MoogleViper Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 Oooops forgot it was me. I am a really healthy guy, and by "I am" I mean "you are" and by "a really healthy guy" I mean "gonna die real soon". Ok this is the winner.
Mr_Odwin Posted December 21, 2007 Posted December 21, 2007 Situation: You've just got married and are giving your speech at the reception.
Guest Jordan Posted December 21, 2007 Posted December 21, 2007 "I am gunna fuck this woman in every possible hole tonight. Hell, i'm going to make extra holes just so i can do those too!"
MoogleViper Posted December 21, 2007 Posted December 21, 2007 "It's a funny story about how me and Laura first got together. I wasn't sure whether to get with Laura or her sister so I tossed a coin and it came out heads."
ipaul Posted December 21, 2007 Posted December 21, 2007 " I remember the first time me and Jessica made love on that wonderful evening where I had lost that bet"
MoogleViper Posted December 21, 2007 Posted December 21, 2007 "To date I've made love with 64 women. I'm not sure which number Laura is."
ShadowV7 Posted December 21, 2007 Posted December 21, 2007 "Okay Barry, I married her. You owe me £50 now. Hey honey why you looking at me like that...no...put down the cake knife it won't solve anything. Somebody help me dammit!"
Mundi Posted December 21, 2007 Posted December 21, 2007 "I love her so much, even though she has a penis"
steggy Posted December 21, 2007 Posted December 21, 2007 "I would like to thank the brides mother and father, and all the guys at mail-order-thai-brides.com" "And now I'd like to introduce my other wife.....did I forget to mention her?"
EchoDesiato Posted December 21, 2007 Posted December 21, 2007 She gives the best head ever, that's why I chose her. And so does my new mother-in-law. Hi mom!
Roostophe Posted December 21, 2007 Posted December 21, 2007 "Sometimes I look at my wife, and I think of all the wonderful times I've had with her...sister." "They say a woman will grow up to look like their mother...Oh, SHIT!" "I love my wife so much. I will fuck her even when she's dead!"
EchoDesiato Posted December 21, 2007 Posted December 21, 2007 "This might not be the best moment to say it, but... I'm gay."
Roostophe Posted December 21, 2007 Posted December 21, 2007 "I would just like to say a few words. First of all, to my darling wife, Emily. I just want you to know...that I have shagged everybody in this room! Including Phil and Alice's newborn baby, which was actually the best sex I've had since I shagged your dog. I know it looked like I was fooling around with Buster, but I truly did have my dick in his arse..."
ipaul Posted December 22, 2007 Posted December 22, 2007 - Alice,my darling wife, though I think your nice, you are only a 6 at best and I might try to do better than you but quite frankly, I can't be bothered.
MoogleViper Posted December 22, 2007 Posted December 22, 2007 "Oh my darling Jessica, I will love you forever." "My names Louise." "Oh shit!"
ipaul Posted December 22, 2007 Posted December 22, 2007 I will love my wife forever, even when she is old and her vagina is hanging like a wizards sleeve.
MoogleViper Posted December 22, 2007 Posted December 22, 2007 I will love my wife forever, even when she is old and her vagina is hanging like a wizards sleeve. I like you. Do you like me?
MoogleViper Posted December 22, 2007 Posted December 22, 2007 Funnily enough, I do. Will you be my boyfriend?
Emasher Posted December 22, 2007 Posted December 22, 2007 "I'm really a secret agent with the CIA here to investigate you."
The fish Posted December 22, 2007 Posted December 22, 2007 "When I first kissed you, I was a bit annoyed - you see, I actually wanted to make out with your friend, and ended up with you instead."
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