of all, to my darling wife, Emily. I just want you to know...that I have shagged everybody in this room! Including Phil and Alice's newborn baby, which was actually the best sex I've had since I shagged your dog. I know it looked like I was fooling around with Buster, but I truly did have my dick in his arse..."

[ipaul]

- Alice,my darling wife, though I think your nice, you are only a 6 at best and I might try to do better than you but quite frankly, I can't be bothered.

[MoogleViper]

"Oh my darling Jessica, I will love you forever."

"My names Louise."

"Oh shit!"

[ipaul]

I will love my wife forever, even when she is old and her vagina is hanging like a wizards sleeve.

[MoogleViper]

I will love my wife forever, even when she is old and her vagina is hanging like a wizards sleeve.

 

I like you. Do you like me?

[ipaul]

Funnily enough, I do.

[MoogleViper]

Funnily enough, I do.

 

Will you be my boyfriend?

[ipaul]

I'm afraid not.

[Emasher]

"I'm really a secret agent with the CIA here to investigate you."

[The fish]

"When I first kissed you, I was a bit annoyed - you see, I actually wanted to make out with your friend, and ended up with you instead."

[EEVILMURRAY]

"I've changed my mind. Divorce time."