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KKOB

By KKOB
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Slaggis Newbie

Slaggis

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Lol! I'm filling up this thread with my posts. *Apologises but continues to do so*

 

I just told my mate (this makes it number 2, bar the guy) that I was Bi, but after telling her I like her that is. She was completely shocked by both (I love people's reactions, on here everyone would guess I'm bi or think I was gay, but at college no one has the slightest clue).

 

I've sort of got to the stage where I'm annoyed people don't know. So I'm goign through all my *really* close mates (thought would be 5 people) and telling them to get it off my chest. It feels rather good, but I still don't want my college knowing, and don't want them to ever know. I'd rather they remember me as "Josh" instead of "they guy that said he was Bi in year 12".

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Jamba Newbie

Jamba

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You do know that you don't have to tell people right? This is what I don't get about people who aren't straight, most of them get irritated by the fact that everyone makes a big deal about them being gay or bi but to be honest they are the people who start it. You shouldn't feel that you have to tell your friends cos as you have already said, you're Josh and that is just part of who you are.

 

By telling your friends, you are trying to redefine who you are to them or you would just let it be and not care. Being Bi, you're in the perfect position to not tell anyone and let your actions speak for you. I understand that obviously telling people helps you accept yourself but seriously, feeling the need to tell people that you're Bi is one step away from the doing my most detested modern faux-pas; introducing yourself like this (literally):

 

Hi I'm Josh and I'm Bi.

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Slaggis Newbie

Slaggis

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No, I don't want everyone knowing at all. As I said, I 'd prefer them not too. But I'd like my closer friends to know exactly who I am, not just parts of me. I have no urge to define myself via my sexuality, and I dislike people that do so because your sexuality does not define who you are at all, you do. But your sexuality is at least a part of that. Other people are free to find out or not find out for themselves, I'm certainly not going to be saying "Hi, Oh by the way *insert name*, I'm bi".

 

You see where I'm coming from?

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Jamba Newbie

Jamba

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Ok that's good to hear, sorry if I was being a bit mean btw I think I just misunderstood what you meant by the way your were saying it (you see if you'd told me that in real life, I would have got it straight away. Damn typing and the intermenets!)

 

But I still don't see why you need to tell even your closest friends. Do you really think that somehow they will know you better? Sorry if I'm hammering this point across I just genuinely don't understand your motivations.

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Slaggis Newbie

Slaggis

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If you don't care enough about them to want them to know, why do you care how they 'remember' you?

 

What? I don't see any point to that question. Of course I care about how people in college remember me, even if they aren't my close friends I've known them for quite a few years now. I know my closer friends will remember me for being me, whereas people I know, but am not paticularly close are going to pick out something that stands out like finding out I was bi and remember me via that instead of something else.

 

Ok that's good to hear, sorry if I was being a bit mean btw I think I just misunderstood what you meant by the way your were saying it (you see if you'd told me that in real life, I would have got it straight away. Damn typing and the intermenets!)

 

But I still don't see why you need to tell even your closest friends. Do you really think that somehow they will know you better? Sorry if I'm hammering this point across I just genuinely don't understand your motivations.

 

No, thats fine. I wasn't paticularly clear when I typed it anyway. Motivations? One. As I said, I'd like my closest friends to know everything about me, good, bad or indifferent. Being Bi is part of that. Two. I really dislike keeping things from very close friends. It makes me feel horrible everyone time I'm asked who I like and I can't say, even though they do. Or when I really like someone, I want to chat to my friends about it but can't because it's a guy and not a girl. Three. As you said, to feel better in myself. For a time I completely hated myself because I realised aswell as liking girls, I liked guys, I just pushed it too the back of my mind tried to forget about it. But I got so annoyed with myself, and I was affecting people around me. It took me a while, but when I got slowly used to the idea, I wanted to share my problems with other people. And it feels nice to have someone understand how confusing it is to like two very different people. It still confuses me now.

 

Lol, Wall of text ftw.

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somme Newbie

somme

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I just meant that if you're not especially close to them you probably won't see them again after college, maybe occasionally if you bump into them. But they won't be in your life so why would you care what they thought of you when you were in school?

 

You'll continue to meet new people after college, and it's their lives you'll have the bigger impact on.

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Jamba Newbie

Jamba

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It makes me feel horrible everyone time I'm asked who I like and I can't say, even though they do. Or when I really like someone, I want to chat to my friends about it but can't because it's a guy and not a girl.

 

But this is my point. Just do it and people will catch on in a very natural way that won't put you on the spot, like you would be if you told someone. Just be yourself and act the way you want to, that is the best way of telling your friends who you really are 100% :)

 

Three. As you said, to feel better in myself. For a time I completely hated myself because I realised aswell as liking girls, I liked guys, I just pushed it too the back of my mind tried to forget about it. But I got so annoyed with myself, and I was affecting people around me. It took me a while, but when I got slowly used to the idea, I wanted to share my problems with other people.

 

Ouch. You think of it as a problem? That's a little unhealthy. Or are you trying to say that you can share that experience and knowledge with people?

 

And it feels nice to have someone understand how confusing it is to like two very different people. It still confuses me now.

 

Straight people feel that way too though, you're not really any different to anyone who like two people.

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Slaggis Newbie

Slaggis

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But this is my point. Just do it and people will catch on in a very natural way that won't put you on the spot, like you would be if you told someone. Just be yourself and act the way you want to, that is the best way of telling your friends who you really are 100% :)

 

Ouch. You think of it as a problem? That's a little unhealthy. Or are you trying to say that you can share that experience and knowledge with people?

 

Straight people feel that way too though, you're not really any different to anyone who like two people.

 

I would, but thats what I mean. If I just come out with "Oh yeah, I really like this guy" then the person in question will be a little shocked. Whereas if I'm just straight with them and tell them, and then never speak of it again, bar saying stuff like "Oh I like this girl/guy" etc then whats the problem? As I said, I would never use my sexuality as a personality trait. I can't believe people do that, it's just plain mental.

 

No I don't anymore. I did, I felt alone and like I was the only one that was like that. Then I came to realise there was nothing wrong with being who I am and it shouldn't matter if anyone has a problem with that. I just don;t understand people's problem with me wanting to tell my very close friends? It's not like, as you say I'm walking around parading my sexuality as though it's what defines me as a human being. I just want the people I hold close to me to know every aspect of myself. I'd feel like I'm keeping something from them If I didn't just happen to slip it into a conversation (Well, you know what I mean). Yes I could just let them find out for themselves but I'd rather save them the shock and then the following anger at me not telling them by explaining to them now when I feel good about doing so.

 

Come on Jamba, I do know that! :D

I understand that completely. But it was a little strange walking down the road and thinking "Wow, she's fit" and then turning round and thinking the same thing only about a guy. You have to admit that would be a tad more confusing.

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Jamba Newbie

Jamba

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Come on Jamba, I do know that! :D

I understand that completely. But it was a little strange walking down the road and thinking "Wow, she's fit" and then turning round and thinking the same thing only about a guy. You have to admit that would be a tad more confusing.

 

Ah sorry, again, it's the way you write it! I just misunderstand :(

 

Well here is my response: The did invent the phrase "I'd hit that!" for a reason ;)

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chairdriver Newbie

chairdriver

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I think I'm quite lucky because I'm out as gay, but I don't get any bother about it at all.

 

 

I think I'm quite fussy aswell, because I only like the looks of certain guys (I can't really name a celebrity I like off the top of my head). There's one person in my life that I fancy the pants off, but alas, he is straight :(

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Guest bluey

Guest bluey

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Come on Jamba, I do know that! :D

I understand that completely. But it was a little strange walking down the road and thinking "Wow, she's fit" and then turning round and thinking the same thing only about a guy. You have to admit that would be a tad more confusing.

 

aww haggis~ i have to admit, i do the same ^__^ although i can't really say that i'm bi since i've never been with a girl... but i'm quite open to the idea. *nods*

 

i know it's easier said than done - but just be yourself... please?

you seem like such a lovely guy, dont let yourself be worried about how people from school will remember you... screw that! who cares what those people think? i used to meet people from my secondary school all the time, and not have a CLUE who they were - but somehow they remembered me... i never asked why - because i genuinely didnt care whether they remembered me for a good or bad reason.

 

(now that i think about it i guess it was because of the accident i had in year 8 that scarred my face pretty badly*...:blank: mystery solved.)

 

anyway! *hug* ((<-- because i'm well aware that all my slightly hippyish advice of "love yourself" and "be the rainbow" shit doesnt REALLY help much ~ but it's the thought that counts, ne?)) :yay:

 

*p.s. the scars arent really noticeable..my face is ok now!! (in my humble opinion, anyway ^^)

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Guest bluey

Guest bluey

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You have no idea how much that made me laugh :D

yeeeah... and it never gets old </sarcasm> :heh:

you try having a lightning bolt shaped scar on your forehead ~ one time a guy at an anime con thought it was a tattoo and took great pleasure in telling me it was on the wrong side of my forehead... @___@

(i'd *just* had some extra surgery to make it less prominent so it was pretty red...and i had to pin my hair back so it didnt get infected or something~)

 

Gonna agree with bluey, half the people at my old high school are either now working in macdonalds/pregnant/in prison.

 

So why bother worrying about people you may not meet again ^.^!

my point exactly ^_____^

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Slaggis Newbie

Slaggis

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Best evening ever.

 

*scrap the last post*

 

I've never laughed so much in my life. He just stripped almost completely on webcam for no reason whatsoever. I thought there was a girl he was doing it to, and he was just kidding with leaving it on for me. Then he said it was just me. I literally fell of my chair laughing.

 

Best thing ever.

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